Royal Love
Sabo is glad he's indoors, behind the glass that currently shields him from the snowstorm raging outside. It's a bit early for this time of the year, but he never minded the white blanket that covers the earth in a cold and gentle embrace.
Luffy will enjoy it, at least.
The man glances over his shoulder to the boy who's still asleep under the warmth of the blanket.
He can only imagine Luffy's reaction; a smile, and matching eyes that glimmer upon the beautiful sight of snowflakes falling down.
The small smile that came with the sweet thought fades, and Sabo turns around to watch the scenery before him that looks like it came straight from a picture book. The man exhales audible, damping the window as he crosses his arms, eyes wandering over the town as his thoughts drift back to the boy lying in his bed.
The attempt to think of anything but Luffy was futile. It was nothing new, but for the first time did it bother him, taking last night's interaction into consideration.
He casts his eyes downwards, staring at the thick snowflakes that stick to the window.
Corazon passed his message, and Sabo watched Luffy shaking his head to the question. The princess didn't want to speak to him.
Sabo had trouble keeping his eyes on the soon to be wedded couple. He couldn't stand how Law's fingers tangled in the teen's hair and the man felt his blood rush when he saw Luffy smiling, softly laughing as he laid his eyes on the sky above them, watching the stars as they used to do so many times before.
The blond had wanted to walk over, to confront Luffy and for Law to back the hell off. Sabo felt betrayed, but as soon as realisation came, he wondered if he could consider the feeling valid. Luffy wasn't his, and yet, they both believed they belonged to each other.
Last night he had turned away, with all of his power, the man walked the opposite direction and as he created more distance, he felt like he was making a big mistake. Or rather, Sabo felt like Luffy was about to make a big mistake.
The anger that had already flowed through his veins multiplied as he thought about them, laying outside, the possibility of them laying like that in bed. However Sabo wasn't sure if the anger was directed towards Law who threw him meaningful glances and smirked oftentimes too smugly.
Or was Luffy the source of his frustration that causes him to feel so deeply. He loves the boy's innocence, though he knows better, it is something he adores about Luffy. However now, the personality trait couldn't be more inconvenient.
Law is up to something, and Sabo tries to convince himself it isn't jealousy that makes his mind wander towards a dangerous path... he won't let simple, uncalled-for jealousy get in his way.
A soft groan snaps him out of his daze as his sight sharpens, seeing that the snowflake melted into a droplet, trailing its way down.
The man peeks over his shoulder, and his heart lightens when he sees that the boy is still sound asleep, now lying on his back with one hand above his head.
Deep down Sabo realises he dreads the moment Luffy will wake up. If possible, he would like to avoid the conversation that will follow. He's certain Luffy wouldn't mind that either.
Mentally he prepares himself. More than once did they ignore and avoid these types of talks altogether. In the end, maybe that's what caused this, what looked like, a sudden outburst within himself.
This time they will have their talk, and the princess won't be able to slip through this again, pretending it hadn't happened.
He can't forgive Luffy so easily.
Not this time.
Knuckles that impatiently meet the wood of his door snaps Sabo out of his daze again. These days his head is elsewhere, longing for the times he misses back home. He sighs loudly and makes his way over, the other person's persistent knocking putting him on edge.
As the blond opens the door, his glare is already set on the person on the other end, on the one that dared to almost wake Luffy up from his slumber. His frown only deepens when he's faced with Law. The guard crosses his arms and leans against the door frame, shielding Luffy from the other man's curious eyes.
Something he annoyed all along.
"What happened to Luffy?" The question comes instantly, his tone challenging and biting, expression hard and cold.
Sabo is close to losing it and the small, barely noticeable grin on Law'a face is almost enough to push Sabo over the edge and losing any kind of self restraint he had.
"Is he here?" Law mimics his stance as he crosses his arms and leans against the door frame.
Sabo feels his patience running thin within a matter of seconds.
"What did you do to him?" Sabo interjects once more, glaring and not receiving an answer. He unfolds his arms, standing tall and looking down upon the prince. "If I find out you hurt Lu-"
"You're quick to assume, Sabo." Law abruptly interrupts, and the warning when mentioning his name doesn't go unnoticed. The blond swallows any other words of accusation that might slip his throat. "It appears that Luffy could not bring it up to tell you himself." The prince replies as Sabo's eyes shift down to his lips, not missing his smirk, the man looking so pleased with himself.
The uneasy feeling crawling over him makes Sabo want to forcefully pull the answers out of him.
"Anyway," The man starts on a lighter tone. "I need to talk to Luffy."
