Reflecting

"You can't do that whilst your pregnant." Punk grabbed Kirin's arm, grabbing her in from his bathroom in his old apartment, watching her take her hand and wiggle her nose around, wiping it and looking up at him and laughing.

"Yes I can." She said, "What you gonna do? Tie me up until I have the baby?" She asked.

"You're gonna kill it. Is that what you want?" He asked as she just looked past him and folded her arms.

"You know I can't stop." She whispered quietly, "You of all people know." She said.

"Well you gotta, or else that baby is gonna die inside you and you're gonna have to live with it for the rest of your life. And I'm gonna have to blame you." He said.

"It's just a little bit." She sighed, "I've been cutting down."

"No cutting down. Just stop doing it all together, Kirin. You're five months along. You're showing. The baby is moving around. You gotta stop drinking, smoking and taking lines in my bathroom." He said.

"It gets me through." She said, "You know this. Why does me being pregnant change anything?" She asked as he rolled his eyes.

"Because we're having a baby." Punk said.

"No. You're having this baby. You know I'm not staying. You know this wasn't what I wanted. You forced me into this. I wanted to get rid of it and forget about it."

"Yeah? Well I couldn't forget about something like that." He said, "This could be a chance for you to get clean. For us to start fresh." He said.

"I don't want to get clean, Punk." She said, "I don't wanna settle down in the suburbs and get married and have tons of kids to ruin my life. And you never wanted that either."

"Yeah, I don't want that. But I want to give this kid the best life possible. I want to give it the life we never got." He said, "Don't you?"

"I don't know what I am doing. I don't know what a mom does."

"And you think I know what a dad does?" He asked, "I'm just as clueless as you are." He told her.

"You'll get the hang of it." She shrugged, "You aren't a crack head like me."

"Don't call yourself that." Punk said as she just rolled her eyes.

"When are you gonna open your damn eyes and finally see what I really am?" She asked, "I'm never gonna change. You were all I wanted. A baby was never part of the plan." She said.

"Well things just happen." Punk said, "I don't treat you like Dean and Seth do because I know that you have a problem. I know this is an addiction, and you can't stop. I know that."

"And that's why I love you." She said, "That's why I love you. You get me. And you've never wanted me to change-"

"I do want you to change. I want you to get better. For your own self. For our baby."

"She is your baby. Not mine." She said.

"She?" Punk repeated as Kirin nodded, walking over to the side of the bed she shared with Punk whenever it suited her. Taking her purse and emptying it as her shaking hands looked for the black and white picture.

"It's definitely here." She said. Whenever she spoke about the baby or looked at it on a sonogram picture, she trembled a little, like her body was physically rejecting it.

Punk watched as she scrambled through pills, boxes of cigarettes, bags and a few make-up essentials, finally finding what she was looking for, passing him the almost ripped in half black and white picture, that appeared to have been at the bottom of her bag.

"I didn't know you had an appointment." He said as she nodded.

"You were working." She said, "They told me it was a girl." She said as he looked at the picture with a smile, "Which worried me because I know you wanted a boy." She said.

"It never mattered to me." Punk said, "The guys wanted a boy. I didn't mind." He told her, looking over at her, "Tell me that you don't look at that and feel something. That's our kid, Kirin. Our daughter." He said, "How can you walk away from her?"

"Very easily." She said, "I won't get attached. I'll have her, and I'll leave." She said, "Nothing here for me anymore anyway."

"What about me? Your brother? The rest of the guys?"

"We're not together anymore, Punk. The last time we fucked was probably the night I got pregnant. Joey doesn't even talk to me anymore. He thinks I'm disgusting for not wanting her. And the rest of the guys… they'll survive."

"I don't wanna do this on my own." He shook his head, "What do I have to do to convince you to stay?" He said.

"For me to stay here?" Kirin said as he nodded.

"Yeah."

