AN: So yes, I do realise that this is no longer the weekend, which is when I said I would have an update for you. I tried to get it finished but it just wasn't coming out right. But I'm happy with it now and it's ready for your consumption. I hope you really like it and just a warning before I let you go and read. It's rated M for a reason. ;) Thank you to everyone who has read this fic from the start or who has found it along the way. Your support is greatly appreciated and I love all those lovely reviews you send me. So, I hope you enjoy this one and who knows what I'll update next.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls.

It Started With A Kiss

Chapter twenty-one

All These Things That I've Done

He was slowly drifting in and out of consciousness. A restless night spent tossing and turning had finally ended in him finding sleep. And he wanted to stay curled up in bed for the rest of the day. The fates had other plans though. A loud banging at his bedroom door snapped him from his sleepy state and he cursed whoever it was disturbing him so early in the morning.

"Go away!" he yelled, making it clear he didn't want any visitors. However, they didn't take the hint. Instead, he heard another bang at the door before they gave up and threw it open. He groaned when he heard his sister's voice.

"Logan Huntzberger! You jerk! You ass! You inconsiderate, mindless, lowlife, frat boy, butt-faced miscreant!" The sound of her screeching sent him under the covers. He groaned again and as he pulled the comforter over his head, Honor yanked it off, leaving him laying there, exposed to the cold air.

"What the hell, Honor!?" He sprung up, glowering at his pain-in-the-ass sister.

"I cannot believe you would sink so low. How could you do that to her?" she paced around his room, Logan felt the cold air hit his skin and he shuddered.

"Get out of here, Honor!" he instructed her, his anger starting to grow.

"You stood her up! How could you stand her up? After everything you two have been through. You just treat her like she's another one of your whores," she lambasted him, the rage clear on her face. She paced back and forth at the edge of his bed and grabbed a pillow, throwing it at him.

"I was so right about you. I knew this would happen. You know what? You don't deserve her. She could do so much better than a jerk-off like you!" she spat at him and then sent him one last death glare before stomping out of his bedroom, thumping the door shut behind her.

Now he was pissed off. What right did she have just storming into his bedroom at…he looked at his alarm clock…eight o'clock in the morning? What right did she have to just stick her nose into other people's business? Whatever went on between him and Rory was nothing to do with her. She just had to get involved.

He wasn't going to let her get to him though. He wasn't going to let her make him feel guilty for his no-show the night before.

Who was he kidding? He already felt guilty. He felt like scum. He didn't need Honor yelling at him to make him realise what an ass he was. He was fairly certain that he had thoroughly merited all the names she had called him. Standing Rory up was the lowest thing he could've done. Well, he could think of a few other things he could've done that may have been worse, but that wasn't the point. In his pathetic need to punish her, he had only ended up hurting her and that was something he couldn't live with. He hated himself for that.

He needed to go see Rory and explain about his act of…cowardice? Was that the right word? He wasn't sure. But he needed to do something soon. Although, he wasn't sure whether he could actually face her or whether she would even want to look at him. He wouldn't blame her if she didn't want to speak to him ever again.

He wasn't ready to just go jumping back into something with Rory. They still had issues that weren't going to just go away over night. He still felt angry that she had failed to trust him, but he was just making a tough situation worse by his actions and he needed them to be on decent terms at least. As much as he thought he wanted it, he didn't want to cut Rory out of his life. He couldn't imagine anything worse.

Logan sat on his bed with his head in his hands as he contemplated how to fix the mess he found himself in. He hoped it wasn't too late.

RLRLRLRLRLRLRL

It was amazing what some coffee and a hot shower could do for a girl. It could provide a whole new outlook on life, well for at least a few moments before the heart wrenching pain set in again.

Rory felt angry and sad. She felt hurt and she understood; Logan was punishing her. That's why he hadn't shown up the night before. Or maybe he just didn't care anymore and that was his way of informing her. As she pulled on her jacket and piled up her books, she silently hoped that it was a case of the former. If he was punishing her then it meant that he still cared enough to think of ways to hurt her. In a twisted way, she could live with that. If he really did hate her enough to want to hurt her, then that still meant something, right?

