21.

"Flea, remind me again why we are here?" Shizuo sighed, listening to the familiar jingle of the bathrooms. He idly wondered if the designer was some sort of freak who really wanted elevator jingles. Except they didn't have elevators here so they decided bathrooms were the next best thing.

"Because I need to pee," Izaya stated bluntly.

The blond frowned.

"It's all part of the natural cycle. Au naturel, Shizu-chan," the lithe man gestured to himself, as if he was in a commercial. "Nothing to be ashamed about."

"I know that," the debt collector snapped.

"Well, if you're really that embarrassed, you can wait outside. I know Shizu-chan gets embarrassed real easy," the informant cooed condescendingly.

"I don't!" If looks could kill, Izaya would be dead a million times over and more.

"Why am I even arguing with you about this? Since Shizu-chan's so tsun-tsun and will deny it anyways," the raven-haired pondered aloud to himself.

"Don't you need to pee?" the former bartender scowled.

'Tsun-tsun? What the fuck was that? Fucking flea and his code words.'

Izaya brightened up as if he had just remembered. The bastard practically skipped into the restroom. "Right, right."

"Fucking flea," the bigger said out loud as he sat down on a nearby bench.

He stared out into space before his eyes focused on the flowers in front of him. (Seriously though, who plants flowers in front of bathrooms? That designer had some issues going on there.)

Shizuo frowned as he surveyed the plants. Why do they seem so… familiar to him? When had he really cared about flowers?

"Shizu-chan ~"

The man's head jerked up. "What?"

"What are you looking at?" Izaya cocked his head, following the honey eyed line of sight.

"Nothing."

"Those are flowers, not 'nothing'."

"I know that, fucking flea."

"…why are you staring at them like they personally offended your ancestors? Are you trying to gain telekinesis powers by staring at flowers? Maybe trying to burn them because your life is that pathetic?"

"Hey, stares can kill, as high as 0.00000000000000000000000000000000675%."

"…well, that sounds like you're trying to insinuate that if you stare at me enough, I'll spontaneously combust. Or whatever your preferred method of killing me is. I'm flattered that you'll stare at me so much, Shizu-chan. Really," the raven haired gave a big show of putting his hand on his chest.

"As if," the bigger glared.

"Oooo, I think my chance of getting killed by a stare just went up to a 0.00000000000000000000000000000000676%," the informant sneered. "I'm astounded that you bothered to remember such an irrelevant fact though. It's quite a number."

"You remember random facts all the time," the former bartender frowned.

"…are you still staring at the flowers?"

Silence.

"Those are orange mocks." Was it just him or did the smaller's voice soften a little?

The bigger's eyebrows scrunched up. "They're not orange."

"No shit, Shizu-chan. Sometimes your detective skills astound me."

"So why are they called orange?"

Izaya sighed. "Do you really expect me to answer that?"

He was met with a blank stare. "You're an informant."

"And you're a debt collector. Glad we know each other's jobs so well."

"So inform me, you shitty flea."

The dark haired frowned. "If you must know, it's because they smell like oranges. And the plants looks like a flower from an orange tree. And thus, orange mock."

He walked towards the flower bed, his hand reaching for the white petals. Izaya smiled softly, then, as if coming out of a trance, abruptly turned back. His hand fell flatly against his side.

Weirdo flea.

"You know, I'd thought your monster nose would've detected the scent. But I suppose I can't blame you. Public bathroom stink had been known to fuck up noses."

Shizuo superstitiously sniffed the air. Ew. Bathroom stench and, he consented, a tad of oranges. "How do you know so much about that?"

"No need to be suspicious. As you said, I'm an informant." The smaller paused briefly. "And as an informant, I'm obliged to find out information about why you, Shizu-chan, monster of Ikebukuro, are staring at flowers. In front of the bathroom."

The blond bit his lip and sighed before meeting the russet eyes. "They seem… familiar. Like… what was that word again?"

"Déjà vu?"

"Yeah, that one."

"…you know, orange mocks mean deceit. Odd that it should be planted here, in an amusement park of all things. Maybe the administrators are trying to subtly tell us that we're getting ripped off?" the Shinjuku resident murmured, almost tenderly.

But that can't be right. Why would Izaya be… tender to a bunch of flowers?

