Dammit, Angie is not gonna be happy about this...
Don was having an especially busy week. Just when it seemed like things would settle down, there'd be another call out. There was some kind of virus going around the precinct and guys kept calling in sick, leaving the others who either hadn't caught it yet or were more or less over it and well enough to work, to take up the slack. He hadn't caught it yet but he figured it was only a matter of time. And it wasn't just a cold; it was the flu, and one that was bad enough to knock a New York City cop flat on his back. So he was taking vitamin C and washing his hands alot, hoping he could side-step it.
And while he was putting in over time covering for sick fellow officers, he and Angie had barely seen each other in over a week. Never mind that he was dead tired from working double shifts; he was going crazy with frustration at having to keep cancelling dates. He missed her terribly. So far she'd been understanding, but he worried that it was going to start to wear on her soon.
Shit. Well, I better call her and give her the bad news.
"Hey handsome," she said when she answered the phone.
"Hi baby. Hey listen, I gotta work again tonight."
"Oh Don! Not again!"
"I'm sorry Angie, but I have to. There's just too many guys out sick, and the rest of us have to cover the shifts. If I catch it someone'll have to cover for me. But in the meantime I have to help take up the slack."
"I know, but shit! I feel like I never get to even see you anymore."
"This won't go on forever sweetie."
He heard her heave a heavy sigh. "Ok, well, I guess we'll see each other at some point, huh?"
"You know we will."
"Do you have any idea what time you'll be done tonight?"
"Not a clue. Why?"
"Well, I thought maybe I could go over and stay at your place. One would assume that you'd come home at some point. We could see each other at least for a little while, sleep together if nothing else."
"That's all I'd have the energy for. I doubt I'd be good company, but if you want to..."
"I do. I'll make dinner and watch some movies or somethin'. You know I'm off tomorrow, right?"
"You are? Sorry, I totally forgot. How you gonna get over there?"
"I'll walk or take the bus."
"Can't you get a ride from someone?"
"Maybe. Why?"
"Cause your gonna be out after dark, and I'd feel better if you weren't out walkin' or on the bus."
"Ok, I'll try to get a ride, but I'm going over there one way or the other. You want me to call you when I get to your place?"
"Yeah, and if I don't answer leave me a voicemail."
"Ok, I'll call you."
"Good. Look, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later. I love you."
"I love you too. Bye."
He hung up the phone. Jesus, I need some coffee.
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By the time he got home it was almost midnight. He let himself in and locked the door behind him. Angie had left the lamp on for him. He smiled at that. She'd been cooking at some point; he could smell it lingering in the air. If he hadn't been so tired he would have gone in search of leftovers, but at this point all he wanted was to collapse into bed.
He took the time to brush his teeth and then stripped down to his t-shirt and boxers. He climbed into the bed beside his sleeping girlfriend. She stirred, woke up and turned toward him.
"I was hopin' I wouldn't wake you." he said.
"It's ok. What time is it?"
"About midnight. I am so fuckin' tired I can't see straight."
Angie snuggled up against him and kissed him on the cheek.
"Go to sleep." she said.
The next thing he knew, the alarm was going off at 6am. He groaned and hit the snooze button. He rolled over, and then he smelled coffee brewing. Oh, bless you my sweet lady.
He dozed off until the alarm went off again nine minutes later. He hit the snooze button again. Come on, Flack. Get up. He opened his eyes and saw Angie coming into the room. She was showered and dressed, her hair still damp.
"I smell coffee." he said. Then he noticed she was holding a mug in her hand. She held it out to him.
"I'm gonna make breakfast for you. You'd better get up. I know you don't want to."
He sat up and took the mug from her. He breathed in the scent of the brew and then took a long sip.
"I'm havin' a hard time wakin' up. This'll help."
"You're not getting enough sleep."
"I'll be ok. Thanks for the coffee sweetie."
"My pleasure."
After his shower, Don was treated to bacon, eggs, fried potatoes and toast. It was lovely to have Angie cook for him. She was getting to be a pretty good cook thanks to Marilyn, and although this breakfast was nothing he couldn't have made for himself, her having fixed it for him made it feel special.
"Couldn't they get some guys from another precinct to fill in for the sick ones?" she asked him.
