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KP, RS and the Gang © Disney; All Original Characters © the Author
Chapter 21: It's Been A Long, Strange Trip
I.
Ron sighed as he watched the bus pull away from the campus stop. He missed his old scooter, even if it was a piece of junk. While he would have loved to have bought a car, he shelved that idea when he was demoted so he could have money to visit Kim at college. Wheels would be badical but having a girlfriend was so much better—even if it meant he was going to have to put his mad running away skills to work if he was to be on time for his interview at Chez Couteaux.
II.
Mr. Stoppable looked up from the numbers he was crunching and smiled at his two visitors. "Hello, boys."
"Hi, Mr. S.," Jim and Tim said.
"Can I help you with something?" he asked.
"Well, in a way …" Jim answered.
"… Though you'd really be helping Ron and Kim," Tim added.
"Hero work, huh?" Mr. Stoppable laid down his calculator. "Will I need my cape?"
The tweebs exchanged a knowing glance, then both grinned. "No …" Jim said.
"… But you do have something else that would be useful …" Tim added.
III.
"Sacre bleu! What is that?!" the head chef at Chez Couteaux screamed.
"Uh, sauce Béarnaise?" Ron suggested as words began to appear unaided – and unbidden – on the wall of the kitchen. Oh man, why couldn't Sensei just call me? Even the ghost thingie would have been better …
"That is your name, non?" the clearly agitated chef exclaimed.
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, it is," Ron conceded as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck.
"Stoppable-san, remember the darkness," the chef read aloud. "What does this mean?!"
"Well, maybe it's a sign from the seventh layer of heaven to not forget to use a premium dark chocolate when making dessert?" Ron offered hopefully, though suspecting that this message from Yamanuchi was not going to help him land a job as a pastry chef at Middleton's premier restaurant.
IV.
"I'm so sorry, Ron," Kim said.
"Thanks for the sympathizin', KP," he replied. "Man, this tanks."
"It so tanks," she agreed. "You deserve better."
"Well, at least I've still got my job at Smarty Mart," he sighed.
"And you've got me," she said, flashing him a brilliant smile.
"You sure you're down with dating a big-box retail drone?" he asked.
"No," she said. "I'm down with dating Ron Stoppable, ferociously cute guy."
"Yeah, but you could date anyone—"
"And I choose you. Now stop trying to break up with me."
"What? Me break up with you? Are you nuts? Even I'm not that stupid!"
"And neither am I. If I could get into Llenrock, I'd like to think I'm smart enough to know I already have the best BF in the world. Looks like we're stuck with each other," she said with a smile that made Ron feel like the luckiest guy alive.
Ron grinned. "You're the best, KP."
"Back atcha, boyfriend," she said before she blew him a kiss. "Don't worry, Ron. Everything's going to work out. You'll see."
"Yeah, well, thanks for believin'," he said.
"Though I have to admit Sensei's message does seem a bit—"
"Over the top?"
Kim cocked an eyebrow. "I was going to say worrisome. I'll ask Wade to stay on top of things."
"Man, you'd think that maybe being demoted, not getting a job, and being in a different state from you is more than enough darkness."
"I'm with you on that," Kim said. "You so deserve better on the job front and I so miss being with you. I can't wait till you visit."
"Same here, KP," Ron said. "Talk with you later?"
"If you know what's good for you," she said playfully. "Love you."
"You too, Kim. Keep it real."
V.
"Hey, Trixie, how ya doin'?" Ron asked the gorilla as he did the rounds of the pet department. "Lookin' mighty fine, Darwin," he complimented the orangutan. "Yo, Smiley," he said to the croc. Away from the animals, he found a crate to sit on and his shoulders sagged.
Rufus popped out of his pocket. "Okay?"
"Yeah, I guess so," Ron answered unconvincingly. He was in a funk.
"Buck up, Stoppable," a familiar, booming voice said.
"Mr. B?"
"Word's gotten around about your, er, reassignment," his old teacher said before he sat down beside him. "Don't surrender. Don't lose heart. Don't give up the ship."
"Uh, Mr. Barkin …"
"You got shafted by The Man because you had Possible's back," Barkin growled. "That's wrong."
"What? Having KP's back? Not doing that would not only be wrong, it would be wrong-sick!"
"I meant your being shafted by the Man was wrong," Barkin explained. "I'll deny I ever said this, but in all the years I've been on the Smarty Mart payroll you are the best Assistant Manager I ever worked for."
"For reals?"
"For reals."
"That means a lot to me, Mr. B."
"Thanks. But if you really mean that, you'll work your tail off so you can transfer to Llenrock."
"I'm tryin' but sometimes…" he said as he launched into a full-blown pity fiesta. He wrapped up the festivities by sighing, "Sometimes I can't help but wonder why KP even sticks with me."
