Sins of the Mother
Episode 20: Regrets, redemptions.
It was nearly 10 PM. Tyler drove on, whilst Janey looked on ahead, helping to keep an eye on the road.
"You girls don't listen to music?'-Tyler asks- "I mean, not once through this whole trip did you girls ask to turn on the radio."
"It's ok, Mister Jameson,"-said Janey- "I actually like the quiet of the night."
Megan did not reply. She just kept on looking out the window.
"Mister Jameson,"-she suddenly said- "I'm sorry… I'm just…"
"Still thinking about what Jefferson said?"-he asks.
"No,"-she replies- "Kind of… yeah."
"Hey, don't think about that,"-Tyler says- "He…"
"I just…"-she interrupts him- "I mean… what if he's right? What if taking this trip was a waste of time?"
"It wasn't,"-Tyler replies- "And once this trip is over, you'll know why."
"Mister Jameson,"-she's starting to tear up- "I just feel so bad… I mean, how much money did you needlessly spend on me? And on Janey, and Bethany… and…?"
"Zero,"-Tyler says- "That's how much money I needlessly spent on you guys. Zero dollars and zero cents. Every dollar I spent on this trip, I spent them doing what was right. Because I knew you had to take this trip."
"But,"-she's crying now.
"Megan, I ever tell you why I ran away?"-he asks.
"No,"-she replies.
"My dad, all I ever wanted to do was make him proud of me,"-Tyler says- "When I thought I couldn't do that… I just lost sight of who I was, what I wanted. So… I ran away from home."
"What happened?"-Janey asks, surprised to hear that story.
"Well,"-he replies- "I stayed at the Toronto Steps Hostel for over eight years. Yeah, that hostel we went to two nights past, remember? Well… I stayed there…avoiding my problem."
"My God,"-Megan says- "Why?"
"I didn't want to deal with the fact that all my life was just one big failure,"-Tyler says- "And that all I my efforts were in vane."
"So… what happened after those eight years?'-Janey asks.
"Well,"-Tyler sighs- "Sam and I were… well, together. But one day, I had a dream. More like a nightmare, really. I was being chased by this giant chicken. It just kept trying to peck my eyes out! And I kept running away from it. But no matter how hard I tried to run, it always ganged up on me. So, in my dream, I simply got tired of running. I decided to turn around, and face that chicken. That's when I woke up."
"Why a giant chicken?"-asks Janey.
"Oh… when I was a kid, I got pecked in the face by a chicken,"-Tyler explains- "Been scared of them since."
"Oh,"-Janey says- "So what happened after that?"
"Well, I took that dream as a sign,"-Tyler narrates- "And went back home. I confronted my dad. I told him that the only reason I ever did sports was to make him proud of me… He told me that… he was always proud of me… because I tried and never gave up… and when he found out what happened the day I decided to quit sports, he said he sympathized with my decision… He died a month later…"
Tyler sighs to himself, as the two girls remain stunned over what they had learned.
Meanwhile…
"Jefferson?"-Bethany grabs his arm- "Before we go… may I please say goodbye to mommy and daddy?"
"Sure, Beth,"-Jefferson replies, smiling.
"Wait for me, ok?"-Bethany begins to leave- "Don't leave me behind!"
"Hey Jefferson,"-Ryan asks- "How long you loved her?"
"I've loved Megan for a while now,"-Jefferson responds, looking up at the sky- "But I've only admitted that to myself recently."
"Really?"-Ryan says, sitting down on the bench- "So, why didn't you see it before?"
"Well,"-Jefferson sighs, and looks down on the ground- "I'm so short sighted… I didn't see what I had until reality came crashing to me."
"Huh?"-Ryan gives Jefferson a quizzical look.
"She confessed to me first,"-Jefferson kicks the ground- "And I, like the idiot I am, told her I didn't have the time for a relationship."
"Dude!"-Ryan raises his arms- "Dumb move, dude!"
"I agree,"-Jefferson sighs. He sits down- "So, anyway… I can't lose her."
