A/N: Just to be clear, the Doctor's part of this is just after losing her to the other universe and Rose's part is after the beach.
Oh I suppose I should re-state that I own nothing, will make no money and am only borrowing the Doctor and Rose and shall return them in pristine condition.(Although you can't blame me if the Doctor decides to show off his TARDIS. Oh wait, no, this is the real world. Never mind!)
Doomsday
He stared at the control panel, not really seeing it. The TARDIS seemed so empty and quiet and he didn't like it. He knew he would miss Rose when the day finally came but he never dreamed he'd never be able to see her again, growing up from a distance. She'd been a force of nature and brightened his day just by walking in the door and now he'd never be able to tell her just how very special she was.
The Doctor wiped his hands down his face as tears spilled onto his cheeks. He felt alone and it was more painful than he remembered.
Rose Tyler had brought him back to life, seeing the universe through her eyes. The way she felt sorrow for other beings no matter what they'd done or who they were; the Dalek, Cassandra, even Elton after he'd upset Jackie. The thing about Rose Tyler was that she was extraordinary in so many ways and so very human.
She'd chosen him. He sent her away to safety, to be with her family but she'd come back, alone.
He'd told her how stupid it was, that she'd never be able to see her mother again and he knew he'd never forget what she'd said;
"I made my choice a long time ago and I'm never going to leave you."
No one had ever chosen him before given the chance. They all chose to leave him or were taken away. None of them had chosen him over their own family before. But Rose had and that choice was ripped away from her.
At least she was safe, he knew that.
His hearts had almost stopped as she flew towards the void but he'd felt a fleeting sense of relief when Pete had appeared. But it was only fleeting.
As the winds died down the impact of what had just happened had hit him.
Rose was gone and she was never coming back. She wasn't dead, he knew that, but she might as well be for him. He could never see her again; he would never know that she was okay without him.
Of course he knew she would be really. Everyone was okay without him but it didn't stop him wondering or worrying. She'd been his best friend and he loved her to pieces. There had been so many things he'd meant to tell her but like always he failed and hid them.
And that's what he needed to do now, hide. Float through the universe like he had before, finding one disaster after another so that he never had any more time to reflect on what he lost. And he'd do it on his own. But there was one more thing he had to do because, if he didn't at least try, he'd never forgive himself.
XxXxX
Rose...
Rose...
Rose...
There's one tiny little gap in the Universe left, just about to close. And it takes a lot of power to send this projection; I'm in orbit around a super nova.I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye.
Rose Tyler. Defender of the Earth.
You're dead, officially, back home. So many people died that day and you've gone missing. You're on a list of the dead. Here you are. Living a life, day after day; the one adventure I can never have.
Am I ever gonna see you again?
You can't.
What're you gonna do?
Oh, I've got the TARDIS. Same old life. Last of the Time Lords.
On your own? …..I lo--….I love you.
Quite right, too. And I suppose... if it's one last chance to say it... Rose Tyler...
XxXxX
She'd never forget a second of those two minutes on the beach. The look of such heartbreaking sadness on his face. It was plain for all the world to see that he loved her, even if he'd never got the chance to say it. And Rose clung to that belief as she lived her life the way he wanted her too. It had taken him months to get his message to her and she knew what that meant.
'I've been to the year five billion, right, but this... now this is really seeing the future. You just leave us behind. Is that what you're going to do to me?'
'No. Not to you.'
'But Sarah Jane... you were that close to her once and now... you never even mention her. Why not?'
'I don't age. I regenerate. But humans decay. You wither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone who you—'
'What, Doctor?'
'You can spend the rest of your life with me. But I can't spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That's the curse of the Time Lords.'
He'd found her, he'd found a way to talk to her even for just a few minutes and that meant more to her than anything he could have said. She knew the Doctor would never really tell her he loved her, she wasn't even really sure that love for him was the same as it was for humans, but she must've meant something because he kept his word. He could have just flown off without another thought but he didn't; he didn't leave her, he searched for a way, he burnt up an entire sun to see her one last time.
She wondered if he'd found someone to hold his hand, if he'd found someone to take the darkness away that she'd seen in him from time to time, and part of her was jealous, but she knew she didn't want him to be on his own. She'd made her choice but fate didn't want her to have it her way.
Rose pulled her key out of her pocket as she stared out of her window. The TARDIS would always feel like her real home and her thoughts strayed from the Doctor to Jack, and all those she'd met while travelling and it made her ache. But she wasn't going to cry anymore, the Doctor wouldn't want that. She was going to continue to do her job, working on the rift. Because if Rose Tyler knew one thing, she knew that she would never give up the hope that she might one day be able to see him once more, even if it's just to see that he's alright.
Once, Rose Marion Tyler would have thought of herself as a bit of a hopeless dreamer but now, after everything she'd seen and learnt from the Time Lord, she realised there was nothing hopeless about it. She was a hopeful dreamer and that was a million times better.
A/N: Eugh I hated writing this one. I much prefer them together than apart! Anyway runaway bride is next!
Please review!
"Catch ya on the flip flop!"