A/N: Sorry about the long wait! School's been really busy. I go to the most academically challenging school in Canada. Yeah... lots of work. I also got distracted by a cute boy and then I had a marine bio trip. But I brought this to you now! Sorry that it's short too. There are reasons behind it all. We'll attempt to be more regular now that my school work has evened out. Please read and review.

Chapter 21

I sat in the unfamiliar hotel room. The view was beautiful. It was almost as beautiful as the one in my apartment the company gave me. I had no idea why Lacey insisted that we stay in a hotel with McFly; we had our own perfectly good apartments.

I didn't really mind; I was sharing a room with Danny. I guess I should've said Harry. It would've made sense. I am such a horrible person. I tucked my knees up to my chin and let my side bangs fall into my eyes.

I sighed. I felt like I was abusing Harry's attraction to me. Stupid Tom. Of course, everything I did revolved around stupid Tom and his stupid Ashley. I felt the tears prick from behind my eyes. I didn't want to hurt Harry, I really did like him. I just didn't love him, not the way I did Tom.

It was all-consuming. I noticed him all the time. I wanted to hug him and kiss him and stay by his side. When he wasn't playing the piano with me on stage I became extremely nervous. As soon as I saw him on stage I calmed down. I needed to hear him at least once a day. I had to see him.

But every time, my heart would twist. It physically pained me not to be near him. I couldn't hug him whenever I wanted, I couldn't hold his hand, I couldn't kiss him. It was so painful to know how close he was, and yet I could do nothing I longed to do.

I shook my head and rubbed at my eyes. I have Harry. I may fall in love. I started to laugh.

"God, love always hurts me."

I felt a pair of warm arms wrap around my shoulders. My heart immediately jumped into my throat. Tom?

"Oh come on, love will find you." I looked up at Dougie. I guess I should've known because of the tattoos on his arm. Wait, why was Dougie in my room?

"Lacey's out doing something, Danny's sick in the stomach, Harry is off buying you a present, and Tom is adoring Ashley. I wanted to hang out."

I really, really need to stop saying what I think out loud. I looked over at Dougie. I knew Lacey and him were in a half fight. Or rather, a really stupid bet which will probably end in a really stupid mistake which will probably lead to the best thing to ever happen to them. But hey, I'm just the friend, what do I know?

"So without Lacey to tease and flirt with you're going to give me love advice?"

Dougie sat down beside me and looked out the window. "Linette, you had a lot of bad stuff happen to you. You ran away and lived in poverty. Then you worked your way up to here. On top of that you've only dated jerks. Karma is going to give you a guy who worships you, whether it's Tom, or Harry, or someone else, you'll find him." Dougie put his arm around my shoulder and I leaned into him.

"I hope so..." I whispered. My eyes drifted over the mist filling central park. It was New York; my home, I guess. I didn't love New York. I loved the city, and the people, and the way everything was busy, but it didn't feel like home.

Dougie and I sat like that for a while. Eventually we heard footsteps down the hall. "Lacey's back," I whispered.

"I know. I'll get her soon. I want that fifty quid."

"Technically it's only 25 pounds, but fifty dollars."

Dougie groaned. "Stop making me not seem smart."

I started to laugh. "It's not my fault! It's really easy!" Dougie looked hurt and I immediately laughed harder.

"Fine, I'm going over to Lacey."

"Because she's the only one who makes you feel smart?"

Dougie grinned at me as he walked towards the door. "Of course."

I laughed and looked back out the window. I was kidding; Lacey was smart. She did her job well. Life was a different story. But I guess we're all a little stupid in life.

I took out my notebook and looked at the songs. I hadn't written a song since Making Excuses. I know I told Lacey I did, but I haven't. I just haven't been inspired. Staring out the window again I began to twist the pen in my hands.

"Well I have one last request..." I whispered. Looking over the misty Central Park it was all I could do not to run outside and scream my frustration.

"Well, I have one last request
Just give me one last kiss
And then I'll walk away
Into the pouring rain.
I'll leave you forever,
Forget all our memories.
I just wanted you to know
That I loved you till the end."

Tears pricked my eyes. What I would give to kiss Tom. Flashes of our kiss haunted me. I sometimes saw him in the hall kissing Ashley and I would think back to the way his lips felt on mine... I just can't stop, can I?

"Those words were beautiful." I froze in my spot. I wasn't imagining this time. It really was Tom.

I gathered my composure, turned, and smiled. "Was it? I'm just bouncing ideas to myself."

Tom came over and sat beside me on the floor staring out the giant glass window. "Yaah, I like your words a lot."

"Your music is better."

"I've been formally trained."

I glanced over at Tom. His blonde hair fell into his eyes as he looked out the window. His eyes were clouded. What was he thinking about? I let my eyes see his posture. He was leaning against the wall. I watched as he closed his dark eyes.

"Linette, will you sing me a lullaby?"

