Chapter 20.
Why you always looking for the limelight?
Ain't you satisfied with me?
For once why don't you get down off your high heels,
You're no big deal.
Can't you see?
Los Angeles.
Being surrounded by complete and utter chaos, gave Elena Gilbert a strange sense of calm. She knew it was strange, but it was true. She was more comfortable than she had been in weeks. She was relaxing back in her chair as the hair stylists and make-up artists' bustle around her, shouting orders to each other. She pouted, closed her eyes, tilted her head back and smiled when they told her to; for once in her career she was taking orders without the attitude.
By the way Caroline was glancing over at her with that bright smile of hers; she knew she was doing something right. Elena turned around, despite the protest of one of the hired help, and looked at the clock hanging on the back wall. It was evening already, it felt a little surreal to her; she had been getting ready since ten o'clock this morning.
For the first time today, Elena felt nervous. She was performing at the Grammy's tonight, the most prestigious honour anyone could have given her, with the exception of winning one. Elena took a few deep breaths, reminding herself that she wouldn't be alone in this. She had Damon. She always had Damon. And just the thought of his removed any thoughts of doubt from her body.
"Elena? What did you say you and Damon were singing again?" Caroline asked slyly as Rebekah tried to appear uninterested.
"You know that I'm not goin' to tell you anything." Elena laughed and winced as she felt a sharp tug at her hair.
"Oh come on, can't you tell you're best friends?" Rebekah whined, reminding Elena why they babied her.
"I want you to get the full impact. So you're just goin' to have to wait like everyone else." Elena stayed strong, despite the two girl's protests.
She and Damon had both agreed to keep their song a secret. From literally everyone. Alaric hadn't been happy about that, but he had finally caved in when Damon and Elena had promised him with something big.
Elena looked at her reflection in the vanity mirror facing her. Her make up was flawless, and nothing dramatic for a change, but it was nice. Her eyelids were covered with light golden eye shadow and thick black lashes framed her eyes, her lips painted a soft pink colour. Her hair was in soft waves with two pieces at the front pinned back so it wouldn't get in her way. For the first time in three years Elena felt like she had gotten pieces of the girl she used to be back.
It was comforting, she didn't want to be exactly like that anymore but the parts of her that she had hidden away felt like they were finally rising to the surface. It came with a price though; the little voice at the back of her head was back. One she had shut out so long ago. It told her that this was the part of her that Damon wanted, the old her. Not how she was now. Maybe he had deluded himself into thinking things could go back to exactly how they were. Damon wasn't in love with her; he was in love with the idea of her.
Elena pushed it to the back of her mind for tonight; it was the last thing she needed to think about. This was her night. The Grammy's. Everything that she had worked so hard for was given a chance to be recognised. She stood up from her chair and took a quick look at Rebekah and Caroline; both already looking perfect and dressed.
She slipped into the bathroom where her dress was hung up and threw off the robe she was wearing. She got herself into her dress and walked out again, holding it to her as her assistants quickly flocked around her; hurrying to do up the buttons on her dress. She rolled her eyes but kept back the snarky remark that was on the tip of her tongue, she was trying to be good after all.
"The press is going to have a field day with you. I'm not looking forward to counting how many best dressed lists you're going to make." Caroline winked and looped her arm with Elena's, Rebekah taking the other side.
"We have men waiting for us in the lobby." Rebekah giggled and Elena laughed with her, enjoying that the poor boys and probably been there for a while.
"I don't think we should keep them waitin' any more." Elena smirked and led the girls out of her room and into the elevator.
"Are you nervous?" Caroline asked, squeezing Elena's arm.
"I'll be fine. Damon will make sure I don't fall off the stage." She tried to answer it like a joke, but her voice was far too unstable for either blonde to take it seriously.
"He always will take care of you." Caroline whispered in Elena's ear, as a smile spread across her face.
"I know he will. As long as I don't mess it up again." Elena replied, her eyes meeting with Caroline's.
"Even then, I don't think he could leave you. But if you think that way, then just make sure that you don't. You're capable of making it work Elena, you just have to try."
Elena nodded and turned her head forwards again, keeping her eyes trained on the elevator doors that were bound to open at any second.
"We need to get through tonight first." Elena sighed and tightened her grip on the two blondes as the elevator stopped and the doors slowly peeled open; revealing the three men on the other side.
Rebekah ran straight into Stefan's arms and he twirled her around in circles; making her pink dress swirl around her thighs in a blur. They looked like the definition of young love, Elena thought as she watched Rebekah slip down as Stefan pulled her close into his chest, whispering words of endearment in her ear.
