Whenever Katara tried to stand, the room would turn sideways on her and everything in her field of vision would start to swim. Dr. Yang had dismissed Iroh's life-change induced fever theory and simply stated that Katara had been running herself ragged over the past few weeks and needed to rest. Katara agreed on some level, healing always took a lot out of her, and the bloodbending was even more taxing especially when she did it without the aid of a full moon. Staying in bed and playing the reverse role of patient proved very difficult for Katara, though.

"Ugh. Your room is so boring. Can't you like, decorate it or something?" Katara fussed on the fifth morning of her recovery.

"I like to keep things simple." Zuko yawned. He hadn't slept well the night before between Katara's nightmares and his own.

"Yeah, but you don't even have any stuff anywhere. Like personal stuff."

"Like what exactly?"

"Oh, I don't know. Family pictures. A special trinket. A hair brush."

Zuko's glare indicated he was unsure how to answer. Finally he settled on, "Do I look like I use a hairbrush?" as he gestured to his scraggly crop of hair.

"Well somehow you get it in a topknot… ohhhhh, servants, right. Forgot about those. What about family pictures?"

"In case you've forgotten, there's not much about my family that I'd want to preserve in a picture. Besides, we rarely posed for them, anyway."

"But you had a picture of your uncle…"

"Oh. I guess I left that at Ember Island."

"So you don't have any personal effects? Things that are special to you?"

"Will you just drop it, Katara? Sorry I don't have decorations for my room or silly little trinkets. If you don't like it, you can just go back to your own room."

"OK, OK, I get it. It's just, I have my necklace to remind me of my mom, and I thought maybe you had stuff like that, too. So then I thought you'd tell me the story about it, and it would just be something to pass the time. I didn't know it was such a big deal to you."

"It's not a big deal to ME. You're the one making a big deal out of it."

"Well, I mean, don't you want to make this room feel more like home? It's just so drab and dreary. Your mother's room is just so lovely, it seems like—"

Zuko cut her off with a frustrated noise. He crossed the room, threw open a cupboard, and grabbed a knapsack. He thrust it at Katara. "There. That's it. My stuff."

"You keep it packed up?" Oh. I get it now. Katara's realization was confirmed by the hurt expression on Zuko's face. He's never felt settled anywhere. He's never felt at home. Not even here.

"You can look at it, if you want. If you need something to do." Zuko folded his arms against his chest and looked away.

"Zuko, I didn't mean to… I'm sorry." Katara wasn't sure what else to say, and it didn't surprise her when he started to walk toward the door. He always runs always from conversations like this. With his back still turned to her, he spoke unexpectedly.

"My ship was blown up by pirates, and I lost everything then. During my banishment, my father got rid of all my stuff I had here at the palace. Everything in that bag is from our time at the Western Air Temple and Ember Island and even then, it's only the stuff I thought was essential when we left on the day of Sozin's Comet. It's a survival pack, really, and it's something I can grab in case I need to… you know, leave again."

"Oh, Zuko. I'm sorry."

"Don't. I've learned that you can't be attached to places or things. You never know when you might lose them… or if they'll be taken away."

"Makes sense."

"For the longest time, I felt the same way about people, too."

Katara stared blankly at the door as it closed behind him.

Sometime later, Katara awoke to a knock at the door. On instinct, she tried to stand but then thought better of it and let out a groggy, "Come in."

"Lunch time!" a familiar chipper voice sang.

"Oh, Aang! You're still here! What a nice surprise!"

Aang frowned at the dish as he handed it over. "Zuko commissioned someone in the kitchen to make stewed seaprunes for you. Honestly, I don't know how you can eat that stuff."

"He probably did it just because he knew you'd be delivering it," Katara smirked. It's really very sweet of him, though. I feel terrible about our conversation this morning.

"Hey, you're frowning. What's the matter?" Aang sat on the edge of the bed after eyeing a knapsack with some confusion and then deciding to move it to a nearby chair.

"Nothing. I'm just restless. So, tell me what's going on out there." Katara tried her lunch. The flavor was a bit off, but it tasted pretty good considering it had been prepared in a Fire Nation kitchen. It made her feel a little homesick.

"Well, I've been doing some research on Ty Lee's family to see if I can find more airbenders. I met her cousin Kai in Two Rivers, and he suspects that there may be more in their family. Their grandfather, though, he's one tough fruit tart. Really hard to get information from him," Aang explained.

"Yeah, Zuko said the same. I guess even though the war is over, it's still hard for him to trust people especially with a century-old secret," Katara considered.

