A/N: I sort of promised an early update, consider this a bonus, if you will.

Time for a bit of change of pace, kiddies...a few of you are wondering the ages of Tracy and her daughter, Amy. I've hesitated revealing them for fear of you rejecting it as utter nonsense. In truth, I haven't set an actual age, when I really began to think about it. This story is my fantasy, so perhaps it is my own age deep in my sub-conscious. What is my age? I would have to kill you, if I revealed it...

Let's just say, old enough...

...and yeah, SM owns the world of Twilight.

.O.O.O.

"It doesn't matter, Amy. Now what I need you to do is when you get home, give notice to the landlord, hire movers to pack all my belongings, and put everything into storage. Except for the clothes. I'll talk to your grandmother and arrange to live with her for a while. And please don't try to talk me out of this. Promise me you'll do it," I begged her.

She agreed, but not without voicing more opinions about how wrong she thought I had it.

When my mom came, we spent the remainder of the visit watching TV, eating a take-out meal and chatting about everything - but him. My mom wanted to go on a sightseeing trip the following day. Amy didn't really want to, but agreed so that she didn't have to go all alone.

Edward didn't return that night. The flowers kept arriving and the nurse would take the card out and let me read it every time.

"I love you with all my heart, E."

My insides ached so badly now that it felt like a blender had chopped them to tiny pieces.

My mom and Amy stayed for 5 days, enjoying their time. They went to every tourist destination with a car that Edward had arranged for them.

I'm surprised they managed to squeeze visiting me into their schedule. But I was glad - somebody should be having fun around here.

After they went home, I continued to watch inane TV shows and sleeping.

All the bones were now healing correctly so there was no need for any more readjusting procedures. My brain swelling had healed, so that they took the brace off my neck. It felt so good to move my head around, although no quick movements yet were possible.

Edward had not come to see me for the duration of my mom's visit. That was good. Maybe he'd thought about the whole thing and realized his colossal mistake.

I couldn't wait to talk to the doctor to ask when I'd be able to travel home. Surely now that my brain was seriously on the mend, I'd be able to somehow manage being wheeled onto an airplane.

I had to do this fast as possible as soon as I got the all clear. I arranged for Amy to buy an airplane ticket. She was still objecting to the plan, but was resigned to helping her mother.

Then the best news came, three days later, when the doctor said that the casts on my arms were ready to be taken off. I still had to get around in a wheelchair, though, due to the weakess in my arms, and not being able to support myself in crutches.

There was some sensation in my fingers now, although moving the arms was not happening yet as much as I'd have like them to. He said there wasn't a sure way to be able to tell if and when full movement would return. I'd just have to wait.

Well, at least I looked a little less hideous, from the waist up.

He said I was ok to travel, anytime. Anytime? That time had to be right now. I had not heard from Edward, but assumed he was engrossed in his work. A part of me wondered why I hadn't heard anything, but I couldn't dwell on that. My mind was set on executing my departure.

I asked for a volunteer to make a phone call to my daughter.

"Time is now!" is all I had to say to Amy and she'd take it from there. She'd text me with flight details.

Then I arranged for a transport van to take me to the airport as soon as she sent me the reply text.

I was still in the clear.

Edward hadn't come back yet, but with each passing second I began to panic a fraction more.

I had begged the doctor and staff to not tell him that I was leaving, until after my plane had taken off.

What I hadn't thought of was how I was going to get from the front doors to the gate and beyond.

How stupid was I?

The only thing I could think of to try was to call the airline and see if they could have an escort to meet me at the departure entrance doors. They said they could do that, no problem.

I was nervously awaiting the taxi by the front doors. It finally arrived. Great.

Going by myself was a challenge, though.

At the gate, they were concerned that I wasn't physically fit to travel, but I had a doctor's letter, proving it was all right.

xxxx

The flight was uneventful. The usual drinks, meal to purchase, movie. I couldn't wait to finally land at Toronto Pearson International Airport.

My thoughts flew back to my previous flight with Edward, of course, and it was gut-wrenching. I ached for him, which added to the physical aching. It was a rough ride. I kept the pain medication to a mininum so I wouldn't be totally out of it during the whole flight. I wanted to be in control, now that I finally had a modicum of it.

My daughter, Amy, was there to greet me. She drove me to my mom's, who had the spare room ready for me. It was good that she was in a condo now, instead of the house - no stairs.

"Thanks, mom, for letting me stay with you. I hope I won't be any trouble."

