Author's note: I have been a very naughty girl in leaving out profuse thank yous to my lovely beta MarieYotz. Without her, there would be a lot of noise in these chapters.
Much love to Marie and you all
Jane
Chapter 20
It's not the pain coming in waves, tight and excruciating, that makes her panic. It's Emma's absence. Where is Emma? The pain she can breathe through, soft pants, huffs and whooshes with each wave that starts high in her belly and tightens downwards, making her stiffen and hold herself straight as a board. But this cannot happen without Emma here. Not without Emma. It's not right without Emma.
Her shoulders tense, her body prepares for the next wave of pain. She breathes through it, trying to call Emma to her. It would all be okay if only Emma was here, holding her hand, if only she could hide her face in the crook of Emma's neck and just breathe her in, that soft, warm skin and the scent of summers and wind and ocean breeze.
She concentrates on the memory of Emma's scent, the only one from the outside in this dark cave when the next wave of pain washes through her, like dogs, now, gnawing at her insides, tearing her apart. Where is Emma? This is not right without her. The last dregs of the pain flow out of her and she stands and holds on to the bars of her cell. It doesn't matter if they burn. She's beyond the pain of that burn now. All she needs is Emma. She murmurs softly Emma and hopes the wind will carry her plea to her love. Emma come back because this is not right without her and she can't do it. She just can't do it.
She looks down at herself and her belly is distended, huge and it rumbles with life and hope. Her hand cups it lightly and travels down, softly, feeling the stretch and give of her skin under her dark clothes but the life inside shrinks from her touch like Henry used to do, disgusted by her and one more wave of pain hits then, leaving her breathless. She tries to breathe, soft, slow, deep, but yet another wave of pain hits and all strength leaves her. She slides to her knees on the earth floor, the grains of sand torturing her knees. Emma.
Not without Emma.
Maybe she can wait. Emma will be here soon. Soon. Emma will be here soon.
But the shadow that moves in the dark cave is not Emma. It's Rumplestilskin. And then it's Cora. And Leopold. And the Blue Fairy. George. Snow. They morph one into the other and into the next and then become distinct, threatening forms. They reach out for her and the pain crashes over her once more. She closes her legs, trying to stop the inevitable. There is no way this is going to happen without Emma here. Emma will save her. Emma will stand between her baby and these shadows. This time she will get to keep her baby. But Emma must hurry. Emma, her heart calls softly.
When Emma walks in, bringing the sunlight and the freshness of the air outside with her, Regina holds out her arms to her, a plea.
But Emma's face is closed and angry and when the pain hits again, she has no choice but to let her body do what's in its nature to do. On her knees, she feels her baby being pushed out of her and she is powerless to stop it. Emma looks at her and tells her "you brought this upon yourself, you know?"
Oh, Emma. "It yours, Emma. Yours and mine."
"Sure. No sweat, Regina. I really have the equipment for this baby making stuff with you. Do you think I'm that stupid?"
"Don't let them take our baby from me, Emma." and she feels her baby coming out of her.
"Save your breath, Queen." The fairy states from the line of observers. "You're going to need it."
"Emma, please." And there is nothing she can do now, except grab the baby that her traitorous body surrenders to the world. There is a wail of air rushing into little lungs for the first time and she finally gives into the now ebbing pain and cries out. She brings the baby up to look it over, to count all perfect ten fingers and all perfect ten toes but there is just so much blood.
Snow holds Emma's baby blanket and says "Hand her over Regina. You took my baby from me, now I'll take your baby from you." She waves the blanket. "Hand her over. Give her her best chance!"
"Stop lying, Regina. She cannot be mine. You just had to find a way to hurt me, didn't you?"
"She's yours, Emma, Look at her: magic!"
"All magic comes with a price, deary." Rumplestilskin sings from the darkness, his eyes and skin glinting in the darkness.
Emma turns away and the shadows approach the bars, melt through them into the cell and Snow takes her baby from her arms. "Please, Snow. Please!"
"I'm doing you a favor, Regina. Look at you."
She doesn't. All she can see is her daughter being bundled up in Emma's baby blanket and taken away from her, leaving her arms empty and cold. She wants to scream and reach out but her voice is gone and her arms are useless lumps by her side. So she looks at where the shadows are looking in glee: the immense river of blood flowing out of her.
"Emma!" She cries with her last breath. Emma before everything goes dark and cold.
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"Regina." Emma tried again to wake up the woman thrashing on the floor. She pulled at the bars trying to rip them from the floor. Regina had rolled away from her in her nightmare and Emma could not reach her. "Regina, please, wake up. You're okay. We're okay. Please wake up." But the more she spoke, the further Regina rolled away from her and no amount of kicking at the bars, of pulling at them or trying to squeeze through them yielded any effect. "Regina."
There were only the smallest of whimpers, a faded gasp of breath and tears. Emma would have given anything to dismember her body and pass through the bars of that cell and hold Regina to her. Anything. Then Regina stilled and Emma's name came out, the saddest sound Emma had ever heard and everything went quiet for a fraction of a second. And then Regina jerked awake, thrashing again for the bars, for Emma, desperate to find her. Emma called and called her name but it was as if the woman could not hear her from the depth she was coming from. "Regina, here, look at me. Regina, look at me. Here, I'm right here."
Regina dragged herself on the floor towards Emma's voice and slumped against the metal. Emma fell to her knees and slid her arms through the bars. "You're okay. We're okay. I promise, Regina, we're okay."
But Regina's body still ached for a baby and her heart still screamed her loss. She could hear Emma's voice. There were only sounds coming from very far, calling to her as if in a strange tongue. Emma's hands grabbed her face and there were soothing whispers against her face, against her mouth. "Yours. She's yours, Emma. Please believe me."
