Chapter 21- Understanding

Author's Note:

Thanks for reading- I know SAB ended ages ago, so I appreciate any support that I can get.

We are entering the homestretch now and I've made some adjustments to my chapter plans- rather than a decade per chapter, I am going to let things flow naturally. Some will have larger time jumps than others- this one is looking a little smaller. Only five more chapters after this (V, W, X Y, and Z).

This is a mental health focused chapter, and we will see some serious character growth as it progresses, particularly from Bay, who will start out with a not-so-great perspective when it comes to depression.

This chapter deals with potentially upsetting content. If you would like to know ahead of time what this entails, shoot me a message here or on the takeachancebt tumblr page and I will let you know. There are also more details in the note at the bottom of this chapter as well. The upsetting content beings at the page break boarded by Xs and continues to the end of the chapter.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

1 Year Later- Late May 2034

"Depression," the doctor tells her. Bay feels like she is floating underwater. Every word is slow and muffled. She looks at the at the elderly psychiatrist and then at her daughter.

Addy's sneakers dangle just off the floor, swaying back and forth. Her dark hair hangs in a wavy curtain, hiding her face from view.

"Your daughter is depressed," the doctor reiterates slowly.

She shakes her head. "But she's so young."

"She is young. Depression can happen at any age, including in the very young."

"Well what are we going to do about it?" she snaps.

"Therapy, to start," he answers with a pointed look. "Then perhaps we will implement a medication routine if it is needed."

Bay is baffled. Depression? Therapy? Medication? Adaline was eleven. Eleven-year olds did not get depression. They didn't need therapy or medication for it. She didn't know any kids that had mental health problems. It was an adult thing. A product of a hard life.

Beatrix was fine. Why would Addy, her identical twin, not be? Bee had more reason to be sad- she was the one born undersized and the one with a handful of health problems because of it.

"I wish your father was here, Adaline," the doctor says softly. "We need to be a team when it comes to tackling this."

Addy shrugs, never looking up from her shoes. Bay huffs impatiently.

"Adaline-Diane Kahlo, please talk when someone is speaking to you."

She scowls crossly. "He's at work. Couldn't take the day off." She drags a knee under her chin and perches it there. "He never takes time off," she mutters bitterly.

The white-haired doctor scribbles more notes down.

Bay twists her wedding ring. Addy and Ty were so very similar. So similar in fact, that they had a harder time getting along than anyone else in the family. Bee was the one who Ty was closest to, then Callie. Theo-Dougie was Bay's closest child. Addy was left out and Bay didn't know how to make it right.

She was always left out. The school had noticed too and they were the reason that they had this appointment. They were deeply concerned by Addy's lack of friends and slipping grades.

Bay felt terrible about this. She didn't want her daughter to suffer. But she couldn't understand why. Why would Addy be like this when none of her siblings or cousins were?

She didn't want to believe that her daughter could be sick. On some level, her daughter's misery was her fault. Callie was so demanding and Beatrix so needy due to her health problems, and then there had been newborn Theo-Dougie added to the mix... Addy had gotten lost. She had been an easy baby and a chill child. It wasn't hard for Bay to not notice her when she was upset when she was just so busy with everything else.

"Ms. Kennish-Mendoza, may we talk in private?" Dr. Osblaine says quietly. "I need to speak to you specifically about your involvement in young Miss Adaline's treatment plan and it would be best if we could be frank with each other."

Bay brushes her fringe back with shaky fingers. "Alright. Addy, could you go wait with Callie please?"

Her daughter shrugs and slinks out of the room without a word.

"Ma'am? I'd really recommend that you be more patient and supportive with this issue. Getting angry doesn't help matters."

Bay shifts uneasily. She thought that she'd been doing a decent job at managing her infamous fiery Bay Kennish temper. Guess not...

She wasn't great at being nurturing. Ty took to parenthood naturally. It had been much more difficult for Bay to do so, despite enjoying being a teacher and being good at it too.

