This chapter is a little lighter. I hope you like it.
I do not own Twilight.
Jacob returned to school on Monday, but it was Wednesday before I saw Leah again.
She'd been walking the halls and passed by my room, one of her friends by her side. I wasn't sure if she'd known that Edward and I had been with Jake at the hospital the other night. I suspected so, but her avoidance made me wonder.
Every time I had seen Jacob, both in class with me and around the halls, he'd been relatively quiet. Around his friends he was talkative and smiled, though it wasn't the easy grin I was used to seeing; this one was forced. His eyes betrayed the facade, though. Every single time I saw them, they held unmeasurable sadness.
Leah rarely looked my way, but the handful of times I saw her during the week after, I thought maybe she had no facade. Her smile, which had always been shy and light, looked genuine. Relieved, even.
But I didn't fault her for that. I knew she'd been through more sadness and fear in the last week than some ever experience. And for something that was not only scary to her, but making her a pariah in her own home, I could understand why no longer living with it was, in some way, a relief.
I think what was perhaps the saddest about the week, though, was that I never once saw Jacob and Leah together.
"Do you think they broke up?" Edward asked me on Friday evening after I'd told him about my observations.
"I don't know. It's possible, I suppose. Maybe her parents aren't allowing her to see him?" I questioned.
"Seems like that could be worked around at school, though," Edward shrugged.
"I guess. At this point, we've done what we can do for them. It's their own high school romance to sort out now."
We had been walking through Target, scoping out the dollar aisle and picking up a few essentials.
We had just turned into the book section when I heard a soft "Edward?"
We both turned then, and Edward's face curved into a smile.
"Kate, hi!" He said, walking towards the girl to give her a hug.
"It's so good to see you!" She said excitedly.
"It's good to see you, as well," he nodded, backing away.
It was then that I noticed that he towered over her. I wasn't particularly tall, but Edward was a good bit taller than me and I had several inches on this girl. She came to just under my chin.
She had long, blonde hair like Rosalie's and a face done up in heavy but perfect makeup. She was beautiful but not at all what I'd pictured when I had imagined Edward's ex-girlfriend.
This girl, in her short stature, was also a bit heavier. She had a large chest and a round torso, which she wore well in a knee length cotton dress with leggings.
She was adorable, though, and I felt terrible for assuming Edward had to have been with someone tall and thin. It's not like I was rocking that model body. I was short and steady in my size 10 pants.
"Kate, this is my girlfriend, Bella. Bella, this is my...ahh..." He stuttered.
"Your ex-girlfriend, Edward. It's okay," I chuckled. "It's really nice to meet you, Kate," I said, holding out my hand to shake hers.
"You, too, Bella," she smiled, though her eyes looked a little to be sizing me up. Not as competition or as her replacement. More just a comparison of Edward's past and present.
"Babe?" I heard a deep voice call before, holy shit, freaking Joe Manganiello's twin rounded the corner. He was tall and all muscle, his thick black facial hair covering his strong jaw.
"Ali, I was just talking with Edward and his girlfriend, Bella," Kate explained, beaming up at the man who'd just wrapped a long arm around her.
"Edward, nice to meet you. Kate's told me a little about the man who had my lady's heart before I had the chance to swoop in," he winked, shaking Edward's hand. "And this is your Bella?" He asked, nodding to me before reaching to shake my hand.
Edward replied that I was, indeed.
"Well, I can't hate ya too much, man. You've got an eye for beautiful women," he winked, and I didn't mean to but I may have giggled.
"Guys, this is Alistair."
"If you're wondering, the answer is yes. That name totally got my ass kicked on the playground," Alistair laughed.
We talked for a few more minutes with Kate and Alistair, or Ali as he preferred, and the smiles on both Edward and Kate's faces were genuine. They both seemed happy to see each other happy.
Edward had mentioned Kate being shy and insecure but the girl in front of me seemed at ease with herself. I could tell a little by the way she held herself that she did have a few confidence issues, but didn't we all?
We parted ways with a promise to go out on a double date sometime, which probably should have been weird but honestly sounded like it could be fun.
"She seemed good. Happy," Edward smiled, taking my hand.
"She did. She was lovely, Edward," I said, walking with him as I held a basket on one arm and looped my other arm through his.
"She is. She's always been a nice girl. She seemed to have come out of her shell, that's good to see. He seems to help her feel more at ease with herself. She was so shy," he said.
