Mystery Reviewers: Well, here you are, one update XD
JUNE 18
L forced his eyes open and looked around groggily.
Where...what is this place?
He was in a small room, bare of any furnishings except computer screens and a futon, similar to the arrangement he'd had with Watari. There were no windows and no obvious way out. He supposed the doors must be hidden like those in the old HQ.
How the hell did I get here?
Isn't it obvious? You got complacent. Did it never occur to you that Watari would have sent schematics of that building to Wammy's House, just in case they wanted to use it for themselves? Sato knows where every door, every panel, every trap is. I mean, let's face it; that's why you wanted to rig up those booby traps, isn't it? Only Yagami told you not to and you obeyed him without question like the good little pet you are.
Shut up! L reached out and felt the wall. Cold. Gritty. If there was a hidden door in this part, it was hiding very well. I'm not anyone's pet! And that's Yagami-san to you!
Whatever. Having divested itself of this brilliant retort, his other mind fell silent.
"Sato?" L's voice echoed eerily. "Where are you?"
No response.
"I know you can hear me. I don't know why you keep wasting your time; there is nothing you can do or say that will convince me to work for you. You might as well let me out."
Nothing.
You didn't really expect that to work, did you? his other mind asked.
L grimaced. No, he hadn't.
Alright. He's left me these monitors, which means there's something for me to work out. I need to be connected to the internet, otherwise I won't be able to solve any cases. He'll have blocked all access to the Yagami family emails, so who do I know that can help me get a message out to them? More to the point, who do I know that Yagami-san would trust?
Current NPA members were out, obviously. L doubted that Sato would have shut him off entirely – for all their genius, the field agents of Wammy's House couldn't work without the help of the police – but the man would be monitoring everything that L sent. He could make some sort of coded message, but Sato was no fool and any coded message too difficult or obscure for him to understand would likely be far beyond the understanding of about ninety nine percent of the NPA. Besides, any replies he received would be sent via Sato's inbox. That left ex-NPA members who knew Soichiro, and that left him with Kitamura. There had to be some way he could contact the man.
At that point, the monitors switched off and the room was plunged into blackness. L froze, completely motionless, breath suddenly coming thick and fast in his throat.
Alright. Irritating though it may be, his other mind was very good at offering words of comfort and reassurance...although lately when that happened it had started to sound like Soichiro Yagami, and L wasn't quite sure what to make of that. Alright, listen. You're not underground. You're in a tiny room—okay, maybe the room's underground, but that's different. It's the same as being in a basement. You're safe.
Safe? L's mental answer was little short of a shriek. I'm completely in Sato's hands, Yagami-san's nowhere to be seen, I've been locked up who knows where and you think that's safe?
What I meant was it's not going to cave in on you. You may be locked up but you're not buried alive. I promise.
L grabbed his wrist in his other hand and held it tightly. Watari had never been one for physical comfort and so even as a child, L had learned that if he wanted a comforting hand to hold or one that would pat him on the back and tell him everything was alright, it would have to be his own.
Yagami-san, where are you?
Oh, for—how old are you? Twenty three? Twenty four? And yet the first reaction you have now is to go running to Yagami for protection like some dumb kid! If Watari were still alive, would you be sitting here in the dark whimpering for him instead?
No, because if Watari were alive, then Sato wouldn't be coming after me in the first place!
True, his other mind conceded reluctantly. Alright. But you don't have to worry too much. For all his faults, you and I both know that Sato isn't the type to go around beating up people for his own pleasure. If you toe the line, you'll be alright.
Yeah, yeah, do as you're told and you won't get hurt. Tough. I'm not working for him and no matter what he does, that won't change.
A heavy hand landed on L's shoulder and he reacted with lightning precision, whipping around to kick at his assailant. He felt his foot connect with flesh, felt the V-shape of bone that meant he'd landed a hard blow to his attacker's solar plexus. Perfect.
It became somewhat less perfect when L's brain woke up enough to point out to the rest of him that he wasn't in some dark room but safe in his own lounge, and that the vicious, deadly assassin he'd just kicked was Soichiro Yagami.
The world yawned underneath him and he clutched at the couch to stop himself collapsing.
Did I kill him? Please don't let me have killed him!
"Yagami-san?"
The deputy director lay there motionless and didn't answer, although L's voice had been so small that it was possible Soichiro simply hadn't heard him.
"Yagami-san? Are you, um, are you alright?"
You just kicked him into a wall, you idiot! How could he be alright?
I don't care! Just make him be alright. Make him hate me, make him throw me out, make him beat me to a pulp but make him be alright!
