OK so I know Christmas's over by now but… after ending the last chapter mostly in dark thoughts, I felt (and read by some comments) that Jamie should open up a little bit. In the end, it didn't up much lighter but I still hope you like it.

Will you do the hacking as a sign for your being there for me?
Danny cursed. He should have laughed it off and keep watching. By now, he had fir needles tickling his skin where they had trickled down his shirt, and sawdust in his lungs and hair, and the damn tree still wasn't shaped perfectly.
"Alright. That's enough to…" He stopped, his mind trying to categorize the low sound that had been drowned by the hacking till now. Unlike most other sounds coming from behind, this particular one was not raising the hair on his neck. But it was only as he turned around that he realized Jamie was sound asleep and snoring on the bench behind.
In sleep, he looked much younger than he was. Years of growing up vanished into the realms of dreams – children's sleep. In the past year Danny had spent hours watching his little son sleep. There was a peace on Jack's face he wasn't sure he would ever be able to feel, but he was thankful that at his son still felt it. And every time he swore to himself to make sure Jack would keep on living in this peace.

Now, though, Danny couldn't find this peace on his younger brother's face. The years had left, yes, leaving his baby brother small and vulnerable – but still exhausted, still strained.

"He's looking awful" a deep voice put into words what Danny couldn't help thinking. He nodded sighing. "Well, but he's alive."
Joe laughed. "As are we, and we're looking better. Come on, Danny." He stepped next to his older brother so they both could watch the youngest now.
"We never should have sent him there."
"We didn't send him anywhere. He said he wanted to be a…"
"A cop. That's what he always wanted, Danny, and you know that." Joe sighed. "I feel guilty, you know. I mean why do we got to be what we wanted and he just… I mean we stepped over mom's wishes as well."
Danny sighed. "Not now, Joey. Please. What should we do know, quit our job and try to get to Harvard ourselves? Neither of us could ever imagine doing anything else but being a cop. Jamie could. And he's doing it. And it's… changing him" he ended sullenly, still unable to tear his gaze away from his little brother.
"Well, but…"

Joe's comment was snapped off by Jamie drowsily opening his eyes.
"Hey, Jamie, how you're doing? And don't say good now cause we won't believe you."
Jamie's lips tilted upwards for a second. "Alright, what do you want me to say?"
Joe looked at his younger brother for a long time. "The truth."
"Or what? The two of you're going to arrest me?"
Danny inhaled sharply. Despite his latest undercover training not to do so he changed a quick look with Joe. Of course, guilt was clearly written on the other's forehead, and probably on his, too.

"What?" Jamie followed the exchange with his eyes but didn't seem to understand. "Did I just say anything wrong?"
"No you didn't" Joe murmured, shooting another glance at Danny to stay out and leave him do the talking. Danny nodded. As much he loved Jamie, the last months they had spent together hadn't been easy. It was hard to accept that his little brother, the baby he had held in his arms a couple of years ago was an adult now, and attempting to take care of himself. Seeing his own baby growing up so fast – he had just been born, and now he was standing on his own and walking with only one hand of help – hadn't made it easier for Danny to let go.
He would never stop feeling responsible for Jamie, or for Erin or Joe either. They all were the little ones, till the day he died. It was his job to protect them, and he would not let anybody take away this task from him.
But he gladly left the field of talking to Joe. His chances of getting through to the kid were the highest. Well, maybe apart from dad and Linda. And Erin maybe, and grandpa and Nicki… hell, yes. Everyone could get through to Jamie better than he did, lately. Was it too late to ask Santa to change this for Christmas?

As usual, Joe made Jamie talk in four minutes. And as usual, once he started opening up, everything turned out worse than Danny would have thought. What had rang out from tests and grades, Jamie had exceeded what little expectations mom had allowed herself to have, and more than grades they had seen pictures of Sydney Davenport. It hadn't occurred to Danny that both those facts would only increase Jamie's urge to become a cop.
"I still don't get it, kid" he said after a long pause following the outburst. "You love being challenged. Come on, what is wrong with the law? I thought you were interested in how what cops do works…"
"And I do, Danny" Jamie said tiredly and leaned into Joe who had his arm around his shoulders. "But I always wanted this knowledge to do better when I was on the streets. And now it seems as if…"
"Wait, wait. So you mean it's not enough what Joe and I know to do our job good enough?"
Joe sighed. "Danny. Listen or keep hacking."
Jamie chuckled.
"Sorry, kid. Keep on. You wanted to be better than us. And now it seems?"
"And now it seems as if my life's simply stuck there. Preparing for the reality of it. I'm learning what I could do, what I would be allowed to do to help people… to protect Syd, from everything… but I can't really use it. It just feels like I could be more and I can't." He shrugged. "Does that make any sense to you guys or am I just stupid?"

"You really want an answer for that?" Joe grinned. But he quickly turned serious. "But I know what you mean about protecting. Like… not right now when your lovely girlfriend isn't around, but… the longer I know Angie, the more thankful I am to be on the force. Knowing that if I should fail, there's always a brother in blue around to step in and save her."
Danny nodded. "Well said, Joe."
Jamie bit his lips. "So what's wrong about me wanting this, too?"

Joe took a deep breath to shake the mood. "That you don't need it. You're a Reagan, Jamie. You and the people dear to you will always have us."
"Copy that." Danny winced at the mere thought of Linda and Jack hurt. The bad thing about being a father – not that it really mattered in the total – was the nightmares he had nowadays. There were too many things that could occur to a baby, too many ways his little boy could get hurt.

"Danny? Maybe this should have been about cheering me up, not you!" Jamie had regained his spirits. As Danny looked up he found himself pierced by two sorrowful, sensitive eye pairs. That was the unnerving part about the two Js together. They went straight onto him.

"Hey, guys! Jamie?"
Or Erin.
Danny smiled. Those were the times he was happiest to see his sister. "We're here, sis! Just hacking the tree."
"Which you can help us with" Joe added, earning only laughter from outside.

Jamie smiled. "It's okay, Joe. That's my job. I'll be with you in a few minutes."
Danny looked at him. "You're sure you're good?"
"I am. I'm a Reagan, ain't I?"