"I'll pass your message." Sabo offers, though both know there is no room for arguing. He won't let Law take Luffy away from him now- not until the boy explained what happened, until they've had their dreaded talk.
Mockingly, Law slaps his palm against his cheek. "That is no way to talk to a prince." He says, and Sabo feels that he's losing his composure quickly at that. "You might want to be careful with your words." The man warns, smiling darkly.
Abruptly the prince turns, leaving the other man behind, oblivious to the rage growing within the guard.
The blond inhales deeply. Shaky. He's trained for this, he can't let the prince get to him- something the man has been trying ever since he arrived here. By then he must've dismissed it as unimportant, however Luffy also didn't fail to notice. The princess had warned him before and Sabo, as subtle as he could, warned Law with glances now and then. But he can feel the man has changed. He can't pinpoint when it occurred to him, but Law has grown bolder, more daring- now not hiding the fact he's trying to pull something out of Sabo.
His provoking words are working. Sabo tries to hide what it does to him; the doubt growing within him, the anger and restlessness, but he can't hide these feelings from himself. As much as he tries to appear calm, for Luffy's sake and not giving the prince satisfaction of succession, each day his resolve weakens. Law's presence has become like poison in his mind, something he himself might be to blame to.
He's always thinking, overthinking and causing himself unneeded stress. Concerning Luffy's safety though, such a thing as overthinking didn't exist.
The guard is about to walk back into the bedroom when he hears Law talk, and his hand freezes on the door handle.
"Luffy's guard can easily be replaced."
Sabo's hand loosens before he clenches it tightly, trying so hard to let the threat silently pass. It's like another burden dropped onto his shoulders that by now barely manage to hold onto it's weight.
A shaky breath leaves his mouth as he leans his forehead against the door.
Is he really this powerless? After all that he has done... Someone renders him defenseless. For the first time Sabo feels vulnerable.
It's his job to protect Luffy, but they're not letting him. It feels as if Luffy isn't letting him. The person he loves most...
Sabo wants to make a move against Law, but one wrong move will mean the end of his time here with Luffy.
He can't sit still yet he's forced to.
The man inhales deeply before he walks back into his room, surprised to see Luffy sitting up straight in bed and silently watching the scenery outside.
Sabo leans against the door, rubbing his face tiredly. "What did you hear?" He asks, hoping Luffy didn't catch anything of their conversation.
Luffy shrugs. "Not much." The boy pulls his knees to his body, letting the blanket slide away. "Why was Law here?" He looks up to his guard who instantly averts his eyes.
"He wants to talk to you." Sabo looks down to the floor, avoiding Luffy's eyes and trying to not let the boy's eyes influence his next words. "But first we need to talk."
From the corner of his eyes he sees the teen nodding in understanding.
"Do you remember?" He starts.
Silence stretches for seconds, and with each tick of the clock an undeniable tension grows between them.
"Remember what?" Luffy asks softly, though that for itself would be the answer.
"Our fight, Luffy." Sabo says agitated, causing Luffy to frown.
The teen nods, eyes slowly darting upwards to look at Sabo who is still facing the wooden floor. "A bit." He admits. Luffy can't remember the other's exact words. All he knows is that it had hurt... Sabo had hurt him.
"Do you understand why I was angry?" The man lifts his gaze to look outside as Luffy stares at him.
"Still are." The princess mumbles while thinking of a reason that could anger Sabo to this extent.
Why does he feel so distant? He's here, in the same room... yet Luffy never felt further away from Sabo.
"Yes! I'm still angry!" The man's raised voice shocks him, and Luffy quickly faces the sheets. "I'm not playing games, Luffy." Sabo says more tiredly than anything else.
Sabo sighs, running a hand through his curly and tangled locks as Luffy looks up to take a peek. Only then he notes his unusual deep frown, the darker color under his eyes and slightly wilder hair.
"Can you explain why I'm angry?"
The princesses eyes dart back to his fidgeting fingers. "B-because I drank and I got too close to Law." The princess mutters softly, finding no strength to speak loudly. Fortunately Sabo doesn't comment on it.
"Look at me." The man demands, and Luffy slowly does, finding difficulty in doing so. Sabo walks a few steps closer to the bed. "You think I'd get so angry over you staying close to Law like I told you in the first place? Look at me Luffy!"
"If not, then I don't know!" The teen throws his hands up in defeat. "I don't know. I don't know alright! Sorry I'm so dumb! So please just tell me Sabo!" Luffy's voice creaks, desperate.
He wants to get this over with as soon as possible. He can't stand Sabo being angry at him like this...
