AN. Thanks to the Resident Artichoke who has informed me that "Carlierrific" is now a word, which I love! Haha.

Camelot Emrys: Yes, the world would be perfect if we all had a Fiyero. And you'll find out the name and gender... in about 19 weeks ;)

WEEK 21

Your little one will begin to fill out over the next few weeks. Fat layers form throughout your unborn baby's body. These layers will eventually keep him warm and insulated once outside the womb. Soft hair, called lanugo, covers his body, too. His eyelids are still closed, making him appear like he's sleeping, but frequent wiggles will let you know he's awake.

When Elphaba and Fiyero had first moved into the manor, it had seemed a reasonable size for their first home. But once Fiyero had left for the military base in the Outer Vinkus, the five bedroom house seemed huge and empty.

Elphaba, who had always been a very independent person and quite happy in her own company, found herself at a complete loss and took to wandering the house aimlessly.

Not that she was alone- Kasmira, Ibrahim, and Kastle had all dropped by and invited her by for meals within two hours of Fiyero leaving. Elphaba appreciated the sentiments behind the invitation, but she would have liked a little more time to actually miss Fiyero before being surrounded by his- their family.

Fiyero left at about six o'clock that morning, and despite his objections, Elphaba got up to see him off.

"Be careful," she begged him as they stood at the front door.

"You too," Fiyero replied pointedly.

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "You're the one going to where they have rifles. I'll be fine."

Fiyero grinned and then kissed her bump lightly, before kissing her lips.

"I love you."

Elphaba smiled, determined not to give into her hormones and cry. "I love you too."

Fiyero gave her one final, deep kiss and then left, and Elphaba was left alone.

The first day wasn't that bad, but in hindsight, perhaps that was due to the visits from her parents-in-law and sister-in-law. Elphaba caught up on some paperwork, wrote a letter to Galinda and then made a batch of chocolate chip cookies.

When it came time to go to bed, Elphaba got into bed and found herself staring at Fiyero's empty side of the bed. She could count on one hand the number of times since their marriage that she and Fiyero had not shared a bed. And whilst normally, she'd be glad for the extra room, given how hard it was most nights to find a comfortable position to sleep in, she'd a million times rather her husband was beside her in bed.

The baby moved from within, although to remind her that it was here too, and she wasn't alone, and Elphaba smiled slightly.

"Goodnight, baby," she addressed her stomach, before wriggling into a somewhat comfortable position and closing her eyes.

Sleep didn't come easy to her, and not simply due to reasons of discomfort, but eventually she drifted off, her nose buried in Fiyero's pillow, which still bore his scent.

The next day, she'd promised to spend the day with Kastle, to help her finalise arrangements for Ibrahim and Kasmira's wedding anniversary banquet, which was only two weeks away. When she arrived, they were alone. Anton, Kastle informed her, had taken Noak and Aaylis out for the day to find a Mother's Day present.

"Is it Mother's Day already?" Elphaba asked in surprise.

Kastle nodded knowingly. "Next Sunday. The year's going fast isn't it? I can't believe it's May, already. Will Yero be back in time?"

Elphaba nodded. "He'll be back on the Friday."

She didn't think it really mattered though, given that Elphaba wasn't really a mother yet. But when she said that to her sister-in-law, Kastle disagreed.

"It totally counts," she argued. "And I bet Fiyero will think so too."

"Probably," Elphaba admitted, laughingly, knowing her husband.

"My first Mother's Day was about three weeks before Noak was born," Kastle recalled fondly. "And I insisted that it counted. Just because the baby wasn't born yet, didn't mean I wasn't a mother. And because I was crazy and hormonal, Anton went along with it," she laughed.

Elphaba laughed too.

"So, how do you think you'll go on the night?"

"I think I'll be fine," Elphaba reassured her. "I'm feeling really good, and I'll get to sit down a lot, so that will work."

"Feet hurting?" Kastle asked knowingly.

"Feet and back," Elphaba sighed. "It's not too bad, but if I had to stand up all night..."

The two women spent a few hours finalising all the details for the banquet. Seating charts, flowers and the menu were relatively easy, but what they had really been trying to focus on from the beginning, was how to make it a special night for Kasmira and Ibrahim and celebrate their thirty-five years of marriage.

"Are you and Fiyero both going to make a speech?" Elphaba asked, looking at her notes.

"I think that would be nice," Kastle nodded thoughtfully. "I know Fiyero said it should just be from me, because I'm the oldest, but I think Mom and Dad would like if we did it together. You can get him to write it, can't you?"

