A/N: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey lovelies! How have you been? Alright? I am so so so so sorry for the prolonged absence, life happened. I won't start explaining myself because it'll be just excuses for the most part so I humbly apologise for not meeting my deadline. I will do better, I'll try.
Going on to the story, maaaaaaaaaan, this chapter went away from me. Before I knew it I had reached 11.000 words and I hadn't even gotten around to the big, big event so I decided to pull the plug a little earlier and keep the inspiration rolling for the next one. Hope you like.
Fun fact: Eiji can also mean second son. It was intentional, but not really. I was really liking the name for this guy and then I did a small search for what it means and this popped up so...I knew I had to keep it.
Historical facts: Matsudaira Toshihime, Saku and Kiyo are Matsudaira Katamori's wives.
Timeline: February 9th - 14th, 1864.
A fine lady...
...and choices.
Dinner that night wasn't that pleasant of an affair. Tokio was subdued through it all, preferring to keep quiet and keep to herself. She rarely participated in any of the conversations, forcing Tsuki to take on that role herself, even if it was obvious the poor sixteen-year-old was nearly as worldly as her sister. The two times she actually participated was when she was asked a question about stitches by Hijikata himself – who apparently had some two months ago but still bothered him –.
In true Tokio fashion, she scolded the man for not coming to her earlier, while giving ten different type of advice to all present for dealing with similar situations, as well as aftercare for such trauma in case a doctor – or at least a competent one – wasn't around. She made him promise he's visit her as soon as they got back at the estate, seeing there was no available room here. He accepted.
The second time she spoke, was when a very delicate subject was brought up, all by coincidence: the red-light district. Matsudaira had made an offhand, seemingly innocent comment about the Shinsengumi's men's obvious preference for that place…and it was almost instinctive at this point how three of the five lower-ranking men snapped their eyes at Tokio in slight fear or concern. Harada had no idea while Takeda soured almost as much as Tokio in the mention of that place.
She then scoffed and proceeded to express her dislike.
"As if women – and some boys – do not have to suffer many misfortunes in their lives," she had started "they have to suffer strange men touching them, too. Most of the women in those places are either bought through slavery or as collateral because of someone else's debt—usually a father or a husband. Some are simply taken. How vile and ridiculous. And yet we support this system solely because it has become a standard in our society and we accept it, without further judgement, taking it for granted, thus perpetuating a wholly unhealthy and unethical practice."
Everyone at the table gave her a different sort of, but mixed with surprise, look. Oh no; it seems the topic of marriage, being as unwanted as it was to her, combined with her mother's ultimatum of sorts, rubbed her off the wrong way and she spoke without thinking! None of what she said was something she did not believe, but this was not the moment to say it. Plus, it was so embarrassing; four men at this dinner table frequented those places.
"…I do not blame every single man to step foot in there; I simply blame those who constitutionalised and normalised this otherwise savage practise. But once something becomes the norm, it becomes harder to abolish, I do understand that."
She wanted to bury her head under the table; why did she have to say all those things? Her cheeks had turned so red, it was unprecedented. And no one would say anything, even after her attempt to defang her statement a little.
"You certainly have your own way of seeing it, Tokio-chan," once more Okita saved the day "and none of what you said is wrong…but I suppose I never thought of it like that, not really. To me is just someone to keep me entertained with music or dance! It's just harmless fun."
"Indeed, there are many men like you and I don't question your motives or anyone's at this table," she purposefully looked at Nagakura who must have been in apoplexy stage three because of her by now "I simply expressed another opinion. There are many cruel men who visit said places only to find an easy victim after all…"
"That's true," Okita intervened again, bless his soul "I was witness to such an event once, almost arrested him. But the moment he realised I was Shinsengumi, he skipped."
"How horrible," her mother commented in an effort to get the conversation going "I hope he didn't harm you."
"Oh no, not at all; cowards rarely do."
"Depends; cowards are a double-edged sword," Harada interjected "if they betray you, you're done for. But it they are on the other side, you make easy work of the enemy."
And just like that, the conversation shifted from red-light districts to battle tactics and later on heroic feats of the men seating at this table, effectively drawing attention away from a now thoroughly dispirited Tokio. It was for the best; she wouldn't be over this until tomorrow, but from tomorrow on, she'd do her best to make these days memorable.
That didn't mean no one noticed; even if everyone's attention was turned elsewhere after the little incident, her declining mood slipping by unnoticed, one man was doing nothing but paying attention to her all evening, noting how she was much more withdrawn and introverted than usual. She wouldn't even smile to people when they happened to cross looks. And after her little outburst, he was finally certain: something was wrong. And when she did nothing to engage anyone again, he knew this was a matter that needed to be addressed.
After dinner followed a small gathering for some drink that only men decided to hold; the women wanted the sleep. Tokio felt too guilty to even fight for her right to be there while she was too ashamed to meet her mother or sister's eyes…so she decided to walk. The inn they were staying at offered an idyllic view of the waterfalls; it was a no brainer. Her feet carried her easily through the bushes and the flowers. The snow was starting to melt; it was a slow but enchanting process. And with the imposing bodies of water as a backdrop, everything felt even more beautiful.
