The One and Only

by bexaday

Miranda always loved Shepard even when she was meat and tubes, but Miranda thinks she knows Shepard and has got her all figured out, but when she awakens she isn't what she seems and all that research is a waste of time, setting Miranda back to square 1. May change to M for later Chapters.

21. Why Do This Now?

Chapter 21

Why Do This Now?

A/N: Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! So guys I thought I would be really nice and do this update on my birthday! So here we have it

Shepard's POV

Why did I not try to convince Jack to like Miri? This could have all been avoided if I had tried harder-

Don't be stupid, you did what was best for the team, Jack is a crazy bitch and was bound to piss off someone soon enough, it just so happened to be Miri

I just wish I had done something different

No point on dwelling on the past now

I shake my head as I walk towards the elevator, I just want to sleep and right now I need to be on my own, I walk into the elevator and I don't encounter anyone, which is good considering that I feel as if I am going to snap at someone any second, I walk to the very back of the elevator and press my head into the cold metal of the elevator, I sigh as it numbs my growing headache, I slump slightly trying not to jostle my newly healed wounds, I don't want Chakwas breathing down my neck again for it. I smile as that thought lightens my mood when EDI speaks

"Shepard the Illusive Man wishes to speak to you" I groan, why now? Of all times? I would be happy enough if I never had to speak to him again, after making me go back to Mindoir I do not think I can control myself if he mentions something about it

"Fine EDI, patch him through to the Debriefing Room, I will be there shortly" I sigh as I lean back and press the button for CIC and I just stand there waiting, no, dreading what is going to happen in the Debriefing Room, the door binges before opening to reveal a way- too-perky- for- my- taste Kelly Chambers, she turns to look at me and her eyes light up with that 100 watt smile she is giving me, gosh it is almost blinding

"Hello Commander, I heard about your operation on Jack, I didn't know you knew so much about medicine and being a doctor" Kelly exclaims and I just smile painfully as all I can see are her teeth, jeesh does she uses teeth bleach? God, it is making my head pound, I need a fast getaway

"Yes well we all have hidden talents Miss Chambers, all from experience in the past" I say giving a tight smile before starting to walk towards the Debriefing Room when she begins to speak again

"Talking of the past, I was wondering whether you would like some therapy into your childhood-"I cut her off there

"I require no therapy and my past isn't your concern Ms Chambers" I say, how dare she? She knows nothing of what I went through! The loss of the people I needed the most and there was nothing I could do!

But it is the past now and there is nothing you can do to change that

I know that, but it doesn't stop the hurt

I feel a slither of guilt as Kelly casts her eyes downwards and her cheeks flush slightly and she brings her arm across her body and rubs her upper arm, oh jeesh I didn't mean to offended her

"I didn't mean to impose on you Shepard, I just wanted to help" Kelly says and I sigh

"Sorry Kelly, I am just having a long day, I am sorry to have taken it out on you, but I am fine Kelly really," I say and I rest my hand on her arm and she looks back up at me and I give her a soft smile "I am fine"

Well that was such a lie

Well I don't want a physiologist on my back, I don't like having my brain picked open

Kelly nods and I nod back before slowly making my way through the hallway to the Debriefing Room, God, I really don't want to do this, so let's get this over with, with a sharp intake of breath I enter the room and open up the link as the table descends and I stand on the hologram plate, slowly an image of the Illusive Man takes place and I feel anger and bile rise up through me

"It is good to see you Commander" What is his problem? Did he just forget that I was in a coma? Did he forget I almost died trying to get the Intel he wanted and I feel myself snap

"So this is how you are going to do this? Just forget and carry on as if nothing bad had happened?" I say with astonishment

"There is no point worrying on what went wrong, we have to keep looking forward Shepard" I scoff

"You almost got me killed! You sent me on a mission knowing exactly what I was going to find!" I yell and by god he doesn't even move! He just sits there smoking and he takes a drag before replying

"You killed yourself, you let your emotions get the better of you and because of that you almost let your crew fall apart, that shows weakness" My eyes go wide and I point my finger at him

"Don't you fucking dare talk to me about bad leadership! You allow Cerberus to constantly fuck up in your so called "research" which sets humanity back years and earns us disrespect all over the galaxy, the one thing I have been constantly trying to bloody achieve! You're a terrorist organization for fuck's sake!" I rant at him