"Well, you were, too, when we first met. Maybe it just took you each finding the right people to help you come into yourselves," I smiled, leaning into him.
"Maybe. I've definitely found my right person," he whispered, pulling me to him tightly and kissing the top of my head.
"I'm your person?" I joked quietly.
"You're my everything," he answered sincerely, taking my breath away as he consistently did.
Later that night, we sat around our apartment living room with Rose, Emmett, Alice and Jasper. We'd made tacos with all the fixings for dinner and were now having a game night, as was becoming our tradition. We were playing couples versus couples in Scattegories, and Edward and I were kicking ass.
"Hey, wait. This isn't fair!" Emmett screeched. "Those two are both English teachers, so of course they are winning. Words are like, you know, like, their thing!"
"Though clearly they aren't yours," Rose laughed.
"Well, fine. Let's switch teams, then," I suggested.
"Fine. I get Edward," Emmett said proudly.
"I call Bella!" Alice chirped from the floor in front of the coffee table.
"Guess that leaves you and me, pretty lady," Jasper said to Rosalie, moving to sit beside her on the couch.
"Pssh, I'll take that kind of flattery over being picked for my nerdiness any day," Rose laughed.
We laughed so hard, debating the correctness of answers, fighting for points, agonizing over not enough time.
When Emmett and Edward won in the end, they stood up and bro hugged.
It was the most fun I'd had in weeks, a welcome change from the pain I had watched two of my students endure.
"Hey, Bella, Alice, I know it's last minute but I'm meeting my mom at Charlotte's Bridal tomorrow to look at wedding dresses. Y'all want to come?" Rose asked as all six of us worked to clean up our mess.
"Yay! You're finally going shopping! Of course I want to go," I answered.
Rose and Emmett were still deciding on a date. She stayed busy with the firm, and spring was one of their most hectic times. And she hated hot weather weddings. Plus she didn't want to be rushed to plan it, so that ruled out two seasons, both for this year and next.
August through November was football season for Emmett, so that was next to impossible, and they still had the bowl game to prepare for in December.
As of now, they were looking at January or February. She was scared February would be too cliche, but I kept reminding her to pick what she wanted, not what she thought others did or didn't want.
"I'd love to go! Thank you for asking," Alice answered.
"Great, we're meeting there at 11," Rose smiled. And even though she'd thumbed through a few magazines, this was going to be the first real step to wedding planning, a step I knew she'd wanted to take sooner. They'd been engaged for nearly three months now, but with their schedules she'd been at a standstill. I was happy to see her getting excited now.
"Bella, we can look for your MOH dress, too," she said, though I had no intention of doing such. This day was about her; I could get my bridesmaid dress later.
"It's too bad we can't go to Atlanta to be on 'Say Yes to the Dress'," I laughed, but Rose wrinkled her nose. She loved watching that show but never wanted to be on it. She'd be hard enough on herself. She didn't need it televised with the added critique of a crew of ladies and sales associates, too.
"That's what I said! She could have totally gone to meet Monty!" Emmett laughed.
"So, now on to more important wedding planning events. When do we get to do the cake testing?" I asked seriously, because let's be real, the cake was the best thing about weddings.
Rose and I walked into the dress shop the next day and found her mother already there, combing through racks. Alice had text me that she was on her way, so Rose and I moved to join her mom.
"Hey, mom," Rose said.
"Rosalie, Bella, hello, darlings!" Judy called, and even out for a casual day of shopping, she looked perfect with her short blonde hair and carefully picked out jeans and blouse. She was effortlessly elegant like her daughter. She enveloped Rose in a warm hug before moving to me.
"Hi, Judy," I said, leaning in to give her a hug and smelling the rich scent of her perfume.
"Rose, honey, I've already had Rachel pull a few that I liked. I hope that's okay," Judy smiled, turning back to the racks.
"Sure, mom," Rose sighed.
We spent the next two hours sitting outside of the dressing room while Rose modeled dress after dress. Alice had arrived just after we had.
"I loved that third one," I said.
"Me, too," Alice agreed. "Though I wore a $20 dress that I ordered from eBay, so I don't know how much my opinion means," she laughed.
"It means more than you know," I said, turning to her. "Rose values your opinion. She doesn't have many girlfriends. She and I both cherish the friendship we've formed with you," I said honestly.
"Oh, Bella. Thank you."
"So what made you decide on a smaller wedding? Edward showed me pictures, by the way. You looked gorgeous," I said.