The guard's expression changes for a second, before its back to the frown on his face.
"I said you didn't make smart decisions, not that you're not smart."
Luffy shakes his head. "What does it matter..." He shrugs, not wanting Sabo to repeat the hurtful words from last night. Luffy is afraid the memories will come flooding back, aching his heart even more. "Just please tell me."
"I think highly of you Luffy." Sabo sighs. "I love you, but what do you want from me?" The blond lets the question hang in the air. Swiftly, their eyes meet, and in that moment both are convinced they'll do anything to make this right. That is, until more questions start to arise. "After last night I don't know." Luffy sees the other's eyes clouded with confusion. "You ask so much of me, and I'm willing to give you my all. But I can't do it like this, Luffy. I just... I can't." The man hides his face in his hand as he rubs his temple.
Luffy wants to walk over and close his arms around the man in an embrace. He feels guilty. Sabo is this angry, and the man doesn't even know the full truth of what happened last night. Something freezes the teen on the spot. He can't move. He can't speak. All Luffy does is stare at Sabo who looks so worn from emotions and burdens that are most likely chaining him down.
"I am angry with you because we were supposed to escape together yesterday. Something I couldn't do with you being drunk." Sabo looks towards him between his parted fingers. "Do you remember now? Do you even want to leave here with me?" The last question is filled with dubiousness, and Luffy is shocked that the man dares to doubt it.
What is Sabo implying?
The younger stands up from the bed, leaning against the wall opposite of Sabo. His throat feels swollen, like someone stepped on it, kicking it until his voice is nothing more than a whisper. Everything that kept him sane is fading. Sabo... It feels like he's losing him. Luffy knows he himself is to blame.
Foolish, how Sabo always called him endearingly, but it held greater meaning. He really is an idiot, isn't he?
"I'm sorry." He whispers as his eyes start to drip with salty tears that fall from his chin, hitting the floor soundlessly. "I... I j-just... I'm sorry. Sabo I didn't realize..."
"You didn't answer my question." The man replies, seemingly unaffected by Luffy's words.
"I don't want to lose you, Sabo." The princess forces himself to walk towards the man whose eyes hold no glimmer of emotion. "I thought about it..." Luffy takes a deep breath, not daring to look Sabo in his eyes as he speaks. "Can't we maybe let things be? We could still be together and-"
"You want to stay here and marry Law, is that what you're saying?"
The boy is taken aback by his boldness. "Don't put it like that! You know that's not it... I'm thinking of you too. I've thought it through and maybe it's best for both of us to stay here-"
"Oh, what, now you've suddenly decided to think things through?! And only now you selfishly decide to stay here?!"
"Then what am I supposed to do?!" He shouts back. "What if we get caught? I'll never see you again..." Luffy hesitantly reaches out, cupping Sabo's cheek, but as soon as their skin makes contact the man slaps his hand away.
"Is there anything else you need to tell me?" The blond stands with crossed arms, pressing his fingers into his own biceps. "Well?" He adds impatient, but Luffy knows Sabo is trying his best to stay calm. "Perhaps the reason why you came running to my door in the middle of the night."
Luffy looks to the side, not able to stand this newfound side of Sabo.
He doesn't know him like this...
And now that it has come to the topic he dreaded most, for a split second Luffy thinks about lying. But he knows he won't be able to, he doesn't want to, and Sabo would know immediately. Mentally he tries different ways of explaining what happened, how he was still influenced, how he didn't see it coming- but those are mere excuses. Law kissed him and Luffy vividly remembers how he didn't pull away, how he closed his eyes for a second until he could wrap his mind around it again.
"Last night when we went back to the room," Luffy whispers, and Sabo frowns when the boy uses we. "I lied in the same bed as him." The teen frowns hearing himself speak, forcing the words from his throat and out into the world. The boy looks up, watching Sabo who's staring him straight in the eyes, not letting any kind of emotion show on the surface. Luffy feels his hands tremble and throat tightening. "Law kissed me." He breathes out nervously. "I... I pushed him away. And I didn't know what to do, so I came to you." Luffy feels his chest swell painfully. Sabo's expression didn't change.
Luffy expected some sort of outburst, whether in anger, betrayal or confusion, he didn't know.
He does realize he can't stand the other's silence.
"I know you warned me and I didn't listen and I'm so sorry Sabo. I..." The boy blinks through his tears, seeing Sabo turn around. "No, wait!"
"Did you want to kiss him?"
Luffy blinks, not sure he heard it right, but the more he thinks of the question, the more desperate he feels to prove Sabo otherwise.