"I do. Regina, I do. I believe you. She's mine. I promise I believe." But Regina's hands held only emptiness and her belly was flat and empty and nothing could ever be okay again. The air hurt like knives down her throat and there were only short burning gasps of it that were not enough and tears ran hot, hot and she could not stop, not even when Emma was there, drying them, not even when Emma told her she believed her. She could only think too late, it's too late, and lean against Emma, the bars between them, until the tears subsided and the air did not hurt anymore and her body was as barren and as empty as it had always been.
Even her dreams were cruel.
Emma held on through the bars, kissed every little space of skin she could find and whispered nonsense words until Regina's thrashing had ceased and the tears were dried. Until Regina slept again as if she hadn't even woken up, slumped against the bars between them, her breath ragged and uneven.
Emma held Regina upright until the muscles in her arms burned in agony of the awkward position, until she feared she would let the woman in her arms drop. Then, she slid the sleeping form gently onto the mattress and draped her own blanket over Regina, Regina's own left too far by the thrashing of before.
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Emma stood and paced the ground. Regina was strong but she should never have heard about the fairy dust. Come tonight, they would not even come back here. There was no way she was letting them lock Regina in a cave with no way out. The Prosecutor and Snow and the whole town could kiss her ass. No more dust, no more cave and they could make their peace with it. Or go to hell.
Regina was putting on a brave front but she was terrified and Emma would kill if she had to, to keep her out of this hell hole. They would not come back here tonight if she had to die trying.
She hunted her cell in the darkness of the cave and read the screen: 4am. 4am and she had only a vague idea of what she was going to say and not a clue how it would be heard. No idea how to make a compelling case, no idea how to make any of this right.
No idea how to reconcile the shit Regina had done with the person she was now and what Emma needed from her, for both of them.
She sat against the stone wall, knees pulled tight against her chest. This was a bad time if there was ever one to want her mommy, to want some comfort, because even if she had a mother now, that mother had no comfort to lend her. Emma held vigil over Regina's sleep and scribbled on the pizza place napkins whatever she could think of. She spoke no lawyerese like George. She was the queen of the inarticulate thought. When in doubt, she referred to her fists and let them do the talking and here she was now, trying to argue their way out of a death sentence.
She scribbled notes by the light of her cell screen and crossed them out again. Paced and returned to her seat. And then it was seven o'clock and Regina was awake and looking at her, quietly, an infinite sadness in her eyes.
"It's going to be okay, Regina. I'll get you out of here today and we are not coming back."
"You cannot promise things you have no control over, Emma. You cannot promise things that are unfair. All those things I did, they're done and there is always retribution. There is always punishment."
"I'm hoping for justice, Regina. It's not the same thing."
"It's a pretty thought."
"What happened, Regina? We were fine yesterday." Regina's answer was small shrug that almost went unnoticed under the blanket she was still buried under. "You had a bad dream."
Regina thought of denying it, but then Emma was kneeling in front of her and her hands were touching Regina's face, a soft touch that made everything better. She nodded, the details of the dream, the pain, the loss, her last breath all coming back to her at that moment.
"What was it about?"
It took all Regina had in her not to revert to attack when everything hurt. "It was just a dream."
"You scared me." Emma's hands were soothing and they gave her strength and the will to sit up and take in all that affection while it was still hers to have.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't. Don't say that." Emma touched her forehead to the bars and Regina imitated the gesture. With the bars between them, their skin could still touch at the gaps. It was as much comfort as she could get until the Blue Fairy came in and opened the door. Regina made a mental note to hug Emma then, to fall into her arms and stay there for as long as she possibly could because of one thing she was sure: when the dust was gone, she was never coming out of this cave. No matter what promises Emma made or in what good faith she made them. She had lived long enough to know that for people like her there was always punishment. "You don't have to be sorry for being scared. It's okay. It's just me."
Regina would have given anything at that moment to be able to hug Emma without the bars in between them. Instead, she sought Emma's mouth and kissed her, a sweet, languorous kiss as if there was nothing weighing on their minds or on their hearts, a kiss all made of affection and tenderness and faith.
"I'm not scared."
"You were last night."
"It was just a dream."
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Regina looked in the small mirror Red had left. It was only a dream. Dream Emma was right. There was no way they could make a baby together. And there was no way she could have a baby anyway. That had been settled a long time ago, when her mother had killed her baby girl inside her. But even if it could not be real, the loss was still heavy enough on her heart and her desire for a child strong enough to make her wish to dream that dream again. To make her wish that she could see that little body again, that she could feel the warmth of that skin on hers and the way the tiny fist gripped her finger when she counted those beautiful and perfect ten fingers. Even if she died in the end. She washed her face again and dried her skin and looked at the mirror again to make sure no signs of the dream lingered on. She walked to Emma gingerly and sat again by the bars so that Emma could be close.
Emma asked everything okay but she remained silent. Without waiting for an answer, Emma gave her a white cotton button up shirt. "No more turtlenecks, Regina. Your skin needs to breathe." And she took the burns cream and squeezed some onto a finger and began a painstaking process of applying it without torturing the skin around her neck any further.
"I don't want anyone to see it."
"Then you can wear a scarf. But no more turtlenecks. I'm serious."
"Okay."
"That easy?"
Regina simply nodded and rushed to button her shirt when she heard footsteps on the earth floor. Henry and James walked in, Mary Margaret's picnic basket in hand and the scent of baked goods wafting from it. Regina salivated in anticipation.
Henry put the basket on the floor and ran to hug her; James lost all resistance and pulled Emma to him, softly breathing her in. How strange life was, Regina thought. She had never quite imagined Charming as a father to a grown child. That was not what their life before had been about. But he was good with Emma. He never pressed, took what she gave him, waited patiently for the rest. He was with Emma what Regina was with Henry: a tree waiting for the caress of the wind. And then it was move, move, move again. James dragged a foldout table left by the guards outside, where numerous hands of poker had been played, and placed on it an embroidered table cloth, surely Mary Margaret's, then set out coffee and warm croissants, milk and juice.
