That's right! I'm back! I know it's taken me forever to get this to you guys but I've been so unmotivated to write lately, it's insane. But with all the new stuff going on with the VA movie, I was inspired to finish this chapter, so I went back and read the rest of this story again, which definitely helped me a lot! So I hope you like it and it was worth the wait :) Let me know!

WIWR xx ;)

P.S. VA and characters = not mine

P.P.S. Who's excited about the VA movie? Do you agree with directing/writing/casting choices? What about the name? PM me and we can chat about it, or rant depending on how you feel ;)

-Chapter 21-

I'd done it. I'd fallen for Rose. She was the reason I smiled again, the reason I enjoyed my days and saw beauty in the world again. I wanted her, I wanted to feel her, and I wanted to be close to her. I only wished I'd been able to admit it sooner.

She was completely naked and I familiarised myself with her body as I murmured her name in Russian, over and over again. Every new touch created electricity in me I had never felt with anyone and it thrilled me.

While she was hovering over me, her fingertips brushed over the tattoos on the back of my neck. This led to a conversation about how I'd gotten them.

"Do you feel guilty?" she asked, her voice soft and her face still so close to mine.

"Hmm?"

"Killing them," she clarified. "You said in the van that it was the right thing to do, but it still bothers you. It's why you go to church, isn't it? I see you there, but you aren't really into the services."

Oddly, I found myself smiling. She had been able to see right through me since the night we met. I voiced my wonder about how she knew me so well before confiding in her, "I don't feel guilty exactly . . . just sad sometimes. All of them used to be human or dhampir or Moroi. It's a waste, that's all, but as I said before, it's something I have to do. Something we all have to do. Sometimes it bothers me, and the chapel is a good place to think about those kinds of things. Sometimes I find peace there, but not often."

Then I quickly geared myself up to say the words that really made Rose everything to me.

"I find more peace with you."

That was something I had come to realize in the past weeks. Whenever I was with Rose, even when she was being stubborn and frustrating, I was the most peaceful I had ever been. All my burdens seemed lifted from me. I supposed that should have been my first clue to my feelings for her.

She didn't say anything and I flipped her back over and we continued kissing, getting more intense with every passing moment.

I wasn't sure how far we were going to take this until I saw the decision in her eyes that she wanted me as much as I wanted her and I reached up to remove her necklace from around her neck and put it aside.

When I put the necklace down, my whole body felt like it had been hit with cold water, making me pull back from Rose and blink in shock.

"What happened?" I asked quickly, the last few minutes becoming a complete blur to me. I knew I wanted Rose, but suddenly it was like my inner logic had a voice again.

"I—I don't know," Rose answered me, her confusion clearly equalling my own.

Fighting through my uncertainty, I tried to figure out what had just happened. I knew it happened when I let the necklace go, so I reached over and picked it up again.

And the spark was back. All I could concentrate on was Rose and the feel of her body against mine. I brought my lips down closer to hers and a part of me knew with that kiss there would be no turning back, but Rose interrupted me.

Whispering, "Lissa," Rose pinched her eyes together trying to focus on something else, something that wasn't me. But I wanted all her attention on me. "I have to tell you something about Lissa. But I can't . . . remember . . . I feel so strange. . . ."

She was right and I couldn't fight it. Now that my reason had been given a voice, it wouldn't shut up.

"I know." I began to murmur things to try and help me concentrate, and once I pulled my face away from Rose's, a thought hit me. "This necklace," I said. "That's the one Prince Victor gave you?"

Rose just nodded at me while my brain ticked over, trying to put the pieces together. It was all there, I just had to think.

Something about that necklace.

Sighing heavily, I pulled away from Rose despite her pleas for me to come back.

My better judgement screamed at me to keep going—like it knew exactly what was wrong and how to fix it before I did—and every other fibre of my being wanted to squash it flat and continue holding Rose. My Roza.

I climbed out of the bed and the further I got away from Rose, the more I could see her mind rouse behind her fiery eyes. But while she was coming out of whatever it was, my need for her only grew stronger, and it took every bit of effort I had to walk over to the window and open it.

The splash of cold air that burst through the open window was enough to give me the last bit of clarity I needed. My body knew what to do without me even thinking about it and by the time Rose worked out what I was doing, it was too late and the necklace was halfway to the edge of campus.

A lust charm.

The answer hit me like a tonne of bricks as soon as the necklace left my fingers. Ivan had used one once on a girl he'd had his eye on for a while. He was sure she felt something for him too, so he used a lust charm of her.

The effects only worked if both people felt something for each other. Which meant I did love Rose. But of course I did. I could see it all now, my feelings for her were there in front of me, clear as day, but I knew what it meant and so I hadn't let myself acknowledge them. And that meant she really did love me, too.

And oh how it changed everything.

But I didn't have time worry about that as Rose cried out Lissa's name.

Registering every single one of Rose's gushed out words of what she had come to my room to tell me in the first place, I moved quickly, getting dressed and handing her a sweatshirt I hardly wore anymore before we left the room.