Was that movement? A twitch? L glanced around for a phone, mind still buzzing and disoriented from waking so suddenly out of his nightmare.
Nothing. That was hardly surprising; Watari wouldn't have bothered to install phones, no doubt thinking that anyone who came in would make use of their own cellphones, with the noticeable exception of L, who had never been given one.
Cellphone! L scrambled over to the still prostrate Soichiro and dropped to his knees next to him.
"I'm sorry! Yagami-san, I didn't—I wasn't trying to—wait, I'll call an ambulance!" L dived into Soichiro's pocket so roughly he felt the fabric tear and pulled out the deputy director's cellphone.
"Ryuzaki..." It was a wheeze, but it was also proof that Soichiro was still alive and pure relief blazed through L, burning away any last feelings of disorientation.
"Yes, it's me, I'll get help, I promise, just hold on!" L opened the phone and started to dial, his hands shaking so badly that he could barely press the keys.
"No." Soichiro's voice was hoarse but firm. "No ambulance. I'm alright. Leave it."
Confused but unwilling to defy the older man, L slowly closed the phone and stared at him.
Told you so. You're his. And whether or not you want to be, whether or not he wants you to be, he found you, he took you in, he helped you and now you've just kicked him into a wall. Nice way to thank him! It's not surprising no one can stand you.
L drew back a few steps, never taking his eyes off Soichiro. "Yagami-san? Did I...hurt you?"
"No." Soichiro pushed himself up onto his elbows with what looked like a gargantuan effort, but didn't seem to have the strength to go any further. "Just winded. Really winded."
He managed to get his legs underneath him and moved into a crouching position not too dissimilar to L's, leaning back against the wall. "Where did you learn to kick like that?"
"Capoeira. Naomi Misora told me about it. Then she kicked me down a flight of stairs so I could see how efficient it was for myself and I decided to study it in more detail. Are you sure I didn't rupture any of your internal organs? I kicked you hard enough."
"If you had, I think we'd both know by now."
L dropped down in front of him, mirroring the older man's crouch, although in his case it was such a natural position for him that he managed it a lot more gracefully.
"What about your ribs? Did I break any of your ribs?"
"No. I'm fine."
"Can I get you anything? Coffee—no, wait, I don't have any left. Water? Strawberry ramune?" L persisted, although there was enough of his rational side left to hope that Soichiro turned down that last offer; he only had five bottles to last him the rest of the day.
"I'm fine, Ryuzaki," Soichiro repeated. "Stop panicking. It's alright. Just calm down."
"How can I calm down when you're dying in my kitchen!"
"I am not dying. Don't be so melodramatic." Soichiro reached up and gripped the kitchen worktop, pulling himself to his feet.
"Did I break your back?"
"For crying out loud, Ryuzaki, you didn't do anything more than knock the wind out of me! Now stop it. You're getting hysterical."
L, who had opened his mouth again – this time to inquire about the state of Soichiro's ventricles – shut it again with a snap.
He's right. I am getting hysterical. Of course I didn't break his back; he'd never be able to stand up like that if I had. What's the matter with me?
You just attacked your handler. That's about the biggest no-no in existence, you know that. Handlers are sacrosanct, to be obeyed without question, his other mind reminded him, in a voice that was uncomfortably similar to Watari's.
Yagami-san is not my handler!
Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that.
"I'm sorry, Yagami-san. I didn't mean to. I've never done anything like this before, not unless you count that time in New York and—" L shut his mouth, but too late.
"What happened in New York?" Soichiro asked.
Great. Now you've done it.
L hopped onto the couch and curled up, hugging his knees to his chest, and buried his face in them. Being in his ball had always helped before; it meant there were no crimes, no deaths, nothing but himself. Now, though, it didn't seem to be working. He could feel himself quivering all over, as though he'd overdosed on caffeine.
He didn't know how long he sat there. Probably not as long as it felt. L never could keep track of time when he was in his ball. All he knew was that after what seemed like hours, he felt the seat of the couch dip slightly on his right as Soichiro sat down next to him.
What's he doing?
What do you think, idiot? He's not going to let this drop, and he hasn't been in the NPA all these years without learning how to get information out of people.
Do you seriously expect me to believe that he's going to break out the thumbscrews?
What I think is that you can never say no to him.
Don't be stupid, L thought irritably. I've told him no plenty of times!
Yes, I know you've told him no, just like you told Watari several times. The end result was always the same; you cave in. You've got about as much willpower as a chronically depressed jellyfish. If you don't want him to know about New York, you better get out of here right now, because if he asks, you'll tell him.