She took a deep breath; she tried to calm herself. Yet much like the never-ending flow of water in front of her, her stream of consciousness would not stop.
"Is everything alright?"
She never heard him approach but his voice caused her no surprise or panic. Somehow, it helped her mind clear a little. So she simply asked "do you like the hot springs Hajime?"
He raised an eyebrow; not too subtle a diversion. "Yes, they are quite lovely. Not exactly as you drew them, but I have the suspicion that's because you drew the women's side."
"You are quite smart…"
"We have already established this." She chuckled, thus he dared to ask again. "Is everything alright?"
"Yes; and no. I'm in-between."
He watched her with the edge of his eyes but otherwise kept looking where she was looking, the waterfall. "Is this about the mysterious prospect?" She didn't nod per se but her pout all but confirmed it. "I thought you said he's harmless."
"He is; I bet he'll be out the door in less than a day." A pause. "There will be others though."
"Others, huh?"
"A rich man's young daughter who happens to be the favourite to inherit the family, thus her husband will be the lord of the estate; the daughter of the same rich man who happens to be good friends with the Aizu-han and communicates with him on an almost weekly basis…yeah. There will be many to take his place. I am not rid of the source of the problem, never will be."
He remained silent. What was there to say to that? He was the one who had told her something similar once upon a time...He could do nothing but be silent, and feel miserable with her. After all, this matter of her getting married off to some guy she never met, started causing him misery, too, he wasn't being disingenuous.
"I thought of running away once; but that'll end with me either dying or ending up in some whorehouse and neither of those options seem an improvement. I could be picked up by some farmer, but that is too slim of a chance." She chuckled. "Rural life would suit me though! I am good with fields and herbs; and small villages always need a doctor—I could make a killing." She chuckled again and this once it sounded even sadder than before. "But what are the chances of that happening?"
"Chances are you being found within two days after you run away, if we're being realistic. Depending on where you ran away from, maybe even the same day."
She started laughing, the reality of it all being too much yet too little at the same time. "Imagine having Harada and Okita looking for you; or me. Worse, Nagakura; you're done. You aren't going anywhere."
She kept laughing, quietly but heartfelt. "But if it's any of you, I could convince you to look the other way…!"
"No way; you have a better chance staking Okita would simply ask for your hand again." This once her laughter was louder. "Nagakura would be too mortified to allow that to happen—maybe Harada would give in, if you cried. He's weak against tears."
"Dully noted. And you?"
His eyes turned to her sharp. "I'd rather cut off my left hand than disobey a direct order."
She smiled but it wasn't a usual one; there was a glint in her eye and challenge in her brow. "Oh, is that so? No chance whatsoever?"
"None; don't mess with me. I'll put you on my shoulder if I have to."
She laughed. "Not even if I told you I had arranged for a friend to take me to Hokkaido and practise my medicine there?" He shook his head. "What if I told you I am eloping?"
"Then there's definitely no chance."
"What if I bribed you," she asked between giggles "what about then?" He shook his head emphatically. "What if I told you Teruhime-sama was the mastermind?"
"Two birds with one stone."
"What if I threatened you?"
He snorted with laughter. "I'd like to see you try."
"You're intransigent!" He seemed to take pleasure in that. "What if I showed you my fake papers for a new identity?" He still shook his head no. "What if I asked you to come with me?"
She regretted her words as soon as they left their prison. The good mood that had been created all around, came to a screeching halt; something not quite awkward but savouring uncomfortable hovered between them, something permanently left unsaid just at the tip of their tongues, causing both to look away or stare at the waterfall with a vengeance. So long as they didn't look at each other...!
Say something you stupid broad, she mentally shouted, make this less painful!
"I would never run away, not really. I would never be able to see any of my family again, or tend to Teruhime-sama…or see any of the people I care about. But sometimes, when I think about it, I feel like I can't breathe. So, I make up ridiculous scenarios to keep myself engaged with something, don't pay too much attention to me…"
"If you feel so strongly about it, why don't you tell your father? He seems to love you enough to do as you want."
"Father is headstrong; that's where I take it from, mother says. If he's made up his mind about something, there's no changing it. And he truly believes this is the way I will find true happiness, he does love me."
She took a deep breath.
"Did you know, Matsudaira-sama says I am like a daughter to him?" Her voice shook; he figured there must be more behind this so, he simply nodded yes. "Just as I was about to turn sixteen, Matsudaira-sama had an idea. Why don't I marry his son, he'd said, only for formality reasons? His son is barely a toddler, so practically, he'd be making me his caretaker, his older sister. But that way, I'd enter the family…and until he became old enough to take over, I'd be the one helping him."
Saitou looked at her in an entirely different light then.
"Wh, when father heard, he felt deeply honoured…but was also against it. Fundamentally! That was no way for me to be happy, he'd said, and if we were already talking about marriage then…maybe it was time for him to seriously start looking." She tried not to cry. "And now here we are." She tried her best not to let the tears fall, struggling with her watery eyes, her breaking voice. "I can't help but feel…it's my fault. When I hadn't even finished my-…"
She stopped; she wouldn't cry, she promised. She would not be like this. She'd face everything with a smile. She wasn't even truly concerned about the guy, what was up with all the sentimentality? She aired herself in an effort to calm down, but couldn't, tried as she might. She was always one step away from uncontrollably outright bawling.
