I sat on the stairs with my head in my hands as everyone was talking about what to do. Even Cline… Cline was alive. He's not dead. I saved him. I… actually saved someone. Now what? What will happen to the timeline..? What will happen to certain events? Or will all events be changed? I just don't know, I can't stop my head from spinning when I try to think it out.
Then, a green guard slammed through the doors. We all looked over with startled expressions.
The guard wasted no time in catching his breath, "Lord Cline! The Rashugal army has invaded town! Our troops are engaged throughout the city."
"Milla and the others are out there!" Jude turned so he was completely facing the door.
Alvin let his hands drop from his head. "Guess maybe trying to take Cline's life wasn't the only thing they were planning."
"We need to protect Driselle." Cline went up to the door by the guard. "Make sure the manor is secure and that everyone else is inside their homes. We cannot allow Nachtigal to gather more pawns for his experiment." The soldier nodded, quickly running out to inform the others.
"Lord Cline, you must stay here!" Rowen pleaded, worry written all over his face.
"You know as well as I do that I am capable of fighting. If they have anything disastrous going on…"
"I doubt they'll harm the townsfolk." I stood, clearing my throat. "They're most likely after Milla since she knows of the Lance. We need to hurry to the square. Rashugal couldn't have gotten too close to this area."
Everyone nodded after hesitating for a couple seconds. I noticed their gazes on me were of surprise, as if asking "how do I know something like that?" Out of all of them, though…Alvin's was the most concerning.
So we ran to the main square as fast as we could. You could already see the commotion half-way across the bridge, and it had me worried. The guards had already surrounded the girls, trying to keep them settled down as long as they could. However, when a man with grey hair (that I recognized to be Gilland) noticed us running over, they began to drag the girls to the carriage. Before we could even say a thing, the remaining guards caught sight of Cline. We stopped as they surrounded us.
My hands began to shake slightly, knowing that these guards were wanting to fight. Wait, we avoid the battle, don't we? Yeah, we- wait no, we have Cline darn it.
Everyone around me were pulling out their weapons. Even Rowen, and this had me concerned. Wait, so my suspicion is right..? We have to fight them?!
"Let's teach these guys a lesson." Alvin stated, getting in a stance and already blocking one of the soldiers.
"W-We just have to hit them unconscious, right?!" I shouted over the now noisy battle ground. When I spotted a guard getting close, I drew my sword rather quickly, but dodged them. I glanced in Alvin's way, whose facial expression grew dark.
Dodge…
Jude was slightly hesitant but hit the female guard square in the chin. You could tell he was trying to hide his emotions on the matter.
Dodge, again…
Rowen stayed close to Cline, but casted a stalagmite to ram right into another soldier. It sent them flying and they painfully slammed into a wall.
Dodge!
My sword moved as if on its own. The sound of metal against metal echoed through my ear as I looked at the figure before me.
Blocked…
What do I do..? What do I do?! I have no real experience fighting a human being!
A slight scream from the side of me. Alvin had done it… A slight choked sound. Jude did the same… Then just a really painful-sounding slap of matter against matter. Rowen…
"If you don't make a move, it's easier to me." The guard I had blocked raised his sword to bring it down. I yelped, feeling a familiar burn coming out from my hand and to my sword.
Cline's voice rang from behind me. "Maren, I know it may be tough, but it's either you or them!"
I don't like to get hurt.
I don't like pain.
I don't want to die.
I don't—
In all honestly, there was no sound. No choke, no screams, no shouts… I couldn't even hear myself think. I could only see. The blood that was just barely darker than the armor; the blue flames going out; the stumbling and backward motion of the guard. For a split second, I swear I saw that soldier's face. His eyes were wide with shock, and his mouth did not close without blood leaking out. The sword that impaled him did not go with the body. My hand already had a death grip on it, and my feet were planted to the ground.
He's dead.
I stabbed him.
I took a life.
I took someone's son.
Someone's brother.
Someone's husband.
…someone's dad…
I was in so much shock I didn't even feel the concrete scrape against my knees when my legs gave out. I didn't hear the shouting around me. I didn't know there were even people around me, anymore. I was just…in darkness.
It all went by so fast. How… Why..? Why had I let myself stab someone?
My senses and sight came back when I felt my body become light. Alvin had picked me up, a hint of concern in his expression.
"Hey…" He started softly, carefully setting me on my feet. His hands stayed strong on my shoulders as he continued, "You did the right thing. It was either your or him." That kind of logic is wrong. At least to me it's wrong. I took his life. He's probably taken more lives, but I don't care. There could have been a way both of us walked away safely.
