Delfim: HEY HEY HEY! THE CRAZIEST THING SINCE DEADPOOL, DELFIM THE BLACK KITSUNE IS HERE!
Laurelene: What's gotten into you? You are far too energetic.
Ego: Dude, are you on drugs?
Lust: Got shagged/fucked/raped to blissful unconsciousness?
Delfim: Better, oh lord so much better. I just passed anatomy! I made her my bitch and kicked her ass! AHAHAHAH!
Laurelene: Congratulations!
Ego: PARTY!
Delfim: Damn straight! But before we can get ourselves so drunk we will regret in the morning, I have a few announcements for my fans.
Lust is already drunk and screaming for more.
Delfim: So let's start with the announcements.
Number 1: the Harry Potter fanfiction is going to be made first simply because it's a new thing for me. But rest assured, I will have the new Naruto fanfic ready once I finish some of my other fanfics.
Ego: I still can't see how you are going to do a charismatic Sasuke.
Delfim: Number 2: While I will keep writing, I may not always be able to post. So if you don't see a new post in a while, expect a chapter shower.
Laurelene: Filled with the all familiar Delfim's touch.
Lust: I know I could go for some of that…
Delfim: …incest… why not… Number 3: I will complete all my stories, I just ask for patience.
Laurelene: That is it?
Delfim: Well if I just leave it like that, it would be worthless. So I decided to do something extra. An OMAKE of my own! I hope to not offend anyone, this is purely for comedic purposes.
Lust swaggers and falls unconscious.
Delfim: This was based on the Youtube Death Battles! I hope you enjoy it.
OMAKE DEATH BATTLE
Laurelene: For many years, we have seen all kinds of art and artists.
Ego: But when two different styles and people clash, a DEATH BATTLE is unavoidable.
Laurelene: Like when you join Justin Bieber, the guy everyone loves to hate.
Ego: And Delfim, Fanfiction writer.
Laurelene: He's Ego and I am Laurelene.
Ego: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, skills and whatever else they might have in order to determine who would win a DEATH BATTLE.
DEATH BATTLE
Ego: Delfim is a 21 year old fanfiction writer, having completed two stories and having four yet to finish with bunch of other ideas in his mind.
Laurelene: he is an original guy who tries to think outside the cube!
Ego: Isn't it box?
Laurelene: No, box is two dimensional, he is going 3d!
Ego: While being a writer doesn't mean that Delfim is not a sports guy. Fighting with a passion but with no appropriate style of his own, Delfim is a fighter of instinct and quick moves.
Laurelene: This guy as no problem kneeing a guy in the balls… twice! Not only that, but he trains his strength everyday!
Ego: Quite truth! Delfim can easily break noses and jaws with his fists.
Laurelene: And wield almost any weapon. Delfim has a preference for pocket knives, but he isn't above using revolvers, snipers, bow and arrow…
Ego: Bow and arrow?
Laurelene: A hobby. Among many other weapons.
Ego: Not only that, but he can quickly adapt to any weapon he can get his hands on.
Laurelene: But Delfim's greatest attribute is something we call the Adrenaline Rush!
Ego: As long as Delfim's Adrenaline is high, Delfim feels no pain at all. You could stab him in the shoulder and Delfim wouldn't even grimace, continuing to fight even with a limp arm.
Laurelene: However, this does not mean he is invulnerable, as he can still fell the effects like muscles moving slower…
Ego: Limping arm…
Laurelene: And lack of blood. However, this means that he will only stop when he is really dead.
Ego: But Delfim is not god on earth, he does have some weaknesses.
Laurelene: Delfim has low stamina and can't handle heat.
Ego: He has vertigo though considering we will be fighting on the ground, this won't be a problem.
Laurelene: And finally, while being able to drive to some degree and having some experience in making a car work without a key, Delfim was not able to get his driving license.
Ego: His biggest problem being that he was too impatient with the car and often ran a straight line rather than making the curve.
Laurelene: Disaster.
Ego: Quite.
Laurelene: A curiosity about him, Delfim was once a fan of Bieber.
Ego: What?
Laurelene: When Bieber was younger, he had a youtube channel where he played different music.
Ego: Back then, the style was ballads and romantic classic songs which was cute when played by a kid whoseguitar was bigger than he was.
Laurelene: But then Bieber had to go and become what he became, and now Delfim must kill him. And now a quote from Delfim.
Delfim: If you aren't man enough to be yourself, then you have no right to judge me!
DEATH BATTLE
Ego: As we said before, Justin Bieber is a singer that started on youtube, and went worldwide, before he turned to what he is now.
Laurelene: An androgynous bastard? Wasn't Tokyo Hotel enough?
Ego: He was discovered by accident and after being apprenticed by Usher Rayman the 4th he became the young pop sensation he is today.
Laurelene: Why? Why is he so popular?
Ego: Now now, let's keep neutral ground here Laurelene. His video Baby is the most viewed video on youtube.
Laurelene: but why? He is just singing auto tunes repeating baby over and over!
Ego: His premature fan led to the creation of lunch boxes, t-shirts, pillows. I mean there isn't even a Delfim's t-shirt.
Laurelene: No but you won't see Delfim's name on a perfume that is shaped like a vagina. But Justin Bieber…
Ego: You think that is weird? A lock of his hair once sold for more than 40 thousand dollards.