"Oh, thank you. We'd considered a bigger wedding. In fact, we had gotten pretty far into planning a bigger one. I even had a much more expensive, fancy dress. My parents had put a deposit on a venue, and it was going to be a huge event. Since I'm the only girl, I felt entitled to it," she shrugged.
"What happened? I mean, why didn't you go through with the plans?" I asked.
"It changed me," she chuckled humorlessly. "I was obsessed with details and things that didn't even matter. I was a true bridezilla and it ran Jasper away," she said sadly.
"What?" I asked, confused. She and Jasper were so head over heels for each other.
"Yep. This was several years ago now, right after we'd graduated. I was so very wicked to him, to my parents, to anyone who crossed my path. And finally he had enough and told me that, while he loved me with all of his heart, I wasn't the girl I had been when he first asked me. And he broke it off," she said.
"Wow. I had...no idea," I said.
"It was so hard, but also the best thing he's ever done for me. It was the dose of reality I needed. I spent days in my room, crying, hopelessly wondering what I could do to get him back. And then I realized that I wasn't planning a dream wedding for both of us. I had been planning it all for me, without considering his thoughts. I was mean, I was demanding, and I was truly awful," she said.
"Oh, Alice, I can't even imagine that," I shook my head.
"Oh, imagine it. Just ask Edward. He was in high school, and his life was hard enough. I didn't help it at all.
"Anyway, I spent a few months reevaluating myself and realizing that who I had become was not me. I worked to get back to my old self, and I realized quickly that I had lost my dream man for a wedding that I thought was my dream.
I sold my dress and gave the money for it and the deposit back to my parents, and then I put all of my energy into seeking forgiveness from them. They assured me it was okay, but I felt awful," she frowned.
"Alice, you were being so hard on yourself. You couldn't have been that bad," I insisted.
"Bella, I was horrid. I hated myself. I ran off two photographers and three bakeries. And I heard that our wedding planner went into early retirement because of me."
She was describing an Alice I couldn't even fathom.
"But anyway, after about six months, I worked up the courage to go to Jasper. I apologized to him, and we basically started over. He forgave me, of course, because he's incredible. We dated and then he proposed again, and two weeks later we had a small, amazing wedding on the beach of Hilton Head," she smiled.
"Alice, I had no idea that you and Jasper went through that."
"Yeah, well, it wasn't my shining moment, but it certainly made me a better woman. I will always be grateful to Jasper for standing up to me. If he hadn't and we'd gone through with the wedding as planned, I don't know that we'd have made it. He would have resented me for so much."
"Well, I'm glad things worked out. I can't imagine you two without each other," I said.
"Me neither. And my parents insisted that since we ended up having such a small wedding, they'd help us out with the restaurant. We'd already opened on our own, but my parents helped us with the renovations and stuff. I'm so thankful for them, too," she smiled.
"Alright girls, what do we think?" Rose asked, finally stepping from the fitting room in what had to have been the most incredible dress I had even seen.
"Wow," Alice and I breathed together.
Rose stepped out in a tight fitting halter dress, cut mermaid style. The bodice was a sweetheart neckline, covered in rhinestones, cut low. The dress hugged her hourglass curves and the skirt, which started just above her knees, fanned out in ruffles.
"It's perfect," I told her, my eyes welling up with tears at the sight of my gorgeous best friend.
"It really is stunning," Alice said beside me. And Rose, who'd been afraid to let herself dream of this moment before, finally let down her guard and lived in the moment. This was her moment. And in it, she absolutely glowed.
I gasped awake, feeling Edward tighten his hold on me.
"Bella? Sweetheart, are you okay?" He asked gently.
"Yeah," I breathed, feeling tears slip out of the corners of my eyes. "It was just a bad dream," I said, reaching to wipe away the wetness.
Edward just pulled me closer, my back spooned against him.
"I've got you, my love," he whispered.
"Did I wake you?" I asked, staring at my closed bedroom door, feeling his hand rub soothing circles into my side.
"No, I was just laying here," he said quietly.
"Oh," I sniffled, my nose stuffed from the teary wake up.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Edward asked.
I just shrugged. There had been several components of the dream, but the last had been the worst.
"It was just...really sad," I mumbled.
"Dreams have a way of feeling so real. I hate those kind, that you can't shake even when you know they didn't really happen," Edward said.
"Yeah. It involved you. Us."
"Oh?" Edward asked.
