HJS-NS-23- Hey everyone sorry for making you wait so long for this chapter but I'm taking 3 English classes that are keeping me busy and my computer had to get fixed :o( I still don't have it back yet but luckily I kept this story on my removable drive so the chapter I had started a while ago I only had to add too. Originally I was going to wait to post this until I had the next chapter halfway written or completely written but I think you guys have waited too long and I am so sorry for making you wait. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I want to give a HUGE thanks to everyone who is still reading this story and those who keep reviewing. Reviews always make my day. I made this a longer chapter to prove how sorry I am and I will hopefully update the next chapter faster. Thanks to Allie for reading over this and telling me what had to be fixed and for helping me find a song. So without further ado I give you chapter 21.
Song: The Grace by Neverending White Lights and feat. Dallas Green
Quote: One Day, One Hour, One minute, one second can change your life forever.
-- Kelly aka HJS-NS-23
No. Oh God, she thought running back to her house and closing the door making sure to lock the door before crumpling on the floor next to the door.
What am I going to do? She asked herself her hands shaking as tried to take deep breaths and stay calm.
Knock knock
Oh God what if he already came back for me? She thought her body convulsing with fear as she tried to stand up. Taking a deep breath she looked out the peephole her heart beating wildly in her chest until she saw the curly blonde locks of her best friend. Calming herself down she opened the door and gave Peyton a half-hearted smile.
"Hey Blondie," Haley said waving Peyton in before sticking her head out the door to make sure no one else was out there and closed the door dead bolting it before making her way to the kitchen where she knew Peyton would be. Even thought she knew Peyton was suppose to be coming over she still couldn't help the uneasiness that sat in her stomach after reading the note.
"So have you talked to Brooke yet?" Haley asked when she got into the kitchen and seeing Peyton put the popcorn in the microwave.
"No," Peyton told her stubbornly.
"Peyt you really should talk to Brooke and ask her what happened there might be a really good excuse. Plus you don't want to lose your friendship over a miscommunication." Haley told her. Like I should've told Nathan what was going on she thought sadly.
Maybe Haley's right maybe I should talk to Brooke. I really hope I was wrong but she does have a past that's less then innocent but she never cheated on a boyfriend, her head screamed back at her. But I have a past too. Everyone does. Okay I will go and talk to her about it I guess. Peyton said making up her mind.
"Anyways how's Derek?" Haley asked knocking Peyton out of her thoughts.
"He's okay. I didn't tell him about Brooke. He should be out of the hospital in a few days if everything goes okay."
"That's really good news" Haley said moving around the kitchen and pulling out the popcorn butter from the cupboard.
"Yeah," Peyton said with a small smile. Pulling out the popcorn and opening the bag she dumped it into the glass bowl and moved to throw the bag away as Haley moved to the bowl and poured the extra butter in it.
Grabbing the bowl and the bag of M&M's the two girls made it into the living room.
"What movie do you wanna watch?" Haley asked settling into the couch and putting the popcorn bowl on her lap.
"How about Pirates of the Caribbean?" Peyton asked browsing Haley's selection of movies.
"Okay," Haley said as the two girls watched the movie, both lost in their own thoughts.
---
Brooke was pacing back and forth in the hallway wringing her hands together nervously as she tried to get the courage to go into the dreaded hospital room. She stopped abruptly and, shaking, placed her hand on the cold metal doorknob. Taking a deep breath she opened it slowly hesitantly stepping inside the room.
The dark skinned man sat propped up in bed his brown eyes glued to the show in front of him as she slowly made her way toward the bed.
"Hi," she spoke softly as to not startle him. Her brown hair curled a top her shoulders.
"Hey," he said back trying to decipher what was going on in her head and how to approach the topic of her last visit.
They listened to the silence the TV droning on in the small room and the clock on the wall softly ticking the seconds away.
"I'm sorry," they both said looking at the other and breaking the awkward silence that had enveloped them.
"You go first," Brooke urged nervously awaiting what he would say to her and wondering if Peyton had talked to him about seeing Owen at her house without a