"Deceit…, fits what we're going through today, huh?"

"Hm?"

"That's what we're doing, right? Deceiving ourselves?"

"I don't know, Shizu-chan. That really all depends on your viewpoint. People decide if they are being deceived or even if they want to be deceived." Izaya grimaced. "Besides, we aren't really... dating. Just… yeah, deceiving…."

His ears definitely weren't lying this time. The flea's voice had softened and there was something else this time. Something more bitter.

"How do you even know that orange – what was it again? Orange somethings – means deceit?"

"The flower language."

Now this was really familiar. Where had he heard this before? Just as he was looking at flowers? Maybe something Simon said before? He was the type to spout odd tidbits at random times.

"…they really look familiar." Shizuo stood up to take a closer look at the plants. "I've definitely seen them before. Somewhere…."

He plucked out one, holding it close to his face to study it in new light.

"You know, if you wanted flowers, you could've just asked me. I would've bought you some. No need to go ripping out roots to fulfill your feminine desires," the dark haired drawled.

The other frowned, crushing the petals in his hand. Izaya glanced at it mournfully.

"If you bought me some, that would still be rooting out plants. The florist would have to get it off somewhere."

"Mm, true. But I'm not the one committing the murder, am I?"

"But you were the one who asked the florist to murder some plants," Shizuo pointed out. The flowers remained niggling at the back of his mind.

"So you don't want flowers?" the russet-eyed muttered to himself.

"What?"

"I didn't say anything," the informant raised his brow like the blond was the one who was crazy. But Shizuo knew he had heard something.

"My point is," the other continued. "I'm not the one actually ripping out the plants and therefore, not actually murdering them. Why should you suffer when you have other people to do your dirty work?"

"Of course that would be your thinking, devious flea."

The bespectacled man dismissed the niggling feeling at the back of his head. He could think about it later, when there wasn't a flea to annoy him.

"Why thank you."

"That's not a fucking compliment."

"You hungry?"

"Awww. Is Shizu-chan's tum-tum growling?" Izaya couldn't help but tease.

"It's not growling," the blond snapped defensively. "I'm just hungry."

"Of course. It's about 4 now. It's tea time."

Shizuo let out a soft snort.

"What?" the smaller almost pouted.

"Nothing. The line – the line 'It's tea time' just reminded me of… the Queen of Hearts, was it?"

The dark haired raised an eyebrow. "Are you seriously comparing me to the Queen of Hearts? From Alice in Wonderland?"

"Well, your eyes are red," the former bartender started. "And crazy and I'm pretty sure, if you got the chance, you'd like to say 'Off with your hea – "

"Shizu-chan, just because my eyes are red doesn't mean I automatically become the Queen of Hearts. And besides, 'It's tea time' was said by Mad Hatter."

Izaya can't believe he was discussing Alice in Wonderland, of all things, with Shizu-chan. But then again, they were in an amusement park. He supposed this could be an exception.

"Ah, is that so?" Shizuo paused, tilting his head. "That matches you too. You annoyingly talk in riddles and the Hatter's always talking in riddles, right?"

"I think. I'm surprised you remember little things like this."

"Kasuka made me sit down one day and have a Disney marathon with him."

"Ah."

There was a brief silence and Izaya wondered how anyone could progress on from a topic like this. He scuffed his feet anxiously. A sudden declaration interrupts his train of thought.

"I'm getting dango."

The informant looked up barely in time to see the other push past him to the shop behind. He followed, a bit grudgingly.

Shizuo was already in a deep conversation with the woman behind the counter.

"Ah, so these bocchan dango actually contain red bean, egg yolk and matcha paste. That's rare nowadays."

"Well, I'm a bit old schooled. The an and matcha dango have their respective paste inside. The kimi dango is just flavored."

"Then I'll have… the standard set. 3 sticks and tea."

"Hot or cold?"

"Uh, cold."

Izaya sidled up to the blond. "And I'll have one."

The woman looked up, startled. "Um, hold on, please. Let me – "

"That's okay, the flea's with me," the honey-eyed waved away the woman's worries.

The shopkeeper paused, looking cross-eyed as she tried to figure out who or what this 'flea' was.

