Daylight

Chapter 21

Pairing: Jane/Maura
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me.

Maura woke up when she felt the mattress shift and the blankets move. Her first thought was that it was Jane, who Maura had learned was a restless and active sleeper, until she remembered that Jane hadn't spent last night with her. She rolled over to find Will settling under the covers.

"Hi, sweetheart," Maura said. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," he responded.

Since their trip to Vermont, Jane had regularly spent the night. Will seemed to be completely unfazed by it, which wasn't really surprising given his obvious affection for her, but Maura still wanted to proceed with caution. She had initiated a conversation with Will about privacy, knowing that soon he was going to be reaching an age when he would want his own privacy, and they agreed that a closed bedroom door meant that the other person had to knock before entering.

Since then she closed her bedroom door when Jane spent the night, and got up early the next morning so she was up before him, and kept the door open other nights. But even before Jane had begun spending the night Will was doing this less and less frequently and it had been at least two months since Maura could remember him visiting her in the morning like this.

She sat up in bed and took the opportunity to wrap her arm around his shoulders and pull him against her. She kissed the top of his head and then rested her chin against it. "There's a house I want to show you. I think you'll like it."

"Today?" he asked. "Jane said we could do batting practice today if she doesn't have to go to work."

"Then maybe we'll go after practice. There's something I want to talk to you about first though. I've been thinking about when we move if I should ask Jane to move in with us." When he didn't respond, Maura said, "You don't have to say yes. You can tell me if you don't think it's a good idea. That's why I'm bringing it up now. It's always just been the two of us and Jane moving in with us would be a big change. And there's always the possibility that my relationship with Jane could not work out and she would end up moving out at some point and then you wouldn't see her as often."

"Why?" he asked innocently.

Maura sighed and opted for the most basic and honest answer, although to her ears it sounded like she was dodging the question. "Things don't always turn out the way you think or hope that they will."

After a moment he said, "I want Jane to move with us."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"I still have to ask her, you know. She might not say yes."

"You should ask her. I think she'll say yes," he said confidently.

Jane arrived in the early afternoon, prepared to play baseball with Billy. He was signed up for the local youth baseball league that would start playing in a couple of weeks. Most of the kids he was going to be playing with had already played for a few seasons, starting with tee ball and then moving into live pitching. Billy was behind on the live pitching so he and Jane planned some practice sessions before his team's official practice started.

The previous weekend the three of them had gone to a sporting goods store to get Billy a bat. Jane had called a coach from the youth baseball league to ask about appropriate bat sizes, a detail Maura hadn't even considered. It hadn't occurred to her that there would be different lengths and weights and not just kids and adults bats, although in retrospect that seemed obvious.

With the guidance from the coach they went to the store and Billy tried out different bats, taking swings in the aisles until he found the ones he liked. Jane insisted on getting him an aluminum and a maple wood bat, explaining that while professional baseball players used wood bats, most youth and amateur players use aluminum because balls hit off of aluminum bats travel faster and farther. But she said everyone wants to pretend to be a major league player and play with a wooden bat sometimes.

This afternoon, Jane drove them to the park where Billy would play his games and where there were four little league size baseball diamonds arranged in a square. When they arrived she pulled a bucked filled with baseballs out of the trunk.

"Where did that come from?" Maura asked.

"Ma's house," Jane answered. "Pop used to pitch to us like this too. We accumulated these balls over the years."

"Why do we need so many?"

Jane laughed and said, "You'll see. I brought you something too," Jane said, reaching into the trunk and pulling out another item to give to Maura. "This is for you. I got you a glove and I, uh, worked on breaking it in a little. I would have given you an old glove of mine, but I'm a lefty so that wouldn't have worked for you."

"What exactly did breaking it in entail?" Maura asked suspiciously.

"Well, I had to do the quick version, so a little water, a rubber band, a short spin in the dryer."

Maura put the glove on her left hand. "Thank you. That's very sweet of you. Don't expect me to know what I'm doing though."

"Well, I am going to need your help fielding today," Jane said with a wink and then appraised Maura's outfit, now including the glove. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she wore running shorts and one of Jane's gray BPD t-shirts that she usually wore to bed and must have left in Maura's bedroom. "That's a good look for you," Jane said.

"You think so?" Maura said coyly.

"Yeah, you look good. Especially in my shirt."

Maura grinned at her but then Billy called for them to hurry up. They headed to the field and Jane said to Billy, "Alright, let's see that swing." He took a few practice swings and Jane said, "That looks good. Are you ready?"