Caroline and Klaus were different. Klaus stood still, his smile bright and his eyes full of silent admiration. Caroline laughed softly, spinning around in her dress with a small smile before Klaus grabbed her kissing her full on the lips and looking like the happiest man in the world.
Elena saw all this from the corner of her eye, but she never really took her gaze off Damon. He looked perfect, as usual, but seeing him all dressed up in his expensive suit and made her heart stop. He was gorgeous, and he was driving her absolutely crazy.
What she didn't know was how Damon was feeling exactly the same way. She was stunning, far too beautiful for her own good. She literally looked like an angel to him, and for a brief moment Damon caught himself thinking about how she would look if they ever got married. He needed to banish all thoughts like that from his mind; they wouldn't do him any good.
He loved her, so much that it hurt, and her looking like she did right now was killing him. He let his eyes shamelessly rake over her, making sure he would always remember the way she looked tonight.
"You look absolutely stunning." He said breathlessly as she smiled up at him from underneath her eyelashes.
"I'd better. This is Valentino." Elena smirked and stepped into his open arms, wrapping her arms around his neck; resting her head against his.
A comment like that would have been snarky and condescending, but now it was just a part of their usual banter; it made Damon smile that they had finally got to a good place.
"You say that like it should mean something to me." He teased and held her hands up so he could interlock her fingers with his.
"I expect too much of you, it would seem." Elena replied dramatically, her nose gently rubbing against his.
She held herself as tightly as she could to him, not willing to burst the perfect bubble they had created around themselves. The way he was holding her, so close and desperately, made her feel like the only girl in the world. No matter what had happened between them over the years that had never changed. The ability, that only he had to make her shine.
Damon pressed a gentle kiss against her forehead, still in complete shock at how beautifully sweet she looked. His own personal angel. He ran his hands across her waist, leaning down to gently nibbling on her ear; before quietly whispering,
"Come on Cinderella, it's time to get you to the ball."
. . .
Elena paced in her dressing room, probably not the best idea with the height of her heels, trying to refrain herself from running a hand through her hair. Butterflies were fluttering in her stomach at the thought of going onto that stage in just a few minutes time, in front of everyone who mattered in the music industry. She was still so young, a baby in other people's eyes, and to be performing tonight gave her more anxiety than she could comprehend.
All of this, combined with the fact of feeling terrified of looking into Damon's eyes and feeling things she shouldn't, was pushing her to the brink. The paparazzi had gone into a frenzy tonight, clambering to make sure they all had a picture of her. Even though she was used to it by now, it seemed different somehow, and Damon's calming words in her ear had helped her deal with everything so much easier. The press had loved that, continually asking the two of them for joint interviews to talk about their 'couple status'.
After they had gotten off the red carpet it was straight in with Alaric and Jenna and working the room, with a champagne glass in each of their hands. The alcohol had done little to stabilise her nerves. Alaric had taught her from her very first day of being signed that you needed to always know who to talk to. Always know who to impress. So Elena was well used to working a crowd, her southern charm coming into play. And Damon naturally exuded some sort of confidence that made people listen to him. Together they were making Alaric an extremely happy man.
Elena whipped around at the sound of her door opening and closing, and froze in shock when she saw Damon leaning against it.
"We need to talk." He said desperately walking quickly to her.
He was standing so close to her, but not touching, far enough away that it felt like they were miles apart.
"Can't this wait? We're about to go on stage." Elena answered swiftly and crossed her arms over her chest.
"It can't. This is the biggest performance either of us has ever had, and I can't do it until you know exactly how I feel," He grabbed her hands from her chest and linked them with his.
She couldn't breath, why did he have to do this to her now? Damon knew she wasn't ready to spill her feelings to him, so why was he putting himself through this again? She didn't need any extra pressure tonight, either did he, and the thought of having this conversation was making her nauseous.
"Damon, don't go there." She warned, trying to pull away from him.
"To late, 'Lay. I'm already there. I have been for far too long. I love you, more than I can explain. I love you so much more than I should, but I wouldn't change it for the world. And I know deep inside you, you wouldn't either. I need you to be honest with me for once in our messed up relationship. I need you, Elena."
Elena could feel the tears in her eyes and turned her head away from him, blinking quickly to stop the tears from falling. No need to destroy an hour's hard work worth of eye make-up. He couldn't say this to her, not now, mere minutes before they were due to go on stage. Not when he knew that he wanted words she couldn't say.
"I can't do this right now. I'll see you on stage." She whispered quietly before running out of her own dressing room, leaving Damon there by himself.