"It is not your fault; but it is your cross to bear." His hand rested on her shoulder. "I can only hope I can make it a little lighter for you…we all do."
Surprisingly, that stopped the urge to cry; when she looked up and saw him just as serious as her, her misery diffused between the two of them and was suddenly bearable. Trying her hardest not to grab him and bury her face in his clothes, she took a deep, calming breath. She graced him with a watery smile.
"Thank you, Hajime." Then she looked behind her back. "I should be getting back to my room…try to get some sleep. Mother warned me we'd be waking up early to visit the hot springs again before we leave."
"Hijikata did the same," he admitted surprised "I think he actually likes them, but doesn't visit in Kyoto because he has to ask for permission."
She chuckled. "I cannot imagine that man asking for permission to do anything."
He shook his head. "You'd be surprised."
"Goodnight, Hajime," she said between all sorts of smiles "see you tomorrow."
She walked away, feeling better than before…while a part of her shoulder felt like burning. Just as Saitou's hand did, for the second time in his life.
.
.
The morning bath was nearly as eventful this once; they went in, out and on their merry ways. As uneventful as ever, they got dried, dressed, had a rich breakfast and then in the carriage they went. Well, for her at least; the men took the horses—only Matsudaira-sama rode with them. And Takeda, but he was treated as an afterthought by almost everyone present.
The small trip was also very clean-cut. The four hours they were on the road offered plenty of chance for the horses to run, as the riding party went ahead numerous times to make sure no one was waiting to ambush them, while giving the men room to breathe. Hijikata in particular, who had been in a permanent state of anxiety from the moment they arrived, looked the one most refreshed.
So did Tokio, strangely enough. Giving up control of her life while at the same time receiving support from Hajime helped her regain her spirit! Everyone noticed; the entire trip back was ten times happier than expected. So much so, that Hijikata had to give Saitou a look full of concern and suspicion. When he just shrugged as a response, mouthing I only told her to hang in there, he gave up. Maybe the woman was just moody. He couldn't know Saitou conveniently left out the important part, even if he wasn't technically lying.
The entire day passed in such a fashion in fact. Even when she had to write the invitation to the mystery prospect, a young man of twenty-five winters named Eiji Rentarou, she still didn't feel worse. In actuality, she didn't feel bad even when the new prospect did arrive, half a day later.
He too lived in Aizu, as the invitation was delivered the same day while it only took an hour to get from his house, to hers. She was starting to see why her father chose this candidate out of all: he was very close to home thus would bring her back, too. Inconsequential; he'd never be her husband that much was certain.
When everyone first lay eyes on the mystery man, they were surprised. He was a young man, with long brown hair tied up elegantly; he bowed the moment he met them and they could see he followed the ceremony perfectly. And as he came close enough to inspect, they saw the beauty in his face. The only surprising part of him was his voice, full of burr. And when he saluted everyone they all bowed back, per custom. Formalities lasted a long time; of course, the five "lesser" Shinsengumi men were never there to greet him, only Kondou and Hijikata made it; hence, when they finally caught a glimpse of him at the formal dinner, they were all startled. Seeing him on Tokio's side, shamelessly standing so close to almost touch her, they all exchanged looks between them—even Takeda had to frown at the impropriety.
Tokio had kept her spirits up, though; Saitou could read her mood like no other and she appeared unbothered by the man's daring move. Could it be, she was almost pleased he did what he did. Maybe it had to do with the fact both her father and Matsudaira-sama looked upon him with suspicion. Sure, this was some sort of matchmaking dinner, but he didn't have to completely throw away the fact he was still under scrutiny.
He was only invited to dinner after all; he was never invited to stay the night.
So, despite his good looks and pleasant personality, for the most part, the two men who needed to like him, so far were on the fence. No wonder she could barely hide her satisfaction, even if she had to repeatedly move her shoulder out of his touching range. She had to do it so often, in fact, that Saitou wanted to just swat him away—all of him. Couldn't he see he was making her uncomfortable? But he refrained.
Hijikata was of the opinion this man was an idiot. Saitou, whom he himself had once inwardly scolded for standing too close to her, was much more prudent: he would do it only when no one was around to witness it. This one simply didn't care, probably considered himself married to her already. Huh; he had to admit though, they'd have beautiful children, should a union like that happen. Both parents were good looking.
And when it came to assets, this one had it all, both the looks and the riches. One reason Okita wanted to pout and kept making mean comments about him under his breath to Saitou, was because this guy was a small lord all on his own. His father a lord, too, rich as rich can be, he grew up in the right sort of way with knowledge of managing a large estate. But being a second son, he had no real claims to the family's larger inheritance…thus, making him a perfect candidate to lead the Takagi family and take their last name. Takagi Eiji didn't sound bad either and Kojuuro was starting to look willing to let a little shamelessness slide.
While Eiji was making good conversation in general, even made Matsudaira laugh, and just as Tokio was starting to worry about this match after all – what was her mother thinking – a seemingly innocuous topic was reached that produced amazing results.
"Toshihime wanted to be a scribe before marrying me, actually," Matsudaira said off handed, looking at his wife lovingly "but our union killed the idea dead, I am afraid."