Laurelene: Not even furry lovers would pay so much for a bit of hair! Such a huge waste of money!
Ego: Unless they want to clone him.
Laurelene: No! NOOOOOOO! THAT IS EVEN WORSE! No more musical abominations like this one!
Ego: His fans all over the world are really devoted to him. The most devoted call themselves the Beliebers.
Laurelene: What? BELIEBERS? That is the dummest thing I have ever heard!
Ego: Half young girls and half creppy older woman, with some cases being mental institute escapes, they tend to have irrational behavior.
Laurelene: Like entering a mindless and deadly stampede, hurling bottles of water at the kid which, by the way whoever did it, traumatized him for life with a fear of thrown objects.
Ego: With all this erratic behavior Bieber created a more aggressive side, often threatening and using physical violence on paparazzi and fans.
Laurelene: And yet, he still puts this horrible shows.
Bieber: BABY, BABY BABY OHHHH!
Laurelene: SHOOT! SHOOT TO KILL!
DEATH BATTLE
Ego: Alright, the combatants are set, let's end this once and for all.
Laurelene: Since we are not sponsored, we will just say everyone, we fucking love you.
Ego: Hope Delfim survives this.
Lust: Just to warn, I put guns and stuff all over the place.
Ego and Laurelene: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
DEATH BATTLE
Delfim and Bieber stand in front of each other, in the middle of road filled with cars, a few weapons here and there and some hidden people who will appear later.
"You can still give up, kid. Don't want your rabid fangirls to create a tsunami with their tears." Mocked Delfim
"At least I have fangirls, you probably have 45 year old virgins has your readers."
"That is it, you must die!"
FIGHT!
Delfim gave him a punch in the face, braking his nose before kneeing him in the crotch twice. He then hurled Bieber head first away into the ground. "How is it hanging Bieber?"
Bieber, still bleeding from his mouth and a hand grabbing his destroyed privates, grabs a revolver from the floor and turns to fire with Delfim, who noticed the gun as Bieber went to pick it up, diving to safety behind a car as shots were heard.
Delfim looked and saw a grenade. He picked it and thought "At least this will distract him!" before he took the clavicle and threw it to Bieber's direction, not hitting the target but making him pale at the object being thrown at him. Bieber started to run away in fright, forcing him to stop shooting. Delfim rushes to Bieber, with a pipe he grabbed from the floor and hit him in the side of the face.
Bieber fell to the ground and rolled as Delfim tried to hit him on the floor. Bieber soon grabs a knife and stabs Delfim in the leg, who just hits Bieber on the arm and braks hit, making beiber cry like a little bitch.
Throwing the pipe away, Delfim grabbed the knife and pulled it out before he gave three quick strikes: one for each of Justin's knees and one in the shoulder of his undamaged arm, before twisting the last wound. Bieber than yelled out loud "GET HIM!"
Delfim looked up to see an enormous stampede of fangirls. "SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!" Delfim… tries to run away as the girls scream for blood, even as his leg his not helping. Soon however, not only was he getting tired but they were getting closer. Seeing an open convertible and smiles. "It's GO time!"
Delfim jumps inside and begins to tinker with the wires. (Note to all, I will not explain to you how it is done because I only done it once and it was in a friend's car who forgot the keys. I fixed it later and I will not let this piece of info fall on the wrong hands.) Soon, he was driving head first into the pile of girls. While using his knees to keep driving, Delfim saw something on one of the seats… a bomb. An inactive time bomb to be precise. "This needs a little more thinking." He then drives out of the pile and away from the group, driving to a safe spot before starting to gather as much stuff as he can.
"FIND HIM!" yelled Bieber from the ground. "QUICKLY! I NEED A DOCTOR!"
"I am a doctor!"
"No I AM a doctor!"
"We could all play doctor with you!"
Many squeals and screams echo through the place.
"Hey Bieber!" Everyone turns to see Delfim, still in the car. "I have something for you! It's called a roll over!"
Delfim then drived again into the group however before the car hit the fangirls he jumped out of the car and without stopping ran as fast away as possible. Inside the car was the bomb, the counter going for the 10 countdown and all around it were various degrees of pointy weapons, explosives and alcohol.
Delfim rushed behind a building and counted. " 1!"
BOOOOOOOOOOM! The entire fangirl patrol and Bieber were bombed and shredded to pieces by the explosion and the shards flying around. Three young singers, the Jonas Brothers, were just walking into the place to see what the commotion was all about and got his by different pointy things in the chest, eyes and dicks, immediate death.
One pointy knife went right into the sky. Delfim saw it go and wonder. "Where is that one going?"
A few miles away.
"And today, to sing for all of you, Miley Cyrus!"
Miley walks to the podium only to get a knife right through the head, making her die instantly.
MONSTER KILL
DEATH BATTLE
Laurelene: Go honey! Rid the world of the plague!
Ego: Delfim started hard and tough, using a combination f his personal instincts and skills to put Bieber in the proverbial shit hole.
Laurelene: And despite Bieber's fans invading the match, Delfim was quick to act and pt an end to them!
Ego: With the unexpected surprise of dealing with the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus! Glorious. The winner is Delfim.
Hope you all enjoyed it. Peace Out.