Sometimes when she really thought about it, she couldn't believe that this was her life; that she was a wife and had four kids. Her life was so... domestic. She was more like Kathryn than she had ever wanted to be.

In her younger days, she'd never imagined really settling down. It was Callie who had changed things. She realizes that if she hadn't been exposed to Callie, her and Ty's relationship probably wouldn't have gone far. He had desperately wanted a family of his own while she was much more hesitant, having never really felt like she belonged anywhere and not knowing what she wanted as a result. It wouldn't have been right to hold him back from the chance to grow a family of his own.

It didn't matter now. Things had grown on their own. Now it was hard to imagine a world without Ty and their children.

"Madam?"

Bay startles. She'd been lost in thought for longer than she'd realized.

"I highly recommend getting your husband on board with attending the family sessions. The more involved you all are, the more successful the treatment is."

Her voice is shaky with nerves when she says, "Ok, I will discuss this with him."

The doctor smiles and pats her hand. "Please send in the young madam so we can begin an intake session."

"Already? This is so fast."

"Your daughter is in deep need of this. I fear what will happen in the future if we don't start immediately. Due to patient confidentiality, I am unable to say anything further."

Frowning, Bay leaves the room and sends Adaline in.

Seated next to a studious Callie, she ponders how to tell Ty this. He had great difficulty in accepting any help at all, a product of his East Riverside days. This bled onto his children and although he loved them so incredibly passionately and deeply, Bay knew that he was hard on them. It was a product of his difficult life and from his military experiences.

Bay realizes that this would probably be almost as good for Ty as it would be for Addy. Even though the sessions would not be for him, she is hopeful that they will help him properly manage his trauma in order to help Addy out with whatever it was she was going through.

Things would be unbearably rough for Addy and that breaks Bay's heart. Her daughter deserved better than to be judged for needing help.

She may not understand, but she does know just how much her daughter needs her unconditional support. Bay vows that no matter what, no matter the snide comments from their cold and judgmental neighbours or from Addy's classmates, she will do anything it takes to make sure that Adaline gets well and has a happy and healthy future ahead of her.

0o0o0o0

Three months later- Late August 2034

Three months. Three months Addy has stayed in her room, mindlessly surfing the web and not saying more than a few words. She only left to go to her appointments and to use the washroom or shower or get food.

Bay doesn't think that she's been more terrified in her life. This... this numbness, this clear blue unhappiness, scared her. She's terrified of what will happen to her daughter if it continues.

Therapy had been easy to accept. It had benefited the whole family and Bay felt like she was a much better communicator and a more patient parent. But medication was not. She didn't want her baby on pills. Didn't want her taking something with a side effect list as long as her arm.

Ty was even more reluctant to put his daughter on medication. It had been hard enough to convince him to go to the therapy sessions. He had claimed that 'he got on fine without that crap and as his daughter, Addy should too'. But Bay knew that he didn't get on that well. He had nightmares, mood swings, and was triggered by the sound of backfiring cars and slamming doors, and the smell of burnt meat and fabric.

She still isn't sure why the military let him fall through the cracks. A young soldier with a limited support system coming back injured from a combat zone should have been heavily monitored and sent to private and group therapy sessions. Instead, Ty reluctantly went to the mandatory group sessions and claimed to have never said a word while there. It disturbed her a lot that he still clung to the old East Riverside way of refusing any help.

0o0o0

It is a stormy evening, when Ty is trembling in her arms, hands over his ears to muffle the loud thunder, that he admits to having a problem. Bay cries in relief at his realization and crushes him against her chest, trying to soothe his anguish away.

"I love you, I love you so much," she whispers into his ear.

She is shocked when he starts to cry too. He so rarely cried; she could count on one hand the number of times he did so around her. His openness surprises her and fills her with compassion.

