Inspired by Seether and Amy Lee's "Broken"

Also, I am such a horrible tease. *cue troll face here*

Broken

Several days had passed since Garrus's return to Shepard's team. To her immense joy, she had enough people to stop taking Miranda and Jacob out on missions with her. The first time out to retrieve Warlord Okeer, it had been Garrus and Mordin at her side. The next time to retrieve Jack, it had been Garrus and Grunt.

Slowly the crew members were realizing that where Shepard went, Garrus was to follow, no exceptions. Even so, there was an odd tension between the two.

Once more hiding out in the bowels of the ship, Garrus ran through calibrations again and again. In truth, the weirdness was partly his fault…he was still mad at Shepard for just returning to his life and acting like nothing had happened between them. It wasn't fair to him…he'd mourned her and to some degree, still did. That and the anger he felt at Sidonis still burned in his chest like a fire.

The bundle of emotions that swirled around Garrus Vakarian was a volatile bunch. Anger at Shepard, anger at Sidonis, joy for Shepard's return, and that confusing one he'd never been able to name…the one that made his chest clench in strange ways. It frustrated him to no end.

Of course, Shepard hadn't been overly talkative since one of their first conversations. She'd come to inquire as to his activities on Omega and about what had happened with his team. Garrus told her all, as promised, and admitted that he planned to kill Sidonis if he found the scumbag. After that, Shepard had gotten very quiet and left.

Hissing softly, the doors to the main battery slid open, causing Garrus to turn away from his calibrations. There was only one person who had come to visit him down here…

"Shepard. Need me for something?"

Erin Shepard stood in the doorway, her face blank. Lacing her hands behind her back, she shifted from foot to foot. "Just checking in…seeing how you were doing. Wondering if you had any ideas on how to upgrade the Normandy for our fight against the Collectors."

Now that was something of a surprise. Garrus turned to rifle through a few schematics he'd had since before her death…he'd been given access to exclusive research on the type of guns used by Sovereign and had figured out a way to convert them for a ship such as the Normandy. "Yeah, I had a few ideas. Take a look."

As he handed over the schematics, Garrus watched Shepard's face as she looked them over. She certainly didn't understand all the fine technical bits, but the way she read every little line and set her mouth into the tiniest of human pouts was a little more than endearing. It was times like these, where they were alone that the awkwardness was at its worst. Both knew something was wrong, but nobody wanted to admit it.

Shepard's approving nod caught Garrus's eye. "I like it. As soon as we have enough materials I'll start construction."

"Excellent." The Turian turned back to his console, expecting the swoosh of the doors shortly after. When it did not come, he hesitantly glanced over his shoulder to find Shepard still rooted to the spot. "Commander, do you need something else?"

"Why do you have to kill Sidonis?" Shepard had blurted the question before she could stop herself, but now it hung between the two.

Slowly, Garrus turned to face Shepard. She looked apprehensive, her hands balled into tight fists at her side, but the blaze in her eyes told him that she was not backing down from this one. Well, if that was the way she was going to be, Garrus refused to back down either.

"Why are you asking?"

For a moment Shepard bit her lower lip, then set her jaw. "Because this isn't like you. This isn't the Garrus I knew aboard the SR1."

Venom dripped in Garrus's tone as he lashed back. "Yeah, well, two years on Omega can change someone. Especially when they've been thinking that their best friend was dead."

Erin hissed sharply and Garrus knew he'd crossed a line. Since her return she was reluctant to speak about her time being dead, despite the fact she couldn't remember any of it. "Vakarian, that has nothing to do with this and-"

"Why are you even here? Why are you alive?" His voice had jumped up several decibels and Erin flinched as if he had tried to physically strike her. "You were dead Shepard. Dead! I mourned you! I went to your funeral! I spent two years trying to cope with a world, a universe, without you in it!"

Somehow, everything Garrus was feeling seemed to tumble out in a rush, his rage that had been balled up for so long finally finding an outlet. In the mess hall he could see some crew members staring at the argument, but he could have cared less.