She sighed. She was beginning to feel like she was going insane. In what world was it okay for any guy to stand a girl up? How could she justify that kind of behaviour for anyone? She couldn't keep making excuses because Logan was mad and she was so desperately sorry. It wasn't healthy for her or anyone. She needed to get her head sorted and stop dwelling on her failed relationship. They were together. Now they were over. It was as simple as that. He didn't want her anymore. He couldn't have made it any more obvious. So, she had to do what she had to do. She had to move on and focus on the good things in her life and let go of Logan Huntzberger.

Easier said than done!

Well, she could at least try.

She wanted to erase all memories of the night before. Sobbing into her Chinese food had not been one of her finest moments. Then sobbing on Honor's shoulder when she and Josh had returned from the movies wouldn't have won her any girl power awards either. She'd managed to work herself into a frenzy as she worried about what could have happened to Logan. All sorts of scenarios popped into her head. Maybe he was hurt or injured. Maybe he had some kind of emergency and that was why he couldn't come see her. Or maybe he just didn't care.

When she woke up this morning, she thought she would burst into tears again, but it seemed she was all cried out. She was so tired of crying all the time. She had no more tears left. She had used them all up. She felt exhausted and the sorrow had turned into anger. She was angry at herself for being so weak and pathetic. And she was angry at Logan for treating her like something on his shoe. It was time to get over it, starting today.

She found herself in the newsroom. It had become something of a sanctuary for her over the last few weeks. She had always loved the buzz of the newsroom and working on an article kept her mind from wandering onto other things. And for that she was grateful.

"Gilmore!" Doyle's voice rang out through the newsroom. She glanced up from her computer monitor and he beckoned her over. She instinctively felt her stomach fill with dread as she guessed he was about to chew her out over something she did wrong. Reluctantly, she pushed out her chair and meandered slowly over to his desk.

"What's up, Doyle?" she tried to keep a light tone, but she didn't know what to expect.

"Have a seat," he gestured to the chair and then stretched back in his own. Rory looked at him curiously for a few seconds and then perched on the seat, her back rigid as she waited for the bomb to hit.

"Have you heard of the Matthew Ingram Internship program?" he asked as he signed something handed to him by one of the other members of staff. Rory frowned, puzzled by the line of questioning.

"Um…I don't think so."

"It's very prestigious," he explained. "It's a three month program run by The New York Times where you would be working in every department, helping out, shadowing other writers. It's pretty intense."

Rory's eyes widened as she contemplated what he was talking about. The New York Times was her dream. She would give anything for an opportunity to work there as a journalist someday.

"So anyway, they only recruit from the best schools in the country and there are six places up for grabs every year. And it's up to me to nominate three from Yale. The chosen three submit some of their best work, and then the committee pick out of the three who they think is best suited for the position."

Rory listened as Doyle explained the procedure, she was completely awestruck.

"I want to put your name forward," he said in a serious but unbothered tone, like it was no big deal. Rory was hyperventilating by this point. Her eyes bulged and her heart started thumping loudly in her chest.

"Are you serious?" she had to ask. She would be very pissed off if he was just fooling around.

"Absolutely. Don't tell Paris," he leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially," but you're one of my best writers. And I really think you'd be great."

Rory was surprised by his words of praise. She was stunned that he thought so highly of her.

"Thanks, Doyle." she said slowly, not able to think straight just yet.

"Don't decide now. The deadline is next Friday. Consider it very thoroughly. You'd be in New York for the whole summer. Its three months of intensive training. It'll be a lot of hard work, but the things you'll learn will stay with you. And just think of the contacts you'd make," he said encouragingly.

Rory considered his words seriously. "Yeah."

"Well, let me know by next week." He stood up indicating that the conversation was over. Rory followed his actions and stood up too. Her head was swirling with all the possibilities.

