This story is No. 21 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or The Tick, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!
Summary: Buffy and Faith are on a road trip. They make a stopover in The City. Oi!
Author's notes: I thought, "Buffy has got to meet a lot people in her line of work." So, here ya go. This story is dedicated to my Beautiful, Wonderful Daughters who were the inspiration for this story.

A brown SUV rental rolled stately down the Interstate. As most rentals go its color was as drab and non-descript as it could get without small woodland animals trying to nest in it. Someone at the factory actually had the audacity to put that crappy fake wood paneling on the side of this vehicle. You know the kind that went out of style in the 70's before it could even begin to become a piece of 'Americana'.

Inside the supposed luxury land yacht Buffy guided this American Monstrosity carefully down the road. She was happy to actually be driving after having finally gotten her Drivers License just the past year. It only took… let's see, 17 tries, twice as many instructors, a few law suits that the Council Lawyers still had videos of, and … oh, let's not forget the three times she ended up almost parking the training car in the nearest ER due to the Instructor suddenly experience heart attack like symptoms.

Fortunately, only one was truly having a heart attack.

But pass she did! That is, after the State of California passed special amendments so that one Buffy Anne Summers would not EVER be able to drive ANY kind of Sports Car. Or Mini-Van, they were all still trying to figure out how it exploded in such a fashion. Buffy was incensed for that one as she had been attacked by a certain metal and alloy eating Demon. Turns out a few people in Detroit know about what goes bump-in-the-night and started 'lacing' a special alloy that doesn't agree with the digestive juices of that particular Creature. Unfortunately, for the Demon, this alloy spice is like a drug to them, but when they eat too much and it mixes with their stomach acids…

Think of the 4th of July at ground level. It's actually a pretty site from, say, a half-mile or more away.

"Thank God the rental agency had at least one SUV left," Buffy whispered happily.

Faith heard her. Slayer hearing, Duh! She said, "The Council called ahead and reserved an SUV at just about every rental agency in America Buffy," tapping the dashboard with out looking up Faith warned Buffy by saying, "Eyes on the road girl."

Good thing she did as Buffy had stared overly long at her sister Slayer in complete and utter shock. Returning her attention to the world outside her windshield Buffy jerked the wheel left then straight again to keep from rear ending a semi-trailer truck. Buffy was astonished that a huge semi could just pop out of nowhere, then quickly put it out of her mind as she tried to think of getting through the thickening traffic.
Faith, by now knowing Buffy's habits this deep into their Road Trip said, "Uh-huh, no Dukes of Hazard, keep to the speed limit, k?"

"Spoilsport."

"Naw, just a better developed will to live."

"Ha-ha," Buffy replied dripping with sarcasm.

For the next several minutes the silence was punctuated by the crinkle-crackle of the map Faith studied. Also, the sound of skin-smacking-skin due to Faith refocusing Buffy as she kept getting distracted by the radio, by the movie playing in the mini-van in front of them (Happy Feet), and by the fluffy, purple dice hanging from their mirror. The rear-view decoration was a gift from little blond 13 year old Emmanuelle, one of the 'baby-slayers'. She, in turn, had gotten it from her 'good mother' Tia Maria Louisa Emmanuelle Strauss (there was a Deutsche-lander in the woodpile).

"So, where are we again?" Buffy asked Faith who was re-checking her map.

Brows knit in concentration Faith examined the wrinkled, folded, and somewhat mutilated map they had gotten at the last gas station stop.
"Well…" she took a breath, "I think…" finally giving up the ghost Faith crumpled the poor defenseless map into a ball as tight as her Slayer strength could make. Having rolled down the window while doing so, she threw the map out with just a little too much force, "Damned if I know B," she finished looking back to her Road Trip buddy.

Neither noticed the poor deer behind them that was about to happily bound out into traffic on a dare. Just as it gathered itself to jump, being prompted by the ne'er-do-well, cigarette smoking Deer Gang behind him, the map impacted with its head with enough velocity as to knock it out before it even hit the ground.

The Deer Gang (that was actually what they called themselves as they weren't a very imaginative bunch) watched mouths agape, thinking there had to be a hunter nearby from the sudden violence of the perceived demise of their fellow Deer. Anger clouded their hearts and mind as they slowly melted into the foliage. They swore vengeance for their poor departed fellow Deer.