"Shh," she hums, "you'll be ok, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

He cries harder at that and Bay suddenly realizes that Ty has never truly gotten over his fear of abandonment. She clings more tightly to him.

Ty gulps heavily, his face hot and sticky.

"I think Addy needs to go on the medications," he says, his voice creaky.

Bay's fingers doddle on Ty's back as she thinks. Medication was so incredibly undesirable. But it was more desirable than the cationic daughter she had now.

"Ok," she finally whispers. "I think we should talk to her and to the doctor and suggest it. It's not ideal, but it is the best option we have."

Ty's face presses against the crook of her shoulder as he says lowly, "I think I need too as well."

Bay is quiet. Her husband was being so open and vulnerable and she doesn't want to spoil the moment.

"I never recovered from all the messed up shit in my life and it's still hurting me now when things are finally good. It's hurting my family. I can't... I need help."

He plays with a strand of her hair, not meeting her eyes as he waits for her response.

"I love you," Bay says simply, "and I admire that you are taking this step. I'll be here for you whenever you want me and whenever you need me.'

Ty looks up. His eyes are watery, but his smile is genuine.

"I love you, so much," he says. "Thank you for listening."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Two Years Later- June 2036

Flight school graduation. Bay couldn't quite believe that they had made their way to another graduation ceremony for Callie and yet here they were.

Below, a large group of formally dressed students make their way to their seats. Bay can't help but cry at 'Pomp and Circumstance'. The tune did funny things to her insides.

Before she knows it, twenty-five year old Callie is marching across the stage, accepting her degree with distinction and her pilot's license with the proudest expression Bay has ever seen on her face.

Beside her, Ty and John wolf whistle in appreciation while the rest of the family claps heartily. Bay can see Callie blush, but she also sees the deep affection she has for her family, especially her 'PopPop'.

She doesn't know when it happened, but her Dad and Callie had built an incredibly close and affectionate relationship. It was frankly rather adorable to see her wizened and quiet father with the young and vivacious Callie. She had promised her PopPop that she would fly him to Maui and the Big Island and Kauai for free on her buddy pass, a perk of her new job.

Callie was due to start up flying for a local island hopping company next week, working terribly early hours and earning a pittance. But her daughter was happy and excelled at it, and that's all Bay needs to be happy and proud of her oldest.

In another six months, they would have a wedding to celebrate, Callie having gotten engaged to her long-term boyfriend Yuri. He was a fantastic person and gave Callie so much love and stability. It reminded Bay of the balanced relationship that she and Ty had crafted together at that tender age.

She swears that just yesterday, a tiny and angry Callie was passive-aggressively picking out a pink bridesmaid dress for Bay's own wedding. Callie had asked her to be in the wedding and she is almost tempted to return the favour and wear navy blue, Callie's most hated colour.

It still amazes Bay that she and Ty have been married for over thirteen years. What a life they've lived and it is only getting started.

She never imagined being married or having a family and yet here she was, married to an amazing man and with four amazing children. It feels like last week she and Emmett had broken up for the last time.

Her redheaded ex was apparently bumming around Kansas City, with no education and only a smattering of terrible jobs according to Daphne who still talked to him. Bay has to remind herself not to judge because life was difficult for non-oral deaf people and the unemployment rate exceeded fifty percent. Not everyone was like her high-achieving sister.

But there was just something about Emmett that made Bay believe that his unemployment was more about attitude and personality rather than his deafness. She wouldn't be surprised to find out that he had never matured past the point of sixteen or out of the victim complex that accompanied that awful age bracket.

She's glad that she didn't stay with him. They had been full of chemistry and passion, but not enduring love or understanding. She wouldn't be the person she is today without it, and there are no regrets in her. Her life could not get any better and a small part of that was because of what she and Emmett had shared back in the day.

0o0o0o0o0

6 Months Later- December 2036

Sitting in a dull grey hospital room, Bay sobs into her hands as the orderlies remove her father from the room to transport him to the morgue in the basement. Her father had died of a heart attack, the third in his life.