Seeing this, the dark haired repeated. "It's okay, I'm with him." He jerked his thumb towards the bigger. "And I'll have one stick. Shizu-chan's paying."

A look of sudden understanding came over the woman and she hurried to prepare their orders.

"Fuck no! Pay for yourself, bastard."

"Don't be so mean, Shizu-chan. Look, our order's ready," Izaya stated smugly. He nodded towards the woman's outstretched hand with their snacks, waiting to be paid. "Come on, don't make the lady wait. That's awfully rude."

The former bartender growled and exhaled through his nose. He dug through his pocket and all but slammed the money down. He offered a stiff smile to the woman behind the counter. "Thanks."

"See, Shizu-chan, that wasn't so bad."

"Flea!" he made a grab for Izaya's T-shirt.

"Ah-ah. No killing me today. Eat your dango, Shizu-chan. You get angry when you don't get your sweets."

Shizuo stilled and Izaya could practically see him forcing himself to calm down. Probably chanting something like 'Don't kill the flea. Don't kill the flea. It'll look really bad in front of the lady. Don't kill the flea.'

The other shoved the treat towards him. "Here's your damn dango. I hope you choke."

"And to you too," the informant raised his stick as a toast.

The monster of Ikebukuro angrily bit into the round confection. He chewed with more force than necessary. The dark haired also ate the first dango.

As he chewed, the bean paste spilled out and the stickiness of the mochiko enveloped his teeth, staining them pink. His tongue follows to scrape the mochiko off, determined to make the crowns pearly white again.

The russet-eyed looked up when a cold plastic cup was thrust to his face.

"Here. You can have this," Shizuo said, more demanding than offering.

"And the Evil Queen offered poor little Snow White the poisonous apple. Or tea in this case."

"I'm the Evil Queen. And you're Snow White?"

"Well, I do have hair as black as ebony."

"Whatever. You want this or not?"

"I want this? Or I have to have this?"

The other furrowed his brows as he contemplated the question. "What the fuck are you saying? I said, you can have this. It's too bitter for me and you like tea."

"Oh, you're only offering because I like tea?"

"What? You know what – "

"So it would be okay if I don't drink it?" Izaya pressed, enjoying the perplexed look of the debt collector.

"Yes," the taller snapped. "I don't even know why I offered you this. It's not like I care if you want it or not. Just thought it'd be a waste of money to throw it away so soon."

So Shizu-chan did know why he offered.

"Who said I didn't want this?" he reached for the cup. Fingers overlapped as the exchange took place.

Isn't this where the sparks fly and you get that electrifying jolt? He really should stop reading so many unrealistic books.

"Your fingers are cold."

Shizuo blinked and then drawled. "I wonder why."

The informant stared at the cup in his hands. He tilted it slightly. The green liquid sloshed around.

"What? If you really don't want it, throw it in the trash, flea."

There was a stretched silence and the blond began reaching for the cup when the smaller spoke. "The straw has your germs on it."

The response was immediate. "What?" The blond was stupefied.

"It has your germs on it. You would've taken a sip from it and thus your germs are going to be on it," Izaya patiently explained.

"This, coming from the guy who stole half of my milk throughout high school?" the former bartender asked incredulously.

"I'd always liked the original flavor. The strawberry was a tad too sweet for me." He took a sip of the tea. "Oh wow. It really is bitter."

"That's what I said. …are you going to eat that?" Shizuo gestured to the white dango on the stick

"Uh – "

"It's egg. You don't really like eggs, right?" the blond eyed the ball.

"No, I suppose not. How would you know?"

"You don't like egg rolls."

The raven-haired isn't surprised. With as many years as they have between them, it would be surprising if they didn't know trivial things about each other.

Still, he commented. "How astute of you to notice."

"When Simon forces us to eat sushi together that many times…. Well, you learn something new every day."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, like how you only order those damn ootoro and – "

"Because they're goddamn delicious!" the lithe man immediately countered. The other ignored his protest.

"- how you can't hold your chopsticks properly."

"Can too!"

"No, you can't."

"I can too! More than you! It's just a different technique."

Shizuo grinned wickedly. "Sure, if you say so. Now are you going to eat that?"

"Eh."

The Shinjuku resident froze as the other man leaned forward and ate the confection right off the stick.

