"TYPHOID BRITTA"
INT. GREENDALE STUDY ROOM
Abed Nadir, Jeff Winger, Troy Barnes, Annie Edison, Ivy Reeds, and Jillian McNeal are sitting around the couches. Troy Barnes is sniffling.
TROY
I think I'm dying.
ABED
Really?
BRITTA
I can call my homeopath. He's really great. He cured me.
ANNIE
No offense, but you spent the entire weekend sniffling in Troy's bed. I think time healed you.
ABED
It's true. He tried to convince you to take DayQuil while you moaned and drank some weird smoothie.
BRITTA
It works!
TROY
That smoothie was worse than any illness you could have given me.
JEFF
Ugh. Britta. Did you start a Greendale plague?
Troy coughs and blows his nose dramatically.
TROY
(pitifully)
I wish I had orange juice.
Abed jumps to his feet.
ABED
I'll go.
BRITTA
No. I'll go. Because I'm a good girlfriend.
Britta exits. The group looks to Troy.
TROY
I like her! I'm just really sick so I can't remember why.
IVY
It's nice that you took care of her.
ANNIE
Yeah, Troy. That was really sweet of you.
JEFF
Ugh. We're all adults. When we're sick, can't we just take care of ourselves and not spread germs around?
ANNIE
Jeff!
JEFF
What? We're adults and sick people are gross.
ABED
Friends are supposed to help friends when they're sick. Even if it means faking an autograph from Tom Jones.
JEFF
You too, Abed?
ABED
It allows for hi-jinks.
TROY
(coughing)
And hilarity.
JEFF
Well, you can all have fun coughing on each other and wiping each other's noses. I'll see you when it passes.
ANNIE
Ah! Jeff!
Jeff exits. Jillian looks to Ivy before she gets up to follow him.
INT. GREENDALE HALLWAY - FOLLOWING JEFF
Jillian McNeal goes after Jeff Winger. She runs to catch up to him.
JILLY
Hey.
JEFF
Hi.
JILLY
You've been avoiding me.
JEFF
After that shameful closet hook up? Wonder why.
JILLY
Oh, come on. You wouldn't stop talking about your study group. You care about them. Even enough to take care of one of them when they're sick.
JEFF
You too?
Jeff turns a corner quickly, trying to lose her. She keep sup. Jeff knocks into Garrett, trying to get away. Garrett's books go flying. Jillian knocks into him on the other end. Garret goes flying.
INT. EMPTY GREENDALE CLASSROOM
Jeff Winger ducks into a classroom. Jillian McNeal ducks in after him.
JEFF
You here to make it up to me?
JILLY
You should be trying to make it up to me. You wouldn't stop running your big mouth.
JEFF
(not laughing)
Ha. Ha.
Jillian crosses her arms and looks at him. He caves.
JEFF (CONT'D)
Look, I'm sorry. Annie and I had just had a long talk that resulted in her throwing a scotch in my face. I was trying to stop the drama for a little while.
JILLY
I'm not looking for an apology.
JEFF
Then what are you looking for?
JILLY
I'm here to make a bet.
JEFF
What kind of bet?
JILLY
If you can really watch all your friends get sick and not help them. I'll tell you about the time I experimented in college.
JEFF
But you're in college now.
Jilly smirks. She raises an eyebrow knowingly.
JEFF (CONT'D)
How do you know they'll all get sick?
JILLY
Last week I went to Troy, Annie, and Abed's apartment. I counted two toothbrushes. Two.
JEFF
Okay. I like this deal.
Jillian holds out her hand.
JEFF (CONT'D)
Wait. What do you think you're getting out of it?
JILLY
You'll owe me one big embarrassing favor to be claimed at the time of my choosing.
JEFF
No way.
JILLY
Scared?
JEFF
No.
JILLY
Then shake.
Jilly holds out her hand. Jeff shakes. He starts to leave and stops.
JEFF
Why are you doing this?
JILLY
I'm bored. Duh.
Jillian exits, pushing past Jeff.
INT. GREENDALE STUDY ROOM - THE NEXT DAY
Troy Barnes, Abed Nadir, Jeff Winger, Ivy Reeds, Britta Perry, and Jillian McNeal are sitting around the couches in the study room. Britta sits on a chair next to the couch. Troy, Abed, and Ivy sit on the couch in that order. Jillian sits next to Ivy, with Annie on her other side. Jeff is between Britta and Annie. Troy and Abed sneeze simultaneously.
TROY AND ABED
Cool.
Jillian looks to Jeff and raises her eyebrow. Jeff stands up and begins gathering his things.
ANNIE
Where are you going?
JEFF
I've got a thing.
Jeff exits.
INT. TROY, ABED, AND ANNIE'S APARTMENT - THE NIGHT
In the living room, Abed Nadir is sitting in his chair in front of the television. Ivy Reeds sits on the armrest. Troy's chair is empty. Abed sniffs and Ivy hands him a tissue.
IVY
You should go to bed.
ABED
One more episode.
IVY
Abed-
ABED
You said I was sick. Sick people get to watch as much TV as they want.
IVY
You're incorrigible.
ABED
I don't know the meaning of the word.
Ivy gets up from the armrest and stretches.
ABED (CONT'D)
Are you going home? It's late. I should walk you to your car.
IVY
I'm going to borrow pajamas from Annie.
ABED
You're sleeping over?
IVY
If no one watches you, you'll be watching TV all night.
She starts walking to Annie's room and turns back, unsure.
IVY (CONT'D)
Is that okay?
ABED
Yes.
INT. ANNIE'S BEDROOM - FOLLOWING
Annie is sitting at her vanity brushing her hair. Ivy sits on her bed in a pair of Annie's pink pajamas.
IVY
Do you think it's weird if I stay?
ANNIE
No. I think it's sweet.
A moment passes.
ANNIE (CONT'D)
I need to ask you something.
IVY
What is it?
ANNIE
Does Jillian like Jeff?
IVY
She likes all of you.
ANNIE
You know what I mean.
Ivy signs deeply.
IVY
I can't gossip about her with you.
ANNIE
I'm not gossiping. I just -
IVY
She hasn't told me anything.
ANNIE
So nothing's happened?
IVY
Not that I know of.
ANNIE
And she'd tell you?
IVY
Maybe.
Annie looks unsure. She puts down her hairbrush.
IVY (CONT'D)
Stanley's home.
ANNIE
Good for him.
IVY
He's asking about you. I wouldn't be surprised if he called you.
Annie doesn't say anything, but she smiles and resumes brushing her hair.