CPOV
I don't know what Jace thought he was doing. I was pissed. I was pissed at him, at Izzy. Jace didn't let me finish my own fight, and now he doesn't even fucking trust me enough to believe that I won't cut! Prick…
As his face neared mine my heart started beating faster and I got nervous. I was trapped under him and couldn't really move past him.
Just as his mouth was right above mine Izzy slammed the door open.
Jace shot off of me and I bolted off of his bed taking his pillow and throwing it at his head with a look on my face that I hoped said 'Don't try that again.'
After glancing at me he looked back at Isabelle.
Her face turned red and she looked at the ground, "Sorry, I'll…. Be back later…" Just as she was leaving I swear she muttered 'hypocrite' under her breath.
"What'd you just say?" I challenged her.
"Nothing." She hurried off.
"Bitch." I yelled.
I looked at Jace who was already looking back at me. I rolled my eyes and started walking out of his room.
He wasn't about to let me leave though, he grabbed my arm and turned me around.
"Clary, where are you going?" He asked.
"Home, now that I'm not trapped by you forcing me to stay here." I snapped yanking my arm out of his grasp.
"Can I at least drive you home?" He questioned me quietly, his eyes pleading with mine.
I sighed, "Fine."
Jace's face radiated happiness at that one uttered word, and I rolled my eyes at how happy that could make him.
Jace slipped on his shoes, grabbed his keys, and walked by me grabbing my hand as he did so.
I pulled my hand out of his grasp, "No." I told him sternly.
He looked defeated and just kept walking down the stairs and out of his house to his car.
Once we were both inside his car he put the key in the ignition, started the car, and we pulled out of his driveway without a single word said.
You could feel the tension in the car, at least I could, maybe it was just me who felt it. Jace did look pretty neutral; however, the air just felt thicker to me.
After what felt like forever of our silent car ride we arrived at my home.
"Thank you for the ride home, Jace." I said quietly with my head down.
I waited him to respond before I opened my door, "No problem Clary."
I got out of the car quickly and headed up to my house. Jace didn't pull out of the driveway until I was safely inside my house.
I didn't see or hear Valentine when I walked into the house.
I shrugged it off and headed upstairs to my bedroom.
Once in my room I closed my door and just stood in the middle of my bedroom. I wasn't sure what to do.
I wish I could talk to Simon… I miss him so much.
Sighing I pulled out my sketchbook, sat on the floor leaning against my bed, and started to draw. I wasn't really focused on what I was drawing and just let my hand glide across the paper. I could have sat there for hours, or minutes.
All I know is that when my drawing was done it was of Simon. I had capture the way his eyes lit up when he smiled his goofy smile. His glasses on his face slipping off slightly.
The picture hurt to look at. I quickly closed it and shoved it away from me. I stood up off the floor and headed down stairs.
I didn't have breakfast this morning, so I guess I should do that. I took a pill and looked for something to eat. I decided on eating a bowl of Apple Jacks.
Just as I was finishing up my breakfast Valentine walked into the house.
He didn't spare me a look as he walked down the hall to his room.
Putting the bowl in the sink, I headed back to my bedroom quietly.
Once inside I just sat on the bed not sure what to do with myself now. I could draw some more, but I didn't feel like doing that. I could… I don't know what I could or couldn't do. I didn't want to do anything really, but I also didn't want to be bored out of my mind.
Maybe I should take a nap. My head hurts from yesterday, and I didn't get that much sleep.
Content with that decision I rolled over onto my side pulling my blankets up and fell into a peaceful sleep.
When I woke up it was about seven p.m.
"Shit." I muttered hastily running out of my bedroom to go out to the kitchen and make dinner for Valentine.
When I got to the fridge though there was a note on it from Valentine it read:
Clary,
I'm going out again tonight. I won't be home for a while because I don't feel like dealing with you and your useless self. You better do well in school, and not eat too much. Keep the house clean, it better look nice when I get home.
-Valentine
What the fuck was with Valentine and notes anyways? He always leaves them. What's wrong with a damn call or text every now and then? Whatever, it doesn't matter.
I'll just have a peanut butter sandwich for dinner! I'm too lazy to really make anything else for myself.
After making and eating my sandwich I took a pill and headed to my bedroom.
Checking my phone I saw that I had a new text from Jace.
Hey, want to hang out? –J
I guess….? –C I was bored so why not? It wouldn't make a difference.
Cool! You want me to come over now? –J
Only if you want. –C
I'll be there in a few! ;) –J
Just so you know, I'm rolling my eyes at you. –C
I would expect nothing less of you, my dear Clarissa. –J
Call me 'Clarissa' one more time Jonathon. –C
… I'm done now. –J
That's what I thought. –C I smirked at my phone.
I'm leaving now. I'll be there soon. –J
Whatever. –C
I guess there was nothing to do now, but wait for Jace to come over.
I put on a pair of yoga pants and a tank top, slipping my jacket on over it. I don't care if Jace knows I cut or not it's still uncomfortable to have my cuts open revealing to him what I've done. I've seen him stare at my cuts when he thinks I'm not looking.
True to his word a few minutes later he was knocking on my door.
I took my time walking to the front door opening it slowly.
"Well, what do you want?" I asked teasing him.
"I thought you said we could hang out." He told me.
I rolled my eyes and opened the door for him.
We walked over and sat down on the couch; him in the middle, me by the arm rest.
"Can I see your arms?" He asked almost as soon as we sat down.
