"Evidence. We need it for Evidence." she told me bluntly.

"Will you at least turn away?" She shrugged and the mask turned towards the wall while I shucked off the nice clothing. What I was counting on to be the only compensation for the whole fiasco. I'd actually planned to keep the nice kimono too until it was drowning me.

Snatching the white sheet from off the bed I draped it around my shoulders and wrapped it around myself. Then I shoved a fistful of jumbled cloth at the ANBU. "Here, take it."

She took the wad of cloth and shook it out, folding it as she screened me with her eyes. "Tabi too."

"My feet will be cold."

"Tough." Bitch.

"Tell Ibiki that if he forgets about me I'm going to haunt him. I've even got the sheet I will totally do it."

She convulsed slightly – a laugh? Say it isn't so! And told me she'd pass along my message. Because it would really make Ibiki shiver in his boots.

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

It was cold and dark. And dark and cold. I was cocooned in the sheets and blanket and trying very hard to think of boring things so I could fall alseep and no be bored anymore. Occassionally I strained my ears to see if I could hear people sharpening swords or getting tortured. That's what they did in ANBU wasn't it?

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

I was so busy concentrating that I was slow to react when the door opened and then abruptly shut again. Food maybe?

I rolled to a sitting position and squeaked as I was suddenly forced flat again. Someone had a fist of the blankets at my chest, and was sitting on top of me.

There was a pause. Don't kill me. Don't Kill me. Don't be Ibiki actually taking offense at my message.

"Akiko?" something that sounded suspiciously like Kakashi's voice floated out of the darkness as the weight on me abruptly lifted. "What are you doing in here?"

"ahhh...is this a trick question?"

He laughed lightly. "No. When Ibiki-san mentioned you'd get a harsher punishment, we thought you'd be doing paperwork." He sat down next to me on the padding and tugged lightly at the blankets, which I promptly jerked out of his grip.

"Not. Sharing." I snarled at him, wrapping the layers around myself. At least we were in the dark, because if the blanket didn't cover me the sheet was pretty darn thin.

"It is cold down here isn't it." He shifted a little closer and I felt his arm start to curl around my shoulder.

"That's Okay!" I squirmed farther away, and his hand froze and then abruptly retreated.

Silence...

I heard the scrape of fabric on fabric as he got up. "You need rest." he stated emotionlessly.

How come I was feeling guilty for preventing him from clearly a social taboo in all levels of society? Because he doesn't know about the lack of clothes. But I wasn't going to tell him that if I could help it. I frowned and wormed onto my side, to try and shiver my way into sleep again. What can I say my body is just not good at producing it's own heat. It couldn't have been that much longer, that Kakashi sighed in the darkness and I felt another tug at the blanket.

"No! Stop!"

"Akiko, you're shivering. The blankets aren't sufficient, my body heat can keep you warm enough so that you won't get sick."

"Thanks but that's really okay – I'm fine, it's just taking me a while to warm up."

He sighed again, I felt the padding sink as he sat down. "I know how uncomfortable for you this must be but-"

I felt the blankets shift slightly and then suddenly they were gone and Kakashi's hand's settled on my bare waist an instant later.

"Believe me Kakashi, you have no idea how uncomfortable for me this is."

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

"Where are your clothes?" Was it me or was his voice a little higher than normal there? I shivered in the sudden exposure to cold air and his hands – which were warm! - flexed slightly, which made me shiver again.

"Probably a shelf in Evidence room 6 or something like that."

There was a pause and then suddenly he relaxed again. "Harsher punishment." He concluded.

I shivered in the cold air and tried to locate the blanket without moving anything below my shoulders. "I fail to see how this is harsh for you."

"Your probably colder than I thought." His fingers flexed again. At least one part of me was warm, two large handprint shaped areas on my waist.

Like I can't feel my toes cold. "Probably...so why don't you pass me the blanket and we'll both survive the night huh?"

"Hmmm..."

What kind of answer was that? "Hey...your hands-do you mind?"

They moved off me, a faint rustling and something warm dropped over my head. The blankets? And then Kakashi pulled it down so my head popped through. A shirt! Mystery solved! I stuffed my hands through the sleeves and pulled it down as far as it would go-reveling in the lingering warmth. "You sure you don't need it?"

"Not when I have you."

Because that makes a lot of sense. "What do you mean?"

He didn't answer, instead he lifted me into the air and proceeded to get comfortable before setting me down on top of him. A moment after that the blanket was pulled over my head.

"Wait! Wait! I need air!"

I tried moving off to the side but my leg just slid into air, Kakashi lying on the pallet took up the entirety of the small ledge. I grumbled and started to crawl towards his head. There was a bit of awkwardness when my hand landed on his bare skin.

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

"Where's your shirt?"

"On you."

"Oh right."

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

Then I was peeking out from under the edge of the covers inhaling fresh and startlingly cold air.

"You're making a draft." He stated grumpily.

His arm curled up and squashed me flat before tugging the blanket down around us again. "Bedtime!"

Reasons I hate Ninjas #35: mood swings in a ninja intense confusion

I opened my mouth but snapped it shut again when I realized I was warm, had some clothing and with a sigh he suddenly relaxed and began breathing deeply. Of course he wasn't asleep – no one falls asleep that quickly. My hands were balled to keep from having to touch his chest, but I uncurled one finger to give his chest a few light taps. No response. If he's actually asleep I don't want to wake him. But it was slightly possible what with all the traveling to yutanaro and back, fighting yakuza and pulling weighted girls out of onsen – he might be a little tired...

I'd just get back at him later. When he's awake. I settled my head onto the upper part of his chest and tried to sleep.