Judiciously, Henry pulled coffee away from Regina and handed her a glass – an honest to god glass- of apple juice. He saw her swallowing the bile when she smelled the coffee. "Here you go mom. Apple juice for you." And then, before she could even enjoy it, Blue's steps rushed through the stone corridor preceded by faster, more decisive steps.
Snow's bedraggled form walked in, Blue rushing after her.
"David. Emma. We need to talk."
Behind her, Blue collapsed onto a wall, panting and clutching her hands to her chest.
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"Something awful happened." James first instinct was to scan Snow for injury. He took her hands and looked her over even knowing that he would find nothing to worry about.
"Snow…"
"Not me. Nothing with me. But Emma…" She pulled Blue to the front of the group. "Blue's been attacked." Both Emma and David's heads turned to the fairy. "The fairy dust was taken."
"What?"
"The fairy dust…" Snow repeated uselessly, because Emma had heard the word fairy well and clear the first time around. It was just immense horror on her face.
"The rest of the fairy dust…"
"Yes."
Emma wanted to speak but nothing was coming out. No words. She had no words, no thoughts, only the horror of Regina's nightmare that night. She leaned against the stone wall and slid to the floor.
"Who was it?" James took the fairy by the arms. "Who was, it, Blue. Who did this?"
"I don't know. It was dark. I did not see anyone."
"Bullshit!" Emma grunted out, grateful that her voice had been lost somewhere because she could not , she would not let Regina hear this. "You're lying!"
"Emma! Why would Blue do that?"
"She knows what I'm talking about. She knows fuckin' well what I'm talking about." Blue's only reply was to pull down the neck of the blue habit she wore to reveal the purpling hand prints around her neck.
"Why would I lie about this, Your Majesty?"
But Emma was beyond hearing anything now. There was only Regina beyond the mouth of the cave. Locked behind those bars. Alone.
Snow knelt by Emma's side and tentatively ran her hand through Emma's hair, a few strands at a time and then more, thicker and thicker locks the longer it passed without Emma pushing her away. Emboldened, Snow's hand touched her child's golden head and her shoulders. And still Emma would not push her away. "I'm so sorry, Emma."
"Do you know anything about this? Snow, please, do you…"
"Emma! No! I promise. I promise!"
Emma studied Snow. Never was she more aware that the whole lie detector thing was bullshit. Utter bullshit. The fairy, Snow, they could well have cooked up this together, to ensure Regina stayed where she was and she would never be able to tell for sure. But her mother's hand ran soft and true through her hair, her shoulders and she had waited for this all of her life. She leaned against Snow's touch and let it calm her. She let herself find her mother.
"Emma, I promise, we will work something out. I am calling the council today. I don't want to sit in judgment alone on this. We all know I am not qualified for this. That I have too much to… I'm calling the council. If it is decided that Regina can go free, we will find a way. I swear to you on all that I love that we will find a way."
Emma looked at her mother for a moment in silence. "What about me? Do you understand that I am locked in there with her, only with bars between us? I want to sleep with her, touch her, make love to her, Snow. Those bars need to open."
"We will find a way, Emma." Emma was not quite sure what came over her then, but she let her arms reach for Snow and she let herself hug her like a small child hugs their mother for comfort and hope when the monsters come during the night. They would damned well find a way, Snow thought because her daughter needed her to. "We will find a way, Emma."
"Snow, I'll dig this cave out with own hands if I have to, but she's not staying here, do you understand me? She is not staying here."
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Henry came because he knew that there was something wrong. Regina knew too. She had tried to distract him, to distract herself too, but in the end he just had to come and find out for himself. There was a moment when he actually stepped back. If went back, if he didn't see Emma crying silently on the floor, if he did not see Snow and David kneeling next to her trying to comfort her, he could still pretend that nothing had happened. He could still pretend that everything was going to be okay. But he felt, more than saw the Blue Fairy quietly leaning against a wall as if she was just soaking up the afternoon sunshine. He snuck a look at Regina. She had slumped on her cot and her head was hanging, her chin against her chest. He wanted to split himself in half, one for Mom, one for Emma and comfort them both. But the fairy was standing there, enjoying a moment. He walked to Emma on the floor and knelt before her. "Memma?"
Emma did her best to clean herself, to make herself less scary for the kid, but he was quick on the uptake. "What's wrong?" She wanted to deny, to hide it from him but his serious face told her no dice.
"The dust…" Henry did a quick study of the fairy and lunged to her. It took David's quick reaction to catch him midflight.
"What have you done?"
Blue actually took a step back. "I was attacked."
"Henry." Emma's voice was suddenly calm and she stood. Henry losing it like that made her step up. This was hers to sort. "Not now." Henry gave her a look that translated into what the hell but he stilled to listen.
"You must tell mom, Emma."
"No. I can't. She can't deal with this now, Henry."
"She can. She has to. You cannot lie to her. You can't decide without her again. Remember?"
Emma pulled at her hair until the pinprick pain helped her get centered and in control.
"Okay. Okay. We need to tell her. I need to tell her. And we need to do something. I want her out of here today. Not one more night of this, you understand Snow? Not a single one more."
She pulled her hair into a pony tail which meant to Henry and Snow that she was into doing mode. "I'm going to tell her and then we're going to do something about this and tonight she will be out of here." She paced while she spoke and then came to a sudden halt. "Okay." She took a deep breath and moved to the cave to face Regina.
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Regina's heart beat unevenly in her chest. She did not need to be told that something big had happened. She could hear the hushed whispers and feel the tension in the air. And it could only mean one thing: the shit had hit the fan.