"I guess, but if they get sick and take it back with them we could have the entire police force down."
"Well that makes sense, but they're working you to death, Don."
"I'm not the only one, baby. I just keep thinkin' about the overtime pay."
"Well it's not gonna help you if you're dead."
He couldn't help but chuckle at that. "It's not gonna kill me to work some OT, Angie."
"I know. I just hate it that you're having to work so hard."
"I can handle it, trust me."
Angie got up from the table and took the plates and utensils to the sink. She poured him another cup of coffee, and then sat back down.
"I don't know if I could handle working such long hours." she said.
"Well, it wears on me but I do love my job, and that makes it easier. And criminals work all hours of the day and night. You know that."
"I know that? Why, because I used to be one of them?"
"I didn't say that. I just pointed out that crooks are doin' their thing around the clock, that's all."
"But you said that I know that. Like I'm dialed in to their schedules or something."
"Angie, I was just makin' conversation. I wasn't sayin' anything about you."
She just looked at him. He realized that she was angry. What the fuck?
"I wasn't sayin' anything about you! Look, you gotta get off this 'I'm an ex-con' thing. That's behind you. Let it go."
"Why should I let it go? You haven't."
Don shook his head. "You're not makin' any sense, Angie. You're tryin' to pick a fight with me, and I didn't do anything to deserve it."
"You're the one who said that I should know what hours crooks keep."
"Would you stop it? I didn't say that. Jesus! What the hell, Angie? Why are you doin' this?"
She suddenly got up from the table. "I'm going home. Have a nice day catching criminals Don."
"Wait a minute. You can't just pick a fight with me and then walk out in the middle of it."
"Watch me."
"I don't believe this. This isn't fair Angie. What's wrong with you today?"
"You know what? Fuck you Don." She grabbed her purse and jacket and walked out on him, slamming the door behind her, leaving him sitting at the table, shocked and confused.
Ok, what the fuck was that all about? The last thing he was expecting this morning was to have a fight with Angie. Shit. That was our first fight. She just walked out on me! And I still don't know what she's really angry about. Damn. Maybe it's because I haven't been around much. But what is this dialed into the schedules of criminals crap? Dammit, I wish she'd let go of all that. What do I have to do to convince her that I don't see her as a criminal, or even a former criminal. She's the woman I love. That's who I see. Clearly there were still some unresolved issues there. But he didn't have time to worry about it now. He had to get to work.
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Angie trudged up the stairs and unlocked the door to the apartment. Marilyn would be in the store so she'd have some time to herself to sort out her feelings and figure out why she had picked a fight with Don. The walk home had given her time to think and now she was angry at herself for going off on him, because she knew he was right. He hadn't done anything to deserve it. The poor guy had been working his ass off for over a week, pulling double shifts, barely getting any sleep, and here she was being a stone bitch to him. All he'd done was try to make conversation. She flopped onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. Lying down made her think about being in bed with him, making love, laughing, cuddling, sleeping, and suddenly she started to cry. She was appalled at herself for the way she'd treated him. But why did I go off like that? Why did what he said piss me off so much? It was the comment that I know what hours criminals keep...
In a flash, what she'd heard described as an "aha moment", she knew where the anger had come from.
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It was another long, busy day. Don arrived at the crime lab with some info for Mac, which he delivered and then went looking for Danny. He found him with Lindsay, going over some stuff on the computer. She left the room when Don showed up, but she said hello to him on her way out.
"Hey Lindsay," he said.
"Hi Flack. You look tired."
"Too many hours and not enough sleep. I wish this damn flu would quit knockin' people down like dominos so we can all get back to a normal routine."
"Better take care of yourself or you'll be next." Lindsay said.
"I know. I'm hopin' it'll side-step me but I probably won't be that lucky."
"I hear it's a nasty flu. Well, I'll see you later and I hope you don't catch it. I'll let you know what I find, Danny."
"Thanks Montana." Danny looked at Don. "Lindsay's right. You look half dead."
"That's about how I feel. And as if I'm not burned out enough from workin' so much, Angie and I had our first big fight this mornin'."
"Well actually that's pretty good, that it took this long for it to happen. What was it about, or should I ask?"