Elphaba grinned. "If I got him to complete homework and study for tests, a speech should be easy."

Two hours after she arrived, Anton returned with the children, and Noak in particular was thrilled to see his aunt, even though he'd only seen her about a week and a half ago.

"Hi, Aunt Elphaba!"

"Hi, sweetheart. How are you?" she asked, as he hugged her gently. He always did that now that she was really showing, which Elphaba thought was really sweet.

"I'm good. We went swimming yesterday! It's the first time Momma and Daddy said the lake was warm enough."

"Did you have fun?"

"I did. Aaylis doesn't really like the water, though. I wanted to dive in, but I couldn't remember the special dive Uncle Yero taught me last summer. When does he come home?"

"Next Friday. Eleven days from now," Elphaba replied and the little boy's face fell.

"That's ages away!" he complained, and Elphaba smiled faintly in private agreement.

Anton intervened here. "Elphaba, are you staying for dinner?" he offered.

Elphaba hesitated. "Oh, thanks, but I don't think-"

"Stay," Kastle urged her. "We're having lasagne, it's going to be delicious."

Elphaba chuckled, but had to admit it sounded a lot better than going back home and eating alone.

"OK, twist my arm," she laughed.

They had a lovely dinner, and as Kastle had said, the lasagne was delicious. Noak suggested several more baby names and even Anton and Kastle offered up a few ideas. Elphaba and Fiyero still had no idea what kind of name they were searching for, so Elphaba accepted all and promised to consider them.

By the time Elphaba made it home, it was just past eight o'clock. Noak had insisted his aunt tuck him in and read him a story instead of his parents, and Elphaba had been happy to agree. But as much as she loved Noak and spending time with her in-laws, Elphaba was an introvert at heart so she was more than happy to leave and return home.

Until she entered the front door, closed it behind her and realised how quiet and dark the house was. For all the alienation she'd suffered in her life, Elphaba had actually rarely been truly alone. Growing up, there had always been her Father and Nessa around; at Shiz, even before she and Galinda had been friends they had still shared a room; and then she had gone directly from there to sharing a bed and house with Fiyero. She'd always relished the idea of being alone, but now that she actually was... she wasn't so sure.

Silently, Elphaba headed to the kitchen and fixed herself a snack, and then wandered through the house. When she entered the library, she saw the pregnancy journal sitting on an end table and frowned.

She had written in it a few days ago, but that had been upstairs. So, she realised, Fiyero must have written in it since then, but she couldn't think when.

Curious, Elphaba picked it up and sat down, turning to the latest entry.

"Hi Baby,

So, I'm going away tomorrow, for a two week visit to the military base in the Outer Vinkus. Now, a part of me thinks it's going to be really cool, but the other part... well, I'm not thrillified about leaving you and your mom for two weeks. I know that you're not born yet, and not at that stage where I should be worried about missing your birth; but I am worried about missing something.

I don't know what I could possibly miss- you're kicking, you're healthy and I think that's pretty much the gist of what you're going to do for the next 19 weeks. But on the other hand... you had the hiccups the other day (no, I did not know that could happen in utero, but your mom and her books assure me it can), and well... I thought it was the greatest thing. You would have thought you were tapping out Morse code messages or something by how excited I got. Although now that I think about it, if you've inherited any of Momma's talent for Sorcery, I guess anything's possible.

So, my point is, there might be a gap here between my entries to you. So I wanted to write and explain that (even though by the time you read this, I don't think you'll really care). But it is so amazing to watch you grow into a real little person, who moves and hiccups and can recognise our voices... all this stuff that people do, but you're not even born yet. It's the greatest miracle that I never even imagined, not even when Aunt Kastle was having Noak and Aaylis.

But it is hard to write these, knowing that when you actually read them, you'll be eighteen. I don't even know what Oz or the Vinkus is going to be like in that time. There's so much we can't tell, and I know Momma and I have been trying to be careful not to give away anything for that reason.

And despite... many things, which I won't go into here, I hope your grandfather is in your life. I'm talking about your maternal grandfather, Grandfather Frex. I wish this because I guess a part of me can't help but hope that your grandfather is going to wake up one day and realise how amazing his daughter is. Your mom and your grandfather have a difficult relationship, but I know your mom wishes it'll be different for you. That he won't turn you away because of us. Because when it comes down to it, he is your grandfather.