"Right," she nodded and then turned to go back to her desk. As she did so, her eyes locked onto a pair of familiar brown eyes staring at her from across the room. Her stomach dipped and she felt like she was going to be sick as she took in the sight of her very much alive ex-boyfriend. He gave her a tentative wave as if he was testing the waters. She did not wave back. Instead, she dropped her gaze to the floor and headed back to her desk. When she realised that he was on his way over to her, she panicked and immediately felt the need to get as far away from him as possible. She saved her work and then frantically tugged on her jacket. She gathered all of her things and flew out of the room so fast that she almost knocked him over in her haste.

Rory heard him call after her, but she just ignored him and carried on in her desperate pursuit to put as much distance between them as possible. She couldn't deal with Logan right now. She needed more time to figure out whether she was mad at him or whether she understood why he acted the way he did. Right then, she felt angry at him and she didn't want to start an argument with him in the newsroom.

"Rory!" Logan called out to her but she ignored him and turned the corner into the hallway, while silently hoping that he would get the message and leave her alone. She noted to herself that he was actually alive. In the brief few seconds that she had glimpsed at him, he seemed to have all of his appendages in the right place. There didn't seem to be any broken bones or apparent gashes on his perfectly handsome features. He was the same Logan that had captivated her so completely. She felt momentary relief that her overactive imagination was wrong and he hadn't spent the night fighting for his life in a hospital somewhere. She then felt anger that he seemed to have nothing wrong with him at all.

"Rory!" he shouted and she felt her blood boil. "Rory wait!" She spun around and stared at him with seething hatred in her eyes.

"I waited!" she yelled back at him, ignoring the stares they were getting by passers-by. Logan froze as he felt the full force of her fury unleashed. "I waited for you! I'm done waiting!"

With one last look, she felt tears prick her eyes. She didn't want to break down in front of him, in front of everyone. She spun away from him and strode down the hall as fast as she could while his sad, remorse-filled eyes watched her go.

RLRLRLRLRL

The Huntzberger's family dinners were usually eventful occasions. Given the fraught tensions between father and son, it was always possible for fireworks to erupt at any point. However, there was an eerie feeling to this particular dinner. The four principle members sat in silence at the dinner table, eating their meal with no poisonous words filling the air.

Shira looked from her daughter to her son and then to her husband. Mitchum just shrugged and continued eating his meal. She studied Honor closely, noticing determined reluctance to as much as glance in her brother's direction. Logan's usual self assurance seemed deflated as he pushed his food around his plate with his fork. He wasn't eating, he wasn't speaking, and he wasn't trying to antagonise his sibling or his father. He looked rather miserably unhappy and Shira wondered what was on her son's mind. A thought occurred to her that perhaps the reason for his despondent behaviour was due to a falling out with the girlfriend she had only today learned he had.

"So, Logan how is school?" she asked. She fully intended on questioning him regarding a certain Miss Gilmore, but she would work up to it. She knew how to handle her son, and unlike Mitchum, she knew that an all out attack was not the way to achieve her goal.

"Fine," Logan grunted as he spiked a potato with his fork and popped it into his mouth. He didn't look up from his plate.

"And your friends? How are Colin and Finn doing? I remember the trouble you three used to get into." She ignored the raised eyebrow from her husband at the other end of the table.

"They're fine," was Logan's response. Shira sighed; getting anything out of Logan was like trying to get blood from a stone.

"And what about your girlfriend?" she asked hoping to catch him off guard. Mitchum, Honor and Logan's eyes all flew in her direction, surprise evident on their faces. Honor's expression held amusement as Logan squirmed in his seat. Mitchum frowned at the mention of the word 'girlfriend'. He had never heard the word mentioned when regarding his son, unless it was used in the plural.

"What girlfriend?" Logan asked his eyes narrowing as he glared at his sister.

"Rory Gilmore. According to her Grandmother, you two are dating. Have been for some time now. It would have been awfully nice if you had informed your own family of this development. Instead of having me find out second hand from Emily Gilmore. You should have seen the look on her face when she told me."

Honor smirked at Logan as he placed his utensils back on the side of his plate. Shira turned her focus onto her daughter.

"You and Rory are close. Were you aware of this?"

