Hello my lovely readers. Quick update before I have to get back to work.

Read on for chapter 21, and enjoy! Usual disclaimer applies.

Crash and Burn

Chapter 21: Peaceful Slumber

For a long time, it was quiet inside of my mind. I couldn't remember the last time it had been this silent. It scared me. I had just shut down, turning everything off, in favor of solitude. At least this emptiness was better than the evil inside of me.

However, I had known this wouldn't last long. Before my eyes, the darkness began taking shape. Apparently Chaos wasn't ready to let me go so easily. I hated the lies of this place, the definite deception. This time I had to be sure not to fall for it…because it wasn't real, none of it was.

I moaned internally as the room formed around me, becoming a dark version of my own. Frantically I scrambled to my feet, waiting for Chaos's next imposter to show himself, to goad me with all I desired. But this- Diamond's impersonation had made the Mamoru fraud count to two- and third time's the charm. There was no way in hell that I was going to fall for it this time.

So when I saw Mamoru's pale form standing in the corner, glaring at me, I scowled, "Get out"

He laughed coldly, "Yeah, how possible you make that"

I turned away from him, "You're not going to trick me again. I've had enough"

Chaos's hoax sneered, "I hardly think you're the victim here, you evil snake"

Pissed, I spun to face him, "I am not evil" I said through gritted teeth, "I refuse to be what you think of me. I may have slipped…but that does not make me evil"

The man remained in the corner, glaring at me angrily, completely in gray, "One slip?" he said, almost laughing, "I think you should learn how to count"

"I am not evil" I repeated again angrily, "You're the only one who's-"

Before I could finish my insult, he had stridden forward, enough to be clearly in my line of sight. I gasped at the horrible shape he was in. His torso had series of cuts along it, his face was badly bruised, and he was shivering in cold. I could also vaguely see burns creeping along his back.

The lie threatened to take me in again.

"Leave" he spat, grabbing my wrists, shaking me threateningly, "You've done enough!"

I yanked my arms away from him, "Don't you dare touch me"

He glared for a few seconds before turning around and walking to the bed. He began murmuring to himself. I could now see the burns that marred his flesh.

"Oh, so this is a guilt thing" I said in realization, "Trying to goad me into attacking him again, to keep turning me evil, well guess what, I already know it's you, this is not going to work"

The hoax looked back at me, bewildered rage in his eyes, "Guilt you? What the hell are you talking about? Just get out- or, inflict whatever, leave out all the mindless small talk"

I almost laughed, "What are you playing at? You've obviously lost your edge, this doesn't even make sense"

He jammed his eyes shut, muttering quickly to himself, "She's not there-never-just get out, go away"

"Oh, cut the crap!" I snarled, "Do you really think I'm going to fall for these mind games again? Just show me your true self and we can talk like normal evil against Light-"

Words had been pushed aside as he strode quickly to me, glaring at me angrily, "You want me to show you my true self? You wouldn't survive if I showed you my true self"

"Let me have it" I goaded, "Come on,"

"Show me your true self first" he said, baring his teeth, "So all facades are past"

I raised my eyebrows at him, "This is my true self"

He was shaking, his anger emanating from him and I took another step closer to him, "Come on, Chaos. Show me what you got"

"Oh, I will Torii" he spat; "Only I won't hide behind my powers like you do" He slammed me against the wall.

A stab of understanding went through me as I hung from his arm, "What did you call me?"

"What, you think I won't recognize you even if you cower behind Usako's form?" he snarled, "Do you actually believe I am that stupid?"

My eyes widened.

No. It-it was a trick.

"I told you!" I said loudly, "I'm not falling for that again! Just because you're wearing his face doesn't mean I won't hurt it" I slammed my foot through his chest and he went flying backwards.

He ran at me again, "Tell me, Diamond, what happens if you die on this plane?" His hands pushed mine away easily, going straight for my throat, "It doesn't matter; I'll enjoy it either way!"

