She hadn't been looking forward to going to sleep tonight. How could she after what happened the night before? She thought she was doing fine, she was learning about this world, quickly, perhaps even quicker than he expected her to. They'd had a wonderful conversation about their past together, had a delicious dinner they'd made together, and then gone to bed and had a wonderful evening before truly falling to sleep. When she went to bed wrapped in his arms she would have thought that her past was behind her.
And then it was before her again, in a sudden maze of crystal clear pictures. Nightmares were a rarity for her, she didn't even dream normally, or if she did she didn't remember her dreams. But she always remembered her nightmares even before Rumpelstiltskin only now they'd changed when she least expected it.
Last night when she closed her eyes she found herself trapped inside a padded cell with bars on a window and a strong iron lock at the door. As she'd stared at the room it had started to shrink, closing in around her while she banged on the door begging for help, for mercy! Her hands started to blister and bleed but the room only continued to become smaller and smaller and smaller, until it was so tiny her head hit the ceiling! She felt trapped and struggled to breathe, and then from a small window at the door a black-haired woman stared smiling at her before breaking into a terrible laugh-
"No!" she'd gasped as she sat up in bed. Inevitably wrenching herself away from his protective grasp and curling into herself while she looked around the spacious quiet room, breathing in the air in great gulps. She had clutched her knees to her chest and started to tear up in the aftermath.
"Belle!" He was always there when she woke up. He was a light sleeper and he seemed to wake up the instant she had, just as surprised that it was her having the nightmare and not him. "Belle, what's wrong, what did you see?"
"I know my name," she insisted, trying to calm herself down as she felt his hand on her back. "I know my name, I know your name, I know who I am, I know...I know...I know my name..." she repeated, over and over again she said it, until her shock gave way to anger and frustration. She rested her forehead against the top of her arms, upset that this could still happen, that even in freedom the Evil Queen still wouldn't let her have peace, and couldn't let them live their life as she wanted.
His arm had snaked around her back and down to her waist as he attempted to comfort her. She knew it wasn't easy for him. Setting aside the seething anger that he would feel toward the Evil Queen in moments like this, his instinct in the past would have been to leave and kill. But he didn't. Instead he slid his hand up to her neck and pulled her against his shoulder. As she continued to cry he move his hand over her back and shoulders, letting his fingers etch small circles into her hip as he muttered reassurances against the top of her head. "You're safe, Sweetheart," he whispered. "You are here with me, you're perfectly safe, and I'll keep you safe for the rest of my life," he promised. "You'll be alright," he muttered when she finally started to uncurl and he was able to lay them back against the mattress. Still, he didn't let her go, just continued to hold her fiercely against his chest until she fell back into a dreamless sleep again.
As much as she hated it, as angry as it made him, she had to admit that it made for a nice change, having him soothe her nightmares instead of having to chase away his. That had been the norm since she got here, and each and every time it broke her heart to think of him having to deal with it on his own without her there as a comforting presence. Nightmares aside she was certain the only reason that she could deal with everything that had happened to her was because he was always there, constantly making her feel safe and secure.
Still, with that memory in her head she hadn't been as eager to go to sleep tonight, worrying that it would happen again. But he seemed to know that, and if she didn't know any better then she would think that he was purposefully trying to distract her. Running his hands up and down her when she climbed into bed and kissing her passionately as he got her to roll over for him. Lovemaking was a good distraction, wonderful really. And when she curled up next to him with a smile on her face, as she always did, she realized that he had done a wonderful job acting as her protector. He kept her safe from others but now it appeared he was also protecting her from herself, from her fears.
"Stay with me," she muttered stretching her arms around his waist and feeling so close to him she thought she might be welded to him. "Forever," she added. She wasn't sure what prompted the request, she knew that he'd stay with her, that he'd never leave her, it wasn't like it was before, they were closer now, she didn't think either of them would ever be able to go on and live without each other. But after last night she had to hear the words, had to know that she could count on him to be there when she woke up...no matter what.
He sighed deeply, just as happy she was in the moment. "I can't think of a better way to spend eternity, Sweetheart." She closed her eyes, still loving when he called her that. Yes, no matter what happened tonight, she could trust him to be there as she slept or if she awoke...forever.
There was no new norm. She was just the outlier in their sea of what was normal.