"Yeah, but I'm the Avatar… and an airbender!"

"You're right. He'll come around. So, what is Ty Lee up to?"

"She stayed in Two Rivers with her cousin. I should head back there soon to train them both in airbending. But I've really enjoyed my time here. Toph has been teaching me metalbending!"

"Aang, that's great!"

"Here, I'll show you!" He started making hand movements toward Katara's spoon. Before she could protest, a seaprune flung up and hit her face while her spoon contorted into a very dysfunctional shape.

"Well, you seem to have the basic idea," she muttered while wiping her face. Aang gave her a rueful smile. "I'll get you a new spoon. I haven't learned how to bend it back, yet."

A few minutes later Aang came back with Toph at his heels. Katara somehow knew that boredom was no longer going to be a problem.

"Way to go, Twinkletoes," Toph scolded while flicking her wrist and instantly setting the disfigured spoon back into its original shape. "Oh, hey there, Sugar Queen. Have you recovered from your self-identity crisis?"

"Excuse me?" Katara spewed out the next spoonful she'd managed to take. It didn't look like lunch would be happening at this rate.

"Uncle said you were having some sort of character crisis and your body just needed to catch up. I don't know. I don't really believe in that mumbo jumbo. You probably just have Fire Nation fever. The weather is changing, you know."

"You mean it's gone from unbearably hot to just mildly hot?" Katara was beginning to wonder if there were such a thing as seasons here.

"Speaking of seasons changing, we need to talk about the Winter Solstice Festival," Aang piped in.

"You mean Sparky's birthday," Toph corrected.

"Well, right. Iroh wants to combine them, I think. One big celebration to bring together the four nations with the Fire Lord as host and guest of honor." Aang was practically beaming. Katara remembered how much he liked parties. Zuko hates them, though.

"Guys, I know we probably don't have much say when it comes to Iroh's ideas, but Zuko really doesn't want a big fuss over his birthday. I mean, maybe we can do this Winter Solstice Festival thing but then have a much smaller party for him and his closest friends and family?" she suggested.

"Sure, that would be ideal, but it sounds like this place is going to be packed with people from all over the world. Like Ba Sing Se all over again," Aang said.

Katara and Toph let out a collective UGH.

"Hey, I thought it was fun," Aang countered but after a moment of reflection, "Well, at least the parties were fun."

"So, not here, then. I was thinking Ember Island. Just the six of us, like before, plus Uncle and Ursa, too," Katara said.

"Sounds great, but how do we get there? Just stow away on a secret ship in the middle of the Solstice celebration?" Toph's lips formed into a wide grin. "It's sneaky. I like it."

"I don't know, guys. Zuko sneaking off during his own birthday party? Especially when it's supposed to represent unity of the nations? It won't look good…" Aang said warily.

A few moments passed in thoughtful silence. Katara pushed the seaprunes around the plate with her spoon. They never tasted as good when they were cold. Where is my firebender when I need him?

"What if…" she started slowly, "…we made our escape part of the party?"

"Sweetness, I think Sparky has been slippin' the poppies in your tea—" Toph jested.

"No, wait. Hear me out. What if we did a Winter Solstice parade? You know, like the one we saw on Avatar Day?" Katara saw Aang wince, so she quickly clarified. "But not with giant Avatar statues that we set on fire." Aang let out a sigh of relief, so she continued, "There could be floats and food stalls for each nation. We could do it in the Royal Plaza that leads down to the harbor."

"And when we get to the harbor, we get on a boat! Brilliant!" Toph declared. "Well, except for the boat part. I hate water travel."

"I still think it would look suspicious." Aang chewed on his bottom lip with uncertainty.

"So, we distract everybody. We shoot off fireworks over the bay while we make our getaway, and then after that, alcohol will be served in the plaza. Nobody will care once we bust out the booze!" Katara felt pretty proud of herself and her new party plan.

"Katara, I think you've been staying in the Fire Nation for too long. You've started to adopt their wily ways." Aang suppressed a laugh.

"I like this plan. OK, I will talk to Uncle since he'll have all the hook-ups to make the necessary arrangements. Then, we can work together on getting out invitations seeing as how I can't write them myself." Toph leaned back and folded her arms across her chest.

