It was approaching 10 o'clock and Connie was nervously sat in the waiting room upstairs. She couldn't concentrate on anything and she felt sick. So many thoughts flooded her head that it was beginning to ache before someone sitting down next to her bought her back into the present.
"Cal what are you doing up here?" He looked across at her before moving an arm around her shoulders. "Didn't think I'd let you go through this on your own did you?" Connie smiled as a tear escaped her eye. "Hey, don't cry I love you okay." He placed a hand to her cheek and wiped away the tear before hugging her properly.
What felt like hours to Connie was only a few minutes. "Ms Chase?" Cal was pretty oblivious before Connie stood up. She noticed him turn to speak to her but she cut him off. "I'll explain later" she nodded trying to reassure him before they stepped into the room and she lifted herself onto the bed.
"Okay Connie, have you had any aches or pains recently?" She gritted her teeth before looking away from Cal whose eyes were focused on her. "Not really-" "What do you mean?" Connie sighed before turning to the nurse. "I've been feeling really tired and everything's been aching just generally… I've had a few strange pains but nothing I haven't had before." The nurse nodded writing something down before speaking again. "And any bleeding at all?"
This time Cal knew something was wrong as she didn't answer or even look towards either of them. "Con?" She moved her hand from under Cal's as she looked to the far wall. He could see her trying to keep everything bottled up and he panicked. "Last week, before I called there was something but I thought it would be fine…"
Cal stood up and turned towards the door with his arms crossed against his chest not sure why she hadn't said anything. "I know it happens and just thought it would be fine but it got worse that's why I phoned. I didn't know what to do I just wanted to ignore it, I couldn't think about possibly losing this baby, not again." He turned back to face Connie who had realised she'd said too much already. "Again?" The nurse spoke up at this point ignoring what was inevitably going to happen.
"Right Connie I need you to roll your top up for me. I'm going to take a look and then run a few other tests okay?" She nodded moving her top ensuring she didn't look towards Cal who was still standing by the door but looking to her, to their baby.
Everything was silent in the room for a while. Connie stared at the wall to her side sure that she'd lost this baby and that Cal wouldn't be far behind either. "Okay, well I can say congratulations to you both now…" "What?" Connie's head turned to look at the nurse just as she faced the screen to them. There she could make out the tiny features of her baby moving about. "They're okay?" There was a smile from the nurse who looked towards Connie then to Cal. "Everything looks fine, I still want to run some tests though."
"Do you want to hear them?" They didn't need to answer, she knew they'd want to. She picked up another piece of equipment placing it to Connie's still flat stomach before the room was filled with a slow and gentle thrumming noise. Cal was beside Connie again, his eyes resting on the screen of his baby, their baby.
Cal seemed in a trance, eyes never moving from the screen while Connie spoke to the nurse. "I want to take some bloods, and urine sample just to be on the safe side. The heartbeat is a little slow, so we'll monitor it but I think everything is going to be fine. I'm just going to run these out and I'll get some pictures of your little one for you. I'll be right back."
Cal finally returned to the room when he heard Connie crying. "Come here…" he leant forward and wrapped his arms around his wife, hating the sound of her crying. "I thought I'd screwed everything up again, I thought you'd hate me for it that's why I didn't tell you-" "How could I ever hate you Connie Beauchamp, Chase, Knight whatever the hell you want me to call you!" She laughed a little against his chest as she sat back up.
"I need to know, what did you mean by again? Last time, you lost it because of a fall so why'd you say it like it was your fault?" She knew he'd ask, it was her own fault. "It's not the only time-" "Con, I'm so sorry I never knew you'd been pregnant after Grace besides that. Was it Sam?" She shook her head and looked down at her lap hating herself for what she was about to say.
"Don't tell me is there someone you're hiding away from me-" "It was yours, Cal." All joking seemed to evaporate from the room and a serious expression fell to his face. "Mine?" Connie sat back on the bed and looked away from him as a tear rolled down her cheek.
Cal couldn't believe she'd never told him. "It was before things had really gotten serious with us. I found out when I was already 10 weeks pregnant and I couldn't believe it. I had Grace back, I sort of had you and we were having a baby, I had everything. I made an appointment to get everything checked and it was fine, I was going to tell you that weekend. Had everything planned…" Cal watched as tears came to Connie's eyes while she spoke.
"I felt sick one morning at work so I rushed to the toilet. I thought that it was just morning sickness, hell I was used to that so I ignored it. Left it and it didn't go away. Charlie found me in my office later that day, made me get checked over but I knew what it was. I knew I'd lost it and I was so scared. I wanted to tell you but I couldn't lose you too, I couldn't. That's why when I fell the second time I distanced myself from you... I'd taken a child from you twice how could you seriously love someone who'd done that?"
Cal watched as the woman he loved fell apart in front of him. He couldn't believe she hadn't said anything because she thought he'd leave her, blame her for what happened. Cal stood up and moved as close to Connie as he could pulling her into his chest as she began to cry harder. "I'm so sorry Cal-" "You don't need to be sorry, it wasn't your fault."
"But I ignored everything, maybe it would have been okay otherwise. That's why they called me Chase earlier, I gave them that name so that nobody else in the hospital would know it was me up here." Cal sighed pulling her closer again. "How did I not know-" "We weren't together Cal, we had sex and that was it. We didn't spend a lot of time together then so how were you to know?"
They were interrupted by the nurse who smiled passing over a little booklet containing the pictures for them. "I've made you another appointment for two weeks time, if anything changes in that time or you're worried then give me a call and we'll check everything for you Ms Chase." Connie nodded taking the things from the nurse before leaving with Cal.
Neither spoke until they were sitting on the wall outside the ED. "You said you were 10 weeks when… So you-" "Yes. I went in upstairs, that's why I had a couple of days away from the ED. The only person who knew was Charlie." Cal looked across the car park, he would have been a father. "I best go-" "Con…" Cal held onto her hand as she went to walk away.
"Please believe me when I tell you I love you and that I don't blame you for any of this. I don't want you to think about that all the time, focus on us now hey? We're married and we are having a baby." He placed his hand on her stomach and a small smile crept onto her face before he gently kissed her. "I'll see you when I get home later, I love you-" "I love you too." Cal wandered back into the department while Connie stayed outside for a few minutes before making her way home.