so yeah, sorry for makin u guys wait so long, but i had a block 4ever. love to those of u who review! R&R please and thank you.
(chapter 21)
"Raven, no…don't do this." pleaded Beastboy, who was still being held by terra with a blade to his throat.
She closed her eyes even tighter, trying to ignore him. "If I do this…you must promise no harm will come to him. Not any of my friends."
"Not a scratch." said Slade, holding out his hand. Terra dropped the changeling to the ground, heading over to where Slade was.
Beastboy stood shakily. "No! Raven you cant! After all that we've worked for to stop this, you cant give up now!" tears welled up in his eyes, "please…don't go."
Finally she opened her eyes, walking over to him, she put a hand to his cheek. Taking in every inch of his face, as if to engrave it into her mind and keep it there forever. Then his eyes, eyes that held so much sadness and pain, yet at times happiness and love. Deep emerald orbs, going on and on forever until cruel time would take its toll. She wished that those eyes would live on, shining innocently evermore, that they would never close so that she could behold their vast unrealized beauty. Ever so slowly she leaned into him, catching his lips with her own, draping her arms around his neck, trying to be as close to him as possible. Beastboy wrapped his arms around her waist, never wanting to let go and watch her slip away. She Pulled away what seemed like an eternity later, trying to savor the feeling that had just coursed through her veins. Trying to remember how soft his lips were, the tenderness of the kiss, taking her breath away just at the thought. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, "I have to…" she stepped backwards, away from him.
"No!"
"I'm sorry…" she whispered. "goodbye, Garfield…" by this time she was in front of Slade again, taking one last glance at Beastboy before turning and shaking the villain's hand.
"No! Raven!" he tried to run towards her, but as soon as she took his hand…they were gone.
The changeling's heart stopped, he had failed her. He fell to his knees in a helpless heap, he felt numb…empty. His eyes wide, just staring at the mangled cement before him, not caring that tears were freely streaming down his face. Unconsciously his hand moved to his lips, touching where Raven had just kissed him. He had imagined their first kiss hundreds of times, but never…never like this, as a goodbye. A desperate cry for him to understand that she wouldn't ever see him again. A sad farewell, knowing that any future they might have had is lost. Lost because of her father, because of some stupid prophecy that was made when she was born.
"Raven…" he whispered. If he hadn't been there maybe it would be different, she went with them because of him. Because she didn't want him to get hurt. Maybe if hadn't been so weak minded she would still be there. Maybe if they had destroyed terra's grave…maybe…
Beastboy couldn't think anymore, his mind was jumbled. Doubt, worry, fear, sorrow. Raven…would he even see her…alive again? He hoped with all his heart and soul that he would.
"If there is a god out there somewhere, whichever one it might be…don't take her from me. Allow her to live, to be happy and free. And if a life must be taken…take mine instead. She can do much more good than I can. Please…" he looked up at the sky as it began to get cloudy, searching for some sort of sign. "Save her…I'm begging you." by this time the changeling gave up the will to even sit up. He fell, slumped over on his side, hugging his knees to his chest, letting his tears fall until there was nothing left. Just dry heaves, and sniffles catching in his chest making it harder to breath that it already was. Rain began to fall upon him. As if the gods were answering him, heaven was crying for him. Telling him that his wish could not be granted.
So he lay there, as the rain pounded down on him merciless and unrelenting, numbing him to the bone. The October wind was also unfeeling towards him, blowing its cold lonely gusts through his soaked, broken form. Still he was unmoving, emotion gone from his wet face, his eyes hollow, gray. There was no more thought or activity in his mind, only darkness, consuming every bright hope for the future and drowning it until nothing was left but the choked gasps and cries of an innocent soul. Until it is finally lost to the darkness of the world, it struggles, helpless and defenseless. Giving out, making it impure, different…corrupt. Loss of innocence is loss of self, the child you once were, the dreams you once wished for, the things that once held so much joy…the simplest things. Gone.
