"Kim Possible" owned by the Walt Disney Company, see top of part 1 for full disclosures.

AN: takes place in season 4.

Kim Possible: A Blonde Moment

"In Flight Refueling"

By: Eoraptor

"Seriously Shego, I don't know what I'm doing here." Ron hedged, flipping the control he had been instructed to.

Listening to the engines whirl up, he looked over at the ragged woman and winced. She looked more like a corpse from 'Left for Gone' than a living person, but her eyes said she could and would still do bodily harm to him if he didn't shape up. Shivering at the angry bloodshot brown eyes, he waited for the next instruction.

"Touch the little icon of a globe in the upper left corner of the main screen." She bemoaned, swallowing back yet another wave of bile. Her yak bag was half full, which was amazing considering she thought she had just gotten up the hotdogs from her ninth birthday party. "I told you already, all you have to do is keep your hand on the control so the ship knows there's a living person in charge, it will do the rest barring any… unforeseen issues."

Ron wasn't sure if the pause was a portent, or just another wave of pain, but either way, he didn't like it. "So why can't you hold the contr- oh… yeah…"

The blond boy mumbled when he saw that Shego had once already missed her emesis bag, even though she was holding it with both hands right under her chin. "Right... can't hold plastic bag up, can't hold interactive joystick. Now what?"

"Hurkt!" was the only response he got, and he shivered. He was already past the point of wanting to vomit in sympathy, because he had also already lost what little he had in him.

"Sorry. Ugh! Now, click on North America, then Colorado, then Middleton, keep clicking down till you can't any mo- BLECH"

The blond boy ignored the truncation of instructions and did as he was told. He got all the way down to the corner of fifth and vine in Middleton, which was only a few blocks from the Possible's house before it refused to zoom any further. "I click the green accept button?"

"D- doy." She shivered slightly.

"Ro-… She-…" back in the crew area of the Global Justice jet, a very pale redhead-turned-blonde stirred and groaned.

The two bench seats that lined the sides of the compartment had been pressed into service as gurneys. Fortunately, they were designed for this. Under normal conditions, Wade loved such elegant design, but right now he had far more pressing concerns in mind. Strapped tightly to one bench was Kim Possible, who seemed on the verge of waking. Opposite her, strapped to the other, was Akematsu Yori, who showed no signs of regaining consciousness.

Wade, who had been sitting in the jump seat that faced Yori's feet, quickly leapt to Kim's side and touched her shoulder. "Kim, you awake? How are you feeling?"

Dulled green eyes assessed the intelligence of that question, and for a moment Wade felt like he was looking at Shego, not Kim. "Like someone fed me through a meat grinder, backwards. Oh, and the entire cheer squad is balanced on top of my brain."

Wade grimaced and nodded. He could only imagine what it felt like to have every muscle in his body fire at once as had happened to Kim. He shook the cheerleader's shoulder when her eyes closed again, and she growled at him.

"Lights ferociously messing with my eyes, Wade. I am not opening them again unless I have to. Have-," Kim swallowed softly and licked her lips, trying to ignore the sudden twitch that ran along one of her arms like an alien thing moving beneath her skin, "Have you talked to my mom?"

It was the heavy boy's turn to swallow and he did so. A heavy moment passed, and Kim did turn to glare at him briefly. It prompted him to speak up finally. "Drakken has your parents; plus Larry, Bonnie, and Monique."

"Crud." The cheerleader grit her teeth and closed her eyes.

"Well, it could be worse?" the dark skinned boy sheepishly offered the pale cheerleader.

"How could it be worse, Wade?" Kim growled, and would have rubbed her face were she not strapped down.

"We don't think they have the tweebs."

"The tweebs are loose? Oh yeah, that's so much freaking better than their being under guard." Gritting her teeth against a sudden and massive sensation of spinning, Kim screwed her face up in a pained expression. After a long moment, swallowing back a wave of nausea, she resumed. "And we who? Where are Ron and Shego?"

"In the cockpit, Shego's sick too, so Ron is flying the plane." Wade winced at the expression he received at that news.

It's not something you could do? You remote fly the Kimmunicator all the god damned time!"

"Calm down, Kim. The more agitated you get, the worse your brain readings get." Wade tried to be as soothing as he could, which wasn't very much given his nervousness.

Taking a deep breath, Kim concentrated on trying to get her heart to slow down. Something that wasn't helped by the sensation of it occasionally fluttering within her chest. Finally, she nodded. "Okay… now, explain why you're not flying the plane instead of Ron of Shego is so sick."

"I… uh… I couldn't reach the peddles." The rotund boy sheepishly admitted. He quickly added when he saw Kim's expression fall, "But Shego says a trained money can fly these jets!"

Kim rolled her eyes and clutched the edge of the bench she was strapped to, "Great… I don't even play video games, and I know Ron blows at flight simulators."

-KP-KP-KP-KP-KP-

"Tell us what you did to our sister!"

"Or else we're going to tell you what we can do with the JPX in the garage and your shoes!"

Agent Stanislawcz Swallowed. These twins were about half his size, and probably 15 years old at the most, but they were scaring the crap out of him, tied as he was to a chair in their bedroom-turned-lair.