"Of course, we'll help, Toph. But there's something else I'd like to do, and it could be tricky. I'd really like to go out to the beach house and fix it up beforehand. Maybe the three of us could take Appa? Come up with some excuse for a quick trip? We kinda left things a mess there, and I definitely want to get rid of any, uh… bad vibes, if you know what I mean." Katara shuddered as she remembered the things she had found in Ozai's old room last summer.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Aang agreed. "If we're going to do that, we should do it soon. Before I go back to Two Rivers. So, as soon as you're well enough, Katara, we'll come up with a very convincing diplomatic reason to take a field trip."

They all nodded in agreement. Katara felt a flutter of excitement in her stomach. This was really happening! Oh, I hope he likes it. I really just want him to have a chance to relax and not think about firelording for a day. Maybe we can sneak away to a hot spring and mmmmmmmm….

Toph's voice cut through Katara's daydream. "I just have one question. What the hell is Avatar Day?"

Katara felt a shift in the weight on the bed and realized Zuko had just slipped under the covers beside her. She felt disoriented from sleeping so much during the day, but since the moon was shining brightly through the window, she knew it was nighttime, and she was definitely awake. Zuko's back was to her, though. He's still mad. She reached out and stroked his back, feeling his muscles tense under her touch.

"Zuko?" He only grunted in response. She continued, "I just wanted to say, thank you."

"What?" He shifted to where he was laying on his back and could cast a sidelong glance at her. His right profile faced her, his chiseled features framed in the moonlight. He's so handsome. She resisted the urge to stroke his face, though, unsure of how he was feeling.

"Thank you for talking to me. You explained earlier… instead of leaving, or well, just before you left. And I understood. I know it's hard for you, the talking… or all of it, really, so thanks… for telling me."

Zuko let out the breath he appeared to be holding. "You're welcome?"

Katara waited a while before speaking again. "When I came here, I didn't have much either. But after a year of traveling, I finally had my own room, so I just kinda spread my stuff out and claimed it, ya know? It just felt so good to have a space to call my own. I mean, it's not mine, I know, but it sure beats sleeping on the ground and having to pack it all up the next day."

"Heh."

"So, thank you."

"You said that already." Zuko's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Thank you for giving me a place to stay."

"Oh. Yeah, ok." Zuko swallowed. "It's hard for me to think of it as mine to give. But I guess it is, huh?"

"Not used to being Fire Lord, yet?"

"Sometimes it feels surreal, yes."

"Well, I don't really need my own room. I rather like staying here." Katara decided it was safe to close the gap between them now.

"Everyone's talking about it, you being in my room." Zuko remained motionless despite Katara's gestures toward him. "I'm not sure if we were much of a secret before, but it's definitely out now."

"Is that a problem?" Katara started playing with the tuft of hair just above Zuko's right ear in an effort to get some response from him.

"If it is, it's not our problem." A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"So, it's just palace gossip, then? No one's said anything to you?" Katara suddenly felt a pang of worry. She knew Zuko's job was hard enough. She didn't want to be the cause of any added pressure.

"Well, I had someone on my war council approach me with some unsolicited advice, but—"

"Zuko…" she interrupted, suddenly remembering. "What happened with the war council? Why don't you go to those meetings anymore?" She felt him tense up again. Maybe he's done talking for today. I shouldn't push him. Why do I always push him?

"I… I don't know. I just get so worked up in those meetings. I almost always lose my temper. I think it's… the room… or something, I just feel like the walls are closing in on me. I know it sounds stupid, but—"

"So, just change the room, then."

"Huh?"

"Change the room where the war council meets."

"I c-c-can't. It's the WAR COUNCIL ROOM," he said the words in a booming voice. "It's where those meetings are traditionally held."

"Zuko, you said yourself that you shouldn't get attached to places… and you've already changed Fire Nation tradition where you see fit. Plus, it's your room and your palace. Do what you want."

"Hm. Sounds so simple when you put it that way. I guess I just didn't want to challenge tradition on something that didn't really matter."

"But it does matter, Zuko, if it will help you focus better at those meetings."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Besides, you need to get ready to challenge tradition a bit more if you're going to let everybody know it's official that you have a waterbender for a girlfriend." Katara figured this statement warranted a tickle. Zuko squirmed away from her touch.

"Oh, it's not me they need to deal with on that account. You'll speak for yourself, I'm sure." He made a motion to tickle her back, but thought better of it. "Hey, aren't you supposed to be resting?"

"Oh stop it, Dr. Fire Lord. I've been resting all day. Besides, the moon's up."

"You're feeling better, then?"

"Mmm, not quite. Maybe you could help… ohhhh!"

Zuko had gotten the hint and was already on it.