'Third time lucky,' she thought bitterly. It was hard to breathe through the pain. First Angelo, then Grandma Adaline, and now, her father. It was all too much.

Callie stared listlessly out the window, the only other family member besides her and Daphne in the room. Bay knows that she was supposed to take her Dad on his first transpacific trip next month, having picked up a new job with a major airliner a week prior. She had been so excited.

"I should have taken him sooner," her daughter says hollowly. "He said he'd always wanted to go to New Zealand."

Bay draws in a rattled, shaky breath. She hadn't known that. There was a lot she hadn't known about him, much to her shame.

"Yuri says that if we can delay the wedding, he'll cover all the lost costs."

"Do you want to delay it?"

Callie shakes her head. "No, but it doesn't feel right doing it only a few days after his passing."

"I think he'd want you guys to keep up with it. He was always such a stickler for keeping appointments, much like your father."

Her daughter smiles weakly. "I'm the same way. Runs in the family I guess."

Bay laughs a little. It was true; Callie, John, and Ty were all firm believers in schedules. The rigours of piloting, baseball, and the army had impacted them tremendously. Her Dad would have a cow if Callie's wedding didn't go off as scheduled. Bay remembers the few times her father's games would get rained out and how frustrated that would make him. He wouldn't want to miss out on New Zealand either...

"I think he'd still want you to take him to New Zealand after your honeymoon in Colorado. You could spread his ashes or something."

Callie looks at her with glassy brown eyes. They were almost amber-coloured now, having been darker in her youth. They were the only part of her that didn't look like Ty had cloned himself into a woman.

"I think I like the sound of that," she says cautiously. "I'd have to look up the regulations..."

"Who cares? Break the rules," Bay interrupts. "Just do it. He would want it."

Callie's mouth drops open, and Bay nearly mirrors her. She had not expected to say that at all.

"Uh, are you sure, Mom? I think PopPop would want me to follow the rules."

Bay sags in exhaustion. Callie was right. John was also a stickler for following the rules. He wouldn't have been a successful baseball player without that strict discipline.

"I'm not sure why I said that," she says, her voice shockingly weak.

Callie pats her shoulder, standing a little more proudly.

"This was all such a shock," she says with surprising wisdom. "He'd been doing so well. Your world is tilted off its axis. Dad said I acted out a lot after the accident, even though I can't really remember much."

Bay stares at her. She's not sure what to say.

"Thanks, honey," she manages to get out after a minute.

Callie brightens. "I need to call Yuri and tell him that we'll proceed according to schedule."

Bay looks down at the small diamond ring flanked by two sapphires and smiles fondly. She loved Callie's ring, almost as much as her own.

Her father wasn't gone from the family, not completely. It was always growing and changing- that's what life was all about. It would be a little bit smaller without her father, but growing larger with the addition of Yuri at the same time.

Bay remembers the challenges of getting her father to accept that Ty was going to be added to the family. Eventually though he and Ty had reached an easy understanding. Later in their lives, Bay would often even catch the two of them watching baseball games together and yelling at the television.

She still remembers the moment when her Dad had told Ty how honoured he was that he bore his last name and that he truly considered him to be a son. She had never seen such a beautiful moment from her father, and she will cherish it always.

Bay takes in a deep, shaky breath. Standing to her full height, which is considerably less than Callie's, she hugs her daughter.

"Right on schedule," Callie says in mock sternness, her voice mimicking her Grandfather's, "otherwise you'll never win the World Series."

They both dissolve into giggles. Bay feels a thousand times lighter as they leave the room together, John's spirit trailing behind.

0o0o0o0o0

Two Months Later- Early February 2037

Times passes, and Bay comes to realize that no matter how fast the days fly by, she will always miss her father. They'd grown close ever since he and her mother had divorced, and John had settled in Hawaii for a glorious retirement, leaving Toby to manage the carwash.

