Okay, you wonderful, smut demanding readers.. this one is fo you. Sort of. They don't outright have sex in this chapter but it is leading up to it. Mostly half emotions and half teasing that leads to emotional, smutty hot sex. I thank all of you for your responses, for favoriting and following this story. I also am forever thankful that you all have patience since it is damn hard to type on a tablet that doesn't hold a charge for more than ten minutes.

Chapter 21 : On the verge

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Fear. It was an emotion that Janelle tried her best not to feel.. or at the very least tried to not show the signs that she was, in fact, afraid. However Janelle found that she had much more to lose nowadays more than that she may have ever had before. Problems arose that were much more complexity than what could be put into a naïve child's nightmare, and yet the consequences that came with feeling such an emotion on a day to day basis held dangers that Janelle found no room for in the carefully constructed, complexed puzzle that made up her life.

Before she stepped foot back in Charming, Janelle could honestly tell anyone with a straight face that she hadn't felt such an emotion such a fear since her late teens.. after she had yelled at all of them to mind their own damn business. Since one specific moment that occurred in her childhood, it was no longer about trying to appear strong in the eyes of others or how her mother tried time and time again to make her that way. All that truly mattered since then was trying to stay afloat through all the fucked up shit that life had dared to throw her way. The shit that threatened to break her, to bend her backwards as far as she could go until she was achingly tired and bent in half.

For a while, Janelle had no real reason to feel fear. Hell, both charters residing in Charming and Tacoma were firmly in her corner, ready and deadly to deal with whatever - better yet, whoever - posed a threat and was the reason for her to feel that fear. There was not even a shadow of doubt in her mind that amongst the reapers that were racing each other to be the first one to kill the threat - that Jax and Happy would already be there with a look of the devil in their eyes, a gun of any caliber in one hand and a knife in the other.

What happens though, which was the cause of many unhealthy spikes in both her emotions and blood pressure growing up, when one or more members of the people she called 'family'.. were the ones that she was fearful for?

The notion of trying not to be afraid of something had the one huge flaw that she was simply human. As such, Janelle couldn't help but reluctantly acknowledge that her emotions may tend to get the better or her at times, and it didn't help matters that she felt the situation justified her reaction.. or so she kept telling herself.. That famous Teller Irish Temper didn't help matters, nor her mother's angry Russian side as it leaked through.. add in her being pregnant and her intensified hormones and you have one hell of a mixture.

Nevertheless though Janelle knew that she would try her damnest to protect the things and people that she held close to her heart, achieving that by any means she deemed necessary.

Grant it.. Janelle could admit, even if it was only to herself, that it took everything in her to force her heart not to break into a million pieces while she fell into a fetal position and stay there for the rest of her life.. when Little Tommy died. Even more so when her father wasn't rushing home to comfort the strong woman that was her mother. It was hard for her since she was a daddy's girl through and through, up until the changing point when it was pretty damn clear that Tommy's death meant absolutely nothing to him.

With her own child growing inside of her, Janelle couldn't even begin to imagine the thought of losing her baby girl .. or the abso-fucking-lute chaos that she would raise if such a thing were to happen. What kind of parent-

Janelle shook her head swiftly, remembering with a heavy heart the night her father had finally come home, an ungodly hour in the morning and drunk off his ass. How the feeling of fire ran through her veins and her heart, how her blood pressure only rose with every word he slurred off of his numb tongue from where she sat in the absolute darkness at the top of the stairs. Listening as the man that she looked up to, the man that picked her up when she fell.. played off Thomas' death as if it was nothing to be a great sadness over. Heard her mother, who had be trying to quiet his shouts, flip out. Completely torn between yelling and crying..

She had been sixteen and even though her mother had wanted her to be strong, her mother had never treated her like a mindless sheep that she expected to follow. Janelle knew damn well why her mother wanted her that way, understood it was so her little girl was a strong old lady and nobody's victim.. that included those that she had once thought of as 'family'. Gemma, god bless her mother, allowed both Jax and herself to form their own opinions on various subjects - even if they didn't agree with the others'.

That opinion was why she stopped looking at him with that childishly bright twinkle in her eyes. That was why Tig had to drag her away before she demolished her Father's bike with her favorite Louisville slugger bat after it was put on display out in the hallway after his death. It was, after all, the same exact bike that he road off into the sunset one too many times, leaving them all to wonder when - or even if - he would come back home to them.

She was forced to acknowledge that even though a part of her, deep down and away from prying eyes, broke when her father died.. she understood something very important that Jax clearly seemed to be struggling with. Her father, her 'daddy'.. the man that she looked up to nearly her entire life and had once bounced upon his knee.. that man had died long before his death. It didn't make such a time any less harder for her though, and Janelle in return found herself shutting out most things that the outside world had to offer.

She just couldn't seem to help it.. she hated the stares that she was given, always paired up with obnoxious whispers that grated at her self control and those that actually had the balls to come up to her suddenly put on a 'concerned' expression as they questioned if she was alright. Enemies that she couldn't stand since grade school were suddenly being nice to her, and ever single time she asked them if they had 'Made in China' stamped on the bottom of one of their feet. Donna, Tara and Opie all just gave her a comforting smile and a hug and left it at that, and in the end that was all that mattered.