"Oh?"-Ryan looks at him with a disbelieving look- "I'm just saying, you have a backup girl in Bethany."
"I know,"-Jefferson says- "But losing Megan, to me, is like losing everything that gives me a reason to be me. If I lose her, I lose my very first friend, the first person to ever try to get me out of my shell, the only person in the world to ever make me laugh… If I lose her…"
"Dude,"-Ryan sits next to him- "That's deep, dude."
"Yeah,"-Jefferson breathes in, and exhales- "She's beautiful, isn't she?'
"Heck yeah,"-Ryan smirks- "Those Asian features of hers, that long, feathery hair. Dude, I can't blame ya for falling in love with her!"
"Yeah,"-Jefferson chuckles a bit- "She's also spunky, determined, kinda bull headed sometimes. But she's so down to Earth, so kind and gentle, yet so tough and independent. Dude… She could be the one…"
Jefferson looks up at the sky again, a slight blush on his face. Ryan relaxes for a bit, and looks at the Moon. He says- "That's what Duncan says about Aunt Gwen, and what Trent says about mom. Dude… what you got for Meg is legit."
"Thank you,"-Jefferson says, blushing more.
"You called her flat chested,"-Ryan says.
"I didn't mean a word of it,"-Jefferson responds- "But please… if you feel like you have to, go ahead and punch me."
Ryan punches Jefferson in the jaw. This knocks him off the bench, and lands him on the floor. Jefferson gets up, rubs his jaw, and sits back on his spot. He says- "I would have liked it if you held back slightly. But I must admit, I deserved that."
"Yep,"-Ryan smirks- "And I hope Meg kicks ya in the crotch."
Both boys begin to laugh. As the crickets began to chirp, the stars twinkled in the sky.
"So dude,"-Ryan says- "Me and Janey discussed our favorite songs this afternoon. Just curious, but… what's Meg's favorite song?"
"She has three,"-Jefferson replies- "The first is 'Hey Sandy' by Polaris. The second is 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' by Nirvana. And her third is 'Uptown Girl' by Billy Joel."
"Nice choices"-says Ryan- "Lot of variety there. Meg's got good taste. What about you?"
"I never really liked music much,"-says Jefferson- "But, one day, I heard a song that I just simply fell in love with."
"Cool, which one?"-Ryan asks.
"I don't know the name, just the lyrics,"-Jefferson responds. He starts singing:
I'm standing in the rain
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here, by now.
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound.
Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
It's a damn cold night!
Trying to figure out this life!
Won't you, take me by the hand, take me somewhere new?
I don't know who you are, but I
I'm with you.
"I know the song,"-says Ryan- "It's 'I'm with you' by Avril Lavigne."
"Yeah,"-Jefferson says- "I love that song. It reminds me of the day I fell in love with Megan."
"Well now!"-Ryan says- "There's a story I need to hear!"
Jefferson begins to narrate…
"Thank you for helping me study, Jeff,"-Megan says, blushing, as she and Jefferson walk her school's halls.
"Hey, no problem,"- he responds- "I leave for my college hunting trip next week. I figure I may as well help ya out while I can."
"Humph! Don't get cocky, I only asked for your help so I… never mind,"-Megan sighs. As they exit the door, they finally notice something- "It's raining!"
"Should have brought my umbrella,"-Jefferson sighs, and rubs the back of his head.
"It's a bit past sundown, too,"-Megan says, checking her watch- "This sucks."
"Not so much,"-Jefferson responds- "We could be in the middle of this rain, instead of out of it."
"Yeah,"-Megan says- "This reminds me of this song I got on my player."
"Really?"-Jefferson asks- "May I hear it?"
"Sure!"-Megan takes out her music player, and lends an him an earphone- "Like it?"
As the song finishes, Jefferson nods his head in approval- "It was beautiful."
