As the holiday season came to the Stabler household the mood turned festive. While the absence of Elliot was felt by all of the children. It was Elizabeth who missed having her father at the house most of all. This was the first Christmas that Elliot was not on hand to help her put the star on the top of the tree. It had become a tradition, the detective had always put his youngest daughter on his shoulders so that she could reach the top of the tree to put the lighted glass star that Kathy had bought the first year they'd spent together as a couple. Instead it was oldest sister's boyfriend that had stepped in to hoist the little girl up as she performed the final task decorating the large blue spruce tree that was in place in front of the window in the living room.
James put the little girl back down on her feet but she didn't seem excited about the fact that in a few short weeks the best day of the year was coming once again.
Elizabeth moved to sit on the bottom riser of the staircase that led upstairs; her expression clearly showing that she was upset. When her mother came to sit beside her she put her arms around Kathy and said in a tiny voice "It's not fair... Daddy should be here with us."
"I know baby, I'm sure your Daddy will be here at some point, I don't know why he's not here, I asked him to come over to help decorate the tree" She said honestly.
"Does Daddy not love us anymore?" Lizzie implored. Her lips trembled as she fought to keep from crying, it was the first time that the divorce had directly affected the little girl. While she liked her father's friend Chester she still couldn't see why everything was different now. "Maybe he's just too busy to care?"
"Oh no sweetie, your Daddy loves you more than anything. Nothing short of being serious would keep him from being here with you." She said softly using her thumb to wipe away Lizzie's tears.
Lizzie buried her face in the crook of her mother neck as she finally allowed her tears to fall. It was a powerful moment shared between mother and daughter. Seeing that Kathy needed a moment alone with Elizabeth Kathleen and James managed to herd Maureen and Dickey in to the kitchen to get something to snack on giving the two females space. Lizzie for her part pressed herself against her mother, all but crawling into the woman's lap. "It's just not fair!"
Kathy lift her daughter onto her lap and cuddled her. "I know baby, I'm sure your Daddy will be here any moment." Kathy said softly holding her daughter tightly so she would know she was loved.
When the doorbell sounded alerting the household to the presence of a guest waiting on the front porch Maureen came out of the kitchen and crossed the living room to open the front door. A sudden gust of cold winter air blew into the house as Elliot stepped inside and greeted his middle child with a bear hug. "Happy holidays Sweetheart." He greeted and kissed the top of the fourteen-year-old's head. He caught sight of Kathy and Lizzie on the stairs. It was only then that he saw that the tree had been decorated and the star was in place. Suddenly he felt like a jackass. He walked over to where his youngest daughter was sitting with her mother and crouched down. "I am so sorry Kiddo." He tried to explain. "There was an accident on the bridge. I had to stop and help a young lady and her little boy who were trapped in their car."
Being only eight-years-old Lizzie still frowned when she finally looked at her father. "Why do you always have to be a police officer first? Why didn't you just keep driving?" Lizzie broke away from her mother's arms and ran up the stairs; a moment later a loud bang told the two adults that the little girl had slammed her bedroom door shut.
Kathy sighed watching her daughter go. "She just doesn't understand how your first instinct could be to save someone even if it means you're late." Kathy said looking to her husband sadly. "Maybe you should go upstairs and try to talk to her. She loves you very much." Kathy added softly.
Elliot nodded and started up the stairs, looking back at his ex-wife. "The only reason I was able to be here so soon was that Chester choose to stay behind at the scene of the accident. I am not sure when he will be joining us but I am sure one of the patrol officers will give him a ride to the house once he's given his statement as a witness."
"I understand, I am grateful to him for that then." Kathy said softly moving to get up and make sure the rest of their kids didn't eat all of the ginger bread cookies. And check on the Ginger bread houses she had put together.
Elliot climbed the stairs and walked down the hallway and knocked on the door of the bedroom that Elizabeth shared with her twin brother. He opened it and stepped inside, fining Lizzie lying face down on her bed hugging her pillow. Moving to sit on the edge of the bed he cleared his throat. "I am sorry I wasn't here to help you put the star on the tree. I guess your old dad really put his foot in it, didn't he?"
"We always do the star it's our thing every Christmas!" came Lizzie's voice as she kept her face buried in her pillow.