The way that Janelle saw it, if the outside world couldn't plainly notice the bags underneath her tired eyes that she had tried fruitlessly to conceal with make up that morning, the stiffness that her shoulders held and the obvious irritation she had at the line of questioning - they were all either blind or stupid. Either way all she just wanted them all to fuck off. Who did any of them think they were anyway? And when exactly had it become anyone's fucking business on what was going on in her life? She had always been a private person even before she started her early teen years and that sure as hell was not about to change any time soon.

However it was here - away from all of the prying eyes that would have simply loved to witness her moment of weakness - that Janelle felt like her throat start to clog with emotions and her eyes begin to sting with tears. She had the sudden urge to throw something, preferably at Jax. For making her worry, for making her feel this godforsaken feeling that had not run through her veins in years.. For making her blood pressure skyrocket.. For.. For.. For..

Janelle's heart felt heavy within her chest, pounding hard in her ears as she struggled to breathe regularly. Her hands, as if they had a mind of their own, immediately cradled her stomach protectively. They were joined by hands that pulled her into a protective embrace from behind, fingers lacing with her own comfortingly, and she would have been thoroughly startled by the sudden closeness if she didn't know exactly who it was.

"Breathe.." Happy's natural gravelly voiced breathed warmth against the shell of her right ear, his rough, hard working hands moved from her own and trailed up her body. One gently began to rub up and down the length of her right arm while the other tangled itself into her silky hair to play with the strains. Leaning against her husband, Janelle could feel her lips curving into a soft smile at his attentiveness and his comforting administrations, while unknown to her - the right side of Happy's lips twitched upwards when he felt her body go slack against his own. They stayed like that within the almost consuming silence that now engulfed their dorm room, his strong hands never tiring before he finally decided on speaking again in a soft tone, "How do you feel now..?"

For more than a few seconds, Janelle didn't know how to answer that question. From the moment she stepped into their dorm room it seemed that even though her mind raced a mile a minute, her body was numb to everything else. The feeling was familiar with all of her past experiences, after all when hell struck where she was staying - wherever the hell she might be - it came with vengeance.. but she had always managed to get out of it unscathed by some miracle sent from up above.

Her answer rolled off her lips ever so softly and maybe it was just her hormones talking but ... "I feel like I want to shoot something.." Janelle murmured honestly to him, only to pause as she realized that even though the words were said in a soft tone, they still seemed to cut through the silence as if she had shouted them. After a contemplating moment of silence, Janelle finished the assessment of her emotions, "..And then cry about it."

She felt rather than heard Happy's reaction and his hard, muscular body shook with silent laughter from where he was pressed up against her back. Her first and foremost reaction was slight irritation and sadness because he was, in fact, laughing at her... before her emotions shifted to that of mischief.

She leaned forward ever so slowly, before gently grinding her ass directly on Happy's growing dick. Janelle smirked devilishly as her ears picked up on the nearly inaudible groan that fell from his lips before his hands under the hem of her shirt to grab onto her bare hips. One hand slowly reached up and grabbed her hair roughly to pull her body upright while the other trailed up to rest on her stomach that was heavy with his child, his rough padded fingers moving down the front of her pants to run over her mound. He smirked darkly against her right cheek as his fingers made contact with her soaked center.

Janelle forced her bottom lip to not push forward into a pout before hands detangled his from her body. She mock sighed heavily as she took a step forwards, away from him to pull off her shirt. "You laughed at me.." She murmured softly with only half mocked sadness a she spun around to look at him, and Janelle had to forced herself to surpress the amused smirk that wanted to curve upon her lips when she took notice of his put out expression.

"You laughed at me.. Your pregnant wife." Janelle put emphasis on the words 'laughed' and 'pregnant', making it quite plain how irritated she was. She was never really the type of person to feel insecure about most things in life.. however.. "I answered your question honestly and.." Janelle sighed with exaggeration before turning to walk towards the bathroom addition, "I guess I will just have to take care of this in the shower myself.."

Janelle didn't even know that he moved after her until she felt him push her flush against the bathroom door before she even had a chance to open it. She could feel him hard against the bottom of her ass, while she bit her lip to keep from smiling in both approval and voicing her pleasure. Happy hummed softly, seemingly unaffected even though the hard erection he was sporting within his jeans said otherwise. A rough hand tangled in her soft strains before pulling it sharply to the side, making Happy smirk when he heard her try and fail to swallow a moan.

"..Will you now?" Happy's question was rhetorical since many times before the both of them had got off.. while watching the other get off, but he wasn't about to have her try and get out of what the both of them clearly wanted. Each other. He knew damn well that she was teasing and Happy couldn't hold back a wide smirk that curved upon his lips when he felt her curvy form start to shiver ever so slightly against him. "Can I watch?" Happy deliberately breathed the question hotly against her ear before he licked a path from the inside of her ear all the way down to toy with her left collarbone.

When Janelle groaned softly under her breath and brought her left hand up to scratch the top of his tattooed head softly with her nails, he knew he had her. He always will.

"Fuck.." Janelle growled the curse lowly through her teeth and in on fluid movement she opened the bathroom door with one hand and dragged him inside with the other using all of her strength. Of course he didn't fight her movements, he never would, and his smirk curved wider upon his lips with the promise of steamy shower sex to come.

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Thank you for reading, I hope all of you like it so far. :)