"Oh merciful, kind Buddha," he said with passion "you were spared a dreadful future my lady, if I may; no woman should ever be educated."
Everyone's head snapped up to the man; Tokio's hope that was about to be extinguished altogether, was rekindled. But the man must have missed the caution on every person's face, as he kept talking.
"When women are educated, they start having opinions; before you know it, they don't listen to you, do whatever pops up in their naïve little heads, causing a mountain of problems for any household…imagine if they are the ones leading it, in the absence of the husband." He shook his head. "No, no; women are more than adequate being as innocent and unpolluted by modern ideas of the world as possible. Educating them is tantamount to inviting the thief in our homes."
Okita looked at Saitou; Saitou looked at Nagakura; Nagakura looked at Harada; Harada looked at Hijikata; Hijikata looked at Kondou; Kondou looked at Takeda; Takeda looked at the Aizu-han who in turn gave Kojuuro a look; Kojuuro glanced at his wife perplexed. And the women just stood there, looking flabbergasted at each other.
"Pardon, what?"
"I am strongly against women being educated; nothing could be worse than an educated wife, other than a cheating wife."
"But women who are educated have many virtues," Saku started, trying to be the pacifier, knowing the shit storm that was bound to be let loose "they hold better conversations, help with managing the household, know how to face difficulties in the husband's absence…"
"Why would the husband be absent for too long without his wife? That only happens in low class families."
Saitou smirked; now he knew why her mother was so sure this arranged marriage would fail. Now he could finally relax.
"They can keep their husbands entertained better, too," Toshihime argued.
But he dismissed the idea completely, waving her off. "Nonsense." He had this superior look on his face that Saitou wished Tokio would paint and then show it to everyone, just to make fun of him once he stopped talking. "Besides, only ugly women really need to be educated; to maybe have a benefit their lacking beauty doesn't allow them."
Kojuuro snapped! He hit his hands on the table and almost stood from his place. "Are you calling my daughter ugly!?"
"What? No! N—never. Tokio is a very graceful and beautiful woman. One that would definitely not need educating."
"Then what you're saying is that every day of her last four years spent in our court was a waste of time, yes?" Matsudaira jumped in the fray, making the young man lose the remaining colour from his face that wasn't all that much anyway.
Kiyo struggled to find anything redeeming about Eiji, apparent in the way she was looking at him, while Tooka and Teruhime were simultaneously civilly distressed. Tokio could not be happier. What. An idiot.
"No, of course not; being the lady in waiting to Teruhime-sama is very important!"
"Oh, but being my lady in waiting, she was taught medicine."
Finally, the young man caught on. He turned from white to purple to nearly green! He wanted to throw up from the sudden rush of anxiety and none of the Shinsengumi men could look any more entertained by the turn of events. Instead of a boring dinner, they got themselves a rather interesting argument. And then Okita elbowed Saitou discreetly and decided to speak.
"Medicine is one of the most useful professions, is it not? And to my knowledge, Aizu is famous for its beauties and its doctors. What's the harm in combining them?"
Tokio tried to hide her smile but couldn't.
"Maybe it has to do with our chosen profession," Harada easily stepped in "but I should think having an educated woman who is also a doctor as a wife, is very convenient and rather preferable, honestly. Instead of spending hours upon hours with a stranger over your head, you have your wife that you love and loves you back, taking care of any sort of injuries."
"Not to mention, if you're married, starting a family will be the next step; you have someone who can, at any given time, take care of your children without needing to rush to the next big city or village to find a healer," Nagakura opined, encouraged by the others. "So, you can be almost certain, nothing bad will happen to your family from that aspect. Or if you catch a sudden cold, you won't have to resort to superstition and ineffective maladies for help."
"Being a person who helps others in their time of need, earns you respect from the community, too," Saitou threw another coffin nail "and that naturally extends to that person's spouse, too. Having a network of people that will look out for you in your time of real need cannot be compared. That's how you can save a life or succeed in what you need to do and it cannot be bought with money. There's virtually no downside, other than maybe she'll have to be away from home for some time to take care of others, too but, as a man, you won't be home all the time, too, yes? Other than serious emergencies, where you should really not look the other way anyway, one wouldn't even notice the woman's absence."
"And Tokio-san is already such a person," Okita's voice inflected with certainty "one who has made a huge difference with her medicine. Even Hijikata-san acknowledges that."
When Hijikata bowed affirmatively, it must have been the decisive blow; if the silent man, the only one Eiji had recognised as a worthy opponent due to his good looks and watchful eyes, was siding against him, he knew he was beaten.
"I see…I had no idea Tokio-san was a woman of medicine…if I knew…!"
"You would have hidden your honest opinions in favour of something less abrasive?" Tooka helped him find his words, smile venomous. "Let us hope so. Let us finish our meal in silence now, please," she suggested in her kindest fake voice "only to break it to comment on what a wonderful job our cook made of this deer Saitou-san and Okita-san caught for us. Thank you for that, too gentlemen."
"Ah, no need; it was fun chasing it! I had never done anything like it before, too so I had a new experience."