Said Deer, however, awoke 24 hours later in full health. Unfortunately he found himself in a lab having been abducted while unconscious by an Evil Scientist. Said Evil Scientist injected the poor hapless animal with a retro-virus of DNA taken from, on the sly, the actor Sean Connery. From then on the Deer learned to talk, walk, and drink Martini's. Shaken, not stirred.

The girls, the map, and the Deer Gang (who had wandered off their game preserve to their detriment) were all unaware this, nor did they care. The map, if maps could feel, was happy that someone caught it about thirty feet up as it hit the apex of its unintended flight. The new map holder had witnessed the previous events and decided it was important to return the map to its rightful owner as quickly as possible. Right after he folded it properly.

"Well," Buffy, still driving the SUV, said while glancing at her 'navigator', "according to the last sign we're coming up on The City."

Staring at Buffy incredulously Faith snorted saying, "Well hell, I can see that! The City is right in front of us. Was able to see the skyscrapers about ten minutes back, Yo! I just couldn't figure out the name of the place from that paper with the squiggly lines! And who folds those things anyways?"

Snickering, Buffy points to a sign coming up on their right saying, "That is the name of the city Faith. It's called 'The City'."

Staring in shock at the sign as they passed it Faith's mouth gaped open, body twisting as she continued to stare at the passed sign. Slinging back around Faith slumped in her seat. Crossing her arms she grumped, "Who the hell names their city 'The City'?"

"I know, right?" Buffy replied.

"Aw man," Faith said, "I threw out a perfectly good ma-"

She was interrupted by a tapping on the window.

She didn't want to look, but her head turned of its own accord. Staring at the sight she very slowly and carefully said, "Buffy, there's a guy in a white suit with white butterfly wings, and Easter Bunny ears flying outside our car."

Keeping her eyes on the road for once as there was a bus full of 'Salty-Goodness' from a Life Guards Convention ahead, Buffy huffed and said, "Well, roll down the window and see what he wants."

Faith stared at her for a few seconds in disbelief. After thinking it over she shrugged her shoulders, and accepting the insanity of the situation, said, "Okay."

She rolled down the window and the flying human butterfly yelled over the wind, "Excuse me miss, but I think this map is yours."

"Yeah," Faith said tonelessly taking the folded map from the flying man into her semi-limp fingers, "thanks."

"No problem," he replied smiling happily. With a salute and a twist he soared up into the air.

The Life Guard bus took the exit at that moment allowing Buffy to catch a glimpse of the air-born figure. Snapping her head down Buffy concentrated on the normality of the traffic around them.

After a few seconds thought Buffy said slowly "Faith, you weren't kidding, were you."

"Nope."

"Okay, so the guy in the white suit with the white butterfly wings flying away brought our map back to us?"

"Yep."

"Okay," Buffy said lightly, "I'm going to pullover now."

Action following suit she shoved the vehicle through traffic into the emergency lane on the side of the road. Once there Buffy stomped on the brakes, hard. Incidentally, not on purpose, she laid down some rubber by locking the wheels. As the monstrous SUV came to a complete stop in the following time zone, the burnt-rubber cloud caught up with them. Its white smoke covered their vehicle and obscured the forward view. Faith, no stranger to burnt rubber, was very grateful the windows were up.

"Um, Buffy?"

"Yes, Faith."

"Should I tell you that not only did he return the map but he folded it properly?" asked Faith, holding said item up for inspection.

"AAAaaaah!" Buffy yelled, pulling away from the map as if it had grown fangs and were going to bite her. Breathing heavily the Slayers calmed their racing hearts. They sensed the sudden presence at the same time. Slowly turning their heads forward they saw the burnt-rubber cloud clearing, allowing them to see out the windshield. A hulking blue figure, with what looked like insect antennae on his head became visible. Hands on his hips, huge grin on his face, he peered intently into their vehicle.

The girls yelled, "AAAAaaaH!"

The man in blue with antennae's sticking out of his head yelled, "AAAAaaaH!"

Faith grabbed the dashboard as Buffy grabbed the wheel and floored the accelerator. The car squealed forward knocking the blue man over. Not even considering slowing down they rolled over him with a *thump*, a *bump*, and laid more tracks as Buffy aimed for the perceived safety of The City. Faith jumped around on her seat to check the results of their mad dash out the back window.

"He's getting up B!" Faith said, alarmed. Twisting forward she yelled, "Floor it Blondie!"

"I'm flooring it already!"