The Call to the Light
Chapter 21 complete
Rey's stomach lurches. As much as she's missed Poe Dameron, whom she hasn't seen in months, she really, really wishes he wasn't here right now, especially armed with a bunch of other Resistance guys. And especially when she's in her thin sleeping clothes.
"Poe!" she calls to him, smoothly – though it's no use, as all the blasters click in her direction.
Poe's eyes widen "Easy, easy!" he warns them. He lowers his own and jogs right up to her.
"What are you doing here? No one's heard from you in over a week!" he chastises her like she is an errant sibling.
Rey is swallowed up in his embrace before she can try to assemble some explanation. Finn is not with them. Neither is Chewbacca, Kivi, or even Leia.
Dread creeps into her chest. Poe's encounter with Kylo Ren is only shadowed by her own duels with him, but he's carried those mortifying memories as a wound that will forever fester, incentive for each day he's been a part of the Resistance. Rey knows exactly how Ben tortured her friend, the star pilot and favorite son of the Resistance. If Poe finds Ben on this ship, he'll kill him.
Her inability to explain everything in five seconds is forgotten by the sound of a loaded blaster.
"Up here, Rebel scum, you're completely surrounded." Niall's voice drawls high above in the catwalks. She can sense Rumley and Terric nearby, too.
All the weapons Poe's men have on them are aimed high up at the catwalks. Rey tampers down her irritation over Poe's hand, stretched back to protect her.
Poe sizes up the smartass hiding in the shadows. "We're usually called the Resistance these days."
"That right, pretty boy?"
Poe's stupidly cute eyes turn to Rey for an explanation. All she can do is shrug. "He's…nicer once you charm him." She eyes Niall. "Are the women all right?"
"Korla's with 'em now. They're not happy to know a buncha guys with guns are aboard our ship. Now want to explain to me why you forced me to let you board, you little prick?" he demands Poe.
The soldiers' weapons are still drawn while Poe glares up steadily. "You have a wanted criminal on board this ship."
Niall's all sass now. "Oh! A wanted criminal? Just the one?"
"Perhaps you've heard of him," Poe cuts quickly. "Kylo Ren."
"He's right there," said Terric's voice, though Rey can't see him. "By the stairs."
"Sir! To your left!"
All at once Poe and his men click their weapons in the direction. Ben, the stupid idiot, leans forward like he's about to greet the intruders. His dark profile is blazed with a shower of blaster bolts –
Though they don't touch him. They spark around his person and crackle angrily at missing their target.
Of course he'd use the Force against the Resistance Ops. What surprises everyone – including Rey – is her own outstretched arms blocking the bolts from harming him.
Away from the glow, Ben gives Rey a strange look. His eyes scan her rapidly, and Rey finds herself straightening at her clothes and her hair.
Something's different, though. He's usually looked at her with disinterest, or incredulity (usually because she'd done something stupid). This time, though, she feels distinctly uncomfortable, as if she should shield herself from his intensity. Not naked or anything, she reminds herself irritably as she looks away.
When Ben turns to Poe, he waves a hand. The blaster bolts disappear, and with another flick of his fingers, all the blasters in the Resistance members' hands fly out and are thrown behind Ben.
Verbal protests are allowed for a second before Ben freezes the soldiers. His drawing in of the Force is a strong undercurrent that surely even Niall, Rumley and Terric must feel.
Confident in his safety, he walks right up to Poe. Rey watches him for any signs of bullishness, but he remains polite as a host. "I won't deny you the chance to welcome me to the Resistance. There's a lot you want to say to me. Go ahead."
Rey assumes incorrectly that Poe is under Ben's thrall, too. The pilot lunges at the Jedi with a lightning-fast uppercut.
"You traitorous bastard!" Poe swore with every hit. "You monster! You…dick!"
Rey cringes, but doesn't try to interfere. She's glad she isn't crying for Poe to stop. It won't be right, and it'll ignore how her friend second to Finn had been hurt, tortured.
Detachedly, she watches Poe throw brutal punches at Ben, who, taller and more skilled in combat, doesn't defend himself. He's letting Poe hit him, in the face and torso, absorbing every blow with silent acceptance.
Oh. Okay. Five more punches, then she'll break them up.
But Ben's eyes turn into embers when he speaks to Poe. "Go ahead. Do it." He reaches behind for where Rey knows he keeps his lightsaber.
"Okay, Poe, um – " Rey barely says.
Saber out, Ben holds out his hands to stop Poe's fists. "Go ahead. You know you want to do it."