Saitou merely nodded, bowing deeply in fact, afraid his smirk would be too obvious otherwise. When he raised his head, he noticed a similar expression in Tokio's face, who bit her lower lip really hard, while also staring at him mischievously. The look they exchanged threatened to expose them both, but Saitou persevered.
Of course, after that debacle, the dinner ended in a haste. The guest was all but shooed out the house once the food in his plate was gone, escorted outside by a servant, too, instead of the lady or the lord of the house. Yes, they were that unimpressed with him. And above all, it was Matsudaira-sama who was the most uncompromising.
"If you are willing to give your daughter to a man like him," he'd started contemptuously "you're better off marrying her to…Saitou or Okita; even Nagakura-san! At least they respect her."
Despite their names being mentioned only to indicate what a bad choice this man was, they still were, signifying the Aizu-han must have held them in some esteem; so, it was no wonder Hijikata nearly chocked on his drink, or Tokio turned absolutely ten shades darker at his words.
"I agree; I had no idea, Katamori," Kojuuro sighed his disappointment away. "I had hoped, given his personality and station…but it seems this man is under-qualified to hold the same last name as my daughter." Her father spared her a loving look. "You are too good for him."
"She'd be miserable in that man's presence," Teruhime finally spoke her mind, now that both men had expressed their dislike "she's better off with a husband who would think her skills are nothing special instead of one who thinks she shouldn't have them on the first place."
She looked at Kojuuro meaningfully. "For future reference."
"Oh hush, you," he waved her off.
Her mother found the perfect opportunity to step in though. "Or, maybe, we could ask Tokio, too if you value your daughter's opinion so much. Isn't that right, sweetie?"
Tokio had to process it for a moment. "I would appreciate being asked. Truth be told," she looked down, suddenly shy "I did not like him at all. I knew he held such views before he came today. People said he was sort of famous for his good looks but deplorable attitude."
Her father was displeased. "Then why didn't you say anything?"
"…I assumed it would be more effective for you to see it for yourselves, than listening to a second-hand opinion." She shrugged, as humbly as she could. "And I was right."
"You know we trust your judgement," Matsudaira scolded "don't hold back, especially on such things that directly involve you."
"Yes, my lord."
"After all, it is you who will be spending the rest of your life with him—or any him for that matter," he continued "your opinion is paramount. If there are any such valid reasons to decline a prospect in the future, share them with us. Or if there is anyone on your mind you think is suitable, bring them up."
"Yes, Matsudaira-sama."
But the moment she spoke, she had the urge to hide her face in her hands because she, she, she—what was that sound she made? It was a mixture of a sigh, longing and wishful thinking; if she could go back in time to undo it, she would because now Hijikata was glaring at her, her mother was glaring at her and Saitou was staring at her, even as her father simply patted her back. She could die of shame right this moment. And now Teruhime-sama was giving her the look, devious and all meaning, oh no, she wanted to disappear. Red-faced but as neutral-looking as ever, she kept her head low and peeled to the table or the ground, not daring to look up to anyone. "Now, if you all excuse me, I am going to go to my sisters; I know for a fact they are expecting news of the dinner."
She made her hurried exit before anyone could protest, her feet carrying her much faster than anyone ever thought possible in such a tight kimono, leaving Hijikata to glare at her empty space.
.
"Tokio-chan, who is Tama-chan?"
Two surprised sisters turned their heads towards the speaker in unison; the short man was all smiles and wonder, his hands in his sleeves. On his left stood Nagakura-san, curious and unaware, fixing his glasses; on his right stood the tallest man of the group, a now knowing smirk gracing his lips.
Once the jolt of surprise passes, Tsuki giggled. "How did you hear that name?"
"Hijikata-san and Saitou-san said she's the one who sealed our coming here."
Tokio laughed in her hand as Tsuki kept giggling. "Tokio, what did you write in father's invitation?" she teased her sister, pinching her sides lightly. That captured everyone's attention but Saitou's who of course knew the identity of said Tama-chan.
"Nothing too much, I promise it was perfectly acceptable…" She turned back to look at the men. "But if you'd like, I can introduce you to her." They looked between themselves excited. "She's only the most important presence in this house, after all. So, if you feel like postponing your preparations for five minutes, I'd be happy to bring her to you."
"But, of course," Okita exclaimed! "Five minutes are nothing; I can get dressed in less than that."
"Idiot," Saitou scolded, accompanying his words with the signature hit upside his head "how will you tie your obi right if you rush it?"
"But I want to meet Tama-chan!"
"We can be a little late then," Nagakura advised "for I would also like to meet this person."
"I am certain they won't leave for the festivities without two of the four daughters," Saitou settled for all "and I find it difficult to imagine we'll take longer to prepare than them. Isn't that right ladies?"
"Indeed! Women's kimonos are very difficult to put on, you need at least one person to help you in it." Tsuki turned to her sister. "If we had Ochako and Kachako—"
"—who are currently trying to get ready themselves?"
Tsuki looked down. "Well, I understand they have never been to an Aizu festival that's preparing for New Year and you want them to look their best but they are your personal helpers, yes? Shouldn't they be helping us, too?"
"Let them have their own time, Tsuki," Tokio argued back "and once New Year eve comes, we shall make sure they are ready long before us so they can coddle you, yes?"
She puffed up her cheeks. "…fine."