Even if somehow they were able to rescue Raven and stop Trigon from destroying everything…Beastboy would never be the same. He would always lack his true inner child, who had died along with many of his dreams in those few moments. It would all be worth it…if only they found her, then maybe in time he could regain a fraction of what was slipping away.
Darkness was consuming the edges of his vision, though he wasn't paying attention to the pain in his head and body, it was slowly taking its toll on him. He at least had a concussion and maybe a few broken ribs, but right now he felt nothing, just emptiness. It was getting difficult to stay awake, every time he closed his eyes it became harder and harder to open them. Finally, with one last look of the mangled cement, he let himself be taken into his mind. Where all there was, was Raven and what had just happened…over and over again. It seemed that he would be forced to face reality even in his dreams…
"Beastboy!" Robin's voice woke him, it was coming from the stairwell behind him. He heard the fast footsteps of his friends, they were not yet there, but they were close.
"Beastboy! What the hell do you think-" their leaders voice broke off upon opening the door, followed by a shocked gasp from Starfire.
The three hurried to the changelings side, Cyborg gently turning him onto his back so they might have a better look at him.
"Beastboy…what happened?" asked Robin, worry and confusion displayed on his face as well as in his voice.
He turned his head away from the sky to face them, but said nothing. He didn't need to, his eyes were so full of sadness and pain that they spoke for themselves…but only one saw the depth of their emotion and knew instantly what had happened.
"Beastboy, tell us what happened." said Cyborg.
"Slade." the boy wonder and the half robot turned to look at the alien, she was standing, her head bowed. "Slade, and terra took Raven."
"how do you know that Starfire?" asked Robin, how could she have known when Beastboy said not a word.
"how do you not, Robin?" she stepped past them and kneeled beside Beastboy. " so much pain…" she grazed his forehead with a finger. "but it is not physical pain that ales you…it is your mind, and your heart…they are both broken." her eyes turned sadly upon his own. "she took you again…and you tried so hard to keep her away…but her powers are great, and she used you to get to Raven. And even when you felt so weak, you suddenly became a little stronger, if it meant that you could save her. But something happened that was not supposed to…she saved your life instead by sacrificing her own freedom…she did it out of love…not of friendship." Cyborg and Robin just stared at the alien in awe.
"Beastboy…is all that true?" asked the half robot.
The changeling closed his eyes, a pained expression on his face, and coughed, right now that was all he could do. There were no more tears, and his throat was dry, words would not come again for a while.
"we need to get him to the medical bay. Cyborg." he nodded at his leader, and picked Beastboy up gently, carrying him to the stairwell and through the halls.
"Robin…what shall we do now? Surely Raven is in trouble and we have no way to find out where Slade has taken her. Beastboy is also very damaged, I am not sure if he will ever recover if Raven does not return safely to us."
"…I don't know Starfire…" he whispered, this was the fist time she had heard Robin sound so hopeless and defeated. "I really don't know…"
With that he walked away with his head down, his masked eyes staring at his feet. It was a few minutes before the alien followed him, she too felt the despair of her team. She looked at the scene around her, the holes where chunks of roof had been ripped away, water was trapped inside reflecting the red sunrise. Little pools of blood is what they looked like, one for each life that was to be taken. A look into an ill-fated and wretched future. Starfire turned towards the door and sighed hopelessly. "may Xahal help us now…" (I think that's how you spell it, Starfire mentioned xahal in betrothed 'Robin! thank xahal you-' I believe it's the tameranian god, o well if its not.)
"you're one lucky guy." started Cyborg, sitting in a chair next to Beastboy's bed. "all you have is a minor concussion and some bruised ribs, so you'll be a little tender for a while. I'm also really surprised you don't have pneumonia right now, you stayed in that rain all night."
The changeling however didn't seem interested in any of this, and simply stared at the wall as if the half robot wasn't even there.
Cyborg sighed. "look, I know you think it's hopeless right now…but we will find her. We always get through things like this, we just need to figure out how we're going to do it."