L curled tighter, trying to bury himself in his knees. That's not true. I've never told him about Kyoto.
He's never asked about Kyoto, his other mind pointed out. He's let you know that he's curious, but so far he hasn't come right out and said 'Ryuzaki, tell me exactly what happened in Kyoto'.
No, but Watari did. I never told him, so I'll never tell Yagami-san.
Fine, except for one thing: you like Yagami-san.
L floundered mentally, trying to come up with a convincing (and suitably withering) retort.
What's that got to do with anything? I liked Watari as well.
Yes, because he was the only source of human contact you had outside of Wammy's House and a computer screen. After Kyoto you no longer gave a damn about disappointing Watari, but it would break your heart to disappoint Yagami-san.
I don't have a heart, L retorted. Ask anyone who's met me.
Brave denial, L – and extremely melodramatic – but we both know that's not quite true. You've become very fond of your new friend.
He is not my friend! I told you right at the beginning: I'm just using him, that's all. Once I've got everything I can from him, I'll leave.
Liar. His other mind's tone was tinged with cool amusement. You can't leave unless he lets you.
That's not true!
Oh really? Then prove it. He's going to start asking questions about New York any minute now and we can't have that. If you've managed to slip your invisible leash, as you once called it, then get out of here now. He'll let you go, at least for a while; he has to go to work, and that'll give you the rest of the day to find a good hiding place. Or better yet, leave Tokyo completely.
L didn't answer that for a long time. Eventually he said, I don't want to leave Tokyo.
No, what you mean is you don't want to leave Yagami. If he said he was going to Sapporo and wanted you to come, you wouldn't even stop to pack before running to his side.
It was partly his other mind's taunting and partly the desire to avoid any discussion about New York that prompted L to scramble off the couch and bolt for the door. Even with a bad back, he would still have put money on himself to outrun Soichiro, although he was less sure he could do so with a broken rib and a gash in his hip.
He never got the chance to find out, however, as the second his hand made contact with the doorknob, Soichiro said very quietly, "Ryuzaki?"
The young man froze motionless, every muscle in his body so tense he was quivering slightly.
Aww. Invisible leash getting a little tight, is it? What did I tell you? You're only free in your own mind. You could have kept going and been out the building by now, but no. The second your handler calls your name—
Shut up!
Face it, you don't have the guts to go anywhere, not if Yagami wants you to stay put.
L tightened his grip on the doorknob, squeezing it until the edges bit into his palm.
Alright, firstly I told you it's Yagami-san, and secondly, of course I can leave! I'm just choosing not to. It's got nothing to do with what he wants!
Yes it does. It was the same with Watari; you were never able to bring yourself to leave if he was in the room. You had to resort to sneaking out in the dead of night. And even then, you were always stupidly faithful enough to keep on trotting back!
I wouldn't have done after Kyoto, L shot back angrily.
No, that's true; you wouldn't. But then, Watari was never stupid enough to give you any opportunities for escape after Kyoto. If you weren't locked in your room working, you were under his eye the whole time. The only place he never followed you was the bathroom, and that was only because he knew full well you couldn't get out of there.
A hand touched L's shoulder and he jumped a foot in the air, spinning around to press his back against the door.
"It's alright, Ryuzaki," Soichiro said in the same quiet tone. "It's only me. You know me."
L moistened his lips, swallowing in a painfully dry throat. "You...touched me."
"I touched your shoulder, yes."
"Why?"
The deputy director looked at him for a few minutes. L got the odd feeling that he was trying to think of the right thing to say.
That's ridiculous. This is Yagami-san we're talking about. He always knows the right thing to say.
At last, Soichiro answered, "What do you mean, why?"
L pressed himself back against the door, barely aware that he was standing erect. At that moment he wanted to get as far away from Soichiro and as close to the door as he could, and if he had to straighten his back to press more of himself against that door, then so be it.
"Yagami-san...last time you touched me on the shoulder I kicked you into the wall!"
"Yes, I know you did," Soichiro said rather tartly. "I was there at the time. So what?"
L scrutinized the deputy director, still uncertain.
"Aren't you afraid of me?" he said at last.
"No. You were having a nightmare and you lashed out instinctively. Anyone would have done the same. I hate to break it to you, Ryuzaki, but in many ways you're just as normal as the rest of us."
L swallowed hard, Soichiro's words barely registering with him.
"Then...you're angry with me," he stated. Given a choice between anger or fear, he wasn't sure which of the two he would prefer.
"Well, I'd rather you didn't kick me into walls or throw ashtrays at my head, since you ask, but no. I'm not angry."