"Don't worry dear, I won't mind looking after you at all. How else do you think you're going to get around and do stuff, like eat?"

My mom was such a mom. I still felt awkward staying with her. I knew it would upset her routine.

And I knew she would voice her opinion on my decisions soon enough. That's just what moms are supposed to do, aren't they?

Amy said she would come often to help as much as she could. At least that would give my mom a break from caretaking and nagging.

I was exhausted from my challenging journey, so I excused myself to my room. I had to ask for some water with a straw to have by the bed and help in going to the bathroom. It was embarrassing, but she'd worked with seniors in the past and knew the routine. She wasn't fazed by any of it.

The days ran into weeks and weeks into months. No contact with him. Good...for him. Well, that was essentially due to the fact that I had turned off my cell phone - for good. I didn't even want to know if he had tried to make contact, whether by text or call. I hid it in my luggage which was being stored in a locker at a remote location. I simply could not even get it if I wanted to, and I didn't. Or so I told myself.

I thought I had gotten really very good at halting my thoughts whenever they would stray toward any of him. I could physically feel my heart fracture a little bit more with each infraction. The pain was not something I wanted to experience and my mind had tried to develop a defense mechanism to save itself.

It was all I could do to not spend my spare time - which I had an abundance of - searching the Internet for postings, pictures, videos…anything that Edward Cullen was mentioned in.

I was obsessed. So much for my defense mechanism. I just couldn't help myself. I was hopeless.

But I knew it had to be my secret to keep.

I couldn't let anyone, not even my mom, know that I was still emotionally tied to him. I'm not sure if I succeeded in fooling anybody, though. I couldn't quite muster up enough enthusiasm for anything.

After a while my mom and Amy stopped trying to coax me out of my funk. I was so relieved to be finally left alone to wallow in my misery. I sequestered myself in my little room and spent an inordinate amount of time letting the tears soak my pillow at night.

I didn't know how I was going to continue living without him. I had to settle for my dreams. He was all I could think about.

Maybe that would change with time, but so far the feelings I had were just as intense as when I had been physically with him.

At times it felt like it had all been a dream, a fantasy.

Maybe I could convince my brain of that and then I could somehow manage to distract myself from thinking…of him. Thinking about his hands caressing every part of me. His fingers trailing rivers of fire along my naked skin. His lips...oh, his lips...

I was sure that he'd forgotten about me by this time and started living the life he should have in the first place, if we hadn't met.

Through some entertainment news reports, I'd read about him being linked to his co-star in the new film that was being released the next week. That was who I remembered thinking would probably be good for him. The speed demon.

I was happy for him. Truly.

xxxxxx

I was able to walk slowly now and I was looking forward to a night out with my sisters. They had been begging me to go out for the last few weeks, and I finally relented. They were picking me up in the afternoon so that we could make the early show in downtown Toronto.

I actually started to feel like I wanted to go, the closer the time came to leave. We were having an enjoyable ride with good conversation and arrived at the Eaton Center theater in plenty of time for the start of the film. We got the good seats on the floor level, which helped me, not having to negotiate stairs.

I hadn't really paid attention to what movie we were seeing and realized a bit late that it was Edward Cullen's newest movie. Crap.

I didn't know what to do.

My sisters did not know all the details of my misadventure in Vancouver. Didn't think I would ever fill them in on that particular part of my love life. They'd probably laugh out loud.

It was pure torture, but I somehow made it through the movie. I needed to close my eyes whenever a full screen shot of his face was on. It was way too painful. My heart yearned for him as much as it ever had. No change in those feelings yet.

After the movie we decided that we were too full of popcorn to go to dinner and decided to go get coffee and tea at the nearest café.

It was a Starbucks in the same shopping complex. It was the closest one to the theater and I could manage the short walk.

As we entered, I grabbed one of the comfy chairs near the entrance and held the other 2 for my sisters.

They ordered for me, thank goodness. You know what an ordeal that always was. I leaned my head back in the chair and briefly closed my eyes to relax. I felt one of my sisters come sit by my side and touch my knee.

"Oh, this is so relaxing. Don't you love that music they're playing?"

I was so tired I hadn't even opened my eyes. I was annoyed that my legs were aching from such a short walk. This felt so nice to sit down. And then I felt a hand on top of mine.

Why?

As I finally opened my eyes and looked to the other chair I couldn't understand what I was seeing.

Someone familiar. It just didn't register.

Someone?

Edward.

~o~o~O~o~o~

Okay, the Drill, bb's...