"And so Snow White took a bite of the poisoned apple," he remarked amusedly.

"Now I'm Snow White?"

"It's a reference," he waved the dango stick around flippantly. It resembled an odd magic wand. "I can't believe you ate my dango."

"Seeing as you don't like egg and aren't going to eat it, and since I paid for it, it'd be a waste of money to not eat it," the bespectacled man reasoned.

"You don't know I wasn't going to eat it," Izaya challenged.

"Well, it's too late now. If you want it back, you'll have to get it out of my mouth," the other opened his mouth to show a half chewed mush.

Oh, you'll like that won't you? Bad Izaya.

"Disgusting," he wrinkled his nose, more for show than anything. He's seen far worse after all.

"Besides," the monster of Ikebukuro continued, ignoring the comment. "I gave you the tea. We can call it a trade of sorts."

"A cup of tea, all 12 oz of it, is worth a dango?" the russet-eyed skeptically asked.

The blond shrugged. "Different things have different value for different people."

"So they do, Shizu-chan. So they do."

It was a while until they reached the shop. That shop that held unspeakable evils – and yes, more evil than taunting your secretary everday with every little secret of hers. More evil than leading innocent, little girls to suicide. More evil than anything the underground society held.

Dead fish eyes.

Izaya really couldn't understand why people would even think of inventing taiyaki. But they did. And they couldn't bother making it so it's cute. Or some other shape than fish. If they made it as pandas or penguins, he had no complaints.

But nooo, they just had to go for the realistic fish with its scales, fins and dead fish eyes.

That, in the informant's opinion, was the most evil thing ever.

And of course, lo and behold, Shizu-chan would start craving the damn things.

"Oh, no. No. We are not going there. Pick any other shop but not there," the informant said, dragging the bigger the other way.

"What? No. Fuck no. I want some taiyaki," Shizuo stood his ground, resisting the pull.

"Shizu-chan," Izaya hissed, eyes narrowing. "We are not going there. I don't care what you say or do afterwards, but we are not going near that shop. I'll buy you whatever snacks you want, you gluttonous monster, but we are not going there. Are we clear?"

Honey eyes met the narrowed ones. "Crystal."

The smaller made the mistake of relaxing. Immediately, he was yanked off in the other direction.

"Shizu-chan!"

"When have I ever listened to you?"

Touché.

"You are downright despicable. You – you monster," the raven-haired cried.

"It's just taiyaki, for fuck's sake. What have you got against tai – " the debt collector stopped short as understanding dawned on him. "Oh."

"Yes, oh. Laugh all you want, but we're not going there," Izaya snapped, taking back his arm.

The monster of Ikebukuro gave a sharp, feral grin. He leaned in, obviously enjoying the discomfort of the other. "They're not even that realistic. I don't see why – "

"Not that realistic?" the small frame shook with rage. "Those things just might be a dead fish coated in tempura and deep fried. I bet if you took a bite, the brown coating will come off and it'll be scales and glassy eyes."

"It's filled with red bean paste. Or custard. Or whatever they put in these things nowadays."

The informant grabbed the other's shirt and hissed. "You don't know that. People are deceptive, Shizu-chan. You never know what they're hiding. And that goes for the taiyaki that they make."

"Says the most dishonest, underhanded rat."

The two were at a stalemate. Then Shizuo drew back.

"Well, I'm going to get some, dead fish or not."

"Shizu-chan," Izaya almost whined. Why couldn't he see how immoral and wicked those things were?

"You can wait for me here, if you're really that scared," the former bartender taunted.

The other opened his mouth to rebut. He would not back down from this challenge.

But then he had a horrifying vision of all those damn taiyaki turning into actual fish and the eyes turning and boring right into him. He shuddered.

"I'll wait here, thank you very much."

"Suit yourself."

Shizuo headed towards the stall, the delicious smells wafting around already making his mouth water. Then he had an idea.

"May I have two?"

"What kind would you like dear?"

"Uh, custard, please."

"Thank you for your patronage."

The debt collector took the paper bags, grinning widely all the way. As he approached, the informant eyed him suspiciously.

"What did you do? You're smiling like a monstrous, blond Cheshire Cat."