L was silent for a long time, considering this. It didn't make much sense, but then nothing Soichiro said or did fitted in with what L had been raised to believe.
"Are you going to hit me?" he asked.
"No."
"You can if you want to, Yagami-san. I don't mind. It would make us even." Given how torn up he was feeling just then, L thought being punched by Soichiro might actually be something of a relief.
"Some things aren't worth getting even for."
The young man stared at him, mind spinning.
"I don't understand," he said at last.
"I know."
L shoved his hands in his pocket and glared at the deputy director, guilt temporarily giving way to irritation. "Well, if you know, then why don't you ever explain things to me?"
"Because—" and L was sure he heard a new note of steel in Soichiro's voice— "you seem so determined to twist or misinterpret everything I tell you that I'm no longer sure how to explain things to you in a way that you'll believe! What's it going to take to convince you that I'm not out to double-cross or control you?"
L dropped his gaze.
"I don't know," he admitted at last, not looking up. "I...that's not something I ever had to think about, Yagami-san. I never had to deal with other people before, only Watari. Being controlled is all I know."
"No one was controlling you when you were out on the streets," Soichiro pointed out.
"I know, but no one expected me to live with them either. When you're homeless, you're completely invisible to people unless you upset them. The only one I had to worry about was me. Now I have you and your family around, it's different. And I still haven't forgiven Sachiko for trying to set me up with the stamp monster," L couldn't resist adding, not quite under his breath.
"Ryuzaki..."
"Well, honestly! It's not even as if I'd made noises about wanting a girlfriend. And could that girl's mother have been any more obvious?" Raising his voice to a falsetto, he went on. "Oh, Ryuzaki-san, you know my daughter is such a good cook! And she's very good at keeping the place clean and she has the sweetest nature, and there's no history of any kind of genetic disorders in our family!"
Soichiro chuckled. "I think you're exaggerating a little."
"I'm not," L retorted. "If you don't believe me, then ask your wife; she was there too. I think even the daughter was embarrassed. I know I would be if someone did that to me. Don't ever do that to me, Yagami-san," he added.
"Your love life is really none of my concern, Ryuzaki." Soichiro regarded him for a few minutes in silence. When L didn't say anything, the deputy director indicated the couch. "Come on. Let's sit down."
This is it. If you go with him now you might just as well hand your life over to him on a silver platter and have done with it.
I tried that already, L reminded his other mind. He didn't want it.
"Yagami-san, there's no time for that," he said aloud. "You'll be late for work and that will make you late for Sayu-san's birthday dinner."
"I'm not going to work."
L stared at him, stunned. "What? Why not?"
"Because if I do, you'll just spend the day by yourself, curled up and tormenting yourself with useless recriminations."
"So you're putting someone else's feelings above catching a group of serial killers? What kind of police officer are you?"
Soichiro raised his eyebrows. "Well, at least I've moved up from being your handler."
That's what you think.
Shut up!
"I'll rephrase it then. This is your daughter's birthday, you've taken the day off work, but you're going to spend it with me instead of her? What kind of father are you? Sayu needs you more than I do."
"No, she wants me more than you do. You're the one who's racked with guilt right now."
"I'm not racked with anything!" L protested.
Soichiro didn't answer that, just looked at L with raised eyebrows.
Wonderful. You can't even fool a single detective anymore. What's wrong with you?
Of course I can fool a detective, just...
...not if he's Yagami-san?
"Yagami-san—" L began, then stopped.
"Yes?" Soichiro said after L had been silent for several seconds.
L's mouth opened and closed once, then he blurted, "I just kicked you into the wall!"
Wonderful. He's starting to like us again and you have to go and remind him of that. Nice going.
The young man ignored this and went on. "Isn't—I mean, wasn't—I mean...didn't it hurt?"
"Yes." Still that same even tone, and L wasn't sure how to proceed from here. This was worse than any kind of recrimination Soichiro could have dished out.
Do you think this is a trick? he asked silently.
No, I doubt it. He's impossible to understand or predict, but from what we've seen so far, I really don't think he's the kind of person to play mind games.
"Why aren't you angry with me then?"
Soichiro shrugged. "It was an accident."
"No it wasn't. You can't accidentally kick someone across a room."
Will you PLEASE shut up!
"You didn't kick me; you kicked whoever you thought I was." As L watched, ignoring his other mind with a superhuman effort, Soichiro reached out and massaged his chest gingerly. "Who did you think I was?"
