Chapter 21: Facing the Beast

"So you won't actually come out and say it…will you?" Yoruichi asked, watching as Byakuya's chin lifted and the guarded eyes met hers again.

"I have never been one to waste words where they were not necessary," he said softly, "or where the content would not change anything of the reality. Whatever might hold the words back, Renji has already said…"

"Byakuya," Yoruichi said, stepping closer, "of course he said that. It was a knee-jerk response. Don't confuse that with a thoughtful decision. Renji needs time to think…time to come to terms with the idea. Just as he needed time to think about living with you, he needs time now to think about being permanently bound to you."

"Thirty days is not enough time for Abarai Renji to come to terms with a shotgun wedding to his taichou. That being said, I understand why he wants me to fight the council. But when I fought them before, I fought them wholeheartedly. I cannot do that now. I do not lack the courage to face them down…I lack the desire."

Yoruichi nodded.

"Where you lack courage is in saying this to the one who most needs to hear it."

"Even if I wanted to explain, Renji left. I don't have any idea…"

"Karakura Town," Yoruichi said simply, "You can lie to me, but don't lie to yourself. You can feel his reiatsu from here. Now…do something about it, before it is too late."

He was spared from answering by a hell butterfly that floated up and began its message before it was fully at rest. Soutaichou's voice floated from it and Byakuya could hear the deep concern immediately.

Kuchiki Byakuya, word has reached us of a crippling attack on our listening post in Hueco Mundo. I have sent Squad 11 and now reinforcements are needed. You must leave immediately. Our forces are being crushed. Your Squad has been notified and will meet you at the rendezvous point. Send word when you reach the listening post. I will have another squad sent in relief when it is possible.

"I take it that dinner is out, then," sighed Yoruichi, "Shall I take word to Renji?"

Byakuya sighed and shook his head.

"As you said, he needs time to consider."

Yoruichi frowned.

"He needs to do his job…and that means watching your back."

Byakuya waved her off.

"At least go in and eat something first. They went to a bit of trouble and Rukia will be eating alone."

"Oh," said Yoruichi, laughing softly, "we can't have that. Fine, I'll have dinner with her…but I will take a message to Renji after that."

Byakuya turned away, but was stopped once more by Yoruichi's voice.

"Be careful, Little Byakuya," she said affectionately, "don't do anything rash before your fukutaichou is there to protect your backside."

He gave her a swift sideways glance and disappeared.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji slipped quietly down the hallway to his room. He could hear Jinta in the dining room still marveling over how little the 'Moocher' had eaten and asking Kisuke if he should check and make sure he didn't have a fever. Renji sighed.

"Little brat," he muttered under his breath.

He was right, though. After fighting hollows all day, he should have had an appetite. But he couldn't think about food at all. It was very unlike him.

All he could think about was the expression on Byakuya's face when he called his taichou a coward. He hadn't even been angry. The look he had given Renji was a look of surprise. It unnerved Renji and left him with the distinct feeling he had missed something critical. He was sure he had. But he was so damned bad at picking up on the subtle nuances of emotional behavior…and being with Byakuya usually made it unnecessary to use that skill anyway. But Byakuya had been opening up and allowing Renji to see more of his responses. And Renji knew that he rarely ever gave anyone that privilege. That was courage in and of itself. That suggested that it wasn't a lack of courage that kept Kuchiki Byakuya from fighting back this time. But no matter how hard he thought about it, the answer evaded Renji.

"Damn! What were you trying to tell me?" he muttered, lying down on the bed without even taking the time to undress.

He stared out the window into the dark, cloudy sky and watched in silence as the rain began to fall. His eyes blinked and stared, blinked and stared as the house grew quiet. Slowly, Abarai Renji drifted off to sleep. Not surprisingly, Byakuya appeared immediately in his dreams.

Byakuya surveyed the battlefield and frowned in annoyance. He hated sharing a battlefield with the 11th, especially when the 11th arrived first.

"Not even a proper kidou shield to protect his men," Byakuya muttered.

He motioned to the third and fourth seats.

"Go out to the flanks and get a kidou shield over them, so at least we won't lose all of them to projectiles and ceros! I'll protect the main force while you get set."

"Hai, Captain!" the two said together, then turned and flash stepped away.