"Do you think I... that I would betray you like that?! Do you even trust me?"
They need to talk for however long it takes until this matter is solved. Otherwise... Luffy feels like he'll lose him for good.
"What... do you want from me Luffy?"
"Please..." He mutters, tightening his arms around himself. Forgive me.
Love me.
Stay with me forever.
It's what Luffy wanted to say, no matter how selfish it is. But he can't find the strength to talk...
Even if he could, Sabo doesn't wait around to hear it. As the man walks away and looks over his shoulder, Luffy feels utterly defeated.
Even so, the boy refuses to look away, though he feels so small as blue eyes stare back at him. Luffy searches them for any flicker of emotion. The love Sabo held for him, but there's nothing there.
Is it just his blurry vision?
"Sabo." He creaks, feeling his throat swell as he speaks.
The younger feels his legs tremble beneath him. His body starts shaking, and he's afraid he might cave in any second.
His hand covers his mouth, trying to stifle and hide his growing sobs from his guard, knowing it's an futile attempt. He can feel the muscles of his chin quiver as he watches Sabo through his now watery eyes, his vision a blur of the man before him.
"Law wanted to talk to you but, I'll be talking to him first."
The sound of the door closing is all it takes. Just like that, the tears spill from his eyes like there's no end to them as his thick lashes stick together.
In the back of his mind Luffy hopes Sabo is still at the other side of the door, hearing his cries.
He secretly hopes that the man, like last night, will open the door and rescue him.
Save me from the nightmare of losing you.
Dull eyes stare at his hands that lie between his legs on the floor.
His cheeks burn, the salty tears leaving an itching sensation across his cheeks.
Luffy is at a loss. He doesn't know how he can make it up to the man.
What would Sabo do?
The man wouldn't let Luffy walk out of the room without a proper explanation. He'd talk and talk until there was nothing left to say. Sabo would assure Luffy he is the one and only.
And what did he do? Luffy apologised, weakly, scared of the other's reaction. He let Sabo slip through his fingers, letting the man walk out of the room.
Luffy didn't took his chance to say what was on his mind. His thoughts were misinterpreted, he let Sabo's mind roam in dangerous territories.
Why didn't he explain...?
No... instead Luffy proposed to stay here. Did he really believe Sabo could accept that?
Who is he deceiving?
The man saw right through him.
'You want to stay here and marry Law.'
Luffy isn't sure what he was thinking. What he should be thinking.
He wants Sabo to be safe and next to him, yet he wants to leave this place and see his family... However each wish has it's obstacles. He can't have it all.
The idea sparked when the prince asked if Luffy wanted to visit his family. The idea of him and Sabo arriving home, together, is something he'd do anything for. Even if it meant marrying Law...
Luffy realizes now, he was only thinking of his own comfort. It doesn't work like that, and... Luffy must've really hurt Sabo even considering it an option. The man would never accept it, yet he was egotistical enough to. Luffy can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to stand beside Sabo everyday, knowing he would get married to someone other than himself.
After all of the trouble of coming up with a plan, the courage to rebel against his family and take the princess away... After all that Sabo did...
"Argh! why am I so stupid!" He shouts, slamming his fist to the stone wall out of sheer frustration, to his own insensitive and inconsiderate thoughts he dared to voice out loud and hurting Sabo.
Pain bursts through his knuckles as the skin tears open due to the impact. But It's nothing compared to how he feels, how Sabo must be feeling. Annoyed with himself the boy leans his forehead against the wall as a shaky breath follows.
Luffy feels desperate.
He should follow Sabo. He can't let the man walk around any longer knowing Luffy kissed- or has been kissed, thinking he's willing to stay here rather than leaving with him.
Luffy knows he wants to be with Sabo... even if that means it'll be a while before he sees his family again- if ever at all.
Having found strength within his new resolve, Luffy decides to go after his guard. He looks around the room, trying find something to wear. Luffy rummages through the closet, picking up one of Sabo's shirts and putting it on as he rushes out of the room. The piece of clothing is long enough to reach his upper thighs, hiding anything he doesn't want others to see.
Barefooted he runs, already out of breath.
The boy looks around the hallways that he grew familiar during his short time here. Where would Sabo go? Where would Law be? Anxiously Luffy bites his lip as he turns the corner and heads for the main room. Just when he looks up, his gaze falls onto the blond in time to see Sabo disappearing behind the door.
As Sabo opens the door his eyes immediately fall on the prince, and by now it is nearly impossible to keep his composure. Not after he heard Luffy explain what had happened. The man's earlier taunts and mocking smile finally make sense, and Sabo is ready to wipe it from his face.