In fact, she'd say that John was her closest parent of the four that she'd had. If you'd told teenage-Bay this, she would have scoffed. There was no way that she would have believed it to be possible.

And yet it was. His death had shown her how to love and appreciate the family around her. So on a whim, she decides to call Regina. They hadn't talked since the very brief call when Bay told her of his passing. They are long overdue for a real heart-to-heart.

The phone rings. And rings. And rings. Just when Bay is about to give up, her biological mother answers with a breathy, "Hello? Can't you tell I'm not interested in buying whatever you're selling?"

"Regina? It's me."

There's a long pause on the other end of the line. "Bay?" she finally says, sounding uncertain.

"Yes. Bay. Your daughter."

This is one moment where Bay almost understands what it is like to be deaf as the silence drags on and on.

"Wow. Bay. Honey, it's been so long."

"I miss you," she says, hating how her voice has taken on that young, pleading tone. She sounds like a six year old who has gotten lost at the mall. She feels like that six year old.

She hears Regina draw in a rough, ragged breath. "I'm sorry I missed John's funeral. I can't imagine how hard that was."

"We needed you there," Bay says softly.

"Life gets in the way," she responds, clearly hurt. "Not all of us can stay at home and laze about."

Bay feels steam coming out of her ears. How dare she? She and Ty had come to the uneasy agreement that her staying at home before the kids started school was the best option for them. Regina hadn't been around in those days and didn't get it. The base was far from the elementary schools that she was qualified to teach at and they would have spent almost as much money with daycare and babysitting as Bay would have made.

It had been worth staying home anyway, particularly with Beatrix who'd had needs relating to her birth that were best dealt with herself. On top of that, sometimes Ty was sent to Colorado to do two to four week stints, training up other aviation mechanics. He was the top of his class now, and so he was frequently requested to take on additional teaching sessions. Bay was needed at home when the children were tiny. There was just no escaping the challenges of their schedule.

It had been hard, but John, her father, had been there to help. He had understood. After all, Kathryn had gone through something similar with John's ball-playing days.

"That's not fair," Bay finally snaps.

"Well, it's the truth isn't it? You and Kathryn both stayed at home and were free to do as you pleased while Daphne and I worked our asses off. No daughter of mine would have ever made the choice to stay at home."

"Well, it's a good thing that I'm not your daughter then," Bay responds in a low, dangerous voice.

Regina inhales sharply. "Bay-"

"No. You listen to me. You've never been around. Ever. Just because you gave birth to me doesn't make you my mother. I might have gotten a sister because of the switch, but I certainly didn't get a mother out of it like Daphne did."

"Oh, like you're so easy to deal with, Bay. It's not like you've ever tried to have a relationship with me either."

Tears begin to trickle down her face as she realizes the choice she is going to have to make.

"I have tried, Regina. You act like because I'm married and a mother, that I don't need my parents around, but I still do. But the thing is, you're the parent. You're the one who hid the switch all those years. You made the choice to always distance yourself from me. That gulf existed long before I ever decided to stay at home with my children."

She can hear Regina breathing, but she doesn't say anything to Bay.

"Goodbye, Regina. I hope that you have a nice life."

She hangs up with a sad, slow press of her thumb. Her heart aches with pain, but she knows that cutting Regina off is the right choice. There will be no more worrying about phone calls, no more awkward Christmas gift shopping, no more longing for visits.

She can't help but wait for a desperate call back.

It never comes.

XXX-0o0o0o0o0o0o0-XXX

Eight Months Later- October 2037

On the anniversery of the switch and her and Daphne's 42nd birthday, Bay finds herself bent over, unable to breathe and terrified.

Panic attack her mind tells her. She'd soothed a few of Addy's away, but she finds that she is unable to do the same for herself.

She rushes into the washroom and retches into the sink, unable to make it to the toilet. The acid burns her throat and she feels as if it is swelled shut. She is totally and completely unable to breathe.