When Emma walked in, her face white and her eyes rimmed with red, Regina knew with all certainty that she was never coming out of the cave.
"I was not going to tell you. I'm sorry. It took Henry reminding me of what we talked about yesterday." Her hands closed around the bars of the cell and she looked Regina dead in the eye. "Please, I don't want you to worry. I promise you that I will sort this. I swear to you." The light of determination in Emma's eyes was a beautiful thing. Regina thought for a moment that she would have fallen in love right there and then if she was just seeing Emma for the first time now. She touched her hands to Emma's face.
"I read once that the problem contains the solution."
"What?" Regina dismissed the question with a sad shake of her head, eyes never leaving Emma's. "The fairy dust… it's gone. It was taken. Blue was attacked…"
It still hit her. She had thought she was prepared for everything. Even for this, this foregone conclusion that she would spend the rest of her life in this cave. It turned out that she wasn't. It turned out that something in her still wanted to live and still wanted to be free and to be those things with Emma. Her stomach plummeted into an icy void and her legs failed her.
Emma held her by her upper arms and slid them both to the floor gently. Then she took Regina's face in her hands and promised her softly "I will get you out of here. Tonight, we are going to sleep on the same bed and I am going to hold you to me and_" But Regina just nodded softly, sadly.
"This is the way it's supposed to be Emma."
"Fuck that, Regina. Nothing about this is the way it's supposed to be. The trial is not over. This is not over. I'll dig a way out of here through the rock if I have to, okay? Trust me. Trust me on this Regina, because our lives are just getting better. I'm not going to let anything ruin it for us. Okay?"
"'Kay." And she wanted to believe. She wanted to believe Emma with all her heart. And was afraid to believe, too. "'Kay."
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Henry was crying softly by the exit of the cave. James found him there. "Hey buddy!"
"I'm not your buddy. I'm your grandson. I'm kid. And my mom is never getting out of there and it's all Blue's fault. How can you trust her? Do something. Do something for my mom. For me. I'm your grandson. Do something for me, Grandpa. Take my mom out of there, please."
David reached out his hand tentatively, trying to establish some sort of contact, something soothing and calming but Henry jerked away from him until he simply grabbed the child and pulled him into his arms. "It's going to be okay, Henry, I promise. We just need to regroup. I'm sorry. I'm sorry this is happening to your mom and to you and to Emma. I promise you, I'm going to do everything I can. I promise."
Henry let himself be hugged then, tears running freely now. David understood then that Henry was a child, not a grown up in miniature. And a child that needed reassurance. He gave him all that he could give without lying.
And then Emma zoomed past him. "Where's your truck? I need the keys." Without hesitation, David tossed her the keys. "Where're you going?"
"Michael's. Somewhere, someone must have a power tool that I can use. Henry, are you in?"
Henry jumped at the opportunity. "Grandpa, take care of my mom, okay?"
"Okay, kid, don't worry. Emma, can I have a second?"
"No."
"Not a request, Emma." And that was as fatherly as David ever got with his child. Emma must have been surprised too because she tossed Henry the key with a "Start it up, kid" and walked back to David.
"Are you sure about this? He's just a boy. Michael… Well… I'm not sure he has forgiven her…"
"He doesn't have to forgive anyone. He just has to sell the stupid machine. Or I can take it from him. I don't really have the time or the inclination to care at this moment. The woman I love is in there, falling apart, so forgive me if I don't give a fuck about what he thinks. See you around, Dad."
"Emma, are you sure Mr. Tillman is going to help us?" Henry asked anxiously when she got into the truck.
"One way or another he will, Henry. I promise." And the truck moved with a squeak of tires on gravel and a screech of the gear box.
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Emma did not park the truck as much as she tossed it into a stopped position to be able to get out. Michael Tillman raised his eyes from his welding and lowered them again, uninterested in what the Sheriff needed. Emma simply pulled the plug on the welding machine ceasing all activity in the shop though the clouds of smoke billowing from the metal continued to rise in the air.
"I need your help."
"Car problems?"
"Do you have a saw that cuts through metal?"
""Why?" And his stance was immediately defensive.
"Because I need to cut through metal. I know where to find one that cuts wood, but that one just won't do."
"You wanna bust that witch out of where she belongs."
Wrong thing to say, it seemed. Emma was in his personal space in less time than it took a match to scratch into flame. "I need a saw to cut metal. Do you have one?"
"Not for her, I don't. My kids finally feel safe. I'm not gonna ruin that for them. She deserves it."
"Not up to you to decide, Michael. The saw."
Michael moved to a cabinet holding all manners of heavy machinery. With a push of his shoulder, he closed the door and before Emma could stop it, the door was locked. "No."
Henry grabbed Emma's hand and pulled her back. "Memma, stop."
She tried to shake him lose but Henry was surprisingly difficult to get rid of. "Emma found Ava and Nicholas, Mr. Tillman and she gave them back to you."
"Because the Evil Queen was sending them out of town. It would have killed them."
"Because you did not want them. Please, Mr. Tillman."
"Daddy?" Ava questioned from the door that connected to the house."
"Papa, Gretel. Papa. Go inside. This does not concern you."
"Daddy. This is not home. I like Daddy."
"This is what she did to my family."
"No, Daddy. This is what Emma did to our family. She brought us together again. Hi, Henry."
"Hi, Ava."
"What happened?"
"Blue lost the fairy dust. The cell will not open without it."
"Just the way it should be." Michael pocketed the key to cabinet in his shirt pocket and made a show of buttoning up the pocket.
"I need my mom, Ava. Emma needs my mom."
"I'm not big on the romance thing, but for my money, Sheriff, you can do better than an evil witch." Henry squeezed Emma's hand just in time, his eyes solely on Ava, pleading.