I looked over, surprised. Did Tom just ask me to sing him a lullaby?

"Yaah, I did. I'm just stressed and want to relax. Please sing to me?"

Okay, I need to stop saying what I think out loud. I wracked my brain for a lullaby. I could only think of one, one that was sung to me a long time ago.

"Sleep, my darling.
Hush, my baby.
Wait until the morning.
Sleep, my baby.
Hush, my darling.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow will be better.
The sky will bring you pretty clouds
And angels will come and stroke your head.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow will be better.
Sleep, my darling.
Hush, my baby.
Wait until the morning.
Sleep, my baby.
Hush, my darling."

I looked over at Tom. His chest was rising and falling slowly. I crawled over to him and brushed a piece of hair from his face. He looked so calm and happy. A shot of pain ran through my heart. I wanted to be able to make him happy every day.

I quickly moved away from Tom. We barely talked since that kiss. He spent so much time with Ashley she was having a hard time flirting with Danny. It hurt me so much to know someone else made him happy.

"I'm so selfish," I whispered into his ear as I moved back and leaned onto his shoulder. My face was warm against his shoulder. I could breathe in his wonderful smell of laundry detergent and cologne. "I want you for myself."

I stayed there with my eyes closed for a while. I did not want to move. With my head on his shoulder, I could pretend Tom was in love with me. I could pretend my feelings were returned. I could pretend that what I was feeling, that intense feeling of longing and belonging, was meant to be.

"Linette?" My neck felt cramped. When did I fall asleep? I opened my eyes and was looking up into Tom's chocolate brown ones. My head was on his lap. Everything rushed back to me and I felt the blood rush to my face. I stood up quickly but regretted the sudden motion immediately. I half-crumpled into Tom's sitting form.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"It's okay. You were more tired than I was. You must've been really stressed. Are you sure you don't need a break?"

I shook my head, perhaps a bit violently. "No, I'm fine. I just need a good night's sleep tonight. I- I can still do the interview tomorrow."

"Are you sure? I'm pretty sure Ellen Degeneres doesn't need you on the show."

"But I need to be on the show. You guys are the main ones she's talking to, I know, but I need to be seen. I need to be heard. I'm not established like you are."

Tom gave me a serious look. "You don't seriously think the company's going to drop you now? You have a number one single, a number one album, a number one music video, what more do they want from you?"

"Have you not seen a tabloid recently?"

"What?" Tom asked, confused. I walked over to the night table and pulled open the drawer. Inside were a bunch of magazines.

All of them had pictures of McFly and me on it. All of them also had the same picture of Harry and me kissing at the concert. Underneath was the caption "Linette and British drummer Harry Judd: official?" Tom looked at the covers.

"So?" I glared at him and flipped to the marked pages I had.

Every single page had a review of my music. Tom quickly scanned the articles and soon his eyes widened in surprise. Each and every article called me "unconventionally pretty" and a probable "one-hit wonder". That hurt. The people didn't even know me.

All of a sudden Tom hugged me from behind. I felt his hands around my waist, my skin sparking where he touched me. His chin rested on my head. "You are not a one-hit wonder. You're music is amazing; you're amazing. And you're not unconventionally pretty; you're not some label they give you. You're beautiful, and you shouldn't care whether they see it or not."

I had to remind myself to breathe. My body couldn't handle being so close to his. His mouth was complimenting me. His hands were holding me. I was in his arms, and I was so hopelessly in love. All of a sudden I felt a vibration from Tom's pocket.

I fake-laughed and pulled away. "You should get that before your girlfriend gets mad." A look passed over Tom's eyes I had never seen before. He pulled out the phone.

"It's Danny," he murmured. Was that... anger in his voice? Tom quickly read the message and put his mobile back into this pocket. "I have to go Linette. I'll see you in a bit."

I watched him leave the room. I took everything in about him. The way his hair moved gently as he walked, the cute black skinnies he was wearing, the black Convers, the white and blue Billabong shirt. As I watched him leave, I knew I was in love with him. I can't lie to Harry any more. I just can't.

I turned back to the window. The skies were grey. "At least the outside world knows my mood."

Lacey burst into the room, her face aglow. She startled me so I dropped my notebook onto the floor. I had been working on new songs for the album.

"Hey, Lacey, make up with Dougie?" I giggled. Her face said she did.

Automatically her face clouded over. Okay, maybe I was wrong. "No, but I really, really, really need you to come with me for something."

"Wanna be more specific before I come with you?"

"Just come." Lacey grabbed my arm and dragged me up from my spot on the floor.

"Lacey," I whined, "I need to work on some new songs."

"Just come with me Linette."

I walked with her to the hall. All of a sudden I heard voices coming from her room. "Lacey-"

Lacey quickly shushed me by placing a hand over my mouth. Her eyes pleaded with me to be quiet. I swear to God if we're spying on Dougie I am going to give them protection, a do not disturb sign, and lock them into their hotel room.