"If I stay. The baby goes. We could put her into care. Or put her up for adoption. A family could have her that are longing for a baby. Not kids like us who don't know what we're doing." She said, grabbing his hands, "I don't want to leave you. I just don't want her." She said.

"Well I do." Punk said, "And the fact you even suggested care is making me feel sick." Punk spat, throwing her hands away, "You know what care is like. I don't my own daughter ever going to one of they places." He said.

"Well then I leave." She said as he just nodded.

"Well that's that then." Punk said. He wasn't giving up on his unborn daughter. He promised he'd never let her down.

"Hey, you ok?" AJ asked, walking into the living room in her house, or she should now say… their house. It was a week later and Punk and Joni were officially moved in with AJ, and Dean had claimed Punk's apartment. Their first week of living together was great, and so far there was no more unexpected visits from Joey.

"Yeah." Punk nodded.

"You look a little lost." She admitted, sitting down her coffee on the coffee table, snuggling up beside him in the dimly lit living room. The TV and fire the only light in the room, just the way they liked it. Joni was in bed fast asleep. She really loved living here. Much better than she ever did in the apartment.

"I'm just thinking." Punk told her.

"About what?" She asked him.

"Kirin." Punk said as AJ looked up at him, "Not like that, just… how she ruined everyone's lives. That's all." Punk said, "If Joey hasn't seen her these past few years, there's probably a good chance she's dead." Punk shook his head.

"What makes you think that?" AJ asked.

"Well, the drugs are gonna catch up to her at some point." He said, "And it's not that I care but… well I do care." He said.

"You still care about her?" AJ asked.

"No… I just… I don't wanna tell Joni that her mother died in some gutter from overdosing and drinking herself into oblivion. It's not a good image." He said.

"You won't have to tell her that. Maybe she's gotten clean and got a hold of herself." AJ said as Punk just shook his head.

"I seriously doubt it." Punk said, "But I don't care." He shook his head suddenly, turning to her, "You and Joni are all I care about." He smiled, pressing a kiss on her forehead as she smiled.

Their week of living together had been wonderful so far. It was like they were a proper little family. AJ had never felt this way or known what it was like to share space with people she loved. So far it was wonderful. Always going to bed and waking up with Punk. Having dinner together, helping Joni with her homework, having a minor fight over who should do the dishes, and then making up and doing them together. She loved living with Punk and Joni.

"Will you two be ok tomorrow, you remember I'm going out with Carmella right?" She said as he nodded.

"Yeah. We'll just go out somewhere. I'll maybe take her to the park, or just chill here." He shrugged as AJ nodded.

"Well I shouldn't be late. It's just breakfast." She told him, watching him yawn, rolling his head back on the couch tiredly, "Tired baby." She sighed, cupping his cheek as he smiled.

"I was up early today whilst you were snoring your head off." He said as she just laughed.

"So you just wanna go straight to bed?" She pouted, sitting up and pressing a kiss on his check, burying her face into his neck and kissing him softly as he moaned and shut his eyes.

"I might have a little bit of energy. I just need some motivation." He admitted as she chuckled.

"Motivation?" She asked, "Ok." She nodded, standing up and jumping off the couch, standing in front of him as she began to strip her clothes off one item at a time, turning around, bending down, moving her hips from side to side as he sat up with wide eyes and a smirk, "Getting motivated yet?" She asked, standing in her underwear now.

"Almost there. I think I'm gonna need one more item off." He said cockily as she smirked, reaching behind and unclasping her bra, letting it fall from her as he shuffled around on the couch agitatedly.

"Ok, I am fully motivated." He nodded as she walked over to him, feeling him grab around the waist and pull her on top of him as she squealed and laughed.

"It didn't take you long." She smirked, pressing a kiss on his lips as he ran his hands up and down her sides softly. She felt taken care of by him. Protected and safe.

"I feel like I don't even see you anymore." Carmella sighed the next morning, out for breakfast with AJ, "I can't just randomly stroll into your house anymore. Last time I done that I found Punk in the kitchen in just his boxers drinking from the carton of milk." She cringed as AJ laughed.