"Are you serious?" I snapped, pissed off, "Is that the only reason you wanted to come over?" I shouted at him. I stood up snaking my arms across my chest glaring at him. What the fuck, he only wants to see if I had cut. I don't even know why he fucking cares so goddamn much! He can just piss off!
Jace quickly stood up too, "No! I mean, yes I'm serious, no that's not the only reason why I wanted to come over! I wanted.. I just, I want you to be okay, but I also want to hang out with you…" He trailed off and stuttered. This was very un-Jace like for him.
"Why are you stuttering?" I questioned.
"Um, I'm nervous?" He tried raising and eyebrow and shrugging his shoulders.
"Why?"
"I brought some movies; do you want to watch them?" He asked effectively avoiding the question. Don't think I missed that he changed the subject because I really did notice. I'll just ask him later.
"What'd you bring?" I asked tentatively walking back to my spot on the couch.
"Well I brought: The Parent Trap, Haunted Mansion, Anastasia, and Fast and Furious, just because I needed some manly movie that Isabelle didn't tell me to bring."
I laughed. "Um… how about Haunted Mansion?" I asked hesitantly.
"Okay, cool. I'll go get it out of my car. I'll be right back." Ah that explains where the movies were.
I sat on the couch and waited for Jace to come in and pop the DVD into the machine and turn the TV on.
As the movie played Jace casually put his arm on the back of the couch behind me.
I rolled my eyes.
"Clary?" Jace asked a few minutes after the movie had finished.
It was a good movie, I liked it.
"Hmm?" I hummed back looking over towards him.
"Can we go to my house so I can show you something?"
I furrowed my eyebrows at him. Why do we need to go over to his house? "Umm, I guess?" I said, but it came out as more of a question.
He let out a breath and smiled, "Okay, cool, come on." He offered me his hand, but I stood up and acted like I didn't see it.
He grabbed his movie and we drove over to his house.
"What are you showing me?" I asked after sitting in silence for a few moments.
'I can't tell you, it's a surprise."
"That's such a child's phrase." I said amused.
"Too bad." He smirked at me.
I ignored him after that.
We arrived at his house not too much later.
He led me inside and to a room on the first floor. I followed slowly.
When I got to the room he was trying to show me I noticed it was like a music room.
There were a few guitars, and a grand piano. Jace grabbed an acoustic guitar and sat down on a stool. There was another one in front of him that he nodded at indicating that I should sit down on it.
I gave him a confused look, but did sit on the stool.
Jace smiled at me before strumming a few notes.
"Okay, ready?" He asked me with a genuine smile on his face.
I smiled back at him and nodded.
This time he continued to play notes.
Then he started singing.
Deep, deep inside of your heart
There is a weight that still needs to be lifted.
You cover it up, but the pain never stops.
Sometimes I wish that you would just listen.
Deep, deep inside of yourself
There is a soul starving for some affection.
Been waiting for years and the time passes by -
All you ever wanted was to fit in.
So I wrote you this song.
I hope that you like it
Cause you light up my life,
And I know you can fight this.
You're the most beautiful girl in the world,
And I wanted you to know.
You're constantly waiting for life
To start and fill up the surroundings.
If you only looked right by your side
You'd find that it never had left you.
You've lived through so much
And seen so many things through your eyes,
And I wish you could just see -
If it were up to me I would construct a key to your heart
and finally set you free.
So I wrote you this song.
I hope that you like it
Cause you light up my life
And I know you can fight this.
You're the most beautiful girl in the world
And I wanted you to know.
You can call me;
You've got no reason to hide.
You're so lovely;
Built with a beautiful mind.
You can call me;
You've got no reasons to hide
You're so lovely;
Built with a beautiful mind.
You can call me;
You've got no reasons to hide
You're so lovely;
Built with a beautiful mind.
Built with a beautiful mind
Built with a beautiful mind
So, I wrote you this song.
I hope that you like it
Cause you light up my life,
And I know you can fight this.
You're the most beautiful girl in the world,
And I wanted you to know.
I wasn't sure what to say. That song was beautiful and Jace was an amazing singer. I wasn't sure why he sang me that song though, so I just sat and waited for him to tell me.
"Clary, this song makes me think of you. You try to hide your pain and you do a good job, you are the most beautiful girl in the world, and you can fight this. I'm going to be here with you while you do it." He said looking at me earnestly.
"Thanks, Jace." I whispered. Nobody had ever really thought about me that much and it made me feel like someone may actually care. I felt my eyes start to water with that prospect.
He put his guitar down, but stayed on his stool. I got off of mine and walked over to him.
Wrapping my arms around him I whispered, "Thanks." One more time.
Jace simply wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head, "You're welcome." He whispered too.
"Do you want to spend the night?" Jace asked still holding me.
I thought about it for a moment then nodded my head.
Jace moved me away from him a little so he could stand up.
He grabbed my hand, and I let him, then we walked to his bedroom in silence.
Once we got in there I lay down on his bed and waited for him while he changed in the bathroom.
The whole time I had one thought running through my head: Why does he care so much? I decide to ask as soon as he gets back.
Jace came in a moment later and lay down behind me wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me to his chest.
I turned my head to look at him, "Jace?" I asked quietly.
"Yes?" He looked at me.
"Why do you care so much?" I asked bluntly, biting my lip after asking.
Jace looked at me for a moment. He kissed my cheek then said, "Because, Clary, I really like you."
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