"Cerberus is there to help the advancement of humans within the galaxy so what if a few have to suffer for our advancement? We will become stronger than you know, but you, you allow yourself constantly to be ruled by your emotions, on Horizon it was Ashley, on Mindoir it was your childhood and now it is my own Cerberus Agent, you just keep taking what isn't yours, you just keep pushing! And so I wanted to push you, and maybe push some more until you broke, I wanted to see how far the great Commander Shepard has fallen from her high and mighty perch, well you are weak! Just like the rest of us!" The Illusive Man roars, but no fucking way am I back down now, he just used Miri against me and that is one step too far

"Don't you dare use my past against me! Don't you dare use Miranda against me! Yeah sure I let my emotions loose but that is what makes me, me. In fact without emotions we wouldn't even be humans, it is strength and a weakness, you just have to wield it properly, if you cannot see that then you are truly lost, as for Miranda. She is better than you will ever know and what goes on between me and Miranda is none of your business!" I yell back, he has risen from his chair and his posture is aggressive

"You're wrong, EVERYTHING on that ship is my business, she can never love you, see just brought you back just so she could use you, so Cerberus could use you and then once we have the necessary information you would just be another failed experiment."

"You are lying she wouldn't do that to me, and when this is over don't even hesitate to start running because I am hunting for your head, and I won't stop until you are no longer a threat" I state calmly as I stand still staring him in the eyes, my blood pumping dangerously hot, we keep our eyes locked and he sits down watching me with a carefully regarded expression

"Then you will stay away from her, otherwise someone is going to get hurt, I will not start a war about it with you, and if you want the continued aid of Cerberus, I suggest you be civil towards me" He says and I shrug while answering

"In every battle, there are always casualties, and I am always there to patch them back up, but she deserves to be free" I say and the connection cuts out, and tiredness hits me and I slump slightly as I stagger out of the room, letting my feet drag on the floor, thank god nobody is bothering me as I take the elevator ride up to my quarters and I just stand there slumped into one of the walls as I wait, which seems like forever, for the doors to open. They open and I have to force myself off the wall and I enter my quarters, I can't even be bothered to take off my clothes as I make a beeline for the bed, I fall on top of the bed and I manage to crawl under the covers as it starts to go black, I remember

"EDI wake me up when Jack is awake or if she wants to speak to me" I mummer, I hear some kind of response but I am too far gone to even care.

Miranda's POV

Shepard bolted from the shuttle with Jack in her arms like she really cared, and since entering the med bay over 5 hours ago I haven't seen her, but I have a bad feeling in my gut that the Illusive Man will want to speak with her and I cannot help but let my gut twist and flip at that thought, I frown slightly and I walk out of my office and into the mess hall where I go to get myself a cup of tea, I smile as I think about the cup of tea Shepard brought to me this morning, sometimes she is so adorable

Oh God, this is so mushy, I think I am going to be sick

Shut up, you were the one who forced us together

I keep going and I reach the kettle which has just boiled and I pour in some water when I see in the corner of my eye the Master Thief sat with her feet on the table reading a book, I roll my eyes, surely she has something better to do right now? I add the milk and sugar before turning round and sitting opposite Kasumi, her eyes flicker to mine and she carefully closes the old book

"Hey Miranda, how's it going?" I smile at her casualness, but then that crushing feeling of something bad is going to happen returns and I cup my tea firmly as I rub my thumb over the handle

"I don't know, I have this feeling that something bad is going to happen and I don't know what it is, but I have a feeling it involves Lexi" I say frowning as I look at my mug in my hands

"Well last I heard she had been summoned by TIM" I frown as I give her a puzzled look she sighs "TIM? The Illusive Man? God Miranda, for all those smarts, you not any good at anagrams" Kasumi says rolling her eyes, I fold my arms defensively

"And I have never heard anybody say that" I say as I stare at her, she looks to the floor and murmurs

"Yeah, well it will catch on" I let out a short laugh before getting up

"Whatever you say Kasumi" I walk over to the sink and I place my cup in it before returning to my office, I sit down at my desk and I can see I have a new private email, I frown as the sinking feeling grows stronger in my gut

To: Miss Lawson

From: Niket

Dear Miranda,

You need to move Oriana now! Your father has sent Eclipse mercs after her and they are planning to get he soon, the latest I heard was in 3 days' time so you have a pretty big time frame in which to act,

Only trying to help

Niket

This cannot be happening, as my breathing hitches as I begin to hyperventilate, not many people knew about Oriana, only Shepard, Niket and the Illusive Man, so who told my father, if my gut could sink any further south it would have. It was the Illusive Man, I knew he would sell me out! Damn it! What did Shepard say that could make him want to do that? What am I going to do? I don't have any more safe houses to send her to!