"Um…"

"We're not together anymore, Mom." Logan said sternly. He was determined to end this topic of conversation right now. The last thing he needed was his family getting involved in his personal life. He had omitted telling his mother about him and Rory for a very good reason. First of all, Shira had never made any bones about the fact that she did not approve of Honor's friendship with 'the scandal Gilmore Girl's daughter'. He was fairly certain that if she found out that her very own son was dating her, she would've done everything in her power to put an end to it right away. He didn't need anymore people interfering in his relationship. He did a good enough job of screwing things up all by himself.

"Oh?" her voice was hopeful, Logan rolled his eyes. "What a shame."

Logan didn't respond. He picked up his glass of water and took a sip as silence descended amongst them once again.

"Whatever happened?" Shira's desire to know all the facts meant that the subject was not about to be dropped anytime soon.

"Your son is an idiot. That's what happened." Honor butted in and Logan sent her a warning look. She just shrugged and continued eating her dinner.

Shira studied Logan for a few moments waiting for him to say something.

"It just didn't work out." Logan said eventually, he tried to mask his true feelings but his sadness leaked through. Shira felt a stir of sympathy for her son. It evaporated swiftly as she considered the alternative. She definitely did not approve of Logan dating Rory Gilmore. She was certainly not a good match for a Huntzberger.

"Well, there are plenty more fish in the sea," she smiled trying to reassure him. Logan just stared at her. He said nothing though. He didn't want to get drawn into it.

"None as great as Rory though," Honor added much to her mother's chagrin. Logan gazed over to his sister and she held his stare for a few minutes. She tried to communicate just how serious she was with that look. She knew things between her and Rory were still delicate, but she also knew that Logan would never find anyone better than her best friend.

RLRLRLRLRL

Honor peered at her brother from the corner of her eye as they walked back to her dorm in silence. He had insisted on escorting her back for her own safety but she had a sneaking suspicion that he was only concerned about the possibility of bumping into her room mate, and she wasn't talking about Paris.

She still felt angry at her brother for his treatment of her best friend, but also, she felt a little bit sorry for him. Despite all of his experience with the opposite sex, he was completely clueless when it came to matters of the heart. She could see the strain it had put on him. He looked so defeated and dejected that a part of her wanted to reach out and give him a reassuring hug. He had always been there for her when she needed him. Now as he appeared so lost, she struggled within herself to return the favour. She wanted to remain loyal to Rory, even if Rory didn't really acknowledge it. She was on her side in all of this. But she did feel bad for her big brother. She frowned as she considered how messed up everything was. This was exactly the situation she had predicted happening. This was why she hadn't thought it a good idea for her best friend and her brother to be together, because she would ultimately end up in the middle of it all.

They finally reached her dorm room and she turned to face him. Logan was still lost in another world. She was going to say goodnight there and then but thought she would have mercy on him and invite him in. Sighing, she unlocked the door and walked inside. Logan silently followed her into the common room. She scanned the room for any sign of Rory, but she was nowhere to be seen. Honor figured she was probably tucked up in her room either reading or writing an article or paper.

"You know, you didn't have to walk me back. I'm a big girl. I would have been okay," she told him as she peeled off her coat. She noticed how Logan's eyes were automatically drawn to Rory's bedroom door.

"I just wanted to make sure you got home safely," he answered distractedly. Honor shook her head and smiled as she made a beeline for her bedroom.

"She'll be in her room if you want to talk to her," she informed as a smirk appeared on her face. Logan broke his stare and eyed her curiously. "Goodnight, Logan."

Logan stood staring after Honor and waited until she was closed away in her bedroom before returning his gaze to the other door; Rory's door. He wanted so desperately to see her. He had to talk to her, to try to explain why he hadn't shown up last night when he said he would. The way she had looked at him earlier in the hallway had stayed with him all day and he felt sick every time he pictured that hurt expression on her face. He wanted to punish her but he couldn't bear to cause her pain. Everything was so screwed up. His head was all over the place. He wanted Rory but he couldn't be with her. He loved her, but he needed time.

Taking a deep breath, he slowly made his way towards her bedroom door. He stood there for a few seconds trying to work up the nerve to actually knock on her door.