He put on the helmet they had also picked up at the sporting goods store and said, "Ready."

"Maura, are you ready to be my defense?" Jane asked as she brought the the bucket of baseballs to the pitcher's mound.

"Where should I go?" she asked.

"Anywhere behind me you want to go. I really just need you to collect the balls he hits, and the farther you let them travel the better," she said just loud enough for Maura to hear as she walked by her.

"Right. Got it." Maura nodded and walked out to what would be roughly the shortstop position and Jane gave her a thumbs up.

Jane pitched to Billy, offering occasional tips, but mostly just saying good job when he made contact, which he did more frequently the longer they practiced. Maura gathered baseballs he put into play and returned them to Jane. And now she understood why they needed the large bucket of balls. Half of the balls ended up behind Billy when he swung and missed. Without another person behind the plate to field balls, they would have had to continually stop to collect balls if they didn't have the bucket full of them.

After a while, once Billy looked like he was getting a little tired of swinging the bat, Jane said, "What do you think, should we have your mom take some swings too?"

"Yeah," he said enthusiastically. "Come on, Mom."

"Yeah, come on Mom," Jane said with a grin.

Maura gave Jane a look as she walked past her towards the batter's box, but she took the bat from her son and he grabbed his glove and ran out behind Jane.

"Let's see your batting stance." Jane said to Maura.

Maura stiffly held the bat perpendicular to the ground and moved into a partially squatting position to await Jane's pitch. When Jane looked at her skeptically, Maura said, "This is the optimum batting stance. It's rigid body collision theory."

"Okay," Jane said with a shrug. "Ready Billy?" she called over her shoulder.

"Yup."

Jane threw about a dozen pitches to Maura, who swung and missed at each one. "Can I give you a few tips?" Jane asked.

"Okay."

Jane dropped her glove on the pitcher's mound and walked up to Maura. "Baseball isn't about science, it's about feeling. There's no equation that can tell you the best stance for hitting a baseball. You have to relax and get comfortable. Haven't you noticed that all the baseball players have different stances?" When Maura nodded, Jane continued, "That's because they're doing what works best for them. So relax your arms and your wrists, loosen your grip on the bat, and get into the position that feels comfortable to you."

Maura rolled her shoulders and positioned herself into a new batting stance, with her arms pulled back farther and the bat held at an angle and her back and knees in a more relaxed position, and took a few practice swings.

"Much better," Jane said. She then moved behind Maura and put her hands on her hips. "Now you just have to get your whole body involved. You're just swinging with your arms now. You want to step into the swing with your left leg and move your hips while you swing through the ball. Go ahead and try it."

Maura practiced her swing again, following all of Jane's instructions this time while Jane's hands helped direct the movement of her hips.

"There you go."

Maura smiled at Jane over her shoulder and said softly, "As much as I like this position, I think I'm ready to try again."

Jane went to back to the mound and on her third pitch, Maura made contact, hitting a grounder towards third base. Billy tracked down the ball and threw it back to Jane, yelling, "Nice, Mom," as he did.

Jane smiled at him and then at Maura, who said, "Come on, Jane, give me a fast one."

Jane laughed and threw a faster pitch which Maura again connected with and hit to right field.

Looking very pleased with herself, Maura said, "I think I'm good for today and you must be tired of throwing."

"I'm fine," Jane responded. "But we probably had enough practice for today. What's next on the agenda."

Maura smiled excitedly and said, "Let's go look at a house."

Over the past couple of months Maura had looked at a number of homes, mostly in Boston, Cambridge, Brookline and Newton. After seeing a number of different neighborhoods, she kept coming back to Beacon Hill. The history there, the architecture, and the location close to the Common, the Charles, and downtown Boston, all enticed her.

The previous weekend a three story brick row house came on the market. Maura had already visited twice with just her real estate agent and everything about the property was perfect. But she wanted Will and Jane's opinion before making an offer.

The first floor had an open floor plan with a large kitchen, dining area, and living room area with a fireplace. There were high ceilings and while it maintained a lot of the original architecture, everything had been updated with a modern and simple feel. A half-bath and pantry sat off the kitchen while French doors opened from the dining area out onto a brick patio and a small yard lined with flower beds.

The second floor had a full bathroom and three moderately sized rooms. One would be Will's room, one Maura planned to set up as a guest bedroom, and the third would be for Will to do whatever he wanted with unless at some point they needed another bedroom. The top floor was the master bedroom suite with a large bathroom, a walk-in closet, and a small extra room that the current owner was using as a home office.