Elliot reached out and put his hand on the little girls shoulder and silently asking her to roll over and look at him. When her tear stained face came into view he swallowed hard when he saw the pain in his daughter's eyes. "Elizabeth..." He said softly. "You know that Dad's job sometimes comes first. I am very sorry I wasn't here to help you, but I'd like to think that you understand that sometimes Daddy has no choice but to help." He tried to explain. "I couldn't leave that lady and her son in that wrecked car." He didn't tell his daughter that the car had also been on fire and had he not stopped then the two people inside of it would have surely died.
Lizzie cried but moved to crawl into her father's lap. "I'm sorry daddy I'm sorry I wanted you with me. I miss you I hate them for always taking you away from me." Lizzie sobbed her arms around her father's shoulders.
Elliot hugged the little girl back and stood up so that he was holding her in his arms. "Don't you dare be sorry for wanting me here?" He stated his best to keep his own emotions in check knowing that he had to be strong. He kissed each of Lizzie's cheeks and then her forehead. "I promise I will be here on time next year." He vowed his tone serious. He then tickled Lizzie's sides to make her laugh and smile. "Are you ready to come back downstairs?"
Lizzie laughed and giggled squirming under her father's tickling. "Yes Daddy!"
He didn't put his daughter down and carried her out of her bedroom and down the stairs to the living room where the others had gathered once more to enjoy the gingerbread cookies and glasses of milk. He put Lizzie down so she could help herself to one of the cookies and then accepted the mug of hot mulled wine from his ex-wife. "Crisis averted." Elliot wiggled his eyebrows letting Kathy know he'd been forgiven.
"Well it at least she's out of her room." Maureen said as she watched her younger sister take one of the cookies from the plate. "I remember when you missed Lizzie's dance recital a year ago. She didn't talk to you for a week."
"Don't remind me!" Elliot said as he moved to sit on the couch beside his eldest daughter and put an arm around Kathleen to give her a squeeze. "Happy holidays honey." He kissed her cheek. Kathleen barely had time to kiss her father back before Dickey dove onto his father's lap hugging him. Elliot let out a grunt and did his best to keep his drink from spilling out of the mug. "Easy there Sport." He managed to put his drink down and then hugged his only son. "It's good to see you too."
Elliot then reached out so he could shake his daughter's boyfriend's hand. "Happy holidays to you to James. Glad to have you here with us."
"Thank you, Sir I'm honored to be part of this Christmas celebration." James blushed a little.
For the next hour it was like the Stabler family was reunited. Kathy brought out a tray of veggies and dip and also a cheese plate for everyone to snack on. This was a pre-Christmas celebration before the actual meal that she'd planned for the night of the twenty-forth when the family would gather again for a full turkey dinner with all the trimmings. Looking at his watch Elliot shook his head. It had been over an hour since he'd arrived and still there was no sign of Chester Lake. He was just about to use the phone to call his boyfriend and ask if he was on his way when the doorbell sounded once again. When Kathy stood up to answer the door Elliot fell into step behind her so he was standing behind her when she opened the door and Chester stepped into the house after he waved to the patrol officer that had dropped him off. He kicked the snow off his boots. He held out the bottle of white wine he'd retrieved from Elliot's car for Kathy to take. "Just a little thank you for inviting me here tonight."
"Why thank you Chester, how thoughtful." Kathy said with a soft smile at Chester as she accepted the gift.
"Elliot told me that you have a fondness for Hippo Creek wine." He took off his coat and handed it to his boyfriend who hung it up in the hall closet. He then kicked off his boots and stepped in to the living room. For a brief moment there was silence as Elliot's children all looked at him. However the twins both rushed up to the young Mohawk Indian and hugged him calling out in unison "Merry Christmas Chester."
Kathleen didn't want Chester there, not really. However this was a family day and she loved having her family there. She could tolerate Chester for the sake of her father. For one day.
While his family was distracted with greeting Chester Elliot got the attention of his ex-wife and motioned for her to follow him into the kitchen so he could talk to her in private. Taking a deep breath before he began looked at Kathy in the eyes. "I wanted to tell you that while I will be able to join you for Christmas Eve dinner... Chester and I will be flying to Illinois so he can see his parents and family in Landford on Christmas Day, we will be staying with them through to the New Year."
Kathy's eyes went wide, "What about your children? You know that they expect you here for Christmas Day for presents and dinner you can't just leave without telling them or giving them any kind of notice!?" Kathy gasped at him surprised.