They had all noticed how, even if their age difference was but two years, Tsuki acted far more childish. All sisters acted younger than their age…all but Tokio who was sent off to Kyoto. Did that have to do with her mental growth? Or were they simply too sheltered here and it was the parent's fault…
"Cheer up Tsuki" Tokio patted her head "we'll introduce Tama-chan to the men and then we'll get ready, yes? I'll even give you the fan you love so much."
The girl lit up in a split second, head perking up and smile returning. She nodded a hundred times and started off before her sister, dragging her by the hand. "We'll bring you Tama-chan immediately," she informed as they took the turn to the end of the corridor "you wait there."
At the same time, Harada came out of his room. "What did I miss?"
Saitou smirked as he said "nothing much."
"Tokio-san just promised to introduce us to Tama-chan."
"According to her," Okita leaned in as if to entrust him with a secret "she's the most important person in this mansion."
"It's lucky I already wore my kimono, then," he lorded over everyone "but I guess that's what you get for getting ready early," he gave them all a look "instead of not training for two hours then having a bath and needing to get ready only twenty minutes before we have to leave."
They all waited even more anxious than before; were thy under-dressed? But Tokio put them out of their misery when she came back only three minutes later in the company of her sister…but no other person. In fact, it was Tsuki leading the party, with Tokio right behind her. They stood in that exact formation in front of the four now men who three waited with anticipation.
"Gentlemen, meet Tama-chan."
Tsuki took a step to the side with all the grace of a practiced geisha to reveal her older sister…holding an adorable, black fat cat. Tokio moved her paw in greeting. "She says hello, subjects."
There was a moment of stunned silence…and then an overwhelming laugh from Okita! Soon, it spread to the two women and some of the men and the mirth died down only when the cat scratched at Tokio, protesting being manhandled for so long. The woman avoided expertly though, and simply held her out from beneath the front legs.
"Tama-chan is your cat."
"Well-observed, Harada-san," Tsuki teased as she petted the kitty's soft head; it purred even though she was ready to attack a moment ago.
"She's cute!" Okita approached. "Can I hold her?"
"Of course. But be careful;" Tokio warned as she handed her over "she got into a fight with a stray and her right ear is still healing."
"Oh, she's a fighter!"
Surprisingly, the kitty seemed to feel exactly like home in the short man's hands. The rest converged to pet it at the same time, but stood in an actual line, not to overwhelm the animal. It worked. The cat remained perfectly relaxed while everyone cooed or scratched her belly or behind her left ear.
Saitou was the last one. He looked at the girls. "Did she win?"
They nodded yes, chuckling. "The stray wanted her food. But she fought him off and got it back!"
"Well done, Tama-chan," Nagakura congratulated as he felt her soft, obviously regularly brushed fur of hers between his fingers, making her purr again "you showed that stray."
"Well, we do feed the stray, too; but he has his own plate. He got greedy and tried to get hers, too."
"But she showed him, huh? Good kitty," Okita gushed and pursed his lips like a little duck.
Saitou's turn finally came and he petted her carefully. He had no idea how to approach cats, they were tiny; his hand was three times the size of her head.
"She's very good in general," Tsuki assured them with excitement to spare! "Despite being so fat, she still sticks up for us and herself and she's very agile."
"That's how she went from stray to pet status anyway; I was twelve and she was a kitten still when a boy a year older than me tried to push me into a puddle of mud. I used to feed her mother and her siblings, she knew me…so she jumped at the boy and tried to claw his eyes out!" Tokio giggled. "He was so panicked, it was funny. Eventually, he left crying…and Tama-chan was officially adopted."
"Protective for a cat," Saitou commented, petting her a little more invested now "good pick. Are all animals naturally protective of you?"
"Aww, don't remind me of my poor Hachiro! Matsudaira-sama didn't bring him and I miss him so much."
Harada tried not to laugh because Tokio looked honestly hurt. "Isn't Tama-chan jealous you smelt like a dog when you first came home?"
"Don't be silly; of course not. She was too happy just to see me again."
"What is going on here? Why is everyone huddled up—a kitty!"
Kondou came to their side just as readily as he scolded them for standing so close to the two ladies. But then he started petting it, too and Tsuki informed him of the ear before he did anything that earned him a scratch.
"Why aren't you lot getting ready to-…?"
Hijikata came in and was about to give them a lecture on responsibility and being on time, when he caught sight of Kondou; lecturing his superior was something even he didn't want to do – not that he couldn't – so he refrained. But when he caught a glimpse of the cat, he had to fight back a smile. "Is that Tama-chan?"
"Yes, it is," Tokio admitted a little shy. Just the fact he knew the name reminded her he had read her letters and she couldn't look him in the eye.
"Oh, is it a famous cat?"
"It's the cat that made Hijikata-sama accept father's invitation," Tokio told Kondou in confidence, causing the older man to let out a booming laugh.
"I knew you were a cat person, but who would have thought?" The vice commander had to roll his eyes to make everyone forget what Kondou just dared mouth in front of his men. "Anyway, let us disperse now, allow the ladies to go get ready…and those of you who aren't dressed already, I want to see you out of your rooms in ten minutes, yes?"