As my eyes looked into his, I saw a flicker of blue. His hands dropped away, "Stop looking at me like that!" he yelled, kicking me away from him, "Stop looking at me like her!"

"…Mamoru?" I asked quietly

No. It wasn't him. This was a trick.

He kicked me again, "Stop trying to make me believe it's her" he spat, "It's never her!"

His hands forced their way to my throat again, "I'm not going to fall for that again" he snarled, "You're going to die here" his hands began constricting.

My eyes gazed into his. Maybe it was better that the last thing I saw was Mamoru's eyes, even if they possibly weren't his…

Suddenly light flared out from me, blasting him away from me, leaving me gasping for air.

His eyes were wide as he looked at me, "Your power" he whispered, "It's white…gold even…not black…you're not-"

"I'm not Diamond" I finished,

"Then…Usako?" he asked with such hope in his voice that tears blinked from my eyes.

I didn't want to believe it so easily. But…it was so real.

No, Usagi, don't you dare fall for it again! Not for the third time!

But- his confusion, his wounds, his assumption that I was Diamond…his attempt to kill me…it was all too…real.

He approached me slowly, "Usako," he breathed, "It is you…I can feel you now" he whispered so quietly. Then a look of horror marred his face, "Oh god, I just tried to – I tried to kill you!"

"Shh" I breathed, "You didn't know…it's okay"

"But-"

"I was ready to do the same thing," I whispered

He stopped, breathing heavily. Then suddenly he seized me to him, his arms surrounding me, pulling me into a deep embrace. I returned it; almost willing to believe that it was the man I loved holding me.

Then I pulled away, frowning apologetically.

"Usako…" he begged, "It's you…I need to be holding you…please don't-"

"Mamoru," I said softly, cutting off his begs, "I can't risk- I don't know if you're…I just can't…I'm so sorry"

Comprehension dawned on his face, "You've been lied to also?"

I nodded sadly, my hands holding my body.

"I agree" he said softly, "Maybe it's best if we don't…"

I nodded.

Slowly I moved closer to him, knowing that he wouldn't…I carefully sat down on the edge of my bed and he sat beside me.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, "I felt…you were slipping again…I thought maybe- he didn't try to kill you again, did he?"

I looked away, ashamed, "No"

"What happened?"

I sighed, "As I mentioned before…I had a slip, I went…Darth Usagi for a little bit…they have cookies"

He smiled slightly, "Jay would love the dark humor…" he waved it away, "But you came back, that's what matters…with as much powers as yours, mistakes are sure to happen"

"I almost killed him" I whispered, "I was so ready to shove the glass through him…"

"But you didn't" he breathed

"But I was going to" I stressed, "That's the point. I was ready"

"Is there something wrong with killing him?" he asked softly

"If I kill him…the darkness wins…again, and it wins me too" I whispered, "We lose"

"Why would it win you?" he asked confusedly, "You're destroying evil, it would be good-"

I groaned; I had forgotten that he didn't know about the fight. The fight between Light and Dark, the one on the outside…and the one within my own soul.

"Mamoru…" I said softly, "There's much bigger things going on here than just us…this is a fight between Light and Dark…well, fights anyway, one between me and Diamond and the other…the other within myself"

"Within yourself?" he repeated hollowly, "But you're Light"

I turned away from him, "Turns out that I'm not as Light as I seem…"

"What?"

"I'm the daughter…of The Corruptor," I whispered, "Remember who I kept calling you before…he's here and trying to corrupt me…but turns out that it's because I'm his daughter…that's why I've been so powerful, I'm the daughter of Light and Dark"

"Whoa" he said disbelievingly, "Didn't expect that"

I smiled ever so slightly, "Tell me about it"

He stared away from me, deep in thought.

"It's basically Good vs. Evil, but since I have both within me…and then with Diamond, if I kill him I succumb to the darkness within me, and Dark wins both battles…basically, Light is screwed"

"It's a paradox" he breathed, "You can't kill him, but he can kill you, it's an evil little paradox"

I nodded forlornly.