Calm down Miranda, everything will be alright, phone around in the morning arrange something and then talk to Shepard, she always knows what to do

I take a deep breath and yes you were right, I need to plan this out in the morning, somehow I will makes sure she stays safe.

Shepard's POV

(In the middle of the night)

I looked around but I couldn't see anything, in fact all I could see was a tint candle I was holding,

"Miri?" I called out, but my voice just rebounded back to me, I frowned and I touched the wall in front of me, it was clammy but cold, like… like a dead body, I gulp and I brought my candle closer only to see a stack of bodies, and when I looked closer at whom I had touched it was my father, his eyes had been pecked out and blood was still dripping from the bullet in his head, I clamped my hand over my mouth and staggered back into another pile only to see Rue's tiny pale face rotting away, I took a deep breath, try and stay calm I said to myself

"Stay calm, this isn't real, this can't be real" I say in a trembling voice, I look down at the candle and it is nearly burnt out

"Oh this is real" a voice says, and a shiver goes down my back as I turn around only to see Miranda, her body has been cleaved in half and she can just about see me as her mangled form pokes out near the bottom

"No, no Miri" I sob out as I fall forward onto my knees, that's when I feel something grab me I turn around and I see a hand trying to grab my arm, I back away when lots of hands start trying to grab me, I begin to fight against them but there are too many, they keep pulling at my hair and my body, grazing and scratching me, I pull too hard on one stack and they all fall onto of me and I feel myself drowning under their weight I try to fight against them but it is pointless, I try to scream but I can't there is no air in my lungs

"Join us Alexandra, join us"

I scream so loudly as I sit up right before letting my body rack heavy sobs

"It was just a dream, just a nightmare" I repeat to myself over and over, there is no way I am going back to sleep now, I am too worked up

"Commander, I am about to notify Operative Lawson of what has just happened-" I am still breathing heavy and my uniform sticks to me like a second skin, ugh, that's just gross

"No it is fine, really, I am fine, I just need… a hot drink" I say and EDI logs out, I sigh as I rub my face in my still shaking hand before standing on wobbly legs, I manage to have a quick shower before getting changed into my actual pyjama's which is little more than an oversized t shirt and some really short shorts, and I look at the clock, it is 3:00 in the morning, hopefully I won't wake anyone, I take the elevator down to the Observation Deck and I walk through to the Mess Hall, but not before I stop at the medbay and I poke my head in to see Jack, she has now got some more colour in her face and the swelling and bruising is starting to fade, I smile before coming back out of the medbay and I boil the kettle, I lean back on the side and I place my head in my hands, My mind just keeps seeing all those bodies, the weight of all those dead bodies on me, n not being able to escape it.

It was just a dream, well nightmare

I know but it doesn't stop the fact it felt so real

I sigh as I just stand there in the corner bit as I turn back to the newly boiled kettle and I pour myself a cup of tea. As I am adding the milk I see Miri in some yoga pants and an oversized t shirt, with the most gorgeous bedhead I have ever seen, she tries to smooth out her hair and she squints at the light, I almost end up laughing but, she just looks so beautiful, I don't want to ruin this moment, I try to quietly sip my hot tea as Miri's eyes adjust to the lighting, her eyes travel over the mess hall and my heart begins to pound, knowing that it will only be a few seconds until she sees me, then her eyes meet mine and she smiles but not before her eyes travel over my body, fuck I can feel them roaming on me.