Cline.
Wait, that kind of happy ending would have happened if Cline was dead. So in exchange for saving one life…we took four more. What kind of trade is that? Am I the reason these guards are dead? But there would have been so much grief and sorrow! Can I do anything right?!
A comforting hand rested on my back. "Maren…" I slowly turned my head to face the Lord of Sharilton, seeing the proud yet concerned expression. "It is indeed hard to take a life… But if you show that you care, I'm sure they will understand. Even then, the thought may not seem right. But when you remember the situation, what else could you have done?"
Not wanting to continue the topic with any possible outcomes of crying, I forced a smile. "Thanks, Cline… And Alvin…" My voice shook as I spoke. Everyone looked at each other, then we made our way back to the manor. They're going to do strategies, and we might pick up some supplies before we head out. I should do something to avoid the talk…
When we entered through the front doors, I looked over to Rowen.
"Where's the bathroom?" I asked, trying to hold back the tears that I swear wanted to start flooding out when I spoke.
He didn't question me and just pointed to the door on the left. "Through there, down the hall, and on the right. If you plan to shower, there are towels in the cabinets." Well, he obviously knows why I want to go to the bathroom.
So I made my way through the door, already hearing them start a conversation. I didn't want to listen. I want to zone off. I want to go back to feeling like I'm just here for the ride. I don't want to feel the blood on my soul. It was horrible of me to take his life. They're gone… All four of those guards will be gone forever and their families will have a grudge on me.
The door to the bathroom came to my right and I turned the nob. The area was lit up enough by the natural sunlight, and the shower head was located in a decent sized glass box. The overall color, like the rest of the house, was a type of marine blue with different shades of green. A glowing plant stood in the corner across from the toilet, and my eyes found the cabinets. I tried to focus more on the world around me rather than get swallowed up in my own thoughts. After all, do I really just want to sulk for three hours? Yes. Yes, I very much do.
It was a few minutes for me to stare at the shower's handle. I just don't know how to turn this thing on. Let's see, let's try the twist, first. . . . No. How about the pull? . . . No. What the crap. How do I turn on the shower? I scanned my surroundings once more and found a type of button next to the shower head. Goodness, that's really high up there.
So after multiple tries of jumping and hitting my head on the wall after slipping, I had reached success. The button was pressed and the handle was easier to pull out. The warm water began to flow. Just as I was about to start undressing, there sounded a knock at the door.
"Uh… Yeah..?" I called out, pausing my actions. "Who is it?"
"Pardon me for intruding," Rowen's voice echoed from the other side, "Miss Maren, will you be all right in there? I know your situation may be tough—"
"I'll be f-…" I choked back a sob that threatened to jump out. I waited a couple seconds, taking a deep breath. "…I'll be just fine. I'll come out when I'm clean."
"If you say so. Well, then I shall be on my way to speak with Lord Cline and the others. If you do happen to need anything just call," And then silence fell; the only thing I could hear was the water from the shower head hitting the tile. That sound itself drowned out my tiny whine I had let slip out when I knew Rowen left. My teeth clenched, tears fought to spill, and I felt as though I was being choked as I tried to not let any other whines of sorrow escape.
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
You're fine, you're fine, you're fine.
Stop, stop, STOP.
I took multiple deep breathes, looking at myself in the mirror. My eyes, cheeks, everything was red. Feeling guilty for the way I looked, I flashed a smile; forced it bigger, more sincere. For a few seconds I felt a little better. So, I began to get undressed again.
I don't know how long I was in the shower. I zoned out a lot, but I still managed to wash my hair and body when my butt became sore from sitting. The warmth of the shower was comforting – like someone was giving me a hug. The feeling of the water pitter-pattering on my back distracted my mind slightly from the mental hurricane, but only faintly. The majority of the time… I prayed and struggled to wash my hands "clean" with the soap. I prayed for forgiveness, for mercy, for any kind of acceptance. I needed to repent. I needed to atone. I needed to do something more than just apologize for that soldier's death by my hands. But I didn't know how. So I begged. Of both God and the soldier. Taking a life is not acceptable… In any circumstance. Even if it may be a war, you still feel guilt course through your veins from the spilled blood of the victim. Why… Why did I save Cline's life..?
But a small feeling flooded from the back of my head. It was something I could control. I would probably be doing this same thing if I killed someone during the war for my first time…
You had tried your best.