The edges around her eyes are turning black from lack of oxygen and she's terrified that she's going to pass out right here and die. She sits on the edge of the tub, rocking back and forth.

A large, gentle hand presses against her upper back, forcing her head between her knees. Tears and snot splatter against the floor like disgusting raindrops.

"Shh," Ty says. "You're having a panic attack."

Bay shakes her head, gagging as she does so. She can't talk at all right now.

Ty slides down on the floor and pulls her to sit in front of him.

"Match my chest," he says softly. "Can you do that for me?"

Leaning against him, she follows his lead, and breathes evenly and slowly for what seem like hours. She doesn't notice when Ty slips away and stands, instead focusing on her own breathing.

She finally feels calm. Ty is standing by the sink, brown eyes staring softly down at her.

Standing shakily, she accepts the glass of water that he is holding out.

"Thank you," she replies slowly, her voice harsh. She drains the glass in three large gulps. The water soothes the ache and her throat feels clearer.

"Thank you," she says again, this time more assertively.

"It's no problem, honey," he answers, "I understand what it's like to get those. I used to get them all the time when I was younger."

She nods. He had told her this before.

"I understand why today is a tough day."

Bay blinks heavily and looks away. It was still hard to think about having to cut Regina off. It might be the right thing, but that didn't mean that the right thing was easy.

"Regina's never been very good at being supportive," he sighs sadly. "She's ok with Daphne because they were all the other had for so many years. But haven't you noticed how her relationships never last long or how few friends she has?"

"Yeah," Bay whispers softly. It was true- Regina was absolutely terrible at connecting with other people, especially once she felt like they didn't need her anymore because when that happened, they could up and leave, just like Bay had when she had cut her off that sunny February afternoon.

"She distanced herself from you for so long that I don't think she knows how to function. She held onto that need to distance herself for years and she lost the ability to connect to you because before, it was just too hard. Now that you're older, she doesn't want to feel like she's intruding or unwelcome."

Her husband was being unusually wise and perceptive. Bay feels her love grow exponentially.

"I'm not saying that it's ok, but she just doesn't know how not to push you away. It's her way of protecting herself."

"But she's an adult! Adults always make sacrifices for their children."

"Adults make mistakes," he patiently reminds her. "We've both made our fair share."

"And Regina did makes sacrifices," he adds. "Would it have helped if she contacted you all those years ago? Disrupted your whole world just so she could be in your life? Disrupted Daphne's life too?"

Bay perches on the edge of the tub. This was a lot to take in.

"Do you think that I should call her? Try and work things out?"

Ty pauses. "I think that you deserve an explanation. I think that Regina owes it to you to hear about all of the things that you've both lost because she didn't get help for her problems after you found out about the switch. And I think you should listen to what she has to say about all of that."

She nods slowly. Regina might not owe her much, but an explanation was something that Bay thinks that she deserves after all these years.

There's a beat between them.

"I'll leave you to your privacy," Ty says awkwardly.

Bay stands and kisses him, long and slow and deep.

"I love you," she says.

He smiles. "Love you too." With that, he quickly strides out of the room.

Her thumb hovers over the little icon with Regina's picture. Taking a deep breath, she squeezes her eyes shut and presses down quickly.

She is greeted by a strange dial tone. An automated message follows.

I'm sorry; the number you have reached is not in service at this time, or is temporarily disconnected. This is a recording. Please check the number and dial again, or call your operator to help you.

She scrunches her nose up and checks the number. It was the same one she had used eight months ago and it had been Regina's number ever since she'd had a cell phone.

A quick text to Daphne confirms this- the number was right. Daphne had called the teleprompter and had received the same automatic message.

Now Bay was worried. It was not like Regina to go AWOL. She was attached to her phone like no one's business.

Frowning, she decides to call Toby. He still lived out in KC with his son Miguel, and it was Regina's permanent base of operations.