"But how…how is he your father?" Mamoru asked slowly

"He…sort of tricked Queen Selenity…but fell in love with her along the way…he was the one who caused all those wars back then, he's the evil in the world"

"That's…" Mamoru started, unable to finish his statement

"Crazy?"

"We'll make it through" he smiled supportively.

"What about you?" I asked quickly, wanting to change the topic, "You don't look so good" I touched a bruise that was forming on the side of his face gingerly.

He flinched slightly, but didn't pull away, "I…" he mumbled, "I won't bore you with the details"

"Bore away" I insisted, "What did he do to you?"

"I…nothing" he whispered

I smiled slightly, "Really, Mamoru, do you expect me to believe that?"

He shrugged, "Maybe"

"Here," I said, an idea striking me, I took his hand, "I have another idea, do you trust me?"

Without a moment's hesitation, "With my life"

I smiled, "Alright, this will be the first time I actually want to do this…"

I closed my eyes, focusing my energy on the light hand that rested on mine. I opened my eyes, and focused them on his.

Blue flashed in front of me and I felt the familiar tug as I fell into them.

--

I gulped, striding into the room, I pretended to seem confident, but inside I was ready to cower.

My eyes scanned the people in front of me…they seemed so small…why was I so afraid of them?

Then my eyes met blue.

She's beautiful.

I smiled instinctively, and when she smiled back, I felt something scorch through me.

What was that?

My eyes remained on hers, and I saw a hint of something within her, something important…that she was the most important thing ever…

Gold hair glinted in the moonlight. She was calling for my help…I had to do all I could…

I felt power scorch through me and in front of my eyes I saw a small wiry girl struggling in the hands of a strangely dressed man, I shot out my powers, which manifested itself into a rose and he dropped her.

What am I?

Who am I?

The surrounding area shifted to show a blue eyed, golden haired goddess sitting in front of me. I saw a flicker of a bruise and so many emotions rushed through me.

Who did that!?

She brushed it off, but I knew…I knew that something was wrong.

The emotions remained and I did the most selfish thing I could do. I wanted to remain by her side. I wanted to protect her. I wanted her to love me like I loved her.

I finally fulfilled the dream of kissing this sweet, innocent, fiery woman who had stolen my heart.

…My God. She's…kissing me back.

It was true. Her lips moved against mine in a longing, forceful way that urged me to increase my timid gentleness to a level that was a little closer to the astounding passion I felt. One hand stayed cupping her face while the other slid to her waist, drawing her closer to me – and then her arm hooked around my neck, dragging my head down to meet her lips with more certainty, and she gasped breathlessly, sighing my name…

I fell in love with her all over again –

I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I had friends and most of all, I had this woman who made me feel as if life was complete.

But then it was over.

"You're imagining things, I wanted to say, things aren't working out between us, so I guess we're going to break up"

These words caused my heart to break,

Life. Love. Gone.

I was suddenly drawn away-

I watched the fire consume the home that I had lived in all my life. Father had dropped me outside and then ran back inside screaming, "May!"

That was what Father always called Mother.

I screamed as I saw the rooms' collapse within themselves and the fire crackled and smoke billowed around me.

I tried to run in after them but hands surrounded me, effectively stopping my struggles. As I turned around I caught the eye of a young boy who was sneering and I felt hatred sear through me.

"Your parents died last night" the kindly looking Policeman said to me.

I didn't believe him, and kept playing with the toy in front of me.

"Mamoru?"

"You're lying"

"I'm not, son, they're gone" he whispered, picking me up in his arms

I struggled in his arms. He was lying! They couldn't be gone!

He held me as I struggled and my energy to fight left me.

"I'm so sorry, Mamoru" he whispered

My life was over. What was going to happen to me now? My parents were gone, the people I had loved most in the world- they were dead.

Shooting pains in my heart caused me to cry as hard as I could.