"Daddy. Please. The Sheriff brought us to you. Do it for her. Please. Papa. It's just a saw."
"Gretel…" The tone was admonishing but weak. "Where's your brother?"
"Computer."
"Get him. Before I change my mind." And he took the key out of pocket and unlocked the cabinet. "Let's get going."
~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~
Power tools are funny that way. They are heavy and ungainly and Emma could not hold the saw upright or she would have done it herself, she would have cut Regina free. Michael certainly did not seem in a rush to assist. In the end, it took Ava's pleading eyes and Nicholas's innocent remark on the heroism of his father in beating old magic. Michael took the tool from Emma. "Stop dragging it. It's not a puppy." He did not spare one single look at Regina. He could not. He would not be reminded of why they were in this strange land, why his children had been on their own for almost 30 years. He released the safety from the saw and powered it, aimed it and started the task mid length of the bar.
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Regina was on her cot when Emma and her party of saviors came in. She wanted to run to her but Michael Tillman was there, him and his resentment and it filled up all the cave. She wanted to walk to Emma and touch her just to be reassured, just to feel like herself again but Michael bellowed "Better get out of the way." He fired it up and put it to the bars. Emma gave her look of see, we're getting out of here.
Sparks flew wild from where the saw was grinding the metal and for a moment, for a very shiny moment, Regina chose hope, hope that a tool from this world would cut through the magic of the old land. She wanted to so much because Emma and Henry were just holding hands away from the sparks, ready for the second they could push all the metal out of the way and rescue her.
But time was passing and Michel was sweating and cursing softly and changing hands as if the weight or the pressure of it was too much and finally the saw broke. It disintegrated into sparks and smoke and dust and there was not a single scratch cut into the bars. They were as untouched as they had been before Michael had come in.
"Sheriff."
"Michael, please. Try again. I'll go get you a new one."
"There isn't a new one, Sheriff. There is this one. And it's a good one. For what it's worth, I'm sorry."
"No, you're not."
"For you, I am. Hansel, Gretel, let's go. Your Majesty." He saluted David while he picked up pieces of the tool.
"Papa?"
"Mr. Tillman? Is there anything, anything else that we can try?" Michael shrugged at Henry's question as if he was wholly uninterested and walked away. But before he reached the end corridor of the cave, he turned to Emma and Henry.
"Dig. I would dig. If you can't get through, trying going under."
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"It's gonna be okay, Regina, Trust me."
"You keep saying that."
"That's because it is going to be okay." Emma placed a kiss on Regina's nose and made a production of kissing her cheeks and her chin until she finally settled on her mouth and kissed it gently, and then with a little more fire. "Trust me."
"I do. But_"
"No, Regina, not buts. We do this, okay? Hold the thought."
"He said to dig." David asked from his place against the wall.
"Yeah. I'll go and get an axe or something."
"I'll go one better. Let's call the dwarves." And he took his phone and walked out of the cave.
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Nova paced the walls of the convent. Something was not right. Something was very wrong. She was back at the convent, her habit tighter than it had ever been and the sore spots on her back where she was sure her wings wanted to come out were numb as if a mad dentist had anesthetized it. And she could not remember. She pulled at her hair. She could not remember. And it was making her want to put a sharp pen through her brain and pick, pick pick at it until whatever it was that she wanted to remember came out of where it was locked in her head. The last she remembered, she was sitting in the court room. She was sitting there where Mother superior could not see her and she was listening to them talking about… what were they talking about? Who? It was about someone.
If only she could remember. But the habit was tight, so tight like a straightjacket and she could not breathe let alone concentrate on remembering. She pulled at the neck of it and gained an inch in give of the material. It was not enough. Her body struggled to get out of it. She was breathing heavy pants and sweating and it was as if the habit was actively gripping at her body not wanting to come off. And all she wanted to do was scream. Tears threatened. If only she could remember because it was like whatever she could not remember was making her swell up and her skin was about to burst and it hurt. The more she tried to remember the more it hurt and still she could not stop.
Nova stumbled through her spartan room and her finger touched something cool and metallic and it was as if it would offer her respite. She grabbed at the scissors and that need to stab her own brain to make the memory came out was overwhelming. She could feel it, the relief of that blade going in through the gray matter in her head and extricating the memory. It was all she could anticipate, how good it would feel. Her fingers griped the scissors and for a second she contemplated the glint of the sharp blade. Funny, she could not remember having scissors in her room. Her room had nothing but a bed, a rosary and white underthings in a drawer.
The habit constricted her chest, her movements, her sanity. Grabbing the scissors, Nova jabbed at the skirt. Not her head. Just the skirt because the sun was bright outside and there were gulls cawing in the air as if a storm was coming and they could see it rolling in. She jabbed at the skirt and ripped instead of cutting, the blade dragging through the wool of the habit releasing her from its confines and all she could hear was the ripping sound and how it freed her and how she could now breathe.
When the habit lay in shreds at her feet, Nova could finally draw breath, deep satisfying lungfuls of it. She sat in her undergarments on her cot and tried again to release the memory in her head but it bounced against her skull, never quite defined, just a blur of pain the closer she got to remembering where she had been, what she'd heard, what she'd seen.
She looked at herself, at her legs, at her arms, her hands and it was as if they did not belong to her, as if they were strange appendages clustered to her, useless and meaningless. Then she looked at her back. She twisted her body as much as she could, trying to see the wings she was sure would be there. They had to be there. Because the wings were the only things she knew for sure she wanted and needed. But her eyes could not see her back and her arms could not touch it and whatever feeling she'd had there was numbed and it felt like only a hole, an empty hole. A fundamental part of herself missing. She needed a mirror. She needed a mirror in a convent.