Closing his eyes, he let out a heavy sigh and then his fist connected with the wooden barrier that was standing between him and the woman he was so enthralled by.

"Come in," he heard her muffled voice call through the door and hesitantly he entered. He poked his head through the space and gave a tentative smile as he noticed her sitting at her desk staring at her computer screen. She looked up and met his gaze. He instantly noticed the moment she recognised him through the darkness. Her face fell and her eyes hardened.

"Hey," he pushed the door open wider and stood holding her gaze. "Can I come in?"

Rory watched him for a few seconds longer before returning her focus to the monitor in front of her. "What are you doing here?"

He took that as permission to enter and softly closed the door behind him. "I was just making sure Honor got back okay, I thought…" his voice trailed off and he stood in the middle of her room feeling completely exposed as she kept her eyes off him.

"I just wanted to see you," he tried again, "I wanted to apologise-"

"Apologise for what?" she turned on him, anger written clearly on her face.

"About last night. I should've called. I should've…I just…" he couldn't get the words out and her fiery eyes were making him nervous.

"I don't want to hear it, Logan. Whatever excuse you have-"

"Rory." He met her gaze and tried to convey his true emotions in one look.

"Were you laying unconscious in an alley somewhere?" she asked, her anger slowly brewing.

"No." Logan replied, shaking his head for emphasis.

"Did you get into some horrific car accident?"

"No."

"Did you lose your cell phone?"

"Rory…"

"I don't want to hear it, Logan. What possible reason could you have that would make this any better? I sat there like an idiot, waiting for you to show up and you didn't even have the decency to call me and tell me that you weren't coming," she spat at him. Logan sat on the edge of her bed and placed his head in his hands as she continued her attack. He knew she was right in everything she said. He couldn't justify his actions. He was a coward.

"I was here," he blurted out before he could stop himself. Rory frowned and stared at him in confusion.

"What?" He sighed and then lifted his gaze to meet hers.

"I stood outside your door for fifteen minutes. I just…I couldn't…I knew what would happen if I went through with it and I wasn't…ready," he explained, not sure if he understood himself.

"What are you talking about?" she spun around in her chair and was facing him directly, their knees were almost touching. Logan glanced up and for the first time he was able to get a good look at her. She looked tired and as emotionally drained as he was but she still looked as beautiful as she always did. A loose strand of chocolate brown hair escaped from behind her ear and he itched to reach out and tuck it back again.

"I wanted to see you. I wanted to talk to you, but I knew that I if I did I'd talk myself into forgetting everything and we'd get back together."

"Would that be such a bad thing?" Rory whispered the vulnerability was clear in her tone and in her eyes as he held her gaze. He couldn't help it anymore; he reached out and brushed her hair from her face. Electricity ran through him as he touched her skin. He had forgotten just how soft it was.

"I need to straighten things out in my own head first before we go jumping back into something but…" he sighed, "I don't know if I have the strength to fight it anymore."

She closed her sad eyes and leaned her cheek into his palm.

"I love you," she said softly, a solitary tear rolling down her cheek. Logan's heart ached and he couldn't help it, he leaned forward and tentatively brushed his mouth over hers. Her breath caught in her throat, surprised by his actions. In the space of a few seconds, she was up out of her chair, her arms wrapped around his neck, pushing him back onto the bed. The kiss deepened almost instantaneously and Logan couldn't help himself. He had missed her so badly that he didn't care if every ounce of sense he had was shouting at him to stop. He wanted to kiss her forever.

His hands found her waist and he rolled them over so he was on top of her. She moaned into the kiss and that was all it took for him to lose the last shred of restraint he had. He pulled back and tugged off his jacket. He then pulled his sweater off over his head and was back kissing her once again. It was a greedy, harsh kiss. Their tongues duelled, their hands grabbing every piece of exposed flesh. Logan moved his attention to her neck. He bit and nibbled on her soft skin, while unbuttoning her shirt. He placed a trail of open mouthed kisses over her chest and stomach as it became exposed to him. She wriggled underneath him and soon felt her fingers on his belt buckle. He moved slightly to give her space to finish undoing his belt and then the buttons on his pants. When she was done, he crashed his mouth down hard on hers as she helped him get rid of his pants.