Most of all, I wish you could know your maternal grandmother. Actually, I wish your mother could know her. I think she feels that she's missed out on something by not knowing her mother, some vital piece of wisdom or knowledge that is the answer to the question of "how to be a mother?"

Honestly, kid- I can't imagine how your mother would be a better person, or a better mother by knowing her own mother.

I can imagine that as you grow up, you'll have so many questions that your mom and I will have to find a way to answer that will help you to understand but to keep you seeing the good in life.

Questions about your Mom and her family mostly. And I think they'll mostly be the same questions your mom still doesn't have answers to.

But one thing I love most about your mom is that despite everything, she always sees the good in people and in the world. I hope you inherit that part of her.

Love, Daddy."

Elphaba wasn't even aware she was crying until the first tear hit the page and she blinked in surprise, before she registered what it was. And then suddenly, she couldn't stop and she was crying wracking, heaving sobs that she could hardly catch her breath in between. She missed Fiyero so much, it seemed to press down on her like a great weight.

The last time she could remember feeling this alone was three years ago when she and Fiyero had been apart, and the memories of that time just made her cry even harder. But it wasn't just that she missed him, but being without him and still feeling how overwhelming his love for her and their child was- even just through written words... it made her want nothing more than to be with him in that moment.

But she couldn't. Instead, all she could do was to pull one of his t-shirts on over her nightgown, get into bed on Fiyero's empty side, and hug his pillow tightly, breathing in his familiar scent. She was just thankful for her tears in that moment, because it saved her hours of waiting for sleep to claim her; instead once she was spent from her tears, her eyelids grew too heavy to stay awake and she happily gave in to their demands.

The next thing she knew, she was in labour, Fiyero by her side as Izanami stood at the foot of the bed and urged her to push. Through gritted teeth, Elphaba did so, and heard a loud cry, the cry of a baby fill the room. Both exhausted and exhilarated, Elphaba lifted her head to see her child and saw a baby with Fiyero's features and Elphaba's emerald green skin.

She stretched out her arms to hold the baby, and looked up to look at Fiyero. But Fiyero was staring at the child in disgust and before her eyes transformed into Frex, who stared dismissively at the baby and sneered.

"Take it away!" he yelled, his voice cold and hard.

And then the baby was gone from her arms and Fiyero/Frex had vanished and Elphaba was drowning in darkness, as she distantly heard her child cry somewhere in the distance...

Elphaba jolted awake and she sat upright in bed, looking around frantically as though trying to find the crying infant. As her brain caught up to reality and it sunk in that it had just been a dream, she became aware that she was drenched in sweat, trembling and her heart was thumping frantically in her chest.

It took her a few moments before she could manage to swing her legs around from under the sheet and stand up. Her legs were shaking underneath her as she stumbled to the window and pushed it open, allowing the night breeze to enter the room. Elphaba closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. The cool air was refreshing against her damp skin, and made her shiver slightly.

Slowly, Elphaba turned on a light and busied herself, trying to shake the memory of her nightmare. She took a cool shower, got another one of Fiyero's t-shirts from his drawer and put it on and then remade the bed with fresh sheets. The clock said it was a quarter to three in the morning, but it felt to Elphaba as though she had only slept for a few minutes.

But she couldn't shake the final image from her dream, no matter what she did. She still saw Fiyero staring at their green-skinned child in disgust and his sudden transformation into her father- like history was repeating itself. She didn't go back to sleep, she simply curled up as best she could on top of the covers, staring at the wall with the lamp still lit until she eventually dozed off, her arms cradling her stomach gently.

When she awoke next, the room was filled with sunlight, and she could see immediately that it was a beautiful May day outside. Her alarm clock announced that it was after eleven o'clock, and the first thing she was aware of was the baby had the hiccups again, which made her smile, despite everything.

As she got out of bed and pulled on a thin cotton robe over Fiyero's t-shirt that she wore, she paused as she heard a noise out in the hall. Her first instinct was Fiyero, before she recognised that it couldn't be. And then she heard voices and realised it was the maids, going about their daily duties. Elphaba usually made sure she was out or working when they came, and they had weekends off.

Elphaba ran a hand through her hair and walked into her en suite, closing the door behind her and locking it so that she wouldn't have to interact with the maids. They were both nice girls, but Elphaba wasn't in the mood to talk that morning.

"It was just a dream," she whispered sternly to her reflection. "Fiyero is not your father."

But she didn't seem that convinced. Elphaba had never wanted Fiyero home so badly.

AN. If interested, check out my blog (February 2013) for a short history of the T-shirt. Link on my profile.