She felt tears pricking at her eyes then because she was naked in a convent in a body that did not belong to her with a feeling that she was supposed to have wings and she was losing her mind. Naked.
The gulls outside cawed and flew by her window and the sun reflected of the ocean and they had wings. This was all messed up. She was messed up.
She remembered the collection of clothes for the poor that never seemed to exist but in name and concept. She ran to the office where they were kept. In her undergarments. God she was losing her ever loving mind but the pain in her head throbbed every time she thought about whatever memory she had lost and there was nothing she could do but get out. She dug through the piles and grabbed a pair of jeans and a sweater. She held them to her like a life buoy and quickly slid into them. She could hear steps squeaking down the linoleum corridor and they could be the mother superior. Her brain stopped for a moment. The mother superior was her last coherent memory. A shiver of dread ran through her veins, freeing her brain.
She opened the window and jumped through it because there was a feeling in her that it was a bad idea to stay.
She ran through the woods of the convent until she reached the pier. Barefoot. Oh she was barefoot and her feet hurt. What was she even doing here? The gulls cawed overhead, free. The fresh air cleared her mind and again she had a half memory of mother superior walking in the woods. And the then there was only blinding pain again.
Nova collapsed under a bright sun and a flurry of gull feathers.
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It was almost cartoonish the way the truck came to a halt. Leroy had put the pedal to the metal like a pro when he saw Nova collapsing. The other dwarves were left gawping as Leroy ran with his short legs to pick up the woman on the floor.
Bless Leroy, he did not waste time. He picked up the woman and shouted "scotch" and got into the back seat of the truck with her in his arms. A quick shuffle of stocky bodies and more room was created for him and his cargo. "Well, what are you waiting for? Drive"
"Hey, isn't that a nun?"
"Yeah." Leroy looked her over and tried to find something wrong with her. He expected bleeding or bumps, bruises or anything, anything at all. Maybe she'd just had an episode. Girls did that. They had episodes and they fainted. Maybe it was because it made them so kissable. Sort of like an adaptation to the environment or something. God, he just wanted to lay one on her.
"Are we there yet?"
"Yeah!" Dopey cried out in satisfaction at the crunch of gravel under his tires. "Let's go, boys!" and picking their axes from the bed of the truck they all- with the exception of Leroy, marched into the cave. Leroy was at a loss as to how to even get out with Nova still in his arms, passed out. He tried to slide her into the back seat and she opened her eyes at that point, right when he was so close to her.
"My head hurts."
"You were passed out on the pier"
"Where are we, Leroy?"
"The mine. Your bestie lost the fairy dust and now my girl the sheriff cannot get her woman out. We're gonna dig her out."
"Okay…"
"Will you be okay here?"
"Can I go with you?"
"Come on then. They're having all the fun without me."
It was a party by the time Leroy made it, Nova in tow, still unkissed. He took his axe and joined the others digging by the bars of the cell. If he could not kiss, he would dig. Because that was what dwarves were made for. It soon was apparent, however that the axes were wearing out and the rock could not, would not yield. Snow looked at the axes worn to the wood handle. "But these mine for diamonds for fairy dust. They are harder than the hardest substance on earth."
She studied Emma, holding a brave expression on her face. Her heart broke anew seeing her daughter trying to be brave for Regina.
"Let's blow this." Dopey hazard. "I'm sure there is still some dynamite from when we exploded this place when the boy fell and was trapped here"
It was a bad thing to remember. Regina's air seemed to have been punched out of her and she was left hanging on to the burning bars to hold herself up in front of all these people. Emma touched her hand in support and got only a feeble smile and a sigh in return.
"You moron!" Leroy commented. "We explode the bars with dynamite the whole mine will_"
"No one is exploding anything at all!" The Prosecutor made his way into the cave. "The trial is not finished. We do not yet have a verdict. And by the way things are going_" He looked pointedly at Snow and James both with axes in their hands, "I'd say there's reason to believe an appeal might be in order. Maybe even a revolution."
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Snow's body reacted before her mind. She lunged towards the prosecutor - or would have, if David had not held her back - his hands squeezing her arms none too gently. "She is entitled to be there for any judgment. And as you said, the trial is not over. She deserves to be there."
"She deserves nothing but her head buried one hundred feet from the rest of her, but if that is the only objection you can come up with, then, by all means: if Mohamed cannot go the mountain, than the mountain must come to Mohamed." And the challenge in his eyes was obvious. Just begging for a punch, Emma decided. But James was stock still and he had Snow in a vice like grip and there was something that she was not getting so she did what she always did since she first was aware that she did not understand the world around her: she kept absolutely quiet to the point of invisibility.
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"What the fuck was that all about?" Emma exploded once the roar of the Prosecutor's car stopped echoing in the cave. David and Snow lowered their eyes and did that thing they did that Emma hated that excluded everybody else from their bubble. They knew something. "What!"
Regina's hand on hers was soothing. "He has just threatened your parents with a revolution."
"Let him try."
"Emma, you don't understand."
"You're right, I don't. So why don't you tell me in tiny little words, huh, Madam Mayor?" To her credit, Regina did not flinch but it was Leroy that spoke.
"A lot of people will be on his side, sister. Enough to take up weapons and fight for his old throne. He wants it bad enough and he is snake enough to get more support. Especially if he goes about saying that Snow is on your girl's side. People are not very forgiving."
"Let him try." Emma's face was mutinous and angry. "Let him try. What's the worst that can happen?"
"Yeah!" Leroy quipped. "Come on, Snow, what's the worst that can happen. We defeated him once."
"We can do it again" Dopey completed and all the dwarves responded with what to be a war cry.
"And then what?" James asked, and instantly the blood thirst simmered down. "Blood on the street? Just because you survived it once, are you ready to risk it again? Are you ready to risk Nova? Henry?"