"I..." L began, then broke off and shook his head. The nightmare was already fading into a kaleidoscope of images, none making much sense. "I don't really remember, Yagami-san. I just know I was having a nightmare and I thought you grabbing me by the shoulder was part of it. Are you sure you're alright? Because I don't mind calling an ambulance for you."
"I'm fine, Ryuzaki. Really. You just knocked the wind out of me, that's all, though it's probably a good thing you weren't wearing your sneakers."
"Do you want painkillers? No, wait, I don't have any painkillers." L paused for a second or two, then said, "Do you want me to buy you some painkillers?"
Soichiro settled himself a little further back among the cushions, which took some doing. L loved cushions and he'd gone on a foraging trip through all the rooms shortly after moving in, collecting any he liked the look of and arranging them in little nests on his couch and on the beds and in one corner, just in case he fancied curling up on the floor for a change.
"What I want you to do, Ryuzaki, is to calm down and stop panicking. I already told you, I'm fine."
"Yeah, but I've told you that plenty of times and it wasn't true. How do I know you're not doing the same thing?"
The deputy director turned around in his cushions enough to give him a long look. He was moving a little slower than usual, but beyond that L couldn't see anything obviously wrong with him.
"That's a very easy one. Unlike you, I'm not a liar."
The barb hit home and stuck. L wilted, then clambered onto the couch and into his own nest of cushions, grabbing one of the larger ones and bringing it around in front of his knees, hugging it to him.
"I don't lie all the time, Yagami-san. Only when I'm scared. Or to stop people taking me into hospital when I don't want to go!"
"It doesn't matter why you do it; you shouldn't do it at all."
L returned Soichiro's look with a flat one of his own. "Right. Okay. Lies are bad, I understand that. Thank you for correcting my behavior. Oh, and while we're on the subject of correction, what happened to Light-kun again? Because your wife and daughter seem to think he was murdered by Kira for some strange reason. I mean, I'm sure you couldn't have had anything to do with that, since you hate lying so much—"
"I get the point, Ryuzaki, and that's not the same thing at all! The reason I said...what I said, was because losing Light would be hard enough for Sachiko and Sayu. I lied because I didn't want them to be hurt."
There was no way L was going to let that one go so easily. "Well, I lie because I don't want me to be hurt. Why is it alright for you to protect your family, but not for me to protect myself?"
"How is refusing to go into hospital when you have an infected injury that needs immediate treatment protecting yourself?"
L shifted from foot to foot on the couch, staring down at his knees, then buried the lower part of his face in his arms and mumbled, "Just is."
Congratulations. You just won first prize for Lamest Answer Ever.
Maybe you'd like to try explaining it to him!
"I see." Soichiro didn't sound convinced. L could hardly blame him. "On that subject, given your unexpected little martial arts display, how is your hip?"
The young man glanced up quickly, pasting a reassuring smile on his face. "Oh, it's—"
"Don't say fine."
"—great," L finished, not missing a beat. Evidently his reassuring smile needed a little work. He'd have to spend some more time in front of the mirror.
"Show me."
The young man hopped off the couch and took a step back, away from Soichiro. "What, now? Suppose someone comes in?"
"There's no one in this building who'll come to see you without knocking on your door first, Ryuzaki. I want to make sure you haven't pulled your stitches. That was quite a move you just did."
L turned away and had a quick look. To his relief – and amazement – the stitches were still holding. Facing Soichiro again, he said, "It's fine, Yagami-san."
"Mm. Well, I'd like to see for myself."
The detective drew back a few more paces. "You'll see it this evening when you come to pour that damn disinfectant on it."
"You were the one who begged to treat it with that damn disinfectant, Ryuzaki," Soichiro pointed out.
"And you were the one who said you trusted me a few minutes ago," L retorted. "What's changed since then? Or do you just trust me to be too domesticated to attack my handler again?"
The deputy director folded his arms, staring hard at him. "I'm not your handler."
"So you keep saying!"
"If you're too stubborn to admit that you're wrong, that's your problem."
"Yeah, it's my problem!" Residue from the nightmare and guilt over what had just happened shot through L, turning his mind to fire. "It's my problem that you think you know everything about me, it's my problem that you won't let me go, it's my problem that you expect me to be able to read your mind. Everything about this is my problem." L dropped onto his knees on the carpet and curled up into his ball, suddenly too drained to stand. "Why do you keep doing this to me, Yagami-san? I told you back in your office that I'm too tired to fight you anymore, so why do you keep making me?"
The silence between them was absolute and lasted a very long time. At last Soichiro said very quietly, "Ryuzaki, what do you want from me?"
L raised a haggard face to Soichiro. "Me?"
"You were the one who contacted me, remember?"