She held me within her arms and it felt like nothing bad had ever happened to me. Our lips met in ecstasy and I couldn't help feel as if this was the happiest moment in my young life-

- Abruptly, that pleasant memory had vanished into darkness. Instead, I found myself trapped inside a terrible place where the surroundings changed constantly, and all color had been stripped from the world… It was cold and lonely and it made my heart ache to think of the hardships that were going on beyond the these infuriatingly thin dimensional walls that I could not touch nor tear.

I chatted with myself in an almost conversational way. My mind was in fragments. I laughed, before quickly rising in my anger and throwing things – but they would return to their rightful place in a mere flicker. Then I'd remain quiet for days at a time, staring blankly at the wall as if waiting for a face to emerge from the plaster and speak words to me. Catching sounds of conversations kept me alive, her voice kept me glued to the world.

Sanity and I were not acquaintances. This prison had seen to that.

So when I suddenly felt soft lips seducing my neck, I thought – and hoped – that I'd finally gone blissfully mad.

I shuddered in pleasure as she slid around from behind me, coming to stand before me with intensity that burnt holes into my eyes. She drew me closer and kissed me, pressing her body against me in ways that were both improper and desirous. I frowned against her lips, trying to pull away.

"It's not you…" I moaned.

"Touch me…" she whispered

I did…

"No, not there," she implored, staring at me. She adjusted my hand. "Here…"

I jerked away, glaring at her.

It's not Usagi!

"Get out!" I spat, making as much distance as I could away from the imposter with Usako's face. He'd sent another illusion- while he watched from afar, trying to push me into madness again, "Get the hell out of here, Torii!"

She came at me once again, her hands like minxes. Her body was pressed against mine seductively, she caught my ear in her teeth and breathed quietly the things she wanted me to do to her. I shuddered at the thought- even if she had been real…I'd never…

She suddenly tore away from me and despite my revulsion of what she had been saying, I missed her.

She was scowling down at me, "You don't have any idea how to please me, do you?"

I lost myself in the lie once more, "Usagi, you know we can't…it's not right"

She scoffed at me, "And you wonder why I go to him"

I froze.

Him?

"What?"

She backed away from me and straight into the suddenly emerging hands of Diamond Torii.

Turning away from me with a defiant look, she moved into him and allowed him to kiss her throat as she gasped sharply. I looked away, shaking. She moaned his name loudly – my gaze accidentally flickered back, and I saw his hands grasping over her clothes at her breasts. Her head lolled back as his mouth trailed across her collarbone.

"Diamond…" she sighed luxuriously

Stop…

I screwed up my eyes and covered my ears. A moment later, I felt them both collapse on the bed beside me, causing me to rocket over to the corner of the room, sliding to the floor in an attempt to disarm my sensory organs. I didn't want to know…I didn't want to hear, to see, to know this lie... I knew it wasn't real, but it killed me. Because he was able to do this to her anyway. What if there…what if there was even a moment where she loved it? Where she wanted him over me? Where she…wanted him to hurt her like that?

I looked up again, hoping it would be over, that she would be gone – but saw to my complete horror that he'd crawled over her and was working her skirt up, his hand sliding swiftly up her bare thigh. She moaned again, arching her back against the mattress as she closed her eyes desperately. He chuckled. 'I'm almost there…' he promised her.

I tried to turn away but it was as if there was a force that was forcing my eyes to remain on the two figures on the bed.

I caught a glance that Diamond threw at me and I knew that he was doing it. I growled in anger but the sound was drowned in a moan that…

LOOK AWAY!

And a moment later, he sank between her legs, pressing her thoroughly against him. She gasped and grabbed his hair, his name on her lips. She writhed beneath him, breathing hard. And he laughed as he glanced over at me, noting my utter misery…

He knelt back, dragging her form with him and molded it against his body. Her legs clung around him, and she was grinding against him slowly, panting even harder. I couldn't tear my eyes away. The misery was so potent, so intense… She too turned her face to watch me as she…

"Stop it…" I whispered.