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

I dreamed I'd been thrown in the onsen again, only it was a lot bigger this time like an ocean and I knew there would be no way I could get out once I'd gone under. I knew I wasn't the only one in the onsen either. Jaws was in the onsen-ocean. Luckily though, there was a piece of driftwood. If I could just stay on top of the driftwood I would be fine. Jaws wouldn't see me and I wouldn't fall to the bottom where I would drown (perhaps while Jaws laughed at me). I bobbed slowly on my driftwood, feeling the steam from the onsen as I tried not to move and yet watch the shadow circling the water around me at the same time...

When the driftwood suddenly started to tilt in preparation to sink – much like the Titanic – I steadied my panicking heart and clamped down digging my nails-

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

My back hit Kakashi's bent knee as I slid down his chest. It was still pitch black, but Kakashi was breathing harshly. "Did you have a nightmare or something?" I asked him worriedly.

"No. I didn't have a nightmare."

"Then what?"

Sigh. "Nothing, just go back to sleep."

"Are you sure?"

Pause. "Well..." He rolled over, and I found myself abruptly pinned between him and the padding. "Okay now go to sleep."

At least I had some pillow this way... I felt his head settle next to mine. The pillow was small so his nose was brushing my ear, but when I tried to shift away I found I couldn't move. In fact...

"Kakashi I can't move at all."

"Good."

Well thanks for helping me out. Jerk.

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

I dreamed that an ANBU had intercepted us after we'd arrived in Konoha and told us to go right to see Ibiki. Kakashi was still holding me, and I clung to his warmth and his smell. He could make a lot of money if he could reproduce it in a laundry detergent...

Ibiki was sitting in a chair behind a desk covered in stacks of papers held down by ninja stars, knives and the closest pile to him was actually held down by a steaming cup of coffee...

We all sat down on the couch in front of the desk though, although Takeshi's perch on the arm may not be 'sitting' per se. Obito sat with a straight back at one end, with Takeshi perching next to him. Kakash leaned back into the opposite corner and I lay languidly on top of him since I was tired with the stress of traveling and almost dying.

Ibiki scolded Kakashi, and Takeshi and Obito most of all because he was supposed to keep the other two in line. Because they'd acted well, despite their misjudgment he was going to let them go with just that. We all stood, well the guys all stood and I just kind of increased my altitude by holding onto Kakashi.

"Any last words before I let you go?" He concluded.

"No, Ibiki-san." Obito replied.

"My sheets were clearly from last season's catalog." Takeshi told him.

"An escalator instead of stairs would increase efficiency." That was Kakashi.

The smirking trench-coated head of interrogation turned to me. "Any comments from you Akiko-chan?"

"Yeah, learn to jack off the normal way you sadistic prick."

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

I woke with a start, bracing myself with an arm as I blinked at the messy expanse of my bedroom. Woah what happened? I rolled off my bed, stepping delicately between the piles of books to get to the door.

"Mom? Dad?"

I glanced briefly into the bathroom before padding down the stairs, the kitchen was empty although there was light shining through the back window. I circled through the living room just for the hell of it and stared at the packed suitcase, and the contents of my purse strewed across the foyer. I knelt to scoop the contents back into it and noticed that my pajamas had been a long sleeved pair of the black ANBU standard uniform. How did that happen?

I froze as there was a knock on the door, and then in a daze stood to answer it. Kanoi smiled as soon as she saw my face, then her eyes slid down, as had Obito's, Kakashi's, and Takeshi's.

"Nice shirt Akiko." Takeshi commented jovially.

What was so special about my shirt? I scowled in incomprehension as Kanoi shoved me into the house. "Akiko! Put some pants on!"

Oh.

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

I came back down an undetermined amount of time later, still trying to work out what had happened. Everyone was in the kitchen although Kakashi and Obito were seated while Takeshi was trying to fight Kanoi for the right to chop vegetables citing his ninja credentials as leverage.

I headed towards the fridge and orange juice – safe neutral ground. Halfway there Obito lifted a box onto the table. "This is for you."

It was plain, wrapped in brown paper, and tied with twine. "Oh. Uh. Thanks Obito."

"It's not from me." I watched curiously as he glanced at me, rolled his eyes and started to rub his temples. Kakashi was smiling, but it was a lopsided can't-be-helped kind of smile.

"It's from Ibiki."

"He was laughing so hard the admin tried to arrange another CAT scan for him." Takeshi called from by the sink.

"Why was he laughing?"

Kakashi beckoned me over. Instead of telling me though, he pulled me onto his lap and gave me a hug. "Because you're so funny Akiko-chan!"

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

Breakfast was a salad, thanks to Takeshi with rice and grilled eel thanks to Kanoi. We all stared at it for a moment before shrugging and beginning to eat. Food is food.

And eating is eating. Unless you count the fact that I never actually saw Kakashi put anything into his mouth. Or even saw his mouth at all – his food was just gone. Obito ate like he was at a five star restaurant, his elbows never touched the table, his chopsticks never lost a piece of food and I swear he swirled and smelled the juice before he drank it. And Takeshi... Takeshi didn't really have food. Instead he split the portions perfectly between the four of us and proceeded to steal in order to survive. I was sitting next to Kakashi, who seemed to have a protective effect on my food if not on his own (chopstick battles!) but Kanoi and Obito fought for every moment off guard.

By the end of the meal I was pleasently full. Obito expressed that he was pleasently full but kept glancing grumpily at his rice bowl (half of which had been pilfered). Kanoi was furious but had eaten the majority of her meal, and Takeshi was groaning about having eaten too much and was trying to bend himself in two across the back of the chair while the remenants of Kanoi's juice dripped from his hair to the floor. Kakashi was smiling and also appeared to be well fed but both of his chopsticks had been broken while defending a tomato.

Overall it seemed a successful affair.

Then we all settled down to stare at the package Ibiki had sent via Obito to me.

"Do you think it's a bomb?"