Just as the moon had blanketed the room in silvery light during the night, the sun's glow shimmered in patterned squares through the window panels announcing morning's arrival. Zuko was awake, of course, with a dozing waterbender on his chest, but he had no intentions of rushing into the day's agenda. If he were feeling responsible, he would act on Katara's suggestion of moving the war council meeting that day which would mean he would need to leave soon. But he could always do that tomorrow. He felt Katara sigh as her head shifted under his chin. I could stay here like this forever. How do I make this work? Her. Here. Forever. Suddenly the power of the Fire Lord didn't seem like enough.

A knock on the door broke his train of thought. There are always interruptions. He tried not to stir Katara but she woke anyway. She seemed happy at the sight of breakfast, though. "Mmmm, mango, my favorite." She cupped the fruit in her hands and gave him a giddy smile. Zuko would give anything to freeze this moment—the sunlight, the fruit, the beautiful girl, her expression. "How did you like the seaprunes?" he asked, daring to interrupt the picture-perfect scene before him.

Just like that, the moment was gone. Very gone.

She scowled and then scolded. "The flavor wasn't right. And they got cold before I could eat them. Where were you? I needed you to heat them up for me."

Zuko looked at her incredulously. She may be perfect, but she is also impossible! "You really are a terrible patient, you know that?"

"Oh, and you're one to talk!" she bit back.

"What are you talking about?"

"Remember when you were sick at the Western Air Temple? Something about the coolers from the prison. Well, you were a very difficult patient, always complaining and never doing what I told you."

"Is that when you sang me a lullaby?" Zuko raised his good eyebrow.

"I never did that! I didn't even like you then, why would I sing to you? I just didn't want you to die, that's all."

"Rrrrrrrrright. Well, you were definitely worse when you got bitten by a scorpidillo, and you had that insufferable bell!"

"You gave me that bell, so it's your own fault!"

"Well, and here I am again taking care of you, so I've one-upped you! Next time I'm sick, I require lullabies and my favorite komodo chicken and moonpeaches!" Zuko lifted a victorious fist in the air.

"Not true! I had to take care of you when…" Katara swallowed her words. That memory was not fodder for a fight. Her eyes shot to the lightening scar on Zuko's chest, but she quickly looked away hoping that Zuko hadn't noticed. She would never revisit that terrible day as some source of empowerment over him. It had been too awful, unspeakable even. The symbolism there was sacrifice, simply put, and neither of them were indebted to each other because of it.

"Komodo chicken and moonpeaches it is," she resigned.

"And lullabies."

"Pansy."

"What? I like the sound of your voice." He smiled, his shy and hopeful smile that made her melt.

"I'd like to try walking around today. Get out of this room if I can." She changed the subject. Even though he sounded sincere—and looks adorable—she'd never felt very confident about her singing voice.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Zuko knew the answer from the glare he received. "OK, OK, I'll help you."

Katara was relieved to find she had gained some strength, and her head felt clear and focused. She still leaned on Zuko while she stood just because it felt nice.

"Where to, my lady?"

"Well, I suppose I should get dressed? And then, how about the turtleduck pond?"

"You and my mother and the turtleduck pond." Katara expected to see a trace of teasing in her boyfriend's expression, his usual smirk. Instead he looked genuinely happy, a warm countenance of pure contentment had settled in his features. She found she rather liked this side of Zuko, and she hoped she would see it more often.

Katara idly whipped a stream of water from the pond into spirals and circles. The weather had noticeably changed as evidenced by the autumn breeze tickling her nose. This kind of weather she could get used to, she decided, as she squinted up into the midday sun. A sudden pang of guilt struck her as she thought of home in the South Pole, and Iroh's words echoed in her mind, "Your idea of family is changing…" As if making tribute to her homeland, Katara turned the airborne water into ice crystals and watched as they floated through the breeze like dancing snow.

"That's beautiful, Katara," a pleasant voice spoke. "Do you mind if I join you?"

"Not at all." Katara had wondered if she would happen to see Lady Ursa here.

The women sat in companionable silence for a while watching soothing ripples on the water that surfaced in the turtleducks' wakes. Then both at once they asked each other, "How are you feeling?" Ursa laughed softly. Katara blushed and waited for her elder to speak.

"I'm fine, my dear. Since I've been back here, it seems like everything is happening so quickly yet in slow motion at the same time. But I do have my health, thanks to you, and I'm mostly of sound mind, too. I have much to be grateful for. And you?"

"I'm grateful, too," Katara said.

Ursa laughed again. "Well, I'm glad to hear you keep a good perspective on things. But I meant, how are you feeling? It's good to see you up and about for a change."