"I can't ask the man I love to spend Christmas without me." Elliot said trying to keep his voice from taking on a hard edge. "We are going to have to make concessions to make sure that everyone is happy. I realize that it will be difficult for the kids, but their grandparents will be here to help them celebrate. I was going to suggest that we could have a second gift day in January as I will be on holidays until the second week of the month. We can make it a "new" tradition."
"You're going to have to be the one to tell them. I mean goddammit Elliot this is the first Christmas they will be having without you. If you think missing the star for the tree with Lizzie was bad; just wait until you miss Christmas Day with us. I do not want to be the one that picks up the pieces after that bomb is dropped." She said and walked away shaking her head.
"Kathy..." Elliot hissed trying to get his ex-wife's attention. "Can't we be adults about this situation?" When she continued to walk out of the kitchen he reached out to take hold of her arm to stop her retreat. "Will you listen to me for a few moments?" They'd stepped into the view of the others in the living room and got everyone attention. "Will you step out into the sun room with me please? We need to talk this out." Once he and Kathy had stepped out of the house he closed the sliding door. He was not blind and knew full well that his ex-wife was extremely pissed off. "I have my back up against a wall here!" He stated, realizing how hollow his words sounded.
"Bull shit, you and Chester chose this route before even consulting any of us! So you get to talk to your children and tell them you'd rather be with Chester's family rather than your children I'm sure Dickey and Lizzie would understand that completely!" She had no intention of staying in the sunroom with him. "And do not grab me again." She growled angry at him for trying to put this on her shoulders.
Chester stepped out into the sun room at that moment form his pensive expression he could tell that his boyfriend had told just told his ex-wife about their plans for Christmas Day. "You just let the cat out of the bag didn't you?" He looked at Kathy his voice taking on an apologetic tone. "I want you to know that I didn't pressure your ex-husband into coming with me to Illinois. We just came to the conclusion that this would be the easiest way for everyone to get to see their families."
Elliot nodded. "What if we exchange gifts with the kids on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day this year? That way I am still here when they open them?"
Kathy glared at Chester before turning and walking away she wasn't going to say another word to them until they talked to the children she wasn't going to do it for them.
"I will talk with the kids." Elliot said realizing that he'd have to "man up" to this task. "Kathy all I am looking for here is your understanding. The plane tickets are bought and are non-refundable. Please, the kids are going to need your love and support, not your anger and resentment at me and Chester."
"I don't have to like what you two have done. My children will have my love and support as will you. You two are both assholes for what you're doing. These children do not even completely understand why their father is no longer home! Lizzie keeps asking me if she did something wrong to make you stop loving her! Now you go and do this? Your children will start to doubt you even care about them anymore!"
"That is something that I have dealt with since I started seeing Chester." Elliot said as he followed his ex-wife back towards the living room where his children were sitting. He could tell that they all knew that the adults where "beefing" at each other once more and that this time the argument was a "big one". It was not how Elliot had wanted this discussion to go but now that the can of worms had been opened he knew he couldn't close and seal it again. "Kids we need to have a talk." He announced as he sat down on the couch between Kathleen and Maureen.
Kathleen looked to her father unsure what he was going to tell them but she had a feeling she wasn't going to like it at all. "Spill it Dad." Kathleen muttered leaning away from him on one arm of the couch.
Elliot took a breath and then started to explain what he'd just told Kathy a few moments ago. To say that a one could've heard a pin drop in the room would have been an understatement of the most grandiose proportions. "The good thing about this is that I will be here for Christmas Eve dinner and we can do a round of gifts that night. We will still be able to see each other and be a family but it will be a new tradition that starts this year. How does that sound to you all?"
"Are you serious? This is our first Christmas with you and mom divorced and you want to ditch us for Illinois? How is that right or fair? We're your kids he's just your boyfriend and his family isn't even your family, you're not married we're your family!" Kathleen couldn't believe what she was hearing. She wasn't even yelling her voice was deathly calm as if she were shocked. Maureen had no idea what to say she sat there looking at her lap, her shoulders slumping. Lizzie on the floor had tears rolling down her cheeks glaring at her father.
James had wisely gotten up from his chair when Mr. and Mrs. S and Elliot's boyfriend had come back into the room he'd rightfully sensed that this was going to turn into a "family" discussion and had slipped out of the room and down to the basement so he wouldn't be caught in the cross fire.
