Author's notes: Sorry for the several days with no updates, I've been busy with stuff, and it took me ages to realise that I couldn't think of anything funny enough for a Valentines Day entry. Just pretend that Orihime gave everybody loads of chocolate, Rukia got confused by the custom and stole other people's, and that instead of writing on the fridge they all had an in-person meeting briefly telling Rukia off. And then Ichigo stole the chocolate she had stolen and claimed it for himself. And that she kicked him but eventually gave up and conceded the chocolate to him because he was holding it above her head and she couldn't reach. And then Renji fought over it with Ichigo.
... Okay, I totally should have written it. I'm sorry. Perhaps I'll write it as a more prose-y one-shot in a couple of months.
Anyway, skipping straight to April...
Let's play a little game, shall we? How does "Guess Who is Responsible for Which April Fools Prank" sound? -Uryu Ishida
Orihime and Rukia filled the living area with toy bunnies. -Chad
*Aw, you got us! -Orihime xx*
~~Um, I'm pretty sure that's all that anybody did. Except for the stink-bomb Renji set off in the lift, not understanding that we're not the only ones in the building who have to use it and there is also a staircase. -Rukia~~
That is not all of the pranks anybody committed. -Uryu Ishida
WHOA, YOU did a prank too, Uryu? -Ichigo
No. Don't play dumb, Ichigo. Nobody else had five dozen rolls of toilet paper with which to cover every single one of my possessions. -Uryu Ishida
That wasn't a prank! I thought you'd just like your room's new colour scheme better than the old one. It's all white now! -Ichigo
... -Uryu Ishida
Okay, so it WAS a prank, but you have to admit it was a good one! -Ichigo
... -Uryu Ishida
No. -Uryu Ishida
*Tee hee! You can't deny, that was actually pretty clever. You're always complaining about not being allowed to redecorate your room, Uryu. -Orihime xx*
*Although yeah, that does sound a bit annoying. -Orihime xx*
Please don't encourage him, Orihime. -Uryu Ishida
~~Oh no! You mean that white tissue paper I caught Fido eating earlier was from your room? -Rukia~~
~~I apologise for my puppy destroying your interior decorating! -Rukia~~
That's really your biggest concern? Because I'd be more concerned about the fact that there is a distinct and conspicuous lack of dog poo on the living area carpet today. -Uryu Ishida
~~O.O -Rukia~~
I'd take him to a vet if I were you. -Uryu Ishida
~~Couldn't you just take a look at him, Uryu? I can't really afford to pay for a vet. You're doing medicine, right? -Rukia~~
1. You don't need a medicine student, you need a vet. Dog and human anatomies are very different. -Uryu Ishida
2. Don't be a cheapskate, your brother is one of the richest people I've ever met. And my father owns a hospital. -Uryu Ishida
3. Contrary to popular belief, I AM NOT STUDYING MEDICINE. -Uryu Ishida
~~Oh. -Rukia~~
Wait. you're not doing a medicine degree? But you were in the same lectures as me earlier this year. -Ichigo
So he did one module. -Chad
Correct. I did one medicine module earlier this year in order to deprive Ryuken the satisfaction of having a larger vocabulary than I do. -Uryu Ishida
*Oh! What have you been doing since then? -Orihime xx*
Law modules, mostly. I wanted to do a rounded degree before I specialise in forensic science. -Uryu Ishida
Come on, you can't honestly think I'd want to go into Ryuken's line of work? -Uryu Ishida
This... makes a surprising amount of sense. -Ichigo.
~~Yeah, you're certainly, um, precise enough for forensics! -Rukia~~
Is that your way of calling me fussy and demanding? -Uryu Ishida
~~... Your words, not mine. -Rukia~~
OH CRAP it just hit me that you've been studying law. Could you have me arrested for breaking and entering, considering I had to pick your lock? -Ichigo
Yes. But I won't if you clear up the toilet paper I have left in the corridor outside your door. -Uryu Ishida
Consider it gone. -Ichigo
... -Ichigo
Uryu? -Ichigo
What is it now, Ichigo? -Uryu Ishida
Do you know how to unblock a VERY clogged toilet? -Ichigo
Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me... -Uryu Ishida