He didn't gasp when he awoke. He didn't pant or fling himself upright or even look around shocked trying to figure out where he was. Instead he just gave a violent jerk. She was never a light sleeper, not like he was, but even in sleep her body seemed to be hypersensitive to his emotions. They were both instantly awake. Although it had shocked her the first few times, now they both knew exactly what had happened without him needing to say the word. Nightmare. They didn't upset him like they seemed to do her. But they bothered him, enough that the first time he had gotten up and paced downstairs before returning to bed hours later. She hadn't liked that, because when she was honest with herself, she just couldn't get to sleep without him anymore and she'd spent those few hours alone wondering what he was doing and debating with herself over going down to urge him back to bed or letting him work through it one his own.
This time when it happened she glanced up at him, still in the same position that she had gone to sleep in, a glance at the clock confirmed that they hadn't been asleep very long before he had been startled awake. For a moment she felt a rush of relief that it was him and not her, and then immediately a stab of guilt for thinking it. But unlike dealing with her own erratic nightmares, his she could handle so well she knew the script by heart.
She pulled away from him, covering her chest with the sheet, so that he could sit up. "Are you alright?" she asked watching him rub his eyes, trying to pretend like she didn't know the answer about to come out of his mouth.
"Fine," he muttered predictably. Once she was certain that he had gotten his bearings, she sat up herself and hugged him around his middle, trying to be the same soothing presence that he had been for her.
"Do you know what it was about this time?"
He wouldn't. He never remembered his dreams either and the look on his face was always one of blankness. He seemed to know everything, so she could only imagine that not knowing what was in his own head was more disturbing than whatever he had actually dreamed about...
"No," he answered, again predictably.
She nodded and pressed her lips to his shoulder. Now was the hard part, he would give into her, he always did, but some nights were easier than others. "Come on," she whispered, "come back to bed." She gave his arm a tug, trying to get him to lay down again.
"No," he shook his head. "I need to go downstairs to-"
"You need sleep!" she interrupted.
"I don't want to keep you up," he argued, coming up with a typical excuse that she had explained away many times already. But if it meant keeping him by her side, she would do it again a million times over if that's what it took.
"The only way you can keep me up is by leaving," she insisted, "I can't sleep without you anymore." He considered this for a moment, staring straight ahead at the wall as she rubbed his back, trying to make his heart to slow down and his knotted muscles to ease, to calm his body. "Going downstairs to pace isn't going to make the memories come back, Rumple," she pointed out blandly. "Trust me I know," she reminded him. The words that she'd said seemed to have been enough to draw him out of his own mind and he finally glanced over at her. After a moment, he sighed and gave a small nod of his head.
So she smiled, gave the shoulder her chin had been perched upon a final kiss, and pulled away. "Come on," she urged, settling back down against the mattress and opening her arms for him. Every night she fell asleep with him holding her, but on these rare occasions it was her that got to hold him. He nestled himself down next to her mirroring her, clutched her hip, and rested his head on her chest, just under her chin. She brushed his hair back away from his eyes, and let the fine hairs filter through her fingers a few times.
She wished she could do more for him, wished she could stop the nightmares completely, but she knew she couldn't. Just like, close as he was, he couldn't stop hers. He could only help her when she was back in the real world. And it was the same for him. It was just harder for him, to admit that something as harmless as a dream could shake him as much as it did, but the fact that he could put his pride aside and let her bring him comfort was a big step for him. She smiled, trying to keep the tears of bliss out of her eyes as she moved her hand over his back. Moments like this were too beautiful for her not to shed a tear. How could she ever have thought this precious man a terrible beast?
"Just close your eyes," she muttered softly, "go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."
This is a chapter that probably would have gone to live in Exile if it wasn't for the fact that it shows an important point about them both. For Belle it demonstrates that learning about the real world is only part of what she has to work through. Her past is still there and it's haunting. Also, I told you I put in extra time between 2x01 and 2x02 for a number of reasons and the next chapter will officially begin the 2x02 chapters but I wanted it to be perfectly clear A) that Rumple is thinking about his son and B) that he's doing it behind Belle's back. He is making plans right now, I imagine that while David is trying to contain the town, before he comes to him, he is focused on finding Bae and getting a game plan together but not when he's around Belle. He's still hiding his past from her and that will change very soon.
Thank you to LaurieAHancock, Grace5231873, Drac1026, and Skitzoeinhoven for your review on the last chapter. I'm thrilled with it's wonderful reception of course! It's one of the crowned jewels of the Moments Series in my mind and I'm always thrilled to hear that it's not just me, but ya'll that like it as well! Thank you! Peace and Happy Reading!