"I told him to stop doing that." AJ muttered, "But a lot has been going on. I think now that him and Joni are moved in, it's gonna be a lot more calm. You know… no more moving to and from his place to mine whenever we decide." She said.

"I can't believe you're living together." Carmella just shook her head, "And to think you were gonna let it all go with him at the start." She remembered.

"I'm glad I didn't." AJ admitted, "He's the best thing that's ever happened to me." She said, "I'm just… I'm just worried about his past. His old friend Joey came back last week and he was really interested in Punk forgiving him. I think they were really close. Punk's been kinda off since he came back."

"Is he back for good?" Carmella asked.

"Well I haven't seem him around since. But I think so, with the way he was speaking." AJ said, "I'm not sure if I really like him."

"You don't know him." Carmella laughed a little.

"He wasn't taking any responsibility for his actions, and I still think there's something else that went down that he isn't saying. I think he knew exactly what was going on, and gave Punk those drugs on purpose."

"But I thought they were close?" Carmella asked.

"Well that's where things don't make sense." AJ said, "And then I'm trying to think if it has something to do with Punk's ex. But she was long gone at that point, as far as I know. She left when Joni was born. So I don't think it has anything to do with her." She said.

"Maybe it's best you let Punk deal with it all. It seems a lot more complicated. Maybe things did go on that you don't know about."

"Punk tells me everything." AJ said, "I just don't want this all to come crashing down now. Everything has been so perfect. And Joni has been getting on so well."

"Things will stay perfect." Carmella said, "Whoever this guy is, he's an old friend of Punk's. They'll either make up and that'll be it, or Punk will send him away and there will be no contact." Carmella said, "You have nothing to worry about."

"I don't know." AJ sighed, "I just don't like seeing him so lifeless. Things were going so good with us."

"This guy shouldn't affect your relationship with him. Just keep doing what you're doing. It's fairly obvious you're both happy, and Joni is happy. Isn't that all that matters?" She asked as AJ just nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right." AJ nodded with a smile, "I'll just stay out of it." She said calmly.

"Push me higher!" Joni exclaimed, at the park with Punk, being pushed on the swing as she begged to go higher.

"You're already going high." Punk said.

"But I wanna go higher!" She said as Punk just gave her that extra push, smiling at her little legs kicking back and forth as she swung high.

"High enough for you?" He asked.

"Yeah." Joni giggled as Punk suddenly caught his eyes on Joey walking in the park.

"You go play, baby. I'm just going over to the fence." He told her as she continued to swing on the swing, hopping off and running to the jungle gym when it stopped as Punk came in contact with Joey.

"Unless you have a kid I see no reason for you being here." Punk said truthfully as Joey just laughed.

"I came here to talk with you." He said, "Look, I'm not leaving here, I've came back and I'm not running off again. I wanna work things out with you." He said, "C'mon Punk, we're brothers.

"That's what I thought until I went to prison for four years, for you." He said, "I let down my daughter for your ungrateful ass. She spent four years in care."

"That's on Dean. Not me." Joey said.

"At least Dean stayed. They all found it tough. You'd left, I'd gone to prison, they were scared and found it hard to take care of her. Which I can understand. She was only two."

"And now look how big she is." Joey said, turning over and looking at Joni with a smile, "Looks like Kirin."

"I know she does." Punk said.

"Miss her?" He asked as Punk shook his head.

"I'm happy now. Happier than I've ever been." He said, "You blew it, alright. You had your chance, you could have came seen me in prison, made sure Joni and the guys were ok, but you left when things got tough, just like Kirin." Punk said, "I have nothing to say to you." He shook his head.

"Please." Joey said, "Just hear me out." He begged as Punk stood still with no expression or movement, looking at Joey and rolling his eyes.

"You got as long as it takes for Joni to get bored. Because then we're going home." He told Joey who nodded.

A/N: Let me know what you think.