"Don't. You. Dare. Go. There," a furious Barkin bellowed, his face inches from Ron's. The younger man was taken aback by his former teacher's vehemence. "Possible loves you. You love her. You will not mess this up. I expect to see the two of you engaged, if not married, at your Middleton High Fifth Reunion. Do I make myself clear?"
"Uh, yeah …"
"Good. I want to see your Latin homework and English history essay tomorrow at 0700 hours. Do I make myself clear?"
Ron looked slack-jawed at his one-time teacher. He considered what had just happened and where they currently were and what he wanted in the future. For Ron Stoppable, there was only one thing to say: "You got it, Mr. Barkin."
VI.
"Brudder!" Hana cried out as she ran to embrace her big brother.
"Hey, kiddo," Ron said warmly, his annoyance with being caught in the rain on the way home from work displaced by overwhelming affection for his little sister.
"Ronnie, you're soaked!" Mrs. Stoppable cried.
He sniffled. "Missed the bus home."
"You should have called," his mother chided.
"Well, I tried Dad but got his voice mail and I knew Hana had her Tot-Kwan-Do play group and I didn't want to get in the way of that so I didn't call you."
Mrs. Stoppable hugged her boy, not caring that he was wet. "You are such a good big brother."
"Brudder rock!" Hana said as she held onto his leg.
"Let me get you some chicken soup," Ron's mother said solicitously.
"I'm all about your chicken soup. Let me change first, 'kay?" he said before he let out a tremendous sneeze.
Ron was about to head up to his attic bedroom when he was stopped by the unusually firm voice of his father. "Ronald! Why are you so wet?"
He explained what had happened. His father simply shook his head. "There's no reason for you to be drenched. You have a car, you know."
"Uh, Dad, what do you mean?"
"Come with me to the garage, Son."
Ron followed his dad, Hana, his mother, and Rufus, who joined the family. Mr. Stoppable opened the door. There, in the garage, were two vehicles. One was a brand new sedan. The other was …
"Is that your old car?" asked Ron, amazed at what he saw.
"Tricked out and souped up by us!" Jim said as he popped out from behind the vehicle.
"Behold, the Kiminator!" Tim added. "It puts the Sloth to shame."
"We were going to call it the Ronmobile but your mom thought Kiminator would be cooler and we have to agree she's right," Jim said.
"Besides, we all know who's the driver in your relationship!" Tim gibed.
"Insult me all you want, I don't care, I'm in teen male heaven," Ron rhapsodized as he approached the completely rebuilt, redesigned land yacht that had once been his father's nerdmobile. The vehicle was now a vision of automotive coolness, even if it was still avocado green. "Does KP know?" he asked before he sneezed loudly and repeatedly.
"Nah," Jim said.
"We thought you could surprise her when you go to visit her!" Tim added.
"Uh—Ah-choo—question: why didn't you tell me you were doing this?"
The tweebs looked at one another, then back to Ron. "This is our way of telling you!"
VII.
"See you later, Traci!" Kim said to her fellow cheer squad member as she grabbed her duffel bag and rushed from the locker room. She was running behind schedule but hoped she could make the meeting of the Women's Self-Defense Club, for which she'd volunteered to be an instructor. Helping classmates learn how to protect themselves from unwanted advances from creepy classmates and other bad guys seemed like a great way to marry her knowledge of kung fu and desire to help people, especially after being hit on herself by the self-absorbed, wannabe-ladies man Troy Bell.
Focused on getting out of the athletic center, Kim didn't notice the figure lurking in the shadows, not did she see that the individual had pointed a weapon-like device at her. As she rushed by, the person aimed, fired, and shot a beam that quickly enveloped Kim in a field invisible to the human eye. For a moment, Kim felt disoriented, but then she regained her bearings. And then promptly walked right into a door.
"Ow!' Kim exclaimed before she rubbed her nose. I can't believe I just did that, she said to herself.
She left the athletics building and began to head toward the main quad. She crossed a street – and then tripped on the curb. As she made to get up, she slipped and fell flat on her bottom. Kim growled in frustration. This is so not funny.
Carefully, she rose to her feet. She was unsure of what was going on but her weirdar was going off. She decided to call Wade and was glad she was wearing her wrist Kimmunicator. What she didn't expect was that when she lifted up her arm to make the call, she would somehow manage to slam the device into her face.
Kim felt an unfamiliar sense of unease. This is so many flavors of wrong! she thought. Okay, get a grip. You're Kim Possible. You can do anything! she told herself. Even get back to your stinkin' dorm.
VIII.
After the Tweebs showed Ron all of the features of his new car he joined his family for dinner, gratefully eating his mother's chicken soup. He was about to compliment her when he sneezed again. And again. And again.
"Ronnie, you need to go to bed," his mother said, clearly concerned. She could remember him having just one cold over the last few years and it had been a doozy.
"Can't, Mom," he said. "I've got to finish my paper. Ah-choo!"
