Author's Note: Again this was written by my amazing fiance Daniella and if you're not already you should follow her on tumblr at bananabus-squadgoals. I love you guys, thank you for reading.

Spider

A scream startled Evan from his sleep, pitch and tone letting him know that something was horribly wrong. He wrenched himself from bed, tearing out of the room and to the source of his panic. The scream had come from the bathroom, so naturally, Evan burst into the room ready to defend his boyfriend from the murderer that was so obviously trying to kill him. He didn't find a murderer however; just his silly boyfriend standing on top of the toilet with a panicked expression.

"Close the door! Before it escapes!" Jonathan yelled.

"Before what escapes?" Evan asked, annoyed that he'd been woken up so brutally for no apparent reason. Jonathan growled before yanking Evan up to stand beside him. There was barely any room, and Evan had to hold tightly to Jonathan to keep from falling off of the seat.

"What is wrong with you?" Evan asked as he looked down at his boyfriend.

"There's a spider the size of your head right there in the corner." Jonathan said, pointing at the offending creature.

The spider in question was large, but not nearly as big as Jonathan was saying. It was a wolf spider, common in North Carolina.

"You big baby." Evan said affectionately. "Do you need me to kill it for you?"

"It's gonna eat you!" Jonathan shouted. "We have to move! Burn the apartment down and move far away."

Evan rolled his eyes, and stepped down, wrestling out of Jonathan's grip. "You're so dramatic."

Evan rolled up some toilet paper and squatted down to squash the creature. Jonathan gasped. "See? All done. Get down so I can flush this thing." Evan said, holding out the wad. Jonathan danced away from it, landing in the bathtub gracefully. Evan laughed and opened the toilet seat to drop the paper in. He flushed the toilet before standing and raising his eyebrows at his sheepish boyfriend.

"Okay, that was kinda dramatic." Jonathan admitted.

"You think? I thought you were being stabbed."

Jonathan laughed. "And if I was? Were you going to kill the guy with your dick?"

Evan looked down, forgetting in the excitement that he was bare ass naked. In retaliation, Evan reached over and turned on the shower, drenching Jonathan with ice cold water. The man screamed, before jumping out and colliding with Evan, both of them crashing to the floor. "Ow…" Evan moaned.

"Hey…so I'm wet, you're now wet. Hell, you're already naked; let's move this to the shower." Jonathan nuzzled his neck.

"I was sleeping."

"You're not anymore." And Evan really couldn't argue with that logic.