"So what? Do we just stay here, cross our arms and do nothing?" Henry spoke up. "Do we just leave mom here?" The silence was answer enough for Henry and Emma.
"No, I won't have it." And Emma checked her gun with shaking hands and headed for the exit. "Henry you sat here with your mom and you wait for me."
"Emma!" Regina's tone was imperious and the face serious and it made Emma look back. "Absolutely not."
Emma was not quite sure what made her stop but all fire in her died down at Regina's objection. The light of battle dwindled and she returned to Regina, held her hands. "I can't, Regina. Not one more night. I promised you."
"For once, Emma, please listen to me. It's one night. Tonight."
"You don't know that.
"You're right. I don't. But I have enough blood on my hands. Don't make me responsible for more. Don't make me responsible for yours."
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"Come on, sister, we'll drive you back to the convent."
"No!" Leroy looked at her confused. "Please don't take me there, Leroy."
"Why?" Nova was not sure about why, just like she was not sure why she was wearing donated jeans and sweater that were three sizes too big for her but there was an urgency about not going back to that place. "Where should I take you, then?"
"Can I stay with you?"
Oh boy! Leroy wanted to scream yes but the fairy's eyes were still glazed over, a dim film of confusion and he was not that guy. There was also the small matter that he had not forgotten about Firefly Hill and he wanted nothing but not to have to relive his decision every time he looked at Nova.
"My place is the size of an egg, sister."
"And it smells like a rotten one." Doc commented from the front seat.
"Why don't we talk to Granny. She'll look put you up in one of those fancy rooms."
Nova was not quite sure why she felt such disappointment. She should have known better, after Firefly Hill.
"Thank, you, Leroy." Nova leaned her forehead against the windowpane and concentrated on the dark landscape going by under the tires of the truck and fought the wave of nausea and loneliness.
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Snow's call came right after Leroy had left Nova and a piece of his heart at Granny's. Ruby had been a pal and came up with some clothes for Nova. Neither Granny nor Ruby has asked much except for whether she was hungry or if she wanted to have a shower. That so why are you leaving the convent remained unasked.
They spoke briefly, long enough only for Snow to ask him to paint a sign explaining that the court would reconvene at the mine, and for his brothers to organize for three desks to be loaded into the truck ready for the following morning.
Then, because he could not sleep, Leroy pulled his hat firmly down his on head and went for a walk and either Storybrooke really was small or he ended up doing three passes by Granny's in his attempt to walk off the heartache and the frustration. On this third pass, he finally understood the pattern: Jefferson walking into Michael Tillman's shop. The Prosecutor coming out of the shop through the house side. Sidney coming out of the same door.
The Prosecutor walking towards Gold's shop and going in.
Oh, hell's bells!
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After Snow, James, the dwarves and Nova had made their way out of cave, the mood was gloomy at best. Regina, Emma and Henry huddled together by the bars, touching hands, unable to voice the worst of their fears. Around them, dust and soot from the saw and the axes were stark reminders of the seriousness of their situation.
"Okay, enough with this." Emma stood and paced. "We may be stuck here for now, but I'm not gonna let that bastard ruin it for us. I'm gonna get some food, some drinks and we're gonna have a picnic. What do you say, Henry?"
She almost didn't. Regina almost didn't beg, but that's exactly how it came out. "Please don't go. Please don't leave me." Then she realized what she was doing. The enormity of it sunk on her like a tone of sand, suffocating her. This was her reality from now on. She was in here. Henry and Emma were outside. Why should their lives be placed on hold just for her? "I… No. Sorry, go…" Emma studied her in that way she had that seemed to be looking straight into her heart or her brain and returned to her seat. Emma's hand cupped her cheek lightly and her thumb did a lazy circle motion on that skin.
"Alright. But Henry needs to eat, so I'll just call Ruby or David and get us something."
"Actually," Henry grabbed his backpack and rummaged through it, "I have a picnic for us already. I thought mom was gonna need this because she hasn't been feeling well and then she didn't need it, so…" He produced a bottle of ginger ale and a family pack of saltines. One more pass through the pockets of the backpack produced two Apollo bars and a bag of M&Ms. He looked sheepishly at Regina with each candy produced but she was only smiling and there seemed to be no telling off in the cards because of all the processed sugar in his bag. Still, he found he wanted to justify himself. "Emma likes candy."
"Hey! Snitch!"
Henry unrolled the mattress on the floor as close as possible to the bars and set out his feast. "What do you think, mom, is this okay?"
Regina only nodded, unable to push words past the knot in her throat, tears threatening again.
"What does he mean, you haven't been feeling well?" Emma questioned as she put her hand to Regina's forehead, trying to gauge any sickness or disease. She couldn't even begin to imagine what they would do if there was an emergency where Regina needed a hospital or a doctor She had been cooped up in here and all the stress, and Emma would not be at all surprised if that was the case. Regina had been throwing up regularly and there were dark circles under her eyes and, god, the fainting the previous day, and had she been so stupid that she had missed Regina being sick? She had a heart in her chest now, and god only knew what Cora had done to it and what if she was sick? What was she to do? What could she do with the bars in between them? "Regina, please, tell me. Should I go get Whale?" And she was already on her feet, ready to go.
"Emma, it's just a stomach flu. Probably all the fried food and David's cooking. Don't worry. Henry, thank you for the saltines." She took one and nibbled lightly on it. She was not at all hungry but there were two people in there that needed reassurance more than anything else.
"Mom used to give me saltines and ginger ale when I was little and didn't feel well."
"Yeah. I lived on that for the first three months when I was pregnant with you." She took a saltine in her hand and crunched on it. "Hey, they still taste the same. Like dry straw. Pass the M&Ms, please."
Regina snorted. "The diet of champions."