The three of them walked through the whole house together. Will was excited about the prospect of essentially having a whole floor to himself. After looking around the top floor, he asked if he could go back to the second floor to think about which room he wanted. Once she was alone with Jane, Maura asked, "What do you think of this house?"

"It's very nice," Jane answered. She could tell from Maura's excited energy that this house was special to her. "This is the one, huh? You decided on Beacon Hill?"

Maura smiled. "Yes. This house has everything I want and doesn't need any major work or even major redecorating. This neighborhood feels like the right place for me. There's a lot of history here and we can walk to shops and restaurants and to the Common. It reminds me just a little of Europe too. I'm going to make an offer this week and if everything goes well, we should be able to move once Will's school year is over."

"What are you going to do with that room?" Jane asked, pointing to the small room off the master bedroom.

"I was thinking of turning it into a yoga room," Maura answered.

Jane laughed. "Really?"

"Yes. Unless you had any ideas."'

"Me?"

"Yes, you. I want your input." Maura took a deep breath and said, "I want to ask you something too."

"What is it?" Jane asked.

"What do you think about…living…here…with us?"

Jane opened her mouth to speak but then paused a moment before saying, "Is it too soon to make that…um…commitment?"

"I've thought about this a lot," Maura answered. "If we were twenty-five and just starting our careers and at a different stage in our lives, yes, it would probably be too soon. And if you didn't already have such a strong bond with Will, I would definitely say that it was too soon. But I love you and Will adores you. And I…I haven't felt the way I feel about you…I've never felt the connection I feel with you with anyone." When Jane didn't say anything immediately, Maura added nervously, "This afternoon was so nice, just the three of us spending time together. I want every day to be like that. How different would it really be from what we're doing now?"

"It could be a lot different," was Jane's only response. "Did you ask Billy about this?"

"Yes. Of course I did. He wants you to live with us too."

"I…um…" Jane paused. She wasn't sure how to say what she was feeling so she deflected, saying, "I can't afford this place."

"I can," Maura responded simply. "I want you to live with us, Jane. I don't want your money. I want you in my life, in our lives." When Jane was silent again, Maura asked gently, "What are you thinking?"

Jane sighed heavily and rubbed her hands over her face.

"Please talk to me," Maura said shakily.

Jane looked up at the ceiling, willing herself to say something without dissolving into tears. "If this doesn't work out…if we move in together and it doesn't work out…I'll lose everything good that's happened to me since…since this," Jane said, holding up her hands. "You'll have Billy and the two of you will move on with your lives and I'll have nothing."

Maura was surprised by Jane's response. "Jane, you have so much more than just me in your life. Your family, your job, your partners."

Jane shook her head and said bluntly, "It's not the same as what I have with you. It's just not the same. You're the most important thing in my life." Jane sighed again. "Look, I think I'm just surprised. I didn't know this discussion was going to happen already and I don't want rush into something before we're ready."

"We already spend most free evenings and weekends together and you spend the night with us a lot now. Other nights you're just upstairs. I didn't realize that you would think it was such a big change," Maura explained.

Jane softened and moved to Maura, putting her hands around Maura's waist. "Did you think I was just going to say yes immediately?"

"Yes, I suppose I did."

"Does that mean you guessed, Dr. Isles?" Jane teased, trying to lighten the mood.

But Maura didn't laugh. Instead she looked down to hide the tears forming in her eyes. "Now you know why I don't like to guess."

"Hey, I love you," Jane said, taking hold of Maura's hands and squeezing before repeating, "I love you. Which is why I don't want to mess this up."

Maura was biting her bottom lip, trying to keep from crying, while listening to Jane.

"I'm not saying no," Jane said.

"But you're not saying yes," Maura said softly.

"Not yet. I'm not saying yes yet. I just need some more time."

"Are you sure that's what's going on? If you have doubts about me or our relationship, I want you to tell me."

"I don't have any doubts about you. I have doubts about me. I can't just move in with you and Billy unless I'm sure I can make a commitment to both of you for the long term. It wouldn't be fair to you or especially to him, if I didn't take this step seriously."

Maura smiled, keeping her tears at bay, and pulled Jane towards her and into a soft and sweet kiss. "I don't have any doubts about you, but you can take all the time you need to decide. I want you here, Will and I both want you here. That's not going to change. I can wait until you're ready."