Megan nods her head in agreement. As he thinks about the song, he looks over at Megan. Suddenly, he didn't see the fourteen year old he befriended two years ago. He sees the beautiful woman she had blossomed into. For some reason, he feels anxious about something, as if he wants to hold her. That was when Bridgette had arrived.
"Jefferson!"-She calls out- "I saw it rained, and I didn't know if you had an umbrella, so I came by and brought you… Oh, hello Megan!"
Bridgette smiles at the girl. It's odd to see her like that. Jefferson thanks his mother for the umbrella, and gets in her car. Megan also gets in the car, as Bridgette offers her a ride home. During the whole ride, Jefferson tries to analyze his new feelings.
Bethany had finally arrived, accompanied by her father.
"Hey guys! Good news!"-She says- "Daddy said he'll take us to Camp Wawanakwa! We don't need to bother that nice police officer!"
"I just didn't like the idea of my baby girl going alone with two boys on a trip towards an old summer camp"-Cody says with a chuckle- "So, Lindsay and I agreed that I take you kids there!"
"Hey, dude! Who you calling kids, eh!?"-Ryan says, smirking.
"Bethany told me the whole story, Jefferson,"-Cody says- "I'll be happy to help."
"Thank you, sir,"-says Jefferson- "It means a lot to me."
"Bethany is riding shotgun,"-Cody says, crossing his arms- "And that is not negotiable."
Ryan rubs the back of his head. He WAS going to ask if he could sit next to Bethany.
Meanwhile, back at home…
"Clyde?"-Susan says groggily- "It's almost midnight. Why are you up?"
"Oh, no reason,"-Clyde responds- "I'm just worried about Megan, is all."
"Me too,"-Susan says with a sigh- "But she called us earlier today, remember? She's fine."
"I know,"-Clyde says- "Honey… I think we made a mistake… not telling her about Heather."
"I agree,"-Susan gets up- "I don't think we have an excuse for what we did."
"Yeah,"-Clyde says, feeling sadder still- "You know, sometimes I look at Megan, and I see her mother. Sometimes I feel like Megan IS Heather."
"Me too,"-Susan replies- "Sometimes, I feel like Megan is who Heather could have been like, if we were better parents."
"Yeah,"-Clyde sighs- "I wonder sometimes, is Heather happy with us, the way we raised her daughter? Or does she hate us for the way we neglected her when she was still alive?"
"I don't know, Clyde,"-Susan rests her head on his shoulder- "I know we'll have a lot to answer for when we meet up with her."
Meanwhile, over at Beth's…
"Beth?"-Lindsay sighs to herself- "My babies aren't babies anymore."
"Gee, Lindsay,"-Beth says- "I remember when they were still in your belly… that never seemed so long ago until tonight."
"That look on Bethany's face,"-Lindsay keeps her head on Beth's table- "That determination… that maturity… my two little girls are becoming little women."
"Is that why you let her go?"-Beth asks.
"Yeah,"-Lindsay responds- "I hope… I have to wait a long, long while before I see Bethany leave our home to become independent…"
"Lindsay…"-Beth looks at her best friend with sympathy.
"I kind of wanted to always be able to clean her room. To read her stories before bedtime, to cook pancakes for breakfast for her, to bake her cookies…"-Lindsay starts to cry- "Now… It won't be long until she starts college…"
"That's still four years from now!"-Beth says- "And don't forget, Janey herself has to wait five years before she starts college."
"But she starts High School next year,"-Lindsay says- "I don't have little girls anymore, Beth."
Back at Tyler's car…
Tyler turned on the radio. A song begins to play:
Always wanting you!
But never having you
Sometimes hurts me
Almost more than I can stand.
I'd been better off if I had looked away, and never looked at you, again
Cuz I really had my life altogether, till your eyes met mine!
"Country music is not so bad,"-Janey says- "It might be American, but it's alright."
"Hey now!"-Tyler says, chuckling- "America produces good music too! Sometimes."
"What an ironic song,"-Megan thinks to herself- "I wonder… if I would have been happier never knowing Jefferson…"