"Hey" I say as I look at her from the rim of my cup and she pads over, letting her long legs take perfected strides, my body begins to tingle as she slowly makes her way over

"Hey, are you okay?" Miri says as she reaches me and cups my cheek and looks into my eyes with worry that makes me want just melt, I turn away from her and I put my tea down and busy my hands with make her a cup of tea, I don't want to burden her with my troubles, she has enough to worry about without me making it more difficult,

"Yeah" I say as I slowly stir in the hot water and add the milk, I add some sugar before handing it to her, I avoid looking into her eyes as I go to pick up my mug she takes another step closer and her hands go to my face, she tilts my face up towards her, her left hand goes over the dark circles under my eyes

"You've got dark circles under your eyes, and your eyes are red, what happened?" I say nothing as I try to shrug her off but she stays put

"I…It doesn't matter, we have better things to be worrying about and-"I begin as I look around on the floor

"Did you have another nightmare?" Miri askes softly and I feel like collapsing all over again

"It was so, so bad Miri, I thought I was dying all over again" I choke out in a haunted voice as I can still see Rue and my Dad, stuck in those piles, the hands grabbing at me, everything, she pulls me into a tight hug and I can smell her as a tear escapes my eye

"You can tell me these things Lexi, don't hide away from me" Miri murmurs into my hair as she weaves her fingers through my hair, I sigh as I begin to relax as she holds me, she knows what I need,

"I love you Miri so much" I say and she pulls back enough so I can look into her eyes, she cups my cheek and wipes away my tear

"I love you too" Miri says as she presses her lips to mine, and I can taste her and fucking hell, she tastes so good, her hands begin to travel over me and wherever they have been it leaves a burning sensation behind, her mouth becomes urgent against mine and I moan into the kiss and she licks my lower lip, asking for access and I give it to her and her tongue battles with mine for dominance and she moans as our tastes combine, I smile and I let her win as she lifts me up and places me on the counter and heat goes straight to my groin , I groan and my hands knot in her hair and I bring her closer to me and I lock my legs around her, I can feel her hand travelling up my thigh whilst the other makes its way under my bed shirt, I break free from our kiss for a breather and she takes the advantage and she begins to suck and kiss the skin on my collarbone and neck, I moan as she marks me, I can't wait no longer and I pull her lips back to mine and I crash them against mine, her hand has finally reached my left breast and I moan into her mouth and she smiles and breaks away from me and says

"Do you like that?" I moan a yes and I kiss her neck sucking hard on it causing my own marks to rise on her skin, then her fingers slowly rub my nibble and it hardens under her touch as it sends an overload to my core, without thinking I start to grind into her stomach and she moans so loudly it makes me come to my senses as I break away from her lips

"Not here Miri, not right now" I say and she sighs,

"I know I wanted to keep going too, but it isn't the right time" I say and she leans forward she kisses my jawline and it takes all my willpower not to react

"You seemed pretty up for it, if not more, I wasn't the one grinding" She whispers into my ear and it sends goosebumps over my skin as her accent is such a turn on for me but especially now as it gets stronger

"Trust me I really want it, seriously" I say to her as I lean into shoulder and I turn my head to the side so I am looking at her neck I lean up a bit and I can't help but say

"You should try being my pants, they are ruined and soaking, I hope you are happy" I smile as I feel her tense as she groans

"Why would you tease me like that?" I laugh as she leans forward more letting more of her body press into me, she is almost flush against me and everywhere her body is touching me is burning

"Because I can, I am the Commander and I can do things like that, my ship," I whisper before I kiss her lips once more, before she can deepen the kiss "My rules" I smile and she just stares at me and I can see the lust in her eyes, and her eyes are dark with lust, which just reignites my own, I try not to squirm under her gaze, the need to touch myself has never been so great

"Of course Commander" Miri says letting her tongue and accent roll over the word and I shiver and I push her away from me and I slide off the counter and take a sip of my now cold tea, I frown

"My tea is cold" I say as I stare at it with anger and a soft laughter fills the mess hall, I look over to see Miri laughing at me

"Seriously?" I pour mine down the drain but not before giving her a quick wink

"I take my tea drinking very seriously Ms Lawson" I say as my voice lowers and it becomes really husky and her eyes glint as I steal her cup and drain it, I put the cup down on the side and I lick my lips slowly as I look at Miri, her eyes are glues to my lips and I think she is starting to pant slightly, I bite my lip as I hold in a laugh, she eyes refocus on mine, I arch an eyebrow

"Why do you do these things to me?" Miri says and I try even harder to keep a straight face, I am going slower than I ever thought I would with her, I don't know why, but she is different from the rest.