"Yes, and if I'd known what you were going to do to me, I would have stayed in Aomori to die. I wish I'd never sent you that goddamn email! Why couldn't you have left me alone? That's all I wanted from you. That's all I've ever wanted from anybody; leave me alone and solve your problems yourself!"
"I've never asked you to solve my problems for me." There was a sharp note in Soichiro's voice. "Nor have I ever asked you to get involved in this murder case. In fact, there have been times when I've practically had to fight you off. On the one hand you tell me you don't want to investigate any more cases, yet on the other you're doing everything in your power to persuade me to bring you on board this latest one. Do you see why I'm feeling a little confused?"
L kept quiet. There wasn't anything he could say in any case.
"On a more serious note, these explosions of yours are getting worse."
The young man just nodded. He didn't have the strength to argue the point. Besides, Soichiro was right.
"I didn't attack you because I was angry," he said instead.
"No, I know you didn't. But you need to do something about them."
"It's fine, Yagami-san."
Soichiro sighed. "Ryuzaki, tell me honestly: how stupid do you think I am?"
The young man opened his mouth, hesitated as he weighed up his options, then said, "Um...you did say honestly, didn't you?"
"Well, I suppose that answers that question," Soichiro said, not without a certain amount of bite.
L cringed. "I'm sorry, Yagami-san. But you did ask me. And you keep telling me how much you hate me lying to you. How am I supposed to know whether you want me to or not? Especially when you ask me to be honest about it. You're not the only one who's confused around here!"
Something softened a little in the older man's face at that and he answered, "No, I suppose not. But we need to talk, Ryuzaki. Or rather, you need to talk. Tell me what happened in New York."
Biting his lip, not looking at Soichiro, L shook his head slowly.
"Why not?" When there was no answer, the deputy director sighed. "I see. You don't trust me. Even after everything that's happened, you still think I'm your enemy."
"It's got nothing to do with trust!" L erupted. He could feel the fire churning inside him and shut his mouth hard. There was no way he was going to risk yelling at Soichiro a second time. Once he was certain he had himself under tight control, he went on in a strained voice. "Did it never occur to you that the only reason I won't talk to you about these things is because it hurts? That there are things I've seen and done that I just want to bury deep down inside me and forget about? That I don't want anyone knowing about, especially you?"
"Yes it has," Soichiro answered simply.
"Then why won't you respect that and leave me alone? How am I supposed to bury things when you keep sniffing around me and trying to dig them back up like some damn dog?"
"Because, Ryuzaki, did it ever occur to you that I know a little more about this kind of thing than you do?"
L didn't respond to this and Soichiro sighed. "Alright. If you won't tell me about New York, then will you tell me about Blue Ship?"
The young man glanced up at Soichiro, taken aback. He hadn't expected the deputy director to have that level of knowledge. The authorities or Wammy's House (privately, he suspected the latter, due to K's involvement) had hushed up the whole thing and kept it out of the press.
Don't wonder; just go with it. Blue Ship's safe to talk about. You still have nightmares about it, but no worse than the ones you got from your cases when Watari was in control.
"Where did you hear about them?" he asked.
"Your little expose on Sato. The reporter gave some background information on L. She said that you hadn't been seen or heard from since the Blue Ship incident, which was something to do with ecoterrorism, but that's all I know."
"Oh." L was silent, mind going back to that case. It had been a nasty one, even by his standards, although a small part of him had reveled in the simple joy of being outside so much. He'd even got to fly a plane. Well...taxi a plane. Well, alright then; run up to the cockpit, jump into the pilot's seat and slam the plane's brakes on before it crashed into the airport terminal if you wanted to be picky about it, but he'd been the one to do it, not some agent who could end up getting killed on his behalf. "There's not much to tell, Yagami-san. Blue Ship were an ecoterrorist group, you're right about that. They developed a virus with an extremely high communicability rate and one hundred percent fatality. Like most ecoterrorists, they were planning to wipe out most of humanity and they planned to use this virus to do it." L considered, remembering. "Or sell it to the highest bidder. I'm not entirely sure which, and I don't think they were either."
"What kind of a virus?"
"A nasty one. I never analyzed it under a microscope, but judging from the symptoms, I would say it was some kind of hemotoxin, or very similar." When Soichiro glanced at him, L shrugged, staring at his feet. "Well, I'm a detective, not a virologist. K was very heavily involved in Blue Ship; she was the one who helped to develop that virus in the first place. She murdered the scientist and the guy's daughter Maki somehow found her way to me. We ended up heading all over Japan trying to stop K."