Suddenly Rey senses the purpose behind Ben's eerie calm. "Wait – "
"Rey – don't." Even though he's still keeping the two dozen fighters still through the Force, he extends his power to briefly block her. He stares at her with the need to be understood. "Just stop."
Alarmed, Rey watches Ben size up Poe, who is panting and vexed. He holds out Luke's lightsaber without hesitation. "Strike me down if you wish. I won't stop you."
"What the kriff?!" Rey barks.
Poe, who was staring at the offer like it would burn his hand off, suddenly seizes the hilt as though it will disappear. His eyes nervously dart between his enemy (who honest to kriff just got to his knees like he's a sacrifice) and wherever the damn switch is on the saber.
He finally ignites it. With a hypnotic focus, the pilot angles the blade at Ben's neck.
Rey watches the scene unfold, unable to control it. She can easily separate them through the Force, take the lightsaber and clunk Ben on the head with it. But she needs to see…she reasons that maybe, after being in her room earlier…she can't protect him all the time. She has no reason to, if she continues to call herself good.
Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
What Rey doesn't realize is that, while she watches her dear friend, Dameron, Ben's attention is split between the pilot and her. All he can see despite the blue glow is how her hair is finally down; natural in its appearance, and yet attributing to some ethereal nature about her.
She is as barely clad in her nightclothes as when he first caught her washing the stink of the dead sand shark on Sher-hatha. From his position near to the ground, her legs appear longer, leaner. She's even barefoot. There is something more feral about her, having been roused from sleep, that makes her symmetrical, boyish face and cat eyes appear more enhanced. Her aura is so flushed and torn that something – a dream, perhaps – has left a physical wrinkle about her.
She's gorgeous, and he's not even completely looking at Rey.
Fucking Poe Dameron. He remembers the man who, as a boy from Yavin, the son of two Rebel pilots, had drawn smiles and warm words of praise from his childhood. Before, Kylo Ren had buried him, and upon encountering him again on Jakku, dismissed him as another Resistance radical. Even as he ripped through Dameron's mind, there was a cool, clinical detachment in the act, unwilling to visit Dameron's memories as the awkward child from their pasts.
Now, there is something terribly inferior clawing through his chest at the way Dameron stands so closely to his Jedi companion. If anything, Dameron's presence is more irritating than Finn's.
Ben knows he has to let this too-perfect star soldier unleash his desire for punishment. It's only fair, but it's even more important to offer himself in some form of forgiveness if he wants to stay with Rey any longer.
Ben looks at her and half-expects her to interfere. When all she does is glower guiltily, it doesn't make him panic. Not so much. Maybe a little.
Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
"Poe?" Rey says in a small voice. The glow of the blue saber washes out the blood and fresh bruises on Ben's stoic face. It's all she can say. Not even "don't." It's all so wrong. She knows both of these men yet she can't fix any of it. She can't help, not with the words "sick" and "monster" still ringing in her head.
You're-so-stupid-this-is-so-wrong-you-could-fall-for-any-other-person-why-does-it-have-to-be-HIM-Poe-will-hate-you-you-aready-hate-yourself-don't-you-please-just-shut-these-horrible-feelings-off
Poe's emotions are whirring inside him, though he does not move an inch. Finally, just as Rey tries to assemble the courage to summon the lightsaber out if his hand and act like a responsible Jedi (the only responsible one…), he holds the saber out to Rey's direction…though not before landing a solid kick to Ben's chest.
"I'll wait until we have a better audience," he sneers. "Arrest him."
Whether Ben's concentration is lost or he allows the Resistance to obey Poe's command, the officers snap into action. Ben remains on his knees as he is handcuffed roughly and surrounded by the officers.
Rey's hands are plastered to her face. If it's at all possible for dread to manifest as some sort of nausea, Rey can feel it. After a minute, she steps in dumbly to shut off Luke's saber, unable to look at Poe in the eye. "Is that why you came all the way out here?"
"The word's out, Rey, he's worth more than what the Resistance can afford," Poe's normally relaxed, pleasant voice hardens. "Besides, we got a distress call from this ship. Guess it's not you," he says accusingly, an ugly look of disgust aimed at her.
Though she already has an idea, Rey looks at Ben, who confirms, "Terric. Told you to watch for him."
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Rey's managed to lead Poe to some corner of the hanger to privately talk to him. Terric will have his arse kicked, just not now.
"Was finding him the only reason you're out here?" she asks carefully, jerking her head in Ben's direction.