He sucked her top lip and then her bottom lip into his mouth, nibbling on each one driving her crazy. Rory moaned into his mouth and then went about removing her own pants. Logan realised what she was doing and quickly stopped her by grabbing her hands. He wanted to do it.

"Wait," he breathed whilst staring lustfully down into her darkened eyes, "I want to see you." It had been so long since he had undressed her and he wanted to do it slowly, so he could commit every inch of her to his fading memories.

Rory's curious gaze met his and he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her stomach, just above her navel. Rory shuddered as his fingertips trailed lower on her abdomen. She watched as he slowly unbuckled and removed her belt. Then his fingers unhooked the button at the top of her jeans, and then moved onto the zipper. He held her gaze and slowly unzipped her pants. Rory lifted her hips to help him slide them off her, leaving her in just her pink bra and panties. Logan stared down at her with hungry eyes. She could see the need in his expression and she knew it was mirrored in her own eyes. She wanted him more than anything in the world. It had been so long since he had kissed her like this. It had been so long since he had looked at her like she was the only thing in the world to him. She missed that look. She missed him.

"Beautiful," he whispered huskily, his eyes fixed on her. Rory bit her lip nervously, waiting anxiously for him to touch her again.

Suddenly, his lips were kissing a trail down her stomach and over her lower abdomen, his fingers tucking into the waistband of her panties as he began tugging them down, anxious to see all of her. Before she knew what was happening, she felt his hot breath on her centre as he spread her legs apart and she bucked her hips in anticipation. He had one arm wrapped around her hip, the palm of his hand resting on her lower stomach. He applied pressure to her stomach with his hand, holding her still as he lowered himself down to taste her. He placed a tender kiss over her already wet core and then slowly brushed his tongue over the sensitised flesh. Rory moaned at the feeling of having him kiss her so intimately. She lifted her head off the pillow to watch him. His eyes met hers and then he smirked before dipping his tongue inside. Rory clung onto the covers as Logan went to work on her, nibbling and sucking on her clit, causing so many different emotions to flow through her.

Her breath shuddered as the pleasure he was providing her began to build towards a powerful crescendo. He surprised her by slipping two of his long, talented fingers inside of her, only adding to the intense burning in the pit of her stomach. She writhed uncontrollably and called out his name as his tongue and his fingers thrust inside of her, leading to one of the most overwhelming orgasms she had ever felt in her life.

"Oh my God!" She moaned loudly as the pleasure intensified and he sped up his efforts. She felt her muscles clench around his fingers as they curved into her, hitting that spot perfectly. He knew her body so well. He could play her like an instrument. Logan moaned against her soft flesh as she rode out the waves of her orgasm. He placed one last final kiss over her and then slowly withdrew his fingers from her as she lay still, panting.

He kissed his way back up her body and buried his face in her neck as she wrapped her arms around him. She felt his fingers working at the clasp of her bra, as he tried to remove the last of her clothing. He kissed his way up her neck and along her jaw line before meeting her lips in a long, passionate embrace. Rory was still reeling from his previous attentions but when she felt his erection pressing into her groin, she could only think of one thing. She wanted to feel him inside of her. She needed him. Slowly she ran her hands down his back and under his boxers and squeezed his firm behind. He groaned as she wrapped her legs around his waist, rubbing her core against him. She tried to remove his boxers with the aid of both her hands and her feet but she wasn't getting very far. Logan giggled as she became frustrated and then pulled out of the kiss and shoved the offending items off. Rory gave a sigh of appreciation as they lay there, flesh on flesh, completely exposed to one another. He gazed down into her blue orbs, searching for any sign that she wasn't sure but saw only love and desire staring back at him. He lowered himself down and gave her a deep, penetrating kiss that touched the depths of her soul. Then he slowly slid into her and breathed a long sigh of relief. He was finally home.

AN: *blushes* It's been a while since I wrote some smut for this pair. I was a bit rusty. Hope you all enjoyed and keep your eyes peeled for the next instalment coming soonish.