He shifted his gaze to the deputy director's face, waiting for the penny to drop.
"K?" Soichiro echoed. "Then..."
"Yes. She came out of Wammy's House and vanished. Her handler was found dead, and it looked like he'd died so slowly and so painfully that the House hesitated to send anyone after her. Watari tried to make me track her down, but I refused."
"Why?"
L shrugged again, looking back down at the floor. He was getting to know his toes very well by now.
"I don't know. I think...maybe I thought she deserved to be free. I was only fourteen at the time and I'd just finished a particularly bad case."
"And Wammy's House never mentioned K to anyone? Even when Blue Ship was active?"
"How often do you mention Light-kun, Yagami-san? When someone so close to you goes so bad, you don't want to bring it up or dwell on it. The police don't want to admit there's corruption within their ranks, even though there probably is. You don't want to think about the fact that your son turned out the way he did. Wammy's House doesn't want to think that two of its children grew up to be even worse than your son. At least Light-kun started out with good intentions." L stared at the opposite wall, lost in thought. He hadn't yet returned to the large foyer where Light had died. He wasn't entirely sure if Soichiro had been able to either. "I got the antidote to the people on the plane, saved them all and stopped the plane from crashing into the main airport. K was arrested and is still in jail, and Suruga – that's this FBI agent who showed up, ostensibly to try and help out, in reality to seize the Death Note which I'd already burned – went back to the FBI."
Both of them sat there in silence for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts.
"What happened to Maki?" Soichiro asked at last.
Coming out of his reverie with a start, L glanced at him. "She was taken in by someone in Osaka. I don't know who; a relative, I assume. When I knew I wasn't going to die, I tracked her down and stood outside her school one day, watching her coming and going. She seemed happy and settled and she didn't see me standing in the shadows, so there didn't seem much point my barreling in and raking up the past, you know? I just wanted to make sure she was alright. She was, and she didn't need me anymore, so I left her to her life and went on with mine."
"What would you have done if she hadn't been fine?" Soichiro wanted to know.
L rolled his head back on his neck, staring at the ceiling as he considered this.
"I don't know. I guess...we would have worked something out. Maki's a good kid." Talking about this had a strange effect; L was now feeling a little more relaxed and clear headed than he had before.
You never know. Maybe Yagami-san's right. Maybe there is something to this heart-to-heart business.
Right. So when do you recommend I sit down and have a nice, cozy chat with him about Kyoto? Or New York? Even if I did, how long do you think I'd have before he threw me out the apartment complex? To the nearest second, say?
Well, in the first place, he can't throw you out of this complex since he doesn't own it, so you're safe on that score. And you told him about being buried alive as a kid and he didn't freak out.
Whose side are you on? You were taunting me about being completely at his beck and call not half an hour ago!
"Ryuzaki?" Soichiro asked with what might have been a touch of humor. "I'm sorry to interrupt the two of you, but have you calmed down enough to listen to me?"
L felt himself go bright red while his other mind snickered in the background, then he nodded.
"Alright. The reason I came here in the first place was to see if you were going to take Sachiko and Sayu on that tour."
Oh great. I'd forgotten all about that.
"Well, I suppose I'll have to do it sometime," L muttered. "Yagami-san?"
"Yes?"
"How long do we have to stay here? I mean, when does the police protection run out?"
"It doesn't. And we'll stay here until whoever's behind these murders is caught. Why? Do you miss our old house?"
L shrugged. It wasn't the house he missed – and he certainly didn't miss sleeping on the couch – but there had been something about the Yagamis' home that was, well, home-y. He missed being able to watch late-night TV (alright, he could always do that here, but it wasn't the same). More than that, he missed the odd but not unpleasant sensation of being part of something, even if it was only a very tentative part. An apartment wasn't the same as a house, somehow.
You just keep dreaming, L. What makes you think they'll be taking you back with them when they leave here, anyway?
"At any rate," Soichiro went on, "we'll be staying here long enough to learn about those secret doors you have."
"Do you think you're in danger here?" L didn't bother including himself in that question; as far as he was concerned, now that Sato was back on the scene, he was in danger anywhere.
The deputy director shrugged. "I've no idea. Probably not, but why take a chance? I'd like you to take Sachiko and Sayu around today, just in case." He got to his feet, managing to extricate himself from the cushions on the second attempt. "I'll go and let them know."
By the time Sachiko and Sayu knocked on his door some twenty minutes later, L had calmed down completely and even managed to greet Sayu with a smile (or at least a close approximation) and a terse nod to Sachiko. The memory of that lunch with her friend was still too fresh in L's mind for him to be more than frostily polite to her.