"Ronald," his father said, "While your mother and I, and I feel comfortable saying Kim, too, are all proud of how seriously you're taking your course work, you're sick and you need to get some rest. Now."
"But, Daad," Ron whined.
"Bed, now, brudder," Hana said before she did something that stunned Ron. He watched as his little sister's lip quivered and her eyes grew large, and knew he was defeated as the little girl unleashed a puppy dog pout that made Kim's, which he'd always thought was a primal force of nature, pale in comparison.
Ron sighed, got up from the table, went upstairs to brush his teeth and wash his face, and made his way to his attic room, where he changed into his pajamas, accepting that the Stoppable Fortress of Immunity had been attacked, breached, overrun and razed to the ground with the ruthlessness of the Romans salting the earth and wiping all evidence of Carthage from the face of the planet. Then he collapsed into bed.
But not before he sneezed.
IX.
Kim was bruised, muddied, and worst of all, mortified beyond belief by the time she finally made it back to her room. She didn't like to think of herself as being vain, but the idea that there were people gaping at her, and even a couple snickering, as she stumbled, bumbled, and tripped her way back to her dorm had left her feeling ferociously tweaked.
"Oh my gosh! What happened to you?" Fern asked.
"I wish I knew but I'm going to find out," Kim growled. She then described to her roommate what had happened that afternoon. When Fern offered to tell the Women's Self-Defense Club that Kim couldn't be with them but hoped to join them for their next meeting, she gratefully accepted the offer.
Kim looked at her wrist and gingerly raised her arm before she carefully activated the Kimmunicator.
"What up—Whoa!" Wade blurted out. "What happened to you?!"
"I don't know," Kim groused. "But there's something super freaky going on." She then relayed to Wade what she'd told Fern.
"Are there any villains on campus?" Wade asked.
"Other than an ego-inflated jock who won't leave me alone and the Bonnie-clone captain of the cheer squad, not that I know of."
"Okay," Wade replied, deeming it inadvisable to ask Kim what she was talking about. "Were you shot or zapped by anything?"
Kim grimaced. "See above."
"Well, let me take a scan and I'll see if I can detect anything."
"Thanks."
"Okay, done," he said. "I'll let you know if I find anything."
"You rock, Wade," she said before she ended the call.
Kim sat alone in her room, thinking about what had happened. She was glad Fern had offered to help and, as ever, appreciated Wade and what he did for her. But the person she needed was Ron, who was back home in Middleton. She got up, carefully went over to her desk, and retrieved the large-screen, old-school Kimmunicator, managing to knock down only one picture in the process.
She pressed the button and called her boyfriend.
"KB?" a half-asleep Ron said before he let loose a stream of sneezes. "Whab ub?"
"Oh my gosh, you sound awful," Kim said, suddenly focused on her BF's condition and not her own. "When did you get sick?"
"Ib hib me sometime roun' dinner. Ah-choo! Ah-choo! Uh, speakin' boud hib, you been mixin' id ub wid duh bad guyz?"
Kim sighed. "No, but something's going on," she said before she explained the situation.
"Oh-tay, I'b od my bay," Ron said as he struggled to get up from bed.
"Excuse me?" an incredulous Kim replied. It was clear to her that her partner was in no condition to travel.
"You're in trouble. I'be got your back. I'b comin'. Ah-choo!"
"You're sick and you're staying in bed," Kim said firmly.
"But, KB …"
"No buts, Ron. You can barely sit up. I can handle this without you."
"Oh …"
Kim wanted to kick herself when she saw the pained expression on her boyfriend's face. At the same time, she couldn't help but feel frustrated. While she felt bad that Ron was sick and feeling guilty that he wasn't there to support her, she did have to deal with her own highly challenging sitch.
"Ron, I'm sorry. That's not what I meant. But you are so not well and you so need to take care of yourself. Wade's looking into things and Fern is being awesome. We've got everything under control."
"Bern? Yur roommate? You, you gob a new sidekick?"
Kim rolled her eyes. "Overreacting much? I could barely make it back to my room. Fern offered to help. It's so not the drama."
"You say dat now, but doday she's pitchin' in and domorrow it's—Ah-choo!—zayonarah Rob Stobbable."
"Not happening, Ron," Kim said, trying not to sound exasperated but not really succeeding. "Look, I need to call my 'rents and sitch them. Talk in the morning?"
"Uh, yeah," he said. "Bye."
"Good night, Ron."
"Yeah, good night."
X.
Ron looked at his blank Kimmunicator, sneezed, then placed it on the nightstand. As he settled into his pillow, something bothered him. He shifted around in bed, trying to make himself comfortable, but with little success. He rolled over. He punched his pillow.
And then he knew why he was having trouble falling back asleep. It wasn't his cold. It wasn't his bedding. He and Kim failed to say they loved each other.
It wasn't a big thing, not really. After all, they didn't have to say it every time they spoke. It really shouldn't bother him.
But it did.
To Be Continued …