Bumping into Caroline scared Elena half to death, as the blonde placed to hands firmly on her shoulders. Caroline carefully looked Elena up and down, trying to figure out why her best friend was practically sprinting away from her dressing room.
"What did Damon do this time?" Caroline sighed and squeezed Elena's shoulder.
"It's my fault, not his Care. He actually had the guts to tell me how he felt and I basically threw it back in his face because I'm scared." Elena laughed without any humour, looking anywhere but Caroline's eyes.
"Well you're due on stage now, that's what I was coming to tell you. I'll go get Damon, just breathe and calm down. You only get to do this one Elena, don't go into it with regrets already. You can fight and cry all you want after this, but right now you need to put it past you. For yours and Damon's sake." The blonde said sweetly before walking swiftly down the hall to retrieve Damon.
Breathe Elena, don't ruin it all now, she thought to herself before walking back stage and allowing the rode to hand her a microphone. She took a quick peek at the crowd and let herself smile at how ecstatic Alaric looked; she would always do anything to make him proud of her. Damon came jogging lightly towards with his microphone in hand, holding out his other to her.
"It's only three minutes Elena. We can look united for that length of time at least. After everything that we've been through to get here, we're not giving up now." Damon said strongly as Elena gently slipped her free hand into his.
She squeezed his hand tightly in hers and leaned against him heavily, praying that he still cared about her.
"Please don't hate me. I'm sorry." Elena leaned up to whisper in his ear, rubbing her cheek against his.
"I could never hate you. You should know that by now." Damon let his head fall against hers, forgetting everything for just a while.
Elena and Damon's heads both looked up at the same time when they heard the presenter call out their names, before the back stage manager signalled for them to go on stage.
"How are y'all doin'? I can't even explain how honoured Elena and I are to be performing tonight, and that most of all, we can do it together." Damon smiled to crowd as the cooed at his sweet remark.
"The greatest gift Damon and I were ever given was our music. And tonight, we want to give it to all of you." Elena added and Damon placed his microphone into the stand as he was handed his guitar from Matt Donovan with a more attitude than he should have.
When the crowd's voices died down Damon's eyes locked eyes with Elena's. He couldn't help loving her, no matter what she did to him. He couldn't let her go again, he didn't think he would survive it.
Don't you try to tell me someone's waiting.
They're not waiting for you.
Oh and don't you try to tell me that you're wanted.
That you're needed.
Cause it's not true.
I know why you're lonely. Why you always looking for the limelight?
It's time you knew it too.
No one will ever love you, no one will ever love you.
No one will ever love you like I do.
Ain't you satisfied with me?
For once why don't you get down off your high heels,
You're no big deal.
Can't you see?
I know why you're lonely.
It's time you knew it too.
No one will ever love you. No one will ever love you.
No one will ever love you like I do.
I'm all you got.
I'm all you'll ever need.
I'm all you'll ever have
No one will ever love you. No one will ever love you.
No one will ever love you like I do.
Like I do.
Like I do.
Elena's eyes never once left Damon and let him, for once, take the reins. She watched as he thanked the audience as every last one of them stood up. Giving them the highest praise they could. Being on stage had never felt like this before, and the though scared Elena.
Her music and performing meant more to her than anything, it was the only reason she survived her break up with Damon. But right now, she felt more alive than she ever had. Singing had been her distraction, a way to forget about everything that had happened to her. Now, she couldn't imagine being on stage without Damon.
Something had changed since they started their joint tour; she had gotten back the music she had fallen in love with. And it was all thanks to him. If he left her again, all the magic she had gotten back would disappear with him. She knew she loved him, so why was she fighting him off? Elena needed him more than ever, and Damon had made it pretty clear that he needed her too. There had to be something wrong with her.
Elena waved to the crowd gently, letting Damon wrap his arm around her waist, pulling her into his chest. She sighed happily into his chest as he carefully led her down the metal stairs, off the stage. This was where she was meant to be, for the rest of her life by his side.
She couldn't live without him. Not anymore. Not ever.
. . .
Damon tried his best to keep his gaze from lingering to the girl beside him. She was inhumanly beautiful, and he was pretty sure that he wouldn't be able to keep his emotions in check for the duration of the night.
He had been able to keep himself occupied by paying close attention to the artists accepting their awards, clapping and smiling when necessary. But he could still feel Elena's eyes burning into his head. A small part of him knew that he missed it when she would eventually look away from him. Everyone started to feel a slight pang of nerves when the country section was about to be announced. Damon had won his first Grammy last year, it still sat proudly in his living room, and he knew he was the front-runner for this year's awards.