"Hey bro," she says when he answers the phone.

"Sis," he replies gallantly. She can hear the smile in his voice."How's the old girl hanging? Break a hip since I called this morning?" he teases.

"Hey! I am not old," she bites back playfully. "And besides, you're the old one here. It's your hips that I am worried about."

He chortles quietly. "I miss being on the end of your wraths."

The smile drops from her face when she remembers why she is calling in the first place.

"Toby? Have you seen Regina lately? I tried calling this morning and it says that the number can't be completed as dialed."

"I'll pop over for a visit, Bay. She's back living in East Riverside now."

"Thanks, Toby," she answers in relief. Maybe the number was lost in the haste of her move. That was it, she decides. She'd be getting that frantic call from her birth mother in an hour or two.

Bay yet again waits for a call from Regina that doesn't happen. Instead, she gets a frantic call from Toby at 11:00pm.

"Bay!" he shouts.

Rubbing her eyes tiredly, she yawns. She and Ty were just getting ready for bed.

Shooing her husband away, she sits on her chaise lounge in the dark.

"Toby? Why are you calling so late?"

"Bay-" he chokes on a breath. She can hear him retching in the background and the comforting sounds of a gruff masculine voice asking if he is alright.

"Regina... Regina, she's dead!"

Bay feels her heart stop. What?

"Dead?" she whispers. "Toby, this isn't funny."

He moans in pain. "Bay, I'd never joke about someone killing themselves. Never!"

Killing themselves? What was going on?

"Toby..."

"I found her, Bay! I found her!"

Tears drip down her face. "Where?" she questions angrily. "Where'd you find her!"

His breaths are coming in steady bursts, as if he had run a marathon.

"Do you really want to know? Truly?"

"Yes!" she snaps. "Fucking tell me what happened!"

"She was in her bedroom," he starts. "Her front door was unlocked and it was unusually quiet inside."

She trembles heavily and is afraid that she is going to drop the phone so she turns it onto speaker, hoping that none of the kids are up and about.

"She was in her room and on the bedside table was a picture of you and Daphne, and beside that was an empty bottle of pills."

"Oh, no," Bay weeps, dragging her sleeve across her face like a toddler.

"That's not all," Bay," Toby says quietly.

"She used the gun too, didn't she?" she replies flatly.

A long pause follows.

"Yes," he finally answers.

A rush of guilt fills her insides. This was all her fault!

"I'm so sorry, Bay," Toby says softly. "I wish..." He trails off, knowing that the words are useless.

"What are we going to do?" Bay cries.

"I don't know, I really don't."

Behind her, a light flicks on.

"You're both going to get some sleep, then you'll deal with it in the morning."

Bay says goodbye to her brother and allows Ty to lead her to bed.

Her last thoughts before she falls asleep is the sinking knowledge that Regina killed herself on the day of the switch; the day that her life changed forever; the day that all their lives changed forever.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

End of Chapter 21

Please review!

Random note:

It was a tough choice to have Regina react so harshly to John's death and to speak to Bay the way that she did, and to ultimately kill herself due to grief. She felt guilty about not being able to take time off to travel to Hawaii for the funeral, and so she lashed out at Bay's privileged lifestyle which she is jealous of as it has given Bay a lot of freedom. On top of that, what Ty said is true- Regina doesn't know how to connect with Bay and she would feel intrusive by trying to become involved in Bay's life at this point. So she doesn't try and ends up self-sabotaging when a situation came along that resulted in her not being able to be there when she was wanted. Regina needed Bay to take the first step because she was afraid but Bay wanted Regina to do that for the first time in her life. And so it ended in tragedy because Regina believes that if she'd done something about the switch earlier, that things would have become beautiful and loving between her and Bay. Alas, life does not work out in the way that one dreams.

I hope that that explanation made some sense.

The other chapters are already written and will be published roughly every 10 days. Thanks for sticking with me. :)