They chorused "Yes sir!" and stood at attention. They stayed like that until the two superiors and the already-dressed-in-his-good-but-not-best-kimono Harada left for the main hall. Saitou didn't miss the dirty look Hijikata sent Saitou. Once they were gone, they pet the cat a final time and Okita passed her back to the sisters. But the cat was as wilful as her owner; without a shred of hesitation she jumped out of Tokio's arms and fell into step with the short man. "Oh? You want to accompany me to my room? What a nice kitty."
"How shameless, Tama-chan," Tsuki said over her shoulder, but they had all gone their separate ways.
.
.
That night had been a fun one. The festivities were very…colourful and grand. They were so in Kyoto, too but here, they had something that savoured of militaristic as well as convivial that pleased the Shinsengumi men more than they would have thought. It was apparent, if Matsudaira had been raised in such an environment, why he chose to keep them so close and give them rights and a formal name. He appreciated a warrior more than a bureaucrat.
Thank Buddha.
It was also a delight to see so many ladies dressed up; not the ones at the festival, no. The ones in their company: Matsudaira's wives, Tooka-san, Teruhime and of course, Tokio. Her one sister, Tsuki, was there, too but the sad truth was none of the men paid too much attention to her, other than formalities, for she was both too young and overshadowed by her sister, who everyone knew better and expected to see dressed up ever since they received their invitation.
It was a wait well worth it, for Tokio looked amazing. Everyone thought so, too and the night almost turned unpleasant when Harada had the bright idea to mention the whole "pour my drink for me" directly to the woman. Oh boy. Hijikata would have murdered him, if looks could kill; Nagakura was torn between mortified and hopeful; Saitou almost moved against the speaker…had it not been for Tokio's disbelieving look. She had actually thought she heard wrong until she saw Hijikata glare.
Then she laughed, like a true lady, and shook her head. "I'm afraid I can't. I am not allowed. I also dislike it, so I avoid it when I can, forgive me Harada-san." The staunch – for her standards – refusal, put his heart at ease. He unclutched his fists and unclenched his jaw and his shoulders slacked. He took a deep breath and kept walking.
Crisis averted, Okita decided ever-watchful and allowed himself to exhale. He wouldn't have to tackle anyone that night.
.
"Where do you think you're going at this time of night? Have you learnt nothing from your-…?" She turned to him knowingly, putting a finger over her lips. He smirked amused. "Are you shushing me?"
She nodded affirmatively, causing him to shake his head. "Lead the way I guess, hime-sama."
Unbothered by the nickname, she slowly made her way outside with him following at a one metre of clear distance. By the route she chose, he knew she was leading him to the gardens. He had no idea why but he knew it was well past twelve and the only reason he was even in the corridor was because he heard her sneaking out.
Paper thin walls indeed.
But she was so confident she wouldn't get caught, she led him through the main corridors without a single effort of hiding. Then again, she had walked these halls endlessly for the past two months according to Ochako and she must have learnt everyone's schedule by now and how best to avoid them. Whatever the case, she was getting too cocky. She should be stopped.
Should, being the key word here; he had every intention yet apparently no drive to do it himself. Last time he remembered threatening to tie her up if she didn't comply, but now nothing, he just let her do as she liked. How pathetic can one man get in the short span of half a year; that must have been her experiment. The answer was: exceedingly pathetic, if anyone saw him now, following her like a puppy, more doggedly than her actual dog.
The more he thought about it, the worse he felt; at the same time, he simply came to terms with the fact. He could make an effort to reverse the situation, stop her, do anything other than silently follow after her…but no, nothing, not once. He contented himself in thinking he's this lowly creature who did whatever the lady wanted simply because she wanted it and that was enough reason for anything.
What had he gotten himself into? He was tired, too. it hadn't been two hours ago they came back from another night out—and tomorrow was supposed to be New Year's, when they would definitely stay up late to welcome its coming. He kept sighing the entire way. Why did he get himself in these messes? He was so weak-willed when swords weren't involved, it was too much.
Finally, she came to a stop, after wading through corridors, the main entrance and then rows upon rows of hedges draped with lush green or beautiful flowers. There were a couple of koi ponds, too – how typical – as well as a man-made river with a small bridge and everything. Yet, she stopped at the very back of the garden, standing in front of a small, separate building. It wasn't connected with anything, so it must have been some sort of warehouse. They probably stored goods in here, given her father was actually a tradesman.
"What I am about to show you is a sneak peek to one of tomorrow's main attractions." His eyes snapped at her, only to see her beaming at the double wooden doors.
As he was taking a better look at them, he noticed the wood was skilfully carved like a curling, huge dragon. And yet, it finished in clouds and puffs of smoke and flowers rather than anything as aggressive as what he thought.
"I acknowledge you are difficult and of very particular tastes, thus I shall reveal this to you tonight, in hopes you make up your mind and be able to claim what you wish for fast enough."
"Claim what?"
She produced a little key that she inserted very theatrically. "This," she drawled as she pulled the doors wide open.
What he saw, he had to take a moment to evaluate. "Are these…outfits?"
"These are traditional clothes, passed down from generation to generation; father loves wearing them! He always does, when it's New Year. And when he has guests, he makes them wear them, too."