Poe's guarded, almost clammed, which is against his normally open nature. "There's a POW camp on Namorath. It's strictly voluntary. All these men are the only ones the Resistance can afford."
Rey's eyes sharpen at the ship Poe and his men came in. She knows the name of that camp; it's practically a death sentence for anyone who's captured, because they are never heard from again. She knows a few Resistance fighters who were captured and most likely sent there. One of them was a Coruscanti human named Bayred Jonn.
"That's all you got with you? To liberate Namorath?"
"When Finn and the General finally told me the truth," Poe begins, eyes and voice like lightning, "That you were out in hiding with him – well, I had even more incentive to volunteer. How….." Poe's begun, like the words to a forgotten chant. "How can you do this…after everything we – "
Poe throws her the most wretched look of betrayal and scorn Rey's ever received. It's enough to make Rey understand what it's like to have a family member glare with disapproval.
Rey can't take it. "Poe, I can explain – "
"Has he been controlling you?"
"No," Rey swears. "I'm too strong for that."
"Are you sleeping with him?" Poe presses.
Bewildered he could even suspect that, Rey answers quickly. "No! Why would you – "
"It's the only explanation I could think of that would make sense of – any of this," Poe tells her, throwing an errant around the hanger.
"How did – did Finn or Leia tell you what happened? After Luke died?" He must know about that, Rey thinks beseechingly, as if that is where she'll start to explain how all of this; how Ben has rescinded the First Order, how he had been providing information as Rey recovered from Snoke's fight, how he's trained her to destroy the damn Sith. Poe has to understand that.
Poe shakes away Rey's words from his head madly, making her pursue. "You trust Leia more than anything. Even when she was criticized. Have you talked to her about this?"
"Have you ignored the fact that he's killed hundreds of people? Of Jedi!?" Poe hisses, alight with contempt. "I – I can't even believe I have to be explaining this to you – you've told me how many times you wanted to kill him?!"
Panicked, Rey sends a cursory glance in Ben's direction. Still kneeling, watched over by all the Resistance men, Ben glowers at her like she is the only thing in the room. He probably can hear everything.
"I know what I said," Rey bites out, hating the ways she crosses her arms in obvious defense. "But Leia told you. She must have told you what happened."
"She's his mother," Poe begs her to understand. "Of course she'll believe that monster. My own parents would have sworn my innocence if I - "
"What, if you killed hundreds of people?" Rey challenges. "This is….this is different."
Poe shakes his head. "Of course it's different. They are Skywalkers," he reasons, speaking the name for the first time like it is a curse and not some greater symbol.
It's as if closing her eyes and growling provides the only form of relief. She needs to get the upper hand. "Kriff's sake, Poe, I'm a Jedi. I understand a little more – "
"You're my friend!" Poe Dameron's voice finally breaks, a hollow tear in the near-quiet around them that makes Rey want to reach out and say, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." But she can't. Her arms are as stained in blood – Poe's blood – as Kylo Ren's, as Ben's. It's why she keeps them so close to herself.
Rey can feel Ben gently prodding at the exclamation, to see if she's all right. Instinctively she pushes away at him, refusing to acknowledge his presence. If only he just didn't exist right now.
The pilot has to cup his face, hiding his eyes from the noble woman he thought he knew a moment ago. "I knew him, Rey," Poe says in a pained voice. "I knew him when we were kids. He…" Poe shakes his head, trying so hard, lost in his own desperation to read Rey's mind and heart, the strange goings-on in the universe in which he, a boy of ten, met and played with the long-limbed, sensitive boy whose parents Poe had impersonated in child games.
"You…you think this is all easy for me?" Rey whispers through clenched teeth, determined to not appear stressed. "You think that I don't feel sick to my stomach? Knowing that…" she's so angry suddenly. "I haven't forgotten what he did to Finn, and to other Jedi, and to you," she utters. "I just – "
"Oh, my kriff," Poe groans. "You – you want him, don't you? Are you in love with him or something?"
Rey goes stiff with horror. "I am NOT – "
"Yes, you are!" he hisses. "No one in their right mind would protect someone so evil, Rey. Every time you go out to fight him, you never talk about it. What has he done to you?"
"Don't talk about things you don't know!" Rey bites back, scowling. She's disgusted with herself. Poe's voicing every thought she's been afraid to confront, only he does it with such vigor it'll make her disintegrate.
"Excuse me."
Ben's manifested in front of them without a sound, hands still handcuffed behind his back. He has this tight, expectant look under the bruises that Rey can easily read through, if she wasn't so wound up and sweating.
If only he could just shut up and go away.