The Sardonic Adventure of Briar Casey

Author's Note: Everyone give risen truth ruthless lies a standing ovation; she went above and beyond and greatly helped me out with OCs in the sequel, including the main character.

Well, Guardian54, I'm glad that Seary's death made you think that way. And... you'll see. I have it all planned out.

Crap, Dodgerjoey, your review cracked me up XD! I was almost on the floor with Yorick. He shall be the king of Unova in our new world... And I'm glad you like the part where Briar and Skyla pay their respects. I wasn't planning on it, but it came to me a bit after I wrote that part and I added it in. And why Victini? I kinda like that little guy...

Yes! Finally! In all my years of writing I have never been able to write what happens in this chapter. Finally, my romantic side will be satisfied!

Disclaimer: I know! I'll get two brothers to become heroes and then have them fight until Reshiram and Zekrom destroy this world and make a new one! Wait, this is a disclaimer... I don't own Pokemon. There.

Chapter 19

That Annoyingly Romantic 'Kissing in the Rain' Scene

Skyla was so excited to fight me that she gave me a pass to go straight to her when I was ready to fight her. But I knew that in the position I was in, my chances of beating her, like her amount of clothing, was slim. So I went to Route 7 to train. There, I was able to get a feel for my Pokemon's fighting styles without being blinded by unreasonably blue stone.

Forget-Me-Not was short, sweet, and to the point. If I said Vine Whip, the opponent was being whipped into tomorrow in a matter of seconds. Say Quick Attack, she's on them before the order's done. I guess I'm a bit like that, too. Maybe that's why I've always liked her.

Tea was still my little acrobat, even if she was now a bit emo. There was more power to her attacks now, which she undoubtedly got from her old friend Seary. That was just one of the differences I noticed in her, though. Right before I was going to return her to her Poke Ball, she gave me a look as if to say "I want to evolve." Maybe I was beginning to get the hang of understanding Pokemon, if just through expression.

Ming's style was similar to Forget's in a sense of terseness, but due to the fact that she was a little karate master that learned dramatics from another little karate master, she looked a lot more awesome in the process. She went through Pokemon like she had a personal grudge against them, and was done with her training quicker than anyone else.

Dexter, of course, was ever the actor. A flip here, a battle cry there, and in between he fell on his face quite a few times. Good ol' Dexter.

Maybe it was because he's a spider and spider's sometimes inspire these feelings in people, but Fenris' fighting reminded me of a paranoid person. Like, he would wrap them in an electrocuting web and let them faint slowly before crawling back to me. Then, being the merciful trainer I am, I'd send him back out to finish them quickly.

Harvey was fairly easy to read. He liked the chaos of watching an enemy go down. He liked to watch them dance. And then he liked to beat the crap out of them. It was if he knew he was going to win, and he wanted to savor it. Kinda dark. But he was a ghost Pokemon.

"What's this?" Clyde asked when I handed him the pass written out by Skyla. It had started raining in the middle of Harvey's training, which made him grumpy, which meant I was impatient.

"It's a pass written by Skyla saying that I can skip all her annoying trainers and fight her. Now let me through." Clyde seemed to understand that I was not in the mood and made the wise decision of leading me to the gym leader platform.

"Briar!" Skyla exclaimed. "I've been waiting for you. Where've you been?"

"Training. Then it started raining. I got irritated. Now I'm going to beat you."

"Alright. Have at me, then!" You know that Electric-type Pokemon own Flying-type, don't you? Good. Then you know that Fenris was able to defeat Unfezant (Pidgeotto?) and Swanna easily. Especially Swanna. Talk about a double whammy.

"Go, Swoobat!" Skyla shouted, releasing a fuzzy, colorful bat. Crap. This must've been the evolved form of Zu- I mean Woobat. "Use Future Sight!" ... Nothing happened.

"Well okay. Hey, doesn't Bug-type beat Psychic-type?" I didn't really ask anyone.

"Yep," Clyde answered anyway.

"Do you even know a Bug-type move?" I asked Fenris. He twitched and did not answer. "Crap. Oh well, she's still Flying-type. Use Electro Ball." Still twitching a bit, Fenris sent the attack Swoobat's way. She dodged it dramatically, and Fenris twitched again.

"Use Attract!" Skyla ordered. Then the Swoobat started looking at Fenris like she was a freaking prostitute and BAM. My Joltik's in love.

"Just another reason to hate my life."