Saitou cringed. These clothes, they were…so big and outdated. Very complicated, too and he was a simple man. The fabrics of one of those must cost more than all of his earthly belongings in this precise moment and he hated expensive things, too.
"As you can see, there are no female clothes here; only the men suffer that one." She giggled at his despair. "This is exactly why I brought you here tonight. Take a look and decide which one would hurt you less wearing."
"…do we have to wear the hats, too?"
"Ah, no; father is merciful in his tortures." His relief was palpable. "Some do like them, though, curiously enough."
"I bet Okita will, too."
He joked alright, but he had no idea what to choose. All of these were deplorable in their own right! He couldn't picture himself wearing none of these over-the-top garments. He was, for the very first time in his life, at a real loss.
"The mostly black one," came her voice, small and uncertain from his left "with the large blue haori."
He clicked his tongue. "But it has a ridiculously exaggerated collar in white."
"But all the others have flower or animal patterns…and they are multicoloured, too."
Damn it, she was right! But he just couldn't accept it. "That one seems normal enough: it's plain and dark purple…"
"The colours underneath, don't sit well with your complexion though. Be…" she hesitated for a moment "besides, that one would suit you best, I think; I like it the most."
She had spent time thinking about it, hadn't she? That thought, along with the realisation she brought him here to basically point out what she would like to see him wear, compelled him to look at her as he never had before: not as a fine lady, nor a master's protégé, not even a rich man's daughter he was supposed to keep safe…but as a woman. A woman who appeared to be favouring him out of all the guests in her house, always singled him out from a crowd and the one who always picks him to stand close to.
His heart lurched painfully in his chest and for the very first time, he looked at her like just a man. "Lesser of two evils I guess," he casually conceded, masking his internal turmoil. Thoughts raced in his head, while a lone stream of consciousness strived to put the mess that was his mind in order. "I do like blue best."
She couldn't have graced him with a prettier smile; even if he was only watching with the edge of his eyes, he still felt weak against it. Realisations hit him like a ton of bricks, but he decided to keep his expression neutral. He'd work it out tomorrow morning, afternoon, whenever. But not now; now he'd savour this feeling of being cherished.
"How do you plan on getting me that one though? I bet more than half if not all of the guys would prefer that one."
"Oh, don't worry, I know just the way."
She didn't elaborate further…but the answer came tomorrow after breakfast, when Kojuuro led everyone down that same path and ended his tour in the exact same place. Following the same steps as his daughter, he opened the double doors wide to show the rest what he had already seen yesterday: a wide array of traditional, older ceremonial clothes.
When he informed them, they'd have to wear it, the men were divided: Takeda, Kondou and Okita seemed overjoyed. Nagakura, Harada and himself almost groaned. The only one surprisingly uncaring about this whole ordeal was Hijikata, who simply shrugged.
"You look good no matter what you wear, is that it?" her mother had teased and when he simply smirked, they knew that was the very reason he didn't mind. That bastard!
"Don't worry about that; my Tokio and my dear wife are experts in what a man should wear. I entrusted them with the task of choosing who should wear what…if you still end up with a choice you don't like, please direct the complaints there. But no take-backs."
Apparently, the way was to convince her father she knew best. That was it and obviously it worked, if what he just announced was to be taken seriously. He shook his head; he would have loved to have just a fraction of her persuasive abilities. Being that as it may, after he got to his room that day, right after training, he found the dreaded but chosen set of clothes waiting for him. There was a note attached to them, in her hand.
Don't forget: It is unsightly to be seen with a sword in these clothes…which is why I included special instructions on how to hide it in the fabrics; they are in the left pocket.
He had to let out a laugh at that. She knew him so well, it was…disconcerting. The smile turned into a frown then and he remained there looking at the note blankly. He felt his limbs grow tingly, creeping up from his palms and his feet to the rest of his body. It spread evenly and after a moment, he could not move.
He…he saw. He knew. He could not hide it any longer: Tokio grew attached in the exact way Hijikata warned him against. There was no denying it anymore, he felt like this was the breaking point. These were clothes worn by her ancestors, as her father had said later that same day, it was a great honour…one that was not extended to mere swordsmen as himself. Her father hadn't said that, but it was certainly implied. And yet, all she thought about, was which one he'd look best in and how to be better accommodated. She thought of him; about him; for him, some infuriating times, but all in good will.
And when a person can't sleep for two months straight when another person is away but has no trouble doing so when that person is there, couldn't be clearer:
She cared for him, plain and simple.
Now he acknowledged it; sadly, now he had to do something about it, too. At the very least, it was the last day here, he had a good time. He shook his head, disappointed. Who was he trying to fool exactly? He was in his room all alone, looking at a note, struggling with his thoughts. And he knew, oh how he knew, this had to happen—knew it from the second day! But he postponed it exactly because it was only the second day and he just…wanted to have a good time; with her; after all this time.
Alright. He was strong. He would do this…tonight.
A/N: Choices, choices...fate is cruel on young lovers, you know? And now I'm only being a tease, they aren't even lovers, not technically. Poor them. Oh well, things will get better.
Hope you had fun dearies! Leave a review on your way out, yes? And again, sorry for the prolonged absence. I'll try harder.
Kisses~~,
FAI