Alaric was sat on Elena's other side, with Jenna beside him. Stefan was next to Damon, followed by Rebekah, Caroline and Klaus. Caroline was trying her best to keep her calm façade, even though she was having anxiety attacks every few minutes. Alaric was giving himself away by the death grip he had on his wife's hand, poor Jenna's face was paling by the minute; whether that was from the pain in her fingers or the worry for her only niece.
Damon let himself take one quick look at Elena, and seeing the way her nose was all scrunched up; in a way she only did when she was stressed. He linked his hand with hers as they announced the nominee's for best country song. This was Elena's first time being nominated, but she was stubborn. Damon knew this wasn't the award she was aiming for. She wanted the Country Solo Performance of the year. She had been going for that since she started to make it.
"And the winner, for Best Country Song is… Damon Salvatore, Gun For A Mouth."
He let out a breath as a smirk spread across his face; he stood up and shared a man hug with his brother and Alaric before bracing himself to go on stage. Damon was stopped though, by a pair of slim arms threw themselves around his neck. He automatically held Elena by her waist, and buried his head in her curls.
"You have no idea, how proud I am of you." She whispered in his ear before pushing him away.
He walked, slightly dazed, towards where his award was waiting for him. He knew it was wrong, but he though Elena would be slightly bitter. She had worked harder than anybody he knew to get where she was, and she was more than a little temperamental. Seeing her so happy for him, it gave Damon hope. Hope that maybe, after all, she did love him more than she loved herself.
Damon accepted his award graciously, thanking everyone he needed to, before making his way back to his seat as soon as he could. He was still mad at her, he had reason to be, but he just wanted to be near her for now. Elena needed the support that only he could give her.
Other nominations were read out, and both Damon and Elena clapped at the appropriate moments, and smiled when they felt the camera's on them. But neither of them was really paying attention. Elena was getting more and more stressed as each award passed.
When the nominations where read out for best Country Duo or Group Performance, he felt Elena stiffen beside him. Gave her a quick, reassuring glance and smiled as she grabbed his hand like had grabbed hers.
"And the award for Best Country Duo/Group Performance goes to… Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert for If I Didn't Know Better."
Caroline screamed beside him as their whole group erupted into cheers. Damon didn't care about any of them at that moment, he could only think of Elena. He pulled at their joint hands until she was in arms and spun her around in circles. Placing his arms around her waist, he led her to the stage and carefully helped her up the steps were she shakily held onto the crystal award that was handed to her.
"Thank you all, so much. I can't explain how much this means to me, or to Damon. I want to thank Alaric Saltzman, our manager and producer, for taking a chance on us. Caroline Forbes, my publicist, for being the best friend that I ever could have asked for. My momma and daddy, for always encouraging me to follow my dreams. But most of all, I want to thank Damon. Because without him, my world would be a darker place." Elena said softly and leaned into Damon as he stepped closer to the microphone.
"Thank you guys, again, for being so amazing. This award means so much more to me, because I get to share it with my best friend. I can't imagine life without her." The crowd ooh-d and ah-d at that, loving how Damon never once took his eyes off Elena.
Damon hated how he loved her, it was painful and hard, but she was worth it in the end. Even if she didn't think so herself. But he was tired of waiting; he had waited over three years for her now, and he was beginning to wonder if she would ever give in.
. . .
Elena's mood had dampened considerably since she and Damon had won their award. She had watched Album of the Year go to another young starlet, and was feeling the pressure of winning something on her own tonight.
No one else could understand what it would mean if she won something by herself. For the years that she had been in this industry she had made her name by singing 'Bubblegum Country', the marketing people never allowing her to do the music she wanted. She had won her award because of Damon, the people that had decided who won had given it to them because Damon had made her shine.
She wanted to shine on her own. For once, she wanted to be known for something she had done on her own, for the music that she had created by herself. She was done letting other people help her, she was a big girl; not a petulant little child anymore. She could do things on her own. And Elena's only wish was for people to see that.
"And the winner, for Best Country Solo Performance of the year, goes to… Elena Gilbert for Momma's Broken Heart."
She sat there, in complete shock, unable to move. Elena felt Caroline's arms tight around her, followed by Rebekah's and Jenna's. She felt Stefan and Klaus' kisses on her cheeks, and Alaric's fatherly embrace. But the only touch that went through was when Damon pressed his lips against her forehead, and told her the words that she had always wanted to hear.
"You did this one all on your own, sweetheart."