It wasn't the best situation. If he'd had things his way, the kidou field would have gone up first, held by Renji and by him as the troops started their incantations and prepared their zanpakutous for release…but the battle was in full swing and Byakuya knew he had no one with him capable of keeping the 11th from being annihilated while the shield was set in place. Soul reapers from the 11th were falling in droves and Byakuya was damned if he was going to sacrifice his own men in the same reckless fashion. He ordered them to remain on the flanks and in reserve until the field rose, then flash stepped forward onto a small rise near the front lines.

He raised Senbonzakura, point down and began his release.

"Ban Kai, Senbonzakura Kageyoshi."

The great swords rose around him and he felt the eyes of the approaching menos grande turn toward him. He ignored the dead glares and the rising red ceros that fired in his direction. They broke against his petal shield and the ones who sent them roared in annoyance, gathering themselves for another volley. This time half fired their ceros at him and half aimed at the fighters of the 11th where they battled below him. Lowering his head, he split his power between his petal shield and the blades he sent to shield the fighters. He raised his spirit energy and released a kidou blast at the nearest group of menos.

"Hado #33, Soukatsui!"

The blast stunned the group momentarily, giving him time to fire his petal blades at another group of hollows closing in to attack the fighters. Byakuya caught his breath sharply.

"Where is that kidou shield?" he hissed.

He turned his head to see what was holding things up and realized that his fourth seat had fallen, taken down by a stray fire blast. The fifth seat was racing to take his place, but was still too far away. Byakuya turned back just in time to raise his petal shield against a mingled blast of ceros that emanated from four of the approaching menos. The force of it pushed him backwards several feet, before he slid to a stop and sent a fire blast so strong it took out all four. But more were closing in…too many more, by far. Byakuya's heart froze. He was about to watch the remaining fighters get enveloped and destroyed with ceros. There was only one thing left that Kuchiki Byakuya could do to protect them.

Flash stepping toward them, he activated his Senkei. The thousand pink swords rose around the fighters, protecting them as they fought off the ground forces. But the tactic left Byakuya outside the Senkei…and nearly defenseless. The menos were more than happy to make him pay for his brashness. Ceros fired from all directions and Byakuya's flash step took him in an erratic dance between them, passing so close that the heat of them seared his flesh. He knew his fate hung in the balance and that if he was to survive…

He felt the kidou shield finally rising and began to recall his Senkei. In a moment of deep relief, Kuchiki Byakuya paused to take a breath…and it threatened to be his last.

Behind a group of menos, three men stood.

Tousen…

Gin…

Aizen…

He hadn't expected them to involve themselves in this type of skirmish. They usually didn't. The three were reaching for their weapons. In one breathtaking moment, Kuchiki Byakuya was forced to make a terrible decision.

Throwing everything into the Senkei, Byakuya flash stepped at blinding speed, trusting his inertia to carry him between ceros and kidou blasts. He wasn't certain which one was his undoing. All Kuchiki Byakuya knew was that something struck him with breathtaking force and he was thrown from his feet. Instantly, he detonated his Senkei, destroying every enemy in a wide swath around the fighters. The three men were forced back, but Kuchiki Byakuya was left facing down four incoming ceros with nothing left but a basic kidou shield. Normally, even this would have been enough, but the prolonged battle had worn him down. The ceros pounded the shield and burned painfully against his skin.

Rolling to his feet, he flash stepped toward the safety of the defense shield behind him, dodging the heavy volley of kidou and cero that followed, madly trying to bring him down. Just a breath away from safety, he heard a zanpakutou pulled free and turned to meet it. He never saw the second that slashed from somewhere to the side. Instinct carried him the last few steps into the safety of the defense shield, where he turned and met the eyes of Tousen and Gin where they stood, gazing at him through the shield, the latter smiling widely as Kuchiki Byakuya staggered back and started to fall. The last thing he heard was Yoruichi's warning echoing in his mind.

"Be careful, Little Byakuya. Don't do anything rash before your fukutaichou is there to protect your backside!"

That made three times in less than a week that she'd been right. Thankfully, she wasn't there to laugh at him this time.

Abarai Renji sat up in a cold sweat. A moment later, he shot past Yoruichi in the hallway, flash stepping down the hall, shouting for Urahara Kisuke to open the Garganta.