"I take it Yagami-san told you what we'd be doing?" he said, aiming his gaze somewhere between mother and daughter.
Sayu nodded. "Yes. Dad already showed us the secret doors in our apartment."
Good. That was one less chore L would have to perform at any rate.
"Alright. I can't show you all the others because it would take too long and I doubt you'd need to use more than about three of them in any case, but I'll show you the closest. Follow me."
He led them off at a brisk pace, one that would allow Sachiko and Sayu to keep up but would hopefully discourage any attempt at friendly conversation. Whether it did so or whether he was just giving off extra-prickly vibes, L never knew, but it worked; none of them spoke until they were in another apartment and he showed them a refrigerator that not only worked perfectly but if you pushed down on the shelf, would swing the entire appliance forward on a section of the wall and allow you to sneak through into the corridor beyond.
"Does it open from the other side?" Sachiko asked.
"That one does, if you know where to push. However, this one—" L headed over to the bathroom and pushed one of the wall tiles. A groaning, clanking sound emanated from the other side as the entire wall rose into the ceiling, revealing a very narrow, steep set of stairs— "can only be opened from this side," L finished. "That doesn't mean someone couldn't follow you, just that they couldn't use it to sneak up on you."
"Amazing!" Sayu stared at it, jaw hanging. "But...how..."
"The width of the building doesn't correspond to the width of the living spaces inside. If you measured it and did the calculations, you would see that this apartment should, in total, be thirty meters wide. Instead, it's only twenty eight." L pulled the bathroom mirror off the wall, opened the hidden safe behind it, pushed a series of buttons on the panel inside too fast for either Sachiko or Sayu to follow and replaced the mirror as the bathroom wall descended again. "Simple."
He turned and strode out, not bothering to check whether Soichiro's wife and daughter were following him.
"Ryuzaki-san..." Sachiko began.
L stopped and glanced over his shoulder. "What is it? Do you need me to go over it again?"
He hoped the answer was no; there were very few things L hated more than having to repeat himself.
"No. No, it's fine, but—"
"Good." L turned away and kept moving. This time Sachiko hurried forward and put a hand on his arm.
"Ryuzaki-san, I just want—"
"Please be so kind as to remove your hand from my person, Sachiko-san." L's voice was very soft and he didn't turn to look at her. "I believe your husband may have mentioned this; I don't like to be handled."
You do when it's Yagami-san doing it. You enjoyed snuggling up to him before, didn't you? Feeling all warm and safe and cared for—
Shut up.
"If you would—" Sachiko began again.
L's head swiveled to face her. He didn't know what kind of expression he was wearing at that moment, but from the way Sachiko's voice faltered, it wasn't a good one.
"I asked you to take your hand off me," he said in a monotone.
Sachiko obliged, stepping away. "I'm sorry. I forgot how Keiko is about her daughter."
"Her daughter is—" L bit down on the words boring as hell and settled for— "not my type. To be honest, and since you already brought it up, I don't know what you were thinking, trying to set me up with someone." He paused for effect and then ruined it by saying something so crazy, so monumentally stupid, that even in the years to come he'd wonder what the hell had got into him. "Did it never occur to you, Sachiko-san, that I already had someone?"
"You have a girlfriend?" Sayu's eyes danced. "Where is she? Why didn't she come to Tokyo with you?"
L abruptly drew to a halt and stared at Sachiko and Sayu with a mask of ice.
"I said I had someone. Past tense. She died about four years ago." His voice was harsher than even he'd ever heard it, with no trace of its usual controlled softness. A small part of him felt a kind of savage satisfaction at the speed with which both mother and daughter stopped smiling.
"Ryuzaki, I—" Sachiko began, reaching out.
L knocked her hand aside, furious not at Sachiko so much as himself for revealing what he hadn't even felt ready to talk to Soichiro about. For a few seconds he stood there, staring at them both, then abruptly he wheeled around and strode over to the wall. He hadn't shown anyone this secret door, purely because he hadn't considered it necessary – it led right back the way they'd come and wouldn't buy you more than a few seconds if that – but that was good; it meant they would find it harder to follow him.
He tripped the switch (this one was under the edge of the worktop) and a section of the wall clicked open. It was less impressive than the secret passage in and out of the bathroom, but it would do very nicely for his purposes.
"Ryuzaki—" This time it was Sayu who started toward him.
L didn't wait around to hear what else Soichiro's daughter had to say to him. Instead he stalked through the newly opened wall, pausing briefly on the other side to push the button that closed it up again.
The secret door slammed shut behind him and he was gone.