"You wanted to talk." He says, catching everyone's attention in the spacious room.
The king looks away from his conversation, raising a brow at the guard.
Law slowly turns, a grin plastered on his lips and Corazon who sits beside him noticeably avoids looking Sabo in the eye.
"Why don't we go to a quieter place?"
Law walks past the guard out of the door as Sabo follows suit, shutting it behind his back.
Only two words manage to leave Law's lips.
Sabo can't stand looking at them.
He who kissed Luffy.
"Did Luffy-"
Time seems to stop for the princess, he freezes onto his spot as he sees Sabo bawl his fist, pulling back and slamming it against the prince's face.
Law slams against the wall, trying to keep himself upright, and Luffy doesn't fail to notice the red streak dripping from the corner of this mouth. Nevertheless, the man smiles. From a safe distance Luffy watches them confused.
"Sabo, what are you doing?" Luffy asks softly, knowing he won't be heard by either of them.
His guard lifts Law from the ground as he pulls him up by his blouse, roughly pushing him against the wall.
Luffy has never seen the man like this, so out of control, angered...
What did Law do, to enrage him like this? What happened between them?
"Touch Luffy ever again without his consent and I'll personally make you pay. Is that clear?" Sabo's clenches his fist, nearly ripping the expensive material in two.
Law's smile only grows, causing an uneasy feeling in the pit of the boy's stomach, and in Sabo's, causing one of rage.
"I told you, that's no way to talk to a prince."
The blonde's hand wraps around the prince's throat, fingers digging deep into his flesh. "Don't think my warning doesn't count when I'm not around."
"It seems like you know your place." Law says amused as his eyes shift behind the blond. Slowly Sabo let's go of him, feeling a sharp blade pressed against his neck in warning.
The guard lifts his hands, surrendering to Corazon who stands behind him.
"Corazon step away!" Luffy shouts, startling the three as the youngest runs towards them. Reluctantly the guards steps back as soon as he receives a nod from the prince.
Luffy crashes into Sabo, eyes watery and hands shaking. The teen looks up, licking his thumb and wiping the blood from the shallow cut in his neck.
"Are you alright?" He asks worried, letting the man go to give them both space.
Luffy throws Corazon a glare but the guard simply looks away. "Step back." He orders, and the man has no choice but to obey the princess, retreating his weapon.
"Don't meddle Luffy. I'm alright." Sabo says as he turns, walking past him.
"Wait! Sabo I still need to talk-"
"It's no use Luffy." Law says, wiping the blood from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. "He decided to leave. Isn't that right?"
"Leave? What do you mean?" Luffy switches glances between the prince and his guard who has his back turned to him. "Sabo?" Luffy calls out as he walks towards the man.
He tries to turn him around, but he stands unmoving, so Luffy walks to stands before him. "Can we talk? Please?" When he doesn't receive a reply Luffy feels his stomach twist, Law's words disturbing his mind. "Why aren't you saying anything?" Blue eyes avoid his deep brown and Luffy sighs softly, deciding to talk here, just out of earshot from the others.
"You don't need to say anything..." He starts, shifting his weight from one leg to the other nervously. "But please listen to me, okay?" He asks, looking up but receiving no kind of acknowledgement. He sighs again. "I'm sorry about what I said, Sabo. I didn't mean it, and I didn't think it through. Actually I didn't think about it at all." He confesses, hating how immature it sounds. "I've told you before, right? On that night... I only want to be with you." His voice is softer than a whisper.
"I would give everything up to be with you. It was stupid to think I could have it all. I guess I was just desperate.. and naive..." Luffy tangles his fingers into Sabo's shirt he's wearing, finding some kind of comfort of having it surrounding his skin. "And I know I don't make smart decisions, but you always help me on the way, you keep believing in me." Luffy smiles genuinely, memories flashing before his eyes. "I need you. I need you in my life as my guard and..." Luffy wraps his arms around the man. "I need you because I love you. More than anyone." He whispers, feeling tears burn behind his eyes.
"I'm sorry Sabo. For getting drunk, for not listening to you. I'm sorry for being selfish all the time and demanding so much from you. I'm sorry that I'm not the smartest around. I'm grateful you're sticking with me... I love you. I love you so much Sabo and I'm so, so sorry. Please... forgive me."
Luffy lets out the breath he was holding, feeling relieved that he finally got a fraction of the words he wanted to say off his chest.
Even though has so much more to say, all will come in time.
Luffy clings onto that thought, not realizing he's deceiving himself. Because, still unaware, that time might never come.
Review? ^^