Balling his talons into fists, Garrus ranted on. "And now you just show up and act like nothing has happened. Who gave you that right? Do you have any idea what it's been like for us? For me?"

"For you?" Spirits, Garrus had almost forgotten that Shepard was an N7 graduate and could out-shout many a seasoned drill sergeant. "I was dead! I don't remember two years of my life and suddenly I'm here, alive again! I have nobody but you, you ass! Everyone I knew is gone or missing but you! How the hell do you think that makes me feel?"

Unconsciously the pair had moved closer together. Bright blue biotic energy surged along Erin's body, casting an eerie blue glow over the pair.

Deep in his throat, Garrus snarled. "You just don't get it. Maybe you should've left me on Omega for the mercs."

In the blue light from her body, Garrus could see something glittering on the edges of Shepard's eyes."Maybe I should have!"

"Fine!"

"FINE!"

Shepard stormed out and was in the elevator before anyone in the stunned mess hall could react. To his own surprise, the outburst had left Garrus breathing hard, the right side of his face aching. After a long moment, he stared back at the wide human faces, his rage lashing out again. "What?"

It must have been something in the Turian's voice but it sent the crew scattering. Even the Mess Sergeant scurried off to the med bay, muttering something about brandy. Garrus watched them go with a sick sort of satisfaction until the sound of slow, deliberate clapping reached his ears. He spun to see who had remained and froze.

Jack sat at the mess table, a mug of what Garrus suspected to be the human drink coffee in front of her. His time on Omega had taught Garrus not to fear many humans, but Jack took the cake. She was small, her frame lithe and wirey. Unlike most human females her head was completely shaven and she was tattooed from head to toe. Jack – which Garrus could have sworn was a male name – wore considerably less up top than even the Asari dancers in Afterlife.

Now the tiny firecracker of a biotic stopped clapping and leveled her dark eyes at Garrus. "Shit, I didn't know you two would ever go at it like that."

Garrus remained rooted at the top of the stairs, momentarily wondering if he was out of range of her biotic throw. "Yeah, well, Shepard had to know what was up."

The bald biotic sipped at her coffee, kicking her feet up on the table as she did so. "Maybe she did deserve it, maybe she didn't. Hell if I know. Thought you two were supposed to be best buddies or whatever."

Despite his better judgement screaming that this was indeed a very bad idea, Garrus slowly made his way towards Jack. "What do you mean by that?"

It was a good thing that most of the cups on the ship were made of a tough to break alloy, otherwise Jack might have broken her mug with the force she slammed it down. "Shep's been dead for two years. Everyone she knew has moved on or vanished except for you. She went and saved your sorry ass from three separate merc groups. I don't know anyone that batshit crazy, and that says a lot."

By now Garrus was standing at the edge of the table across from Jack. He hesitated before deciding that she would not kill him just yet and sat. Across from him, Jack's dark hazel eyes flickered with energy. "What are you getting at?"

Jack leaned back, seemingly at ease. "You're kind of dense, you know that? I'm saying that Shepard is just enough of a crazy bitch to care about what happens to you. From what I've heard, you two were close back in the day too."

Quick as a flash, Jack had leaned over the table, her expression solemn. "You're supposed to be her best buddy, right? Shouldn't you be able to realize when she's using a coping mechanism or whatever shit that bitch up on the CIC calls it?"

Realization caused Garrus to sit back in his chair. He hadn't thought about it that way…was Shepard just pretending nothing was wrong because she didn't want to deal with what had happened? It seemed so unusual…Erin Shepard always tried to meet her problems head on. But what the crazy biotic said…it made sense. It explained why she refused to talk about her death and her actions.

Rising, Jack moved towards the elevator. "It helps when you pull your head out of your ass and look around. Just saying."

As she left, Garrus sat very still in the silent mess hall, simply staring at the spot where she had been. Sometimes the best advice seemed to come from the craziest places.