Elena wiped away her tears before walking down to the stage, her head held high. She wasn't a joke, not anymore; she had finally secured her place in the music industry. She no longer had to worry about being knocked off the top by the next pretty young star that came along. After everything, her music had spoken for itself. And for the first time in Elena's life, she felt invincible.
. . .
Looking at her reflection in the mirror, Elena smiled. She looked happy. For the first time in a long time, she was unconditionally happy. She read the congratulation notes attached to the bouquets of flowers on her dressing room table, slowly running her fingers over the words.
Elena's life long ambition was to make sure that she would never have to worry about her life. That she would never long for anything. Ever since she was a child she had promised herself that she would live comfortably, that she would never go hungry and she would never be on the streets. When she had put Jeremy into rehab, that urge had only grown stronger.
It was a need now, a need that she had to fulfil. She had built a one-woman empire from the ground; she had played her cards wisely and had chosen the right endorsements so that she would never be without. But everyone had warned her that she could go fall down in this industry as quick as she had came up. But now, nothing could bring her down. Her name was still intact after everything, and so was her brothers.
"Thinking never gets you anywhere, my love." Damon said mockingly, leaning against her door.
"A few hours ago, all you were wishing for, was for me to think. You confuse a girl." Elena answered bitterly, turning in her chair to face him.
"Oh, I confuse you? I've made myself pretty clear; it's you who hasn't given me any straight answers." He spat out, inching closer to her.
His words cut her more than she would show, so she fell back into the only habit she had learned from him. Deflecting.
"I'd like for you to now, Damon. I'm tired and I don't need the drama that you bring right now." Elena sighed heavily, getting up from her chair and turning her back to him.
She should have known that he wouldn't let it go that easily.
"Oh come on, 'Lay. You don't think I'm tired too? You know all you seem to do, is send me mix signals. When I came in here earlier, you blew me off, and then you were clinging onto me like your life depended on it after that song. You can't chose when you want me, it's either you do or you don't!" Damon shouted at her, grabbing her arm and pushing her back to the wall.
"Well what if I do want you?" Elena replied angrily, wriggling her body to try and get away from him.
"Show it." Damon demanded, leaning his forehead down to hers.
"You're insufferable." She sighed and pulled at his neck until his lips met hers.
It was too long since they had kissed like this; she had missed his body almost as much as she had missed him. She couldn't fight it anymore, she loved him. What was the point in hiding it?
Elena tangled her hands in his dark hair as his lips made their way down her neck, how was it possible for someone to make her forget and remember everything at the same time? Her heart was beating so loudly, she was sure he could hear it, and the whole world seemed to stop.
"I want to be with you Damon. No more secrets, no more nothin'. I just want us to be together." She moaned as he placed his fingers underneath her chin.
"Then let's get out of here." He smiled at her, linking their hands and running out of her dressing room like two children.
The two of them managed to sneak away without being noticed and he quickly hailed one of the cabs that were lined up against the street. He gave the address to his house to the driver and pulled Elena onto his lap. She moaned softly as his hands ran over her body, placing kisses on every piece of skin he could find.
Neither of them cared if the driver was looking, they had spent too long apart. Elena was so far gone she didn't even realise that the car had pulled up outside his house and Damon had thrown a wad of bills into the front seat. He carried Elena inside the house, whispering sweet nothings into her ear.
"You have no idea, how long I've waited to hear you say that you wanted to be with me." Damon groaned as she pulled the zipper on her dress, letting it fall to a heap on the floor.
"You don't know how long I've been keepin' it in." She whispered back, slipping off his jacket and unbuttoning his shirt.
"I promise, that I am never goin' to let you go again."
Elena laughed softly as he pushed her down onto the bed, playing with her curls as he did so. Those words, those sweet, reassuring words meant the world to her. He was never going to leave her, she knew that he couldn't. And now, after everything, she couldn't either.
"Good. 'Cause there's no where else I want to be."
A/N: Hi y'all! I want to apologise for my lack of an update, I had some family drama that made it very hard to find time to write. I'm still not completely happy with this chapter, but I hope you guys like it.
The song used was No One Will Ever Love You performed by Connie Britten and Charles Esten as Rayna James and Deacon Claybourne on the TV show Nashville. Beautiful song, please go check it out.
THEY FINALLY HAPPENED! I hope with all my heart that you guys liked this chapter. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH, YOU ARE ALL LIKE LITTLE ANGELS SENT FROM HEAVEN! You're reviews really keep me going. Please review, and give me a piece of my mind! All my love xxx.