"Oh. Right. Better. I'm a terrible patient, it turns out," Katara confessed.

"I always was, too. I used to feel like it was always my job to take care of everyone else. Until I realized that unless I took care of myself, then I wouldn't be able to do that job very well, now would I?" Ursa dipped a finger in the pond and swirled the water around with it.

"Makes sense, I guess." Katara lifted another stream of water out of the pond and mimicked the swirling motions Ursa was making. "How did you do it? Take care of yourself, I mean?"

"Well, there are the obvious answers of getting enough rest and eating well. It's important to let others take care of you from time to time… if you have people in your life who can do that." Katara noticed a sadness in Ursa's voice. She opened her mouth to say something in response, but Ursa continued. "Meditation also works wonders, I've found. I've always been intrigued by the Air Nomad teachings, and I think some of their methods could be instrumental in helping people release things that bind them like anger and pain."

"Zuko used to meditate with candles, to keep the flame steady and focus, I think."

"Yes, I taught him that. To help him stay centered. And to help with his temper."

Several questions ran through Katara's head. What was Zuko like as a child? Was Ursa a firebender? If so, could she still bend? And the one she really wanted to ask was, What is going on with Dr. Jung? But instead she said, "Have you met Aang? He could probably tell you more about the Air Nomad practices. He even met with a guru once."

"I have met the Avatar! Delightful child, and yes, I will ask him. Once upon a time, I thought I might make a trek to the Eastern Air Temple to meet a guru. Maybe I still can someday."

The words from Dr. Jung's journal came back to Katara's memory in full force, and she knew she couldn't avoid the topic any longer. "Lady Ursa, about Dr. Jung—"

"Katara, Dr. Jung and I… we have a past together. It's complicated. Sometimes I don't know how I feel about him being here, but he really is the most qualified to help Azula, so for now I have chosen to put my personal feelings aside."

"I know that you had a relationship, of sorts, but I don't know if you know the whole story about Dr. Jung and the Joo Dees…"

"I didn't remember that part until just recently." Ursa let out a long sigh.

"So you knew?"

"I had my suspicions. I mean, it was all based on our research. But the Dai Li are powerful and corrupt. There are some things I can't blame Dr. Jung for entirely."

"But what he did to you…" Katara gasped.

"Should be unforgivable, I know. But he has agreed to see the work with Azula to the end. And he thinks he might be able to cure the Joo Dees. The science works, Katara. In the same way that it makes us forget, it can help us remember. I'm living proof of that."

In her shock, Katara hadn't realized that she'd managed to accidentally freeze the turtleduck pond. Quickly, she remedied that and freed the confused turtleducks from their frozen stations. She couldn't comprehend Ursa's decision to allow Dr. Jung to stay when he had been untrustworthy, but maybe this was another expression of self-sacrifice. She'd done it before, taken care of those she loved by any means necessary, perhaps she didn't know any other way.

"Just be careful… please," Katara said with finality. "I don't want you to take any unnecessary chances or put yourself at risk again. Remember that your family needs you. Like you said, sometimes you have to take care of yourself first in order to better care for others."

Author's Notes: A couple of quick notes from the show to serve as a refresher (I had to rewatch to help set the scene myself): Avatar Day is a Season 2 episode as you may recall, and it left a bad impression of parades in Aang's mind. It was more like anti-Avatar day where the townspeople were setting fire to giant statue/floats of Avatars. Also, the Fire Nation's Royal Plaza is the same place where Hakoda and Sokka's troops landed on the Day of Black Sun. It leads from the harbor to the base of the volcano that protects the Capital City. It is also where Ozai announced his Phoenix King status and serves as a common place for speeches and rallies.

As far as attributions to Emletish in this chapter, Zuko's cooler fever occurred in Stalking Zuko after the group gets back from Boiling Rock. Katara's scorpidillo bite happens on Ember Island, and events are detailed in Not Stalking Zuko.

I haven't mentioned Dr. Jung in a while, so just as a recap, he used some of their brain therapy research to assist the Dai Li with the Joo Dee program. Then, in an effort to release Ursa from her pain and suffering (and deter her from returning to the Fire Nation upon hearing about Zuko's Agni Kai), he erases her memories. When Ursa is talking to Toph and Zuko a few chapters back, she remembers what happened when she went to seek Dr. Jung's help after leaving the Bei Fong's. By the time she's having this conversation with Katara by the turtleduck pond, she's already confronted Jung about what happened, and some details about that will come in later chapters.