Rose was desperately trying to get the guardians to do something to save Lissa, but even I had trouble getting them to believe that Lissa had really been kidnapped.

"Alberta, we're standing here twiddling our thumbs while whoever has the princess gets further and further away," I said to her quietly while we waited on Rose's story to be verified. "You haven't even organized a team to go in search of her."

"I know, but Kirova is having her doubts about Rose's trustworthiness," she said.

Kirova chose that moment to walk over and catch the tail end of our conversation. "You put a little too much faith in your student, Guardian Belikov," she chastised. "After the incident at the dance earlier, this really doesn't surprise me." I moved away and went to stand by Rose.

I believed Rose with everything I had, but it wasn't until two other guardians went and found Christian in the church attic and they made sure Lissa was nowhere on campus that everyone started to see that Rose was right.

Then many of them started asking questions about Strigoi.

"Wh—? There weren't any Strigoi," she tried to tell them.

Everyone stared at Rose with disbelief, but I knew she was right, Strigoi wouldn't have bothered trying to distract myself and Rose. They wouldn't have even known to distract us. And that charm was a very old Earth spell, and who specialized in Earth magic? Who gave Rose the necklace with the charm on it? Who had I not trusted from day one?

And after a lot more arguing from Rose and the guardians, Rose slipped back into Lissa's mind and returned with the same realisation I had just had.

"They work for Victor Dashkov," she inhaled. "They're his."

A young guardian laughed at her with snort. "Prince Victor Dashkov?"

"Please," Rose begged, gripping her head in her hands out of frustration. She wanted so desperately to get going after Lissa, but no one was moving. I had the strongest urge to reach out and wrap my arms around her and comfort her. "Do something. They're getting so far away. They're on . . ." I watched her as she slipped into Lissa's head before she came back to the conversation and continued, "Eighty-three. Headed south."

"Eighty-three already?" Kirova said in disbelief. "How long ago did they leave? Why didn't you come sooner?"

Rose looked straight to me for answers, hers eyes pleading what do we tell them? She looked fearful, she didn't know what to tell Kirova despite the many lies she'd told her in the past. "A compulsion spell," I lied slowly. "A compulsion spell put into a necklace he gave her. It made her attack me."

Kirova cried, "No one can use that kind of compulsion. No one's done that in ages."

"Well someone did," I said, keeping my face perfectly guarded. "By the time I'd restrained her and taken the necklace, a lot of time had passed."

And just like that, Kirova gave the order to move out. Rose was practically bouncing with all the built up emotions—ready to jump into action. That was until another guardian stopped her in her tracks on the way out the door.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked Rose. "You're not coming."

"I'm sorry," Rose said. "I didn't realize you were going to use your bond with Lissa to track them."

"She's right, we aren't going to find the princess without her. She comes too." He didn't argue after that.

On the way to the car, Rose asked me a question. "So what was the charm, really?"

"It was a lust charm," I explained quietly. "A different type of compulsion charm."

"And?" she pressed me for more.

"It's a type of old earth magic that users haven't practiced in centuries," I said and made sure my tone told her that was the end of it.

I drove the first of three cars, Rose in the passenger seat beside me, slipping in and out of Lissa's head, telling me where to go.

While Rose was trying to pay attention to the problem at hand, I didn't miss her long, lingering looks over at me in between her visits to Lissa. I guessed that, like me, a part of her was desperate to go back to my room and finish what the lust charm had started.

And that's how I knew we would never work together. Forgetting that she was underage, forgetting that she was my student, I could never have Rose because she was going to be Lissa's guardian. And I was also Lissa's guardian. If anything were ever to happen to Lissa, if she was ever in danger, but I was with Rose, then my first instinct would be to guard Rose, whether she could take care of herself or not.

I knew Rose wouldn't want that anymore than I did. Because even faced with the notion of spending the night in my room, she still pushed through the lust charm to protect her friend.

So I knew no matter how much I wanted her, I could never have her, and I could never give myself to her. Or I'd be betraying the very mantra I'd been raised to believe—they come first.

Our SUV bounced over the uneven roads as I went as fast as I could without tipping the vehicles over, and finally, Rose said, "They're outside a small cabin. They're taking her—"

She was sucked back into Lissa's mind and I just hoped that we would get there before anything happened to her.

By the way, did you know apparently FF lets you have cover art now? That's so cool! But I'm hopeless at that stuff, so if anyone would be interested in making a cover for this story or any of my other stories, PM me and I'll let you know where you can send them! If I get lots of people wanting to send me covers, then I might run a competition :D

Also, MASSIVE thank you to all the people who have reviewed/favourited/alerted any of my stories since I've been away! It amazes me that I'm constantly getting new readers. And that old readers are still keen for more! :D

Find me here:

-Twitter: username- darcyalex_
-Tumblr: stackismyblackdottumblrdotco m
-Wattpad: wattpaddotcom/user/stackismyblack
-Instagram: username- darcyalex_

Okay, FF is too smart for me, so just replace the word dot with a . in those addresses (as if you weren't smart enough to figure that out!)