Undeterred by his sudden mood change or the bitterness in his voice, she said "Yeah, I left you. I left because you couldn't decide what you wanted." Leaning back in her seat, she looked him straight in the eyes and said "It seems nothing has changed."

"You're wrong. I knew what I wanted. I wanted a wife, a warm home to come back to each night. I wanted stability, constancy in our lives. I was not prepared to travel the world, moving from city to city." Forcefully running his fingers through his hair, he took a deep breath and continued "We were at different crossroads in our lives and deep down neither of us were prepared to make the sacrifice. But despite all that, I wanted us to work out…but then you upped and left town without so much as a "good-bye"."

Filled with guilt, she reached across the table and placed her hand over his. "I shouldn't have left you like that. It was cowardly and wrong. I tried to make amends, but when I came back I discovered that you found solace in the arms of that witch."

"Addison was a mistake," he said, feeling disheartened.

"I'm glad you admitted it. Too bad it took the slutty bitch to jump into bed with another man to make you realize that." Dani never liked Addison. That fact was obvious when Mark first introduced them at a party. She and Derek were still together at the time and the looks Addison gave him would always send Dani into a fitting rage.

"She didn't cheat on me with just any man, Dani. She cheated on me with Mark."

"That fucking manwhore!" she exclaimed, causing a few of the people sitting nearby to look at her in surprise.

"Can you lower your voice, please? I don't want the whole bar to know every single detail of my life." He could feel all eyes on him and fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Er…too late for that one. You and the little firecracker have been more than entertaining tonight." She gave a light-hearted laugh and looked over to see him smiling too. "You love her, don't you?"

"Yes," he said without hesitation. "When I'm with Meredith, she makes me feel alive. I look forward to waking up in the morning and going into work knowing I get to see her. I love everything about her – her smile, the way she chews on her lower lip when she's deep in thought, her tendency to fidget with her watch when she's nervous, her laugh…it's not one of those girlish giggles but a heartfelt laugh that makes your heart soar whenever you hear it, and her eyes...they just draw you in and hold you captive, also the way her hair smells…I think she said it was lavender, and her tiny little ineffectual fists that fit so perfectly into mine. So yes...I love her." He knew he sounded like a lovesick puppy rambling on about her, but those are the qualities that he finds so endearing about her.

"And now she hates you," she said, stating the obvious.

"She hates me because she saw us kiss. It was the stupidest thing I've ever done."

"Yeah. That ranks up there with marrying Satan."

"Don't go there. Not tonight." He gave her a warning look and finished the rest of this drink. "Why the hell did you kiss me anyway?"

"Hey! Need I remind you that it was a two-way street?"

"Did you…did you feel something?" he asked, his brows furrowed together as though he's trying to figure out what that feeling was. "I mean, were you affected by it?"

"Affected how?" she asked, not sure where he was getting at.

"No offense or anything—." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Uh-oh…. It's never a compliment when people start their sentences off with "no offense", but go on."

"Well, it felt like kissing a cold fish."

"You really are an insensitive oaf, do you know that?" she yelled, trying to hit the back of his head.

"I'm being serious. I mean…we were once engaged. I don't remember our kisses ever leaving me feeling…cold. Doesn't that strike you as being a little weird?" he asked, looking perplexed.

"I mean this in the most loving way, but for a brain surgeon you really are brainless. Haven't you considered the possibility that the reason you felt nothing is because you're in love with someone else?"

"I guess you're right."

"What do you mean "you guess"…of course I'm right!"

"I've screwed up and now she doesn't want to stay married to me."

"Whoa!" she exclaimed, nearly falling off her chair. "You two are married? Wh-when did that happen?"

"It's complicated."

"Stop pussyfooting around or I swear I will throttle that arrogant throat of yours!" She gave him a deadly stare and asked "Is this why she asked me if I knew you were married?"

"Yes."

"I thought she was talking about firecrotch."

"Dani!" He gave her a stern glare and looked around hoping no one heard. "You're incorrigible! And stop calling Addison names."

"Sorry," she apologized, but she still gave him a defiant look. "I didn't have anything else to read on the plane except those dirty rag magazines."

"Well, get your mind out of the gutter for a minute and help me with this."

"No way! You dug yourself a big hole and I'm not climbing in there with you. I think I'd much rather enjoy seeing her bury you in it."

"You're spiteful."

"This," she said, waving her hand between the space that separated them "is nothing compared to the firecracker's wrath when she sees you." She leaned back, smiling satisfactorily to herself. She loves Derek and hate to see him hurting like this, but a small part of her is going to relish seeing him squirm at the mercy of a woman for once. "Now tell me everything…from the start."