They both grinned wickedly at me. There was a terrible, subtle violence as to how they held each other – it made me tense all over. I shook my head sadly as she panted his name over and over again…

He looked away from me, jerking her flush against him as he bit into her neck. She screamed in ecstasy, her fingers digging into his shoulders. My head struck the wall dully; repeatedly. I wanted to knock the image out of my head, even if it took all night until the repetitive thudding against my head let me escape this. I felt a trickle of blood run down my neck from my skull. I kept thudding, insane with misery…

Make it stop…

I was finally able to look away and I kept thudding my head as hard as I could against the wall, trying to erase the image. It didn't stop the sound of their passions, though. I could hear every word, every gasp, every pant, every sigh, every sharp draw of breath, every whisper…

"He still wants me," she laughed coldly. "Even now…even though you're hurting me, Diamond…he wants it to be him doing this to me."

"No…" I groaned.

"Only you can touch me," she went on, stopping momentarily as she cried in release – but they still didn't stop. "O-only you can feel me surround you…only you can love me like this…"

"And you love me," Torii growled in victory.

"Oh, yes…"

My eyes jammed closed in pain.

Usagi…no…

"Hurt me," she begged him. "I want you to hurt me…"

He did. I heard her scream shrilly as he grunted in exertion. My masochistic, perverse eyes flickered back over miserably – she was pinned against the bed, her wrists above her head and her face creased in agony. And then…despite the physical torment she was suffering, she smiled horribly against the pain. "I love it…" she breathed, "I love the darkness…"

"You belong to me," Torii promised her, jolting suddenly in a harsh way, and she screamed again.

"Yours…" she gasped, shaking. Fear was in her voice, but it didn't come close to overpowering the arousal. "I'm yours…"

Another train of blood fell against my shoulder as I thudded harder than before.

And then, they were gone.

I stood up quickly, knowing that I wasn't alone. I almost pitched forward, my vision swimming violently, I touched the back of it gingerly, wincing as I hit the blood.

And only a second later I was thrown against the opposite wall, twitching as my head hit the wall again. Before I was able to fall to the floor, I was slammed straight and a knife slashed across my cheek. I opened my eyes weakly, finding Diamond standing over me.

"This is quite therapeutic" he said lightly, "Whenever I need to hurt her, I can just come up here and beat the shit out of you and still get the same satisfaction"

The blade swiped down my arms and I hissed in pain.

"Actually," he went on, "Not the same satisfaction. At least Usagi tries to fight back…unlike you. God, Chiba. I knew you were a woman, but this is just embarrassing"

More cuts spread over my skin, and I tried to struggle to my feet. But he kicked me savagely so I fell right back down.

"The thing I like about this place" he said conversationally, "Is that your powers are null and void in here-"

His knuckles hit my forehead and I could barely see through the blood.

"Plus, your wounds, the ones you've accumulated over time, won't heal here, since living things aren't supposed to be here"

A tongue of fire appeared in his hand, and I shot away from him, breathing hard. It did nothing however, as the second I turned my back on him, the fire was pressed against my back. I screamed in agony, the fire consuming my back.

I shoved him away.

He looked over at me after he landed against the side of the bed, seeming impressed, "See, that wasn't so hard was it?" he said, laughing, he got to his feet, "Pain does wonders, doesn't it?"

"I…" I attempted to speak but my voice went out in pain

He will pay

He raised his eyebrows, his dark violet eyes regarding me carefully, "What, Chiba?"

"I will kill you" I groaned as I got up.

He smiled, a smirk, raising the knife, ready to strike but he suddenly froze. His head turned towards the door that I could never open, eyes wide.

"Well, what do you know" he said in surprise, "Usagi's here"

"Liar" I hissed

"No, really" he chuckled, I could see the smirk growing, "I'm off to get all I can out of that, then" he said as he turned back to the door.

"No!" I cried, managing to run at him, "No, it's not over- get back!"

I needed to retaliate. He couldn't get away with this. With hurting my Usagi. I needed to do whatever I could to protect her. Even while I was trapped here, the least I could do was send him back wounded.