"It hurts that you should suspect me when I smile," the blond scowled. However, his lips twitched upwards, making it look like a mouth spasm.

"That's because you're a grumpy cat who abhors everything," Izaya sneered.

"If I'm a grumpy cat, that would explain why I hate fleas like you," Shizuo said amusedly. "Here, I got something for you."

"I told you I don't want those accursed things," the lithe man physically shied away. If he was a cat, his fur would be all bristled up.

"I bought it for you as a gift, though," the bigger leaned, almost leering. He dangled the packet between them. "And it'd be rude to not accept a gift."

"Not when it's goddamn dead fish."

"It's not a dead fish. I bought you candy apple."

"Nice try, Shizu-chan. But there's no way I'm taking that bag."

"Mm. Alright."

And just when Izaya thought he won, the Ikebukuro resident slowly brought out his taiyaki, head first. He froze. Everything was in slow motion.

Shizu-chan biting into the head. The dratted head with its big fat lips and round eyes.

The dark haired closed his eyes before the horror could go on any longer.

Evil. The bastard was evil.

"Izaya, think fast."

The informant jolted and opened his eyes to see Shizuo toss something to him. Working only on long-honed reflexes, he caught the blur of the object.

"Shizu-chan," now he definitely whined. Izaya dangled the bag away at arm's length, holding it by the very tip.

"It's great. Delicious. And look, custard, not fish," the blond showed his decapitated taiyaki, custard leaking out.

"I refuse to even take it out of the bag. Absolutely disgusting."

"You could eat it sideways. Or from the tail."

"Shizu-chan, what part of 'disgusting' do you not understand."

"I dare you to eat that."

Torn between backing down from a dare and the horrors of dead fish eyes, the Shinjuku resident finally said, "…I would consider it if you took off the head for me."

"Chicken. But alright, here."

Slowly, as if sudden movements would startle the other, he took out the treat. Izaya squeezed his eyes shut and felt the soft puff of laughter from the blond. The man broke off the head, the cream oozing out.

"You can open your eyes now."

The informant cautiously opened one eye, as if expecting a trick.

"You actually decapitated it," he said incredulously. And before he could stop himself, "That's like an act of true love."

Izaya mentally winced.

Now you've done it.

The monster of Ikebukuro raised a brow, mulling over the thought. "Decapitating a fish is an act of true love?"

"Yup," the other replied, biting into the headless taiyaki. He eyed the other for his reaction.

"Well, then this would be an act of fake love. Fake fish, fake love. Very fitting for today," Shizuo nodded.

Izaya paused. He hadn't thought of that. Then he licked the custard off his lips. "Yeah, very fitting. It's all fake after all."

This time, the monster of Ikebukuro didn't notice the hint of melancholy in the informant's voice.

Hey.

Haven't updated for a long time. So sorry about that. But had exams and everything. Ugh. But I'm on break and got to write this. A bit out of practice in writing Izaya and Shizuo so not sure how this turned out. Hopefully okay. And the Disney references? Blame Christmas. I was listening to Christmas songs and Disney songs (since it's Christmas... and I don't know. Just suddenly started listening to Disney songs.) so you get those references. Yay!

Bocchan dangos are the dango that comes in three colors. Pink, white and green. In that order. Pink ones are colored by red bean so they probably have the taste of red bean. I don't know about the paste inside though. Just added that. White ones are colored by egg. And green are by matcha. If you want to know more, do not ask me. I can't cook. Or make anything really. I'm on the eating side of the deal. Google recipes and stuff for more. (Does this count as something for Christmas? Pink/red, white and green?)

Taiyaki are the fish-shaped waffle cake... thing. I don't know how to explain it. Google it. But since we all know Izaya's afraid of dead fish eyes and I ran out of ideas, why not make him scared of taiyaki?

Oh! And the 'stares can kill, as high as 0.00000000000000000000000000000000675%' part? Yes, that did come right out of the book. Saika arc, book 2 (I think).

If you guys have any ideas or prompts, feel free to tell me. Thanks for reading! Always appreciate feedback.

Merry Late Christmas and Happy New Year! (Can't believe it's 2015 already.)

*Note, this isn't edited. Will update an edited version later. Grammar mistakes and all.

**Updated edited version!