"I mean, I think I dreamed a lot of stuff but I only really remember the last of it. I dreamt that I walked in to my classroom and you were there, sitting on my desk. Kate was..." I stopped, taking a big breath before continuing. "Kate was there, standing between your legs while you held her and kissed her."
Edward started to speak, but I kept explaining what had made it worse.
"Before I could say anything, the dream morphed and I was suddenly in a hospital bed. There was blood everywhere, and when the doctor came in, she told me I had a miscarriage. I started crying in the dream, and I guess I woke up crying," I finished. My tears were stronger, my sobbing louder. "I'm sorry," I mumbled.
"Bella, shhh. Shhh, baby. You don't need to be sorry for a dream. I know it wasn't something you wanted to dream. And I know you know this, but for assurances, I will tell you that you truly have nothing to worry about. Kate and I broke up a long time ago. Yes, I loved her. She was-is-a wonderful person. She's beautiful and smart and made me happy. But she wasn't who would always make me happy. She deserved someone who could make her feel okay with herself. She didn't need someone shy and insecure. And I deserved the same," Edward explained.
"And when I saw her the other night? I felt happiness, not because I'd missed seeing her, but because I'd never seen her that happy. She looked so much more at ease with herself, and she looked as in love with Alistair as I know that I am with you," he said, never letting his hold on me loosen.
"You, Isabella Swan, are the love of my life. You are my entire world, and I'm grateful every day that you've given me the chance to love you. I promise I will never take that for granted."
"Oh, Edward," I breathed, rolling over to face him. He clutched my face in his hands as we laid side by side, pulling my face to his to softly place his lips against mine.
Our kisses grew more intense, fueled by a shared need to show each other the depths of our love.
I moaned when Edward's leg slid up between mine, rubbing against me.
"Edward...please," I whimpered.
His hand slid beneath the covers and pulled at the waist of my sleep pants, his hand slipping into my underwear and finding me warm and ready for him. His fingers explored while his mouth never left mine.
My hands moved to rub up and down his bare back as I moaned through his finger's gentle ministrations.
My shirt was riding up my stomach a bit, so he bent and caught the hem with his teeth, pulling it up and over my bare chest.
"Oh god," I whimpered as his mouth found my tender peaks.
His tongue swirled in time with his fingers, his warm chest pressed into my side, his own arousal hard against my leg.
"Oh," I breathed heavily, feeling myself come undone beneath him, my legs quivering as he slowed his fingers down to let me ride out my ecstasy.
Wordlessly, I reached both hands to his pants and tugged at them. He lifted his hips to pull them off the rest of the way, before helping me out of my own clothing.
I pushed his shoulder gently so that he was on his back, then leaned up on my knees and swung my right leg over him.
"I've never...like this," he said, his eyes sparkling in the dark, excitement and lust radiating in his soft smile.
I took that as an invitation to continue, easing myself gently over him, connecting our bodies in a careful, slow motion that made us both groan.
I moved over him, bracing my hands on his chest as I pulled myself up and down. I leaned forward, the rest of me making contact with his softness and rubbing me in the most perfect way.
The room was filled only with the sound of our panting and the soft creak of the bed with each rise and fall of my body against his.
"Bella...baby," he moaned, his hands reaching up to cup my breasts, his thumbs stroking over me softly.
He leaned himself up and pulled me to him so that our lips connected, our kisses frenzied and rough as we made love in the most passionate way we ever had.
"Yes, oh yes," I mumbled against his lips as he thrust his own hips up to meet me each time I came down. He was so deep, so connected to me. His hands moved to my cheeks, cupping my face as he wiped away the drying tears from under my eyes.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered, never breaking the rhythm.
I watched as his perfect eyes closed, his release near. Mine wasn't far behind his as I continued to ride him.
His hips thrust up one last time and stilled in the air, as I felt him release into me.
"Bella," he moaned, his breathing all but stopping as he came. The heat, the pumping of his hardness, my name on his lips, was all I needed to fall with him, my legs shaking for the second time that night.
We both sighed as Edward relaxed against the bed, pulling me to him and wrapping his hard, warm arms around my bare back, our naked chests pressed tightly together.
He gently kissed my hair, my forehead, my nose, each cheek and then my lips.
"You are my entire world," he whispered.
"I love you, Edward. More than anything," I said softly.
"And I love you more than that," he replied, before cradling me in his arms and protecting me the rest of the night with just the warmth of his flesh and his fiery touch.