"Hey, don't knock it you haven't tried it. Here, have a saltine, baby."
Regina gave her a baleful look but it was laced with wonderment and despite her best efforts, it made her tear up again. She would have to get herself under control. "I'm not sure I like the endearment."
"Sure you do. You just need to get used to it."
She wanted to. She really did. But what right did she have, now that this situation seemed to be permanent? And still, it was a nice thought. "I just might."
.
.
Henry fell asleep with his back against the bars, Regina stroking his back softly as he did not seem to mind the contact but rather, welcome it. "You should sleep, Regina. I don't like the look of those bags under your eyes." She pulled Henry into a laying position and covered him with a blanket, then sat at his feet. Regina slid closer to her.
"I'm not sleepy."
"That sounds like something Henry would say." Regina smiled, something small and hesitant. "Is it the nightmare? Are you afraid you're gonna have it again?"
"No. It was just a dream."
"It didn't look like it was just anything. You need to sleep, Regina. You can't get sick. Not now. I…" Emma pulled at the bars because she could not utter the words. She could not make it even more real than it already was.
"I'd rather you kiss me." Regina laid her hand on Emma's leg and the signal was unmistakable, the need, the hunger, the desire. This was not how this night as supposed to go. In her head, Emma had, naïvely, of course, imagined they could spend the night in a proper bed. Where, she was not sure. Regina's house had been all but ransacked and devastated and her bed was in Snow's apartment. But she had wanted nothing beyond a bed with a soft mattress, plump pillows, clean sheets and thick blankets. Maybe breakfast in the morning. Kissing Regina through the bars was not in that life plan. But when had her life turned out like she hoped? Now, though, it hardly mattered. Not when Regina's skin was so soft against her, nose to nose, lip to lip. Her mouth opened and welcomed Regina. A feisty Regina, a feisty kiss where there was hope and resilience and promise. Oh what a kiss that did things to her body, to the core of her and flooded it.
"I swear I can get creative even with these bars, but Henry is right here…" Emma whispered.
Regina's sigh was ragged and still her mouth could not let go of Emma, peppering little wet kisses, teasing, playful ones. Emma's hand rose from Regina's thigh up, up her waist, her ribcage, her breast. Emma cupped that breast and her thumb found and played with a nipple, happy when it responded to her, stiffening, causing Regina to gasp and push forward into her hand.
"Yes, Henry is right here…" Regina whispered but she did not so much as spare the child a look, completely in the moment with Emma. She took Emma's left hand and slid it up her thigh, pressed it against the vee of her legs, pressed it there and danced against it, breathing harder and harder. "Emma…" And her sweet breath caressed Emma's face, Emma's mouth and made her wet in a way she had never experienced before from a simple touch, certainly never with her clothes still on. Her hands pressed Emma's against her, one at her breast, the other at her center and her whole world was only those two fingers. "Please… Emma…" But she wasn't even sure of what she was begging for. Her breathing lost all rhythm and all depth as she gasped for air.
"Look at me, Regina." Emma's voice reached her from far, far away. She opened her eyes and Emma was there, an inch away from her, her green, green eyes sparkling in the semi darkness. "Can you come for me? Can you come for me like this?"
Oh, god. Yes. Just as long as Emma kept on rubbing her thumbs over her like that, on her breast, on her clit, just like that. She closed her eyes and nodded but Emma commanded again "Open your eyes, Regina, look at me. I want you to be looking at me when you come." She could not have closed her eyes even if she wanted, prisoner of Emma's will. She squeezed Emma's hands and the pressure increased on her center and her nipple was pinched even through her shirt and when the tendrils of sensation, the one at her clit and the one at her nipple combined and reach each other, her body spasmed and she came, her mouth opening to let out a scream. Emma covered her mouth his hers and drank in that scream. "Shh, shh, god, Regina, you're beautiful. Look at you. You're perfect." And she kissed Regina until the woman's breath slowed and evened, until the sweat dried on her brow.
.
.
Regina slept then. She nestled next to the bars, next to Henry and after adjusting his blanket, she lied down with a sigh. Emma couldn't sleep. Her fingers touched the debris on the floor, the shavings of metal she was not sure came from the saw or the axes. No fairy dust, no non-magic way to open the bars. Maybe it was time to see a dog about a man. Or, at least, to see Gold about these bars.
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Leroy was the first one in. He called softly "Hey boss, you decent?"
Emma stood and walked to meet him outside in the corridor. "What's up?"
"Court's gonna be here now. Snow had me come over and bring a couple desks. Everybody else can just park it on the floor or go elsewhere for a day's entertainment. But you better get your ass into gear, boss, because that snake's gonna be here any minute now."
Emma snorted. It never rained but it shit stormed. "Give me half an hour, Leroy. Be a pal and don't let anyone in."
"You got it. A friend should be in any minute now with coffee and breakfast."
"A friend?"
"Nova."
"A fairy? Leroy… I…"
"Nova. She quit the convent, alright? Something's not right with her but she's not like that other one, okay?"
"Kay…"
"Half an hour, boss."
.
.
When the Prosecutor arrived, Leroy was just bringing the desks in. Snow walked in with James seconds later, having ignored every speed limit once she saw the Prosecutor's car going down main towards the mine.
Leroy gave her a look that told her that they needed to talk but she was not going to leave Emma alone with George, not when her daughter had her fuse shortened by an arm's length. Leroy made a show of spit shining the Prosecutor's desk and was satisfied by the look of distaste on the man's face. Immediately, the Prosecutor took his seat and Snow sat at her desk. The first few citizens were arriving and finding spots against the wall. The Prosecutor made a show of bowing to Regina and Emma.
"As promised. The mountain comes to Mohamed."
Regina's back straightened then and she curtsied to him, all mockery and defiance in one single gesture. "Welcome to my home."