"That's what's weird. I don't really know what set her off. Well, I know what I said that set her off but I don't know why. She walked out on me."
"Get outta here."
"Yeah, and what sucks is that I don't know when I'll be able to get together with her and talk it out."
"You think all your overtime has somethin' to do with it?"
"I think it may have aggravated it. It has somethin' to do with her past, you know, her criminal record. Apparently there are still some unresolved issues there."
"Hm, I wish I had some advice to give you."
"Ah, it's ok. We'll work it out. It was just a fight, not a breakup."
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The storm at work finally started to blow over the next day. Don actually got off work at a decent hour, and was told to take the next day off. Considering the fact that he hadn't had a day off in several days and had been working double shifts, he wasn't about to argue the point.
Instead of going home, he headed for the store. I gotta talk this thing out with Angie. I can't let another day go by where we don't see or talk to each other. He climbed the steps to the apartment, knocked on the door and waited.
Marilyn answered the door. "Hey honey, come on in.They finally cut you loose, huh?"
"Finally is right. How ya doin' Marilyn?"
"Fairly well, but there's someone here you need to get back in touch with."
"That's why I'm here."
"She's in her room."
Don went to Angie's door and knocked softly. She has to know I'm here. She'd have heard my voice... The door opened and he came face to face with her. She looks like she's been crying...
"Hi," he said.
"Hi. Come in." She turned and went back into the room. He followed her in and closed the door behind him. She sat on the bed, and he sat beside her, close enough that their bodies were in contact. He'd missed being close to her, missed it so much over the last several days. He put his arm around her shoulders. He looked at her, but she didn't look at him; she was staring at the floor.
Suddenly she burst into tears. He winced inwardly. It hurt to see her cry. He pulled her against him and held her while she sobbed. He let her get it all out and hoped that once she did that she'd be able to tell him what she was so upset about. Finally she stopped crying and sat up. She grabbed a few tissues from the box on the bedside table. She wiped her face and blew her nose. Don didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
She took a deep breath and looked at him. "I must be a scary sight right now, huh?"
"You're beautiful, just like always."
"Don, I am so sorry that I went off on you like that."
"Apology accepted. But what set you off?"
"When you said that I should know what hours criminals keep."
"Angie..."
"No, let me finish, let me get this out. I've had a lot of time to think about it. It's not you. I realized that I'm still having a hard time with the ex-con thing. I thought I'd put it behind me, but obviously I haven't yet. When you said that, I got defensive, and I projected it back on you. What it boils down to is that I was feeling like I'm not good enough for you and that I never will be. You were spending all this time chasing bad guys, which I used to be, and somehow in my mind I got stuck in this loop that it was my fault that you were having to work so hard. I know that doesn't make any sense, but it was like I had lumped myself back in with that crowd, even though I'm not part of it anymore.
If it hadn't been for you, I might still be out there, and it would be me you were trying to collar. I owe so much of my rehab to you. You saved me, Don, and I had a moment yesterday when I felt like I didn't deserve it."
Don took all this in. Clearly she had been thinking about it alot. He was actually impressed by how well she'd managed to sort it out. And up until that moment he hadn't realized just how much of an impact he'd had on her life. He was somewhat taken aback by the revelation.
"And now that you've had time to work through this, how do you feel?"
"Like a stone bitch for putting you through that, even though I didn't understand it myself at the time."
"Is that all?" There had to be more than that.
"No. I realize that I can't keep punishing myself for what I did in my past. I've done my time, I've turned my life around and I deserve a shot at happiness. And it's ok for me to be with you."
"Just ok?"
"You know what I mean. I'm saying that I'm worthy of the love you give me."
He smiled. "That's what I wanted to hear."
"I can't promise that this won't ever come up again, but I think that each time it does it'll get easier, until finally it's a non-issue."
"Com'ere." he said. She let him pull her into a hug. "I love you so much, Angie Watson."
"And I love you, Don Flack. And I don't ever want to hurt you, and I'm so sorry that I did."
"Let's just put it behind us and move forward, ok? No more beating yourself up." She nodded. Then she started to cry again. He held her close, stroked her hair, and let her cry. She is a woman, after all. A very emotional woman. And I wouldn't want her any other way.