"she doesn't think so…" Beastboy coughed out, his voice was raspy and dry. "I saw it in her eyes. It was the kind of look you give a person when you think you'll never see them again."
"you know how she is, she's pessimistic. Of course she thinks the worst of it."
"no, Cyborg…you didn't see her face."
"Beastboy… right now I need you to actually believe that there is a chance here. Because if none of us think we can do this then how can we? How can we expect others to believe in us if we cant do that ourselves?"
"I don't know if I can believe in anything anymore."
"please…do it for Raven. She wouldn't want you to be like this, she would want you to stay the same and happy."
"and how can I do that!" he said as loud as he could, his eyes beginning to sting. "everything I ever hoped for is gone! Everything. She didn't have to save me, I told her not to do it, not to go with him…why didn't she listen to me?"
"because we all have to make a choice…sooner or later." said the half robot. "it was either go or watch you die, and I don't think Raven could bare losing you and knowing that she could have something different. She's a selfless person, no matter how much we may forget it…she does everything for us."
"what will happen… if I never see her again?" whispered Beastboy.
"I don't know, but I think for now it's best not to think about it." said Cyborg equally as quiet.
"…I used to wonder…"
"about what?" asked the half robot.
"why on earth people would keep trying with relationships, even though they were hurt again and again. But I know why now…"
Cyborg raised an eyebrow, "and what's the reason."
"it's because during one of those relationships they found something rare and special…it could have lasted years or as brief as a shooting star in the heavens. But what they felt was so strong and magnificent that it was worth any heartache or pain they had felt before then."
"you're talking about love aren't you?"
The changeling smiled slightly "they say that people who experience it slip in and out of heaven, floating on clouds of gold until the all troubles of the world no longer exist, just you and that person. Then, as the sun fades you fall through endless seas of blue, watching the stars as you go. And every moment that goes by you are hoping and wishing with everything that you are that god wouldn't be so cruel as to take it away. Because now that you have tasted life with that person, you couldn't imagine life without them, and you begin wonder how you ever managed to live before you found them."
"wow…that's deep." said Cyborg. "I think Star makes you watch too many chick flicks."
"it's true though…no matter what you say…everything is true."
"when she gets back, you should tell her."
"do you really think we can do this? That we can beat every odd and bring her back safely?" asked Beastboy.
"of course I do. weren't you the one who said that nothing is impossible, and that we were supposed to try no matter how hopeless and hard it seemed?"
"sorry about that…I was just worried about her."
"don't worry about it."
"…but really Cyborg…I don't know what I'll do if she never comes back…" his eyes started to well with tears again.
"no, you don't think about that." he put his hand on the changelings shoulder. "we will get her back."
"Robin, what is it that you are doing?" he was sitting at the computer, the main rooms TV screen was replaced by a map of what seemed to be the entire city.
"contacting anyone and everyone that would be helpful in our search, that means titans east, police, even citizen alerts. All are to report to us any sign of Raven, Slade, or Terra." he said not even looking up from the screen. "also making a list of all the most likely places he would take Raven." little red dots appeared in various places on the map as Robin typed on the keyboard.
"now," he started, turning to the redhead in front of him. "if we all split up and check these places we will be that much closer to finding Raven and hopefully stopping the entire prophecy. Hopefully we'll find her soon, all of this needs to be done and over. Beastboy's future depends on it, but not only that…this team wouldn't be the same without her."
"not only the team Robin, but we would not be the same. She is one of our dearest friends, all of us will be effected if she does not return."
"yeah…"
"Robin…what about Raven's communicator? Surely we would be able to find her if she still had it."
"unfortunately she doesn't. it's smashed to pieces right up on the roof."
"oh…" Starfire sighed, gazing at the map in front of her. "Beastboy is here is he not?"
"yeah, why?" asked the boy wonder, raising an eyebrow.
The alien pointed to a small blinking 'B' on the map. "if Beastboy is indeed here, then who is that?"