And then multiple songs I found relaxing seeped into my mind. For a few seconds I was at peace.
But then a knock sounded through the bathroom.
"Maren, I don't think you should be wasting water," Alvin called from the other side of the door. "You done in there?"
My hands wiped what was left of my tears from my face and nodded. But I realized he couldn't see that movement. "Y-Yeah, I'll be right out."
"We're about to leave in a few minutes. You might want to hurry."
"Got it, thanks." And I reached up to turn off the shower. Hopefully I was only an hour and not two or three.
So I turned off the hot water, slowly getting out of the shower. For some reason the room seemed lighter—more clear. It was calmer than before. I guess I just needed some time to think things out or something. You could hear the birds outside chirping through the window. I didn't dare open it though with soldiers possibly trying to find ways to get into the manor. After a few minutes, I was finally dressed and hair was combed through.
Everyone had bags packed and Rowen was helping Jude get some food supplies. I walked over to where Alvin was chilling on the stairs.
"So… Are we going after the carriage?" I asked, sitting next to him.
He flashed a grin at me, "I see you're out of the shower after two hours," I just rolled my eyes to try and keep the tears from showing. "…Yeah, apparently that carriage went in the direction of Fort Gandala. I assume you should know of it."
"O-Only a little. How long is it going to take to get there?"
"If we plan to go straight through, about one night's worth. However, I'm betting it's going to take two days due to the crossing being a desert."
I stuck out my tongue with an exasperated sigh. "Bleh, sand… Hopefully I don't get any in my boots."
"Only if you fall down or the wind is blowing." He replied, leaning back on the steps with his elbows. "I feel bad that the girls will have to stay there for that long. A carriage ride is definitely a day. But if we're going to take two…"
Jude and Rowen appeared from around the corner. "Packing's ready." Jude stated, then looked in my direction, "Maren! Are you all right after all the…uh…fighting?"
"Yeah, I'm at peace for now." He's worried about me! I'm gonna cry tears of happiness.
"Where's Lord Cline?" Rowen asked, looking down at Alvin.
The mercenary pointed a thumb to the second floor. "He said he needed to get prepared for the journey ahead."
"I suppose he does have to know about fighting others sooner or later," the butler sighed.
"Hey now…" the brunette held up his hands, "Are you saying the proper Lord knows how to actually fight?"
I shrugged, "He did some pretty cool moves in Bermia Gorge."
"Of course he can fight." Rowen laughed, patting the saber on his side. "I taught him, after all."
"What good is a leader if he cannot fight alongside his own people?" Cline's voice came from the top of the stairs. We each looked up, the Lord of Sharilton dressed in a different kind of garb. He had a greenish-blue torso with gold markings. His pants were white, green boots reaching up to his knees. Armor was equipped in every essential place—a sheath of a sword hanging off his belt. He began his way down the stairs.
Jude blinked, "Wow, Cline. I… I honestly didn't expect you to wear something like that."
"So cool…" I mused, eyes seeming to sparkle. This is new. Definitely new. I have to be honest, I didn't expect this either.
"Every Lord has a set of war clothes made specifically for them. I decided this would be a good time to wear them." Yeah, you actually look hot- "…Maren, you have this tendency to always slap yourself."
I rubbed my cheek. "Sorry. My, uh, mind is being stupid."
"Thinking certain thoughts?" Alvin grinned teasingly at me, patting the top of my head.
"I don't know, Teddy." I glared. "Am I?"
"Still calling me by that name, huh?"
"No mercy."
Rowen cleared his throat, propping his hands behind his back. "Well, then. Shall we get going?"
We each nodded and began to make our way out. There were no horses in sight, so we were going to make it to Fort Gandala on foot. Yay, hooray, whoop-di-do…
Hopefully nothing is completely altered any more than this now that Cline's alive. And hopefully I won't have to take another life in a situation that could have gone differently…
Hopefully.
Well! ...it's been a month. Two, technically. I'm sorry that I took forever on this chapter, and I'm sorry only 2,000+ words came out of it. Goodness, I've just had some, uh, stressful problems over the month. Not to mention it's the finals month for school. So, uh, yeah. Better some than none, right? XD
Anyway, for those of you who may not know, I've created a Tumblr. Same name: Mewnia. It'll be like a mix of the stuff I post on Facebook aaaannnnd somefanartlikeundertale BUT WHO KNOWS. Yeah, so, uh... See you next chapter? Please leave a review to tell me how this went!