She snuck up to the door and I joined her. Lacey motioned for me to look through the small crack on the door. In the middle of the room were Ashley and Danny. I don't want to see this.

I wanted to pull away from that crack in the door, but I couldn't tear my eyes from them. It still bothered me that Tom loved Ashley. So selfish. I chastised myself. I wanted Tom to love me, only me.

I began to pay attention to what the two of them were saying.

"You called, Danny?" Ashley asked, her voice sugary sweet. I glared as she tossed her red hair over her shoulder.

"Yaah," Danny answered simply. He was staring at the ground, not looking up at Ashley. Was he –no, he couldn't be! Is Danny nervous?

"So? Come on, what is it?"

Danny began to fidget with whatever was in his hands. "I- I... um, do you love Tom?"

Ashley looked slightly taken aback but quickly returned to her mask of... of fakeness. "He's fun to be around."

"It's just..."

"Yaah?"

"Ashley, I think I'm in love with you." Danny lifted his piercing blue eyes and looked at Ashley with an intensity I had never seen before. I... I... what?

Ashley looked surprised and pleased. "Really? What do you love about me?"

Danny sighed in frustration. "Everything! But I shouldn't love you! I shouldn't!" His voice sounded bitter.

Ashley's voice immediately took a hurt tone. "Why shouldn't you love me?"

"Because my best friend loves you, Ashley! That's the ultimate betrayal!"

All of a sudden Ashley moved over to Danny and kissed him full on the lips. I didn't breathe. I couldn't understand what was happening. Why did Danny not tell me? Why did Tom still like this girl? Why am I so God damn unlucky?

After the few breathless, heart stopping moments, Ashley pulled away. "The ultimate betrayal," she said, "would be for two people who love each other not to be with each other."

I gasped but quickly covered my mouth. I had just witnessed the end of two relationships. What a sad day for Thomas Michael Fletcher.

"But... I... what about Tom?"

"He was fun while he lasted. I was mainly using him to be closer to you."

"You fucking bitch!" I shouted it before I knew I'd even thought it. Lacey glanced at me in surprise. I did not swear often. Ashley drew back from Danny slightly. I barged into the room, glaring at them both along the way. "You fucking little slut."

Ashley's eyes narrowed. "You can't call me that."

"I can call you WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT!" I shouted. Ashley flinched a little. "How DARE you use someone? How DARE you cheat on someone who LOVES you? I would give ANYTHING for what Tom feels for you! You fucking hypocritical stupid fake annoying slutty BITCH!"

Ashley stood up to face me. "Shut the hell up! I'm not the one using Harry to get over Tom!"

I admit, I was not expecting that one. "I'm not using anyone! I hope that Tom can hear this so he can fucking see what a horrible person you really are!" I felt tears begin to stream down my face.

"Linette..." Danny spoke quietly from the side.

"And you're no fucking better!" I shouted. "How could you do that to your friend? I thought you hated Ashley. I hope you two are fucking happy when you see Tom's broken heart." Ashley looked ready to slap me.

"LINETTE!" I turned to Danny. That was not his voice. That was not Danny's voice. I looked around the room. There was only Danny, Lacey, Ashley and me.

"What...?" I asked, confused.

"Linette, Tom heard everything." Danny started to laugh. My mouth dropped open in shock and Ashley turned my paleness. Lacey began to giggle and shake.

Danny held up his mobile. The speaker was on. "Say hello, Tom," Danny said to the mobile.

"Ashley, you and I have to talk." Then the line went dead. All our eyes turned to Ashley. She was beginning to cry.

Danny closed his mobile and stood up. "Goes to show you can't use people and win. Karma bites, bitch." With that he left the room.

Ashley stood there in the middle of the room speechless. I just stared at her. I knew it was weird of me, but I felt... bad. She'd been such a bitch to me and to Tom and to Lacey, but... that was intense. She'd just lost us all.

"Ashley, are you okay?"

"Shut the fuck up, bitch."

I reeled back in surprise. I had not been expecting that. All the previous sympathy I'd felt for Ashley went out the window.

"What did you say?" I asked, astonished.

She glared at me. "Shut. Up. You ruined everything. You and your pretty blonde hair and your beautiful voice and your stupid fucking music!" With those words she ran out of the room.

I watched as she left. She probably went to find Tom.

"If she finds away to get Tom back, I'm gonna be pissed," Lacey murmured.

I turned to Lacey. "Did you know?" my voice was barely a whisper.

"Danny and I planned it."

Tears sprung to my eyes. "I... I don't even know what to think anymore."

I burst into tears and sunk into the armchair Danny had just been sitting on. Lacey rushed over to me and put and arm around my shoulder.

"What's wrong?" She asked, her voice full of worry. "Aren't you happy?"

Yes, and that's the problem.