"Heart Stamp, now!" Then she started crying hearts and I was convinced this Pokemon needed a therapist. Unfortunately, before I could recommend Gracie, I realized a) she was dead and b) the hearts were hurting Fenris. Add on that I remembered what Future Sight was at that moment and Fenris was hurt by that as well, and you realize I was not pleased.

"Use Electro Ball, now!" I ordered. He just stood there. "Oh, that's right. You're in love now. Get over the prostitutional bat and do something!" Though reluctant, Fenris obeyed and sent a slow, useless Electro Ball her way. She dodged it easily, of course. "Fine then. I'll send Harvey in to do it." Fenris spun around and the look in his electric blue eyes seemed to scream "NO!"

And then they started glowing. And he started glowing. And then he was a Galvantula.

"That's what Galvantula looks like?" I once again asked no one in particular.

"Yep," Clyde answered again.

"Okay. Well, you still lovestruck, Spidey?" Fenris turned to Swoobat and nearly gagged. "Good to know. You know any good Bug-type moves now?" Fenris answered by shooting a colorful beam from his mouth that knocked Swoobat into oblivion. "Wait, you liar! You did that move during training. You've known it the whole time." Shaking, Fenris shrugged.

"Well that battle was all I expected it to be!" Skyla said excitedly. "Here you go: your Jet Badge." In her extended palm was a little gold badge in the shape of a turquoise wing. "And this is a present from me." In her other hand was a shiny, deep blue stone.

"A water stone?" I asked.

"Yep. I saw how jealous your Panpour was when your Joltik evolved. This should appease her." I stared at it for a moment before spinning around and tossing it to Tea.

"Catch!" She leaped and caught it in midair and was glowing before she even hit the ground. As quickly as it had been with Fenris, the glowing ceased, and she was taller and her hair was long and curly. "That's what Simipour looks like? Remind me to send that breeder a candy gram or something, she is feminine!"

"Well, do with it what you will. See you later, Briar Casey!" Clyde led me out of the gym, and it was just then that I remembered something.

"I'm hurt, man," I said to Clyde. "You didn't give me any fresh water."

"You didn't take it last time," he answered.

"But I like the fresh water!" I whined, suddenly feeling like a child to a father. "It's become a constant that I've grown to love, even though it's completely useless!"

"Well that makes me want to give it to you," he snorted sarcastically. "Alright, though. Ask me at the Iccirus Gym and I'll give it to you."

"Yay!" Wow. I hadn't shown that much emotion in a while. And I certainly never thought I would for something as utterly useless as fresh water. Perhaps this was what mentoring was meant to be? "See ya."

It was still raining outside, which meant that I was still grumpy. And who better to greet me outside than my favorite king N?

"Hey Briar."

"Sweet Arceus, N, stop being so creepy!"

"Sorry," he said, throwing his hands up. "Is it... not normal to wait for you?" I sighed, flicking what little amount of bangs I had to the side. The rain was making them stick to my face.

"It's normal to go in, watch me battle, and wait for me to finish so you can talk to me. I suppose it's not totally weird to stand out here when it's sunny. But, if you haven't noticed, dear Lord N, it's raining."

"I noticed," he said, looking up and letting the excess water from his hat drip into his eyes. "But it's just water. What's so bad about it?"

"You're not supposed to stand around in it!" I exclaimed. "You'll get sick! How long have you been standing there, anyway?"

"Since right after you went in," he answered. "Well, actually, this kid needed help finding this thing he lost at the end of the runway, so I helped him look for that. Luckily, you weren't done yet." I sighed again.

"Helping little kids. That's nice and normal. You would've done so well if you'd just went inside like a regular person after that."

"I guess I'm just not a regular person," he replied nonchalantly. Duh I wanted to say, but I held it in. "And speaking of that! I have come to talk about Team Plasma!"

"You mean you're going to tell me, the biggest nuisance to your stupid little organization since it first began to gain popularity, about your big plans so I can start making my own to stop you?" N deflated.

"Well... I was going to do something along those lines, but now I'm less inclined to."

"Good boy," I complimented with a smile. "I like surprises. And speaking of surprises, when are you going to talk to Dina? You were a total loser in the cave when you ran off. It made her sad."

"It did?" he asked in a way that made it sound like he'd done something a lot more awful then make the sensitive Dina sad.

"Yep. She just wanted to ask you about the Yamask."

"Does she like it?" he questioned sheepishly.

"Last time I checked she did. Oh well, if you're going to be a coward, you can go on ahead." And N seemed to have no problem doing this, despite the fact that he would forever be branded in my mind.

He redeemed himself in a moment, though.