Meredith burst out of the bar running as fast and as far away as her legs would carry her. Her vision was blurred by the tears that came streaming down her face. She vigorously wiped them away, but the more she wiped the faster the tears fell. In her haste to get away, she recklessly rounded the corner and ran straight into the street. Turning her head, she saw a pair of headlights coming her way but she froze, unable to move. She stood there watching the lights as they came closer, but her legs refused to move her from the spot. She closed her eyes, preparing herself for the impact and flinched when she heard the deafening sound of tires screeching on the pavement.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?!" Cristina yelled as she flung herself out of the passenger seat and grabbed Meredith, pulling her to the sidewalk. Izzie parked the car and ran over to see if she was okay.

"Kill myself?" she asked, looking at Cristina dazed and confused.

"Yes, you idiot! Didn't you see—." She stopped yelling when she saw Meredith's tear-stained face. "What happened? I thought you and Shepherd were okay."

Meredith slowly turned to look at her friend, her face expressionless. "I…he…they…," she panted, struggling to articulate her thoughts and explain what she'd seen.

"Are you okay, Mer?" Izzie reached over and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Can't…breathe…," she said, barely able to get the words out. Her throat felt dry and tight, her head befuddled from the alcohol still flowing through her bloodstream.

"You need to sit down. Let's go inside." Izzie gently tugged on her arm, pulling her in the direction of Joe's bar.

"NO!" she yelled, yanking her arm away."I don't want to go in there. I can't." Wrapping her arms around herself, she fell back against the wall for support.

Cristina looked in the direction of the bar, then back to her friend seeing that she was visibly shaken and said "Okay, we won't go inside." She came up to Meredith, wrapped her arm around her shoulders and said "Let's take you home."

Meredith lay curled up inside her bed, her eyes red from the tears she shed earlier. She was physically and emotionally exhausted and wanted nothing more than to disappear. As she lay in her room, letting the darkness drown her in her sorrow she heard the door open to reveal the silhouette of Cristina standing in the doorway. Without saying a word, she climbed into bed and wrapped her arms around her. The tears Meredith didn't think she had left came rushing out in an emotional hailstorm and shook her body as she gave in and cried herself to sleep.

Cristina was leaning against the nurse's desk reviewing a patient's chart when Derek came up to stand beside her.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Yang." She turned to give him a dirty look, then returned to the charts without saying a word.

"I was wondering if you knew where Mer…I mean, where Dr. Grey is today." He knew he was making a mistake even talking to her, given the cold deathly stare she'd given him but he needed to find Meredith. He'd spent a good part of the morning trying to look for her, but she was nowhere to be found.

Slamming the file shut, she gathered her stuff and stormed off in the direction of the elevators. Derek hesitated for a second, but ran after her and stealthily slid inside as the doors were closing. Seeing the look on her face, he wasn't so sure if it was such a wise move as he looked around and realized they were alone in the small confines of the elevator.

"I know Meredith hates—." He stopped speaking when he saw her move to pull the Stop button on the panel. The elevator jolted to a sudden stop and she turned to glare at him.

"Right here, right now…you are not my boss, you get that?" she hissed, her eyes shooting daggers at him. "You have no right to ask where or how Meredith is doing. You lost that right when you decided to play tongue hockey with that slut of a friend of yours."

"Dr. Yang—," he tried to explain.

"Shut up!" she yelled, consumed by her rage. "I watched my friend cry herself to sleep because of you. She deserves nothing but happiness and that is something you can never give her, so use what little brain cells you have and walk away. If you come near her again, I will kill you and that is a promise."

She pushed the button and waited impatiently for the elevator to start back up again. She didn't like being in close proximity with him. The urge to cause him physical pain was overwhelming and the longer they were alone together, the harder it was to control the urge. She clenched her fists tighter feeling her nails biting into her hands hoping the urge would subside. It didn't.

Standing a few feet behind her, Derek was struggling to grasp everything that Cristina had said. His heart fell when he heard that Meredith cried herself to sleep. She was hurting and he was the cause of that pain. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks and suddenly the need to find her became so intense it was suffocating. He knew it wasn't going to be easy to convince her to forgive him. Hell, he didn't know if she was ever going to talk to him, let alone forgive him but he needed to try. He was ready for whatever obstacles stood in his way and right now that obstacle was in the form of a very feisty friend who was not only figuratively but literally standing in his way.

"I know I don't deserve her, but I love her and I can't let her go without a fight. She's become an integral part of my life…my better half even. I need her…we need each other and you can threaten to cause me physical harm or even death but I will continue to fight for her as long as there's a drop of breath left in my body."

"Those are just words," she said, still facing forward. "You want to gain her trust again? Prove to her that you love her. Use your head for once and I'm not talking about your overeager penis." The doors opened and she walked out, leaving him to stare at her in shocked silence.