"Listen to me all of you." Elliot said standing up. "The fact is we will all have to make changes. Yes, your mother and I are no longer married and living in separate households. Yes, we are leading separate lives." He tried to make sense of all of this. "If your mother was seeing someone that she loved I'd have to make room for him when it came to family decisions. Chester is part of my life and I love him very much. He has met all of you and has accepted you in to his life. It's only fair that I get the same chance with his family."
"Why does it have to be the first year? Why can't you do that next Christmas get us use to you not being here you didn't even discuss this with any of us have you? You made this choice all on your own you don't care what we think or what we say. Why don't you just go now we don't need you here especially if you don't want to be here?" Kathleen yelled this time tears of pain in her eyes before turning to run away. Only unlike her little sister she didn't run upstairs to her room, hell she didn't even run down to the basement with James, she ran out the back door and just kept running blind to everything, cars, people everything by the tears in her eyes.
Elliot stood stock still, he didn't go after his eldest daughter. He just closed his eyes and did his best to remain calm. If Kathleen wanted to act like this a child then so be it. He'd given a viable alternative to his children and would be there to exchange gifts with them on the twenty-forth and to share dinner with his family. If that was not good enough, well then, Kathleen would have to come to terms with it on her own. He was not going to lay down every time the road of life got bumpy. Looking at Chester he licked his lips. "I think its best that we call it a night." He then moved to retrieve their jackets from the hall closet and passed the younger man his leather one and then started to put on his own, before slipping his feet into his boots. Taking a moment he looked at his three remaining children but didn't move to embrace them. "I will be back on Christmas Eve." He said, his voice flat. "Thank you Kathy for your hospitality this evening."
Lizzie started to cry and ran to her mother curling up on her lap Maureen unsure what to do just sat there.
In the distance from the house as Kathleen ran blindly across the street and was narrowly missed by a car coming towards her. The driver blasted his horn and rolled down his window. "Crazy kid… Watch where you're going!"
When Chester and Elliot walked out of the house and down the front porch steps he felt the hand of his younger boyfriend on his shoulder bringing him to a stop. "I know what you're going to say... I should be going after my daughter." Elliot let out a huff his breath billowing in the cold air. "Fine... Once again I will play the door mat for my family... But this bullshit is starting to get on my last nerve."
"They are hurt, they will eventually understand we just have to give them time." Chester said softly.
"I know that." Elliot said as he started to walk down the street but then thought better of it. "Get in the car we will catch up to Kathleen faster that way." The two men didn't have far to drive before they came to a bus shelter where Kathleen was sitting inside. She had run out of the house without a coat and in just her sneakers. Elliot got out of the passenger side of the car and took of his parka. Once he was inside the bus shelter he put the coat around his daughter's shoulders and sat down.
Kathleen started to cry the second his parka land over her shoulders. She threw herself at her father, "I'm sorry daddy, I don't mean to be so selfish, I just don't understand, I'm sorry daddy." She cried.
For a long moment he just held his daughter and said nothing. He was truly at a loss for words. It seemed like the two of them had had this conversation before. "Like I told you when we went to the rose gardens in Jersey... Chester is part of my life; I love him and he loves me. I admit that I should have talked to you all before the plans were made to go see his family in Illinois." He smiled impishly despite the fact that his daughter was still upset. "Chester just wants a chance to show your old man off to his family. He's proud of our relationship."
"Yes, but I just don't understand why you had to do it this Christmas, why you did you have to leave us this year?" She asked sobbing.
"It just worked out that way." He said. "I admit it's a lot for all of us to deal with. I have been counting on you to be the leader when it comes to your brother and sisters. You're the eldest and they look up to you. You set the tone for them to follow. I know that you're only sixteen, but you're also a young woman now." He shook his head and tried not to shiver due to the cold. "I know I am asking a lot of you, but, well, I am depending on you Kathleen to guide Maureen, Lizzie and Dickey, to help them understand."
"I didn't ask for any of this though." She told him weakly sobbing slightly. "Bu..but I'll try." She whimpered wishing sometimes that she wasn't the oldest.
He finally allowed himself to shiver and his teeth started to chatter. "Okay... We need to get into the car... Now!" Elliot mentally swore that if they didn't get somewhere warm in the next minute or so that he was sure his balls where going to literally freeze solid.
Kathleen gave a nod getting up to take her father back to his car with her so they could get somewhere warm.