"N! There you are!" Dina rushed through the downpour, slipping a bit as she scurried over to N. "I just wanted to thank you for Yamask. He's a great Pokemon. Why me, though? It was Earl's birthday, too."

"Oh, um... I only saw one?" N answered so quietly that I was almost unable to hear him.

"But... don't you not like to catch Pokemon?" N was blushing furiously by now and I was getting annoyed.

"No, Dina. He is completely against catching Pokemon. He caught one for you. Any ideas?" Dina rubbed her chin thoughtfully. Arceus, was it incomprehensible to this girl that someone might actually love her? Oh well. Time to play to her insecurites. She'd thank me in the end. "So were you going to challenge the gym, Dina? Or do you still think you're to weak to take anyone on?" At this, Dina looked down, discouraged, and N's head snapped up. "Yep. Lot's of people think you're weak. I mean, I don't, but there are some people."

"There are lots of people," she murmurred, curling her feet in to make a V. She did that often back home, when a visitor came to town and she and Gracie were sent to greet them. She did it when people told Gracie how pretty and sweet she was and paid Dina no mind.

"I'm pretty sure Earl thinks so. I know Ghetsis thinks so. He may be just pretentious, though..."

"I think so," she murmured, even softer than before.

"You're not weak!" N exclaimed, grabbing her shoulders. Dina was startled but was finally able to look him right in the eyes. He took a deep breath and continued, me more proud of them than I'd ever been... probably ever will be. "Weak girls don't stick up for one of weirdest people they know. Weak girls can't be around two idiot pranksters and too-mature karate masters and negative Kantonian best friends-"

"Hey! That's me!"

"- and still be as happy as you are. Pokemon don't love weak girls on sight." He gulped right as I noticed Earl and Cilan jogging up. When did they get here? "Weak girls don't make strong boys rethink everything they were ever taught." Dina shivered and looked down, and I don't think it was from the rain. "Oh, you're probably cold!" N took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders in one fluid movement, as if he'd lived his whole 16-year-long life for the sole purpose of doing that little thing. She looked up at him again.

"Oh yes," I murmured under my breath. "Briar the matchmaker." And then she kissed him.

"Hey Briar, what's going SWEET ARCEUS GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER YOU CRAZY PSYCHO!" Cilan and I grabbed Earl by the arms before he was able to clobber N.

"Well that's nice," Cilan commented, his voice strained due to the work he was putting into keeping his best friend from committing murder. Luckily, Jazelle appeared out of nowhere and pinned him to the ground, relieving us of that burden. She looked up and saw N and Dina, still kissing, laughed, and said:

"Get some!" I laughed and knocked her on the head.

"You little pervert. You're lucky that they can't hear us."

"I can hear you," Dina answered, breaking free for a moment before returning to the kiss. That's when Skyla appeared.

"Hey Briar, I was gonna- oh my Arceus this looks like sexual tension. Give me the deats!" I sighed and answered:

"First off, it's 'details', not 'deats'. And okay, he's the king of an organization of crazy knights wanting to liberate Pokemon."

"Oh! Oh..." she said, the first 'oh' excited, the second slightly concerned.

"And the girl's my best friend that is making him slowly change his mind since every Pokemon loves her, even though that little fact is not known by either of them."

"Oh. Oh!" she said again, this time the order switched. I turned when I heard an exasperated sigh from Jazelle. She'd gotten a pinecone- I don't know how- and was writing on it while sitting on Earl.

"The rain might wash that off," I informed her.

"Then he'd better read it fast!" she told me as she capped the pin and threw the pinecone right at his temple. His hand was out to catch it before it even hit the ground, and he switched from kissing to simply hugging so he could read it.

"What did it say?" I asked her.

"To stop being a freaking anime guy and say he loves her," she replied, still genuinely irritated. N gulped and looked Dina in the eye again.

"I love you, Dina," he confessed, resulting in a silent applause from everyone but Earl, who I think was unconcious. "You're good and strong and beautiful and represent everything wonderful in this messed up world." Dina laughed before releasing a little hiccup. She covered her mouth shyly before answering:

"Yeah, not too bad yourself." N laughed, picked her up, and spun her around. As she held onto him, he turned to Jazelle and mouthed: Was that good?

Perfect she mouthed back with a smile.

Author's Note: Awwwww... I hope that was nice. I've been waiting to write that for a while. And the "Get some" was SkullChicka's idea, and since Jazelle is based off of her, there it is (I messaged you, so if that isn't what you said... too bad. You say you're always on Facebook.)

Thanks for reading and please review!