XXXXXXXXXX

Kuchiki Byakuya decided that there wasn't much that tasted fouler than blood in one's mouth. And not being accustomed to falling on the battlefield, being frozen on the ground leaking blood and reiatsu was both foreign and deeply disturbing. He realized suddenly that he had fallen into brush. It wasn't only the thorns tearing at his skin that made this unacceptable, it was also that it did a very good job of hiding him from view. He was barely inside the defense shield and halfway down the wrong side of a hill…and the reiatsu that would guide searchers to his side was exiting his body at an accelerated rate.

Senbonzakura was in no shape to help. He had blocked the last ceros, but shattered as the two swordsmen attacked. The spirit barely stirred when he called its name.

Knowing help would be some time in coming, he focused on lowering his reiatsu flow to conserve it and shifting until he could staunch the flow of blood with his haori. This ensured that he would live longer, but would make him harder to find…if anyone noticed he hadn't returned and actually thought anything of it. There was a price that came with his reputation. If he didn't return right away, they might simply assume he had continued reconnaissance after the battle…what he logically would have done if not lying on the ground bleeding to death.

He listened carefully for the sounds of voices, for the scraping sound of footsteps on the nearby path or any hint of reiatsu from shinigami or zanpakutou. All had gone quiet and still around him. Eventually, exhaustion overtook him and he drifted in and out of consciousness.

At some point, he felt a brush of familiar reiatsu…and he heard a familiar voice calling his name. Someone was searching for him…but he couldn't drag himself far enough out of his reverie to answer. His body stubbornly refused to obey him. He released the hold on his reiatsu and it flared brightly.

He could no longer open his eyes or move at all, but he felt the familiar reiatsu reach him and heard the soothing sound of Renji's voice in the calm darkness. He clung to it, focusing on it so as not to give in to the pain that shot through him as he was lifted and moved. He was set down again a short time later and healing light flared around him.

He relinquished control and faded out again. He drifted in and out of consciousness, vacillating between life and death as healing touches pulled him back time and time again from the edge of that compelling precipice. He wasn't afraid of dying. He had looked it in the face more than once…but he did not desire it. So when the familiar voice of his fukutaichou rose up in his mind and urged him to return, he reached out for that voice. It grew a little closer each time.

At some point, he began to surface and came to the realization that his surroundings had changed. Even not being able to open his eyes, he sensed the white walls of the Fourth Division. He found it strange that he did not remember being returned to the Seireitei. Voices and reiatsu came and went. He sensed Rukia's presence several times and Yoruichi's, as well as Hanatorou's and Unohana taichou's. The most constant presence and voice was Renji's…but Byakuya wasn't sure if it could really be him. Some part of him remembered Renji being furious about something and leaving him in the Squad Six office.

Slowly, he began to regain the use of his eyes. At first, everything was fuzzy and surreal, but slowly the faces and voices connected in his mind and he was seeing and hearing again.

I'm sorry I left like I did. I don't know why I got so angry at you. I guess I just couldn't understand why you wouldn't fight the council on their decision. I still don't understand, but I want you to tell me. Maybe I'm being stupid, not being able to figure it out, but it just isn't making sense to me. But I'll sit still and listen to you. You just have to talk to me, Taichou.

He did try.

His lips moved, but he couldn't seem to get beyond Renji's name before feeling exhaustion sweeping through him and surrendering again to the darkness. Still, each time awareness returned, it became easier and easier to respond. And one morning, he heard the sound of birds chirping outside the window and sat up to look at them. The sudden movement startled a still sleeping Renji into wakefulness and he tumbled off of his chair, landing on the floor in a confused and cursing heap.

"Really Renji," Byakuya said, blinking to clear his vision, "must you start the day by making so much noise?"

Renji was staring and his expression read first disbelief, then relief, then extreme joy. Kuchiki Byakuya suddenly found himself in Abarai Renji's warm embrace, his face cupped in gentle hands and his mouth pleasured with a flurry of kisses. Although more than a little bit flustered and confused, Byakuya allowed this and even welcomed it, wrapping his arms around his ecstatic fukutaichou and resting a weary head on his shoulder. He knew they still had much to iron out, but it was a source of both comfort and relief to have Renji in his arms again.