"I don't know what you mean, Miri" I say as I leave the Mess Hall and begin to make my way towards the elevator, when I feel Miri's hand clasp my forearm and I turn my head to look at her

Miranda's POV

I don't want her to go, we hardly ever get these moments to ourselves and I want to spend mine with her, even if it is sleeping in the same bed with her, even if we aren't sleeping with each other, despite the fact I want her so badly, but she stops every time, and it is frustrating but I kind of understand, she doesn't want it to be something unimportant, she wants it to be something special

"Please, stay the night, just don't leave me" I beg, I feel blood rush to my face, I don't want to have to ask her every time I just want her to go into my quarters, she turns to look at me and her eyes are smouldering again and she smiles

"Yeah sure Miri" I smile and she takes my hand in hers and entwines our fingers and we walk but to my quarters and we walk straight to the bed, she lets go of my hand so we can get into the bed, my heart begins to swell with a feeling I cannot describe, but whatever it is, it feels great, just the sight of her in my bed is enough, she really loves me, I just wish she wasn't plagued by the nightmares, I crawl in next to her and she snuggles into me and I just smile as I wrap my arms around her and as soon as I begin to drift I hear her murmur

"Love you"

Shepard's POV

"Commander, Jack is requesting that you talk to her, she woke up only a 20 minutes ago" My eyes snap open then they relax, I close then again and my face scrunches up slightly before I stretch out legs, then I hear a giggle and I open one eye and I see Miri sat on the bed next to me just watching me with this dreamy expression on her face and a good feeling travels through me and a smile falls on my lips

"What is so funny?" I say with my voice coated thickly in sleep

"You, you look like a cross between a cat and a little kid" I smirk as I stretch out my back and my brow scrunches

"Well I am only 23, I am practically a teenager, as for the cat reference, it is too early for me to give a quick witty response" I say as my brain slowly begins to wake up and she pulls me on top of her and I let out a yelp in surprise as I straddle her

"Hmm I could get use to this in the morning" I say as I lean in and her lips meet mine eagerly, I take control of the kiss, making it slow, before it becomes too much and she grasps my arse and I give in and it becomes animalistic, I let out a small growl as she shifts slightly under me

"Commander, may I remind you again that Jack is awaiting your arrival" I groan and shoot her an apologetic look before running off to my room when she stops me at the door

"You had better make up for this" She says and I turn around and give her a lusty glare and wink and her mouth gapes slightly

Oh come, stop teasing her and fuck her already!

I will, just not right now

"I will" I say before running out of her office and into the elevator, I rush to press the button for my quarters

"Come on" I moan and eventually the doors open and I rush out and have a two minute shower and I rush down to the elevator whilst doing my hair, the elevator pings and opens and I rush to the medbay, the doors open and there she is slouching against her bed, and for the first time since I first saw her she looks well,

"Jack" I breathe out and I rush over to her and her amber eyes brighten up

"Shepard! Took your fucking time getting down here!" I laugh at her; it is so nice to have her back. I guess I missed her

"It isn't my fault I am not good in the mornings" I say brushing it off ad she just laughs, before her eyes turn serious again

"Doc tells me you are the one to thank for saving my shitty life, so thank you, for everything" I smile as I pull up a chair

"Jack, I am the one who kicked you off the ship so it is my fault what happened to you" I say, she winces as she goes to touch her head

"That, was al because I was poking around to found out about my parents, so I talked to a few brokers," I grin as I shake my head "and a damn turian told me it was none of my business to be looking around, so he hired the Blood Pack, but I didn't go down without a fight though, but they got me in the end." Jack said before going quiet I really want to put my arm around her or something but I know Jack isn't that kind of person

"I never thought I was going to leave, but then you came, a fucking light in the darkness, and trust me it was pretty shitty darkness too, but you saved a worthless piece of shit like me, man I wish I could have done the same thing, but I damn well known I wouldn't have, even after everything I did, you still saved my ass. Shit Shepard that takes a real hero"

A/N: So there we have it guys! Sorry I didn't get all of the conversation in with Jack but do not worry that shall be up soon so please review and thank you for reading