"Get back" I snarled at him, managing to tackle him

He kicked me off of him, back towards the bed, "Don't worry, Mamoru, I'll be back the next time your bratty girlfriend pisses me off"

"TORII!" I yelled at him, struggling to my feet on shaking knees. My fists were balled in fury, ready to fight the battle that I would lose in seconds. But I had to try. For her.

And then – I heard her cry my name.

"Mamoru" she cried and my heart seized.

He hadn't been lying. She's here- get to her!

But as I ran at the door, I flew backwards as he kicked me back and I saw a glimmer of gold hair before both of them disappeared outside.

"NO! USAKO!" I cried, running at the door again, but it slammed shut and as hard as I pulled it wouldn't budge.

I collapsed against it, the pain of the last few minutes finally reaching me. I could hear screams and yells coming from beyond the door but I couldn't make them out. Sobs reached me and I joined in.

But then the warmest sensation washed over me as I realized she was directly outside.

She's still here…still with me…I haven't lost her.

I closed my eyes in sad contentment and slid into a peaceful slumber, one where everything was happy and I was within the arms of the one I loved more than life itself.

--

With a jerk I fell out of Mamoru's mind. Warmth filled me as I looked back into his gray eyes.

I cringed as I remembered the horrible things Diamond had put him through.

"Oh, Mamoru" I breathed, running my hand through his hair, "I'm so sorry"

He flinched under my touch again and I hurriedly withdrew my hand, a few spots of sparkling blood on my fingers and felt very ill at the idea that none of his wounds would get better here.

He looked so ashen, compared to his surroundings, the gray was affecting him so much, "I know it's all lies" he whispered, "But the misery still comes…"

A tear trickled down my face as I moved closer to him. I held him carefully, making sure not to hit any of his wounds, my lips rested softly on his neck, kissing him comfortingly. I felt his hands tighten around me as he felt my cold tear trickle down his skin, "Don't cry," he begged softly, "Please, Usako, I can't bear…"

"I'm sorry" I said between my sobs, "But you're so hurt, and this is all so bleak"

He brought me away from his throat, cupping my face tenderly, "Usagi, I'll be fine, I will heal. Don't waste any of your energy worrying for me," he kissed my tears away kindly, "I love you, Usako"

"But-"

He interjected, "Shh," he whispered, "How about we just lie down?"

I curled up against him, half off the bed, but he lifted me gently, carrying me to the head of the bed.

"Mamoru, don't!" I cried, nearly jumping from his hands, "You're hurt!"

He rolled his eyes, "Really, Usako, stop fretting over me"

We lay down and he wrapped his hands around me tightly, our chests rising in synchrony. My heart was exhausted and my eyes kept brimming over with tears.

"I hate this" I said against his neck. He played absently with my hair, "I don't want to go back…I'll miss you too much. And I'm just tired, I hate this so much. I hate pretending that I'm strong, when I'm not, without you, I'm nothing-"

"Usagi" he said sternly, "You are not nothing. You are strong enough to do this. And you're never alone, Usako, we're with you, always. I'm with you"

"I can't-"

"Yes, you can"

"Not without-"

"You can do this, I believe in you, Usagi"

"I don't-"

He shushed me lovingly, "Rest, love," he tightened his arms around me, his breath calmingly rustling my hair. I sighed as calm rose around me, and peace roused me, "I'll save you. I'll get you out of here"

"And then I'll save you" he breathed back

"Yea…" I whispered tenderly

His voice was quiet and even, showing no signs of the insanity that had been ever present before, he was grounded with me here, "But for now, just rest with me…a peaceful slumber"

--C&B--

Enjoyed the slightly relaxing chapter? We finally learn about Mamoru's struggles, after so long of nothing from him.

But yea, so, Diamond was torturing the crap out of him, both physically and emotionally, he evil enough?

Next chapter should be up soon, not too many more to go and i'm getting anxious about the ending. I hope it lives up to the story I've made.

Don't forget to review!! :)