"I didn't do anything to Miss Possible," he responded after a moment, I'm not even working for Doctor Drakken, I'm under cover."

"Yeah right,"

"Like we believe that,"

"Prove it."

"Yeah, prove it!"

The double talk, and turning his head back and forth between the two of them was giving him a headache, and it too a moment for him to think. "My mini-com!"

"What mini-com?"

"We searched you while you were unconscious."

"Crap on a cracker." The undercover man groaned and hung his head, "I must have dropped it when you clobbered me."

"A likely story."

"Yeah, sure you did…"

An irritated look on his face, Stanislawcz growled at each of them. "I must have! Look, obviously Drakken doesn't know you two are here… If you don't get it back, one of the real henchmen is bound to find it, and then our collective gooses are cooked!"

The twins Possible chewed their lips and looked at each other.

"Well, he was talking to someone,"

"And there wasn't anyone else in the room,"

"But maybe he's just as crazy as Drakken,"

"Wouldn't be the first time…'

"Yeah, like that Frugal Lucre guy,"

"From the Smarty Mart."

"Oh for crying out loud!" Stanislawcz groaned and rolled his eyes, "I was talking to central dispatch at Global Justice. They've been hit by Drakken's products, and told me they couldn't send help. Look, unless we get my mini-com back before someone finds it, we're not only up crud creek, but we won't have a paddle."

The undercover agent glared back and forth between them, narrowing his eyes. "And it gets worse… I don't think that Drakken intends to cure the product's effects. So unless your sister and her friends can do something with his notes… Look. Get the mini-com and you can use it to talk to Dr Director yourselves. Doesn't matter if I'm telling the truth or not then, right?"

The brunette twins looked at each other uncertainly again.

"There's a lot of hunches crawling around the house."

"It could be dangerous…"

"Hoosha?"

"Hicka bicka boo!"

Stanislawcz rolled his head back in relief when they darted out of the room with sadistic grins on their faces. Once he was alone, he pulled out of his sleeve the laser scalpel he had taken off of Anne Possible and got to work on his bindings.

-KP-KP-KP-KP-KP-

"Honestly, you believe Shego is like…. That?" Drakken made a meaningless gesture with his small hands as he knelt in front of Bonnie Rockwaller.

"Well, she probably isn't taking all of those vacations for her health…" Monique interjected and rolled her eyes.

"Well maybe her mental health… There is this theory that some personality disorders have a infectious component to them." Larry supplied helpfully.

Drakken ran his hands through his hair, almost unbinding his pony tail in the process. "But… Shego… I mean… We had dinners together… She wore these dresses…"

"God you're such a complete goober." Bonnie groaned and rolled her eyes. "I'm not even gay and I know that lesbians like to dress up from time to time."

Monique desperately wanted to spare a glance to the Possible's, but if there was one thing she'd learned in the past year from watching Kim and Ron, it was how important distractions were. It made it that much harder to keep up this salacious little tale that Bonnie and Larry were weaving around Kim and this Shego to know that Kim's parents had to sit through it.

But the longer they kept this blue weirdo distracted and not executing his plan, the longer that Ron and that chick in the green unitard had to get Kim back here to save the day. Taking a breath, she jumped into the discussion again, thinking about how much Kim was going to hate her for spinning this dirty little story in front of all these hench guys.

"Really… every woman likes to feel pretty. And if you were taking her out for free meals? Well I've gone out on dates to get fed before ya know…" She tried not to roll her eyes at her own statement and instead focused on selling her smirk.

"Free food? Please, like this nerd could afford the kids menu at Cow & Chow." Bonnie rolled off smoothly, looking down her chemically bleached nose at Drakken. "Wasn't he the one who put in the super cheap kids menu at Bueno Nacho last year?"

Monique clucked her tongue and shot a look at Larry. She didn't like the way that the mad scientist reacted to that remark, grinding his teeth.

Larry, to his credit, got the signal and shook his head, "Now let's not be too hasty here, Bonbon… It got millions of those cybertronic Diablo bots distributed around the world quickly."

Bonnie simply rolled her eyes and sniffed. "As if. That was more like the biggest stroke of dumb luck. Obviously no one with any amount of intelligence had one, not a single one appeared at the high school after all, or on the military base or at the rocket center. I think this blue dor- OW!"

Bonnie shot an angry look at Monique, who had just kicked her hard in the shin. "What the hell was that for Monique?"

"Ixnay on the rashtay alktay." She gritted out at the white-faced brunette and inclined her head at Drakken, who was now pacing up and down the length of the kitchen, clenching his fists.

Bonnie appeared about to unleash her acid tongue on Monique when it seemed to sink in to her not to push the madman too far. She coughed and squirmed her wounded leg a bit, "Then again, America's not the only place in the world that matters, right?"

"Quite right!" Drakken spun, pointing a finger to the sky, "There's also Canada!"

The three teens simply dropped their heads and rolled their eyes in unison at the exclamation.

-KP-KP-KP-KP-KP-

AN: Well, as you can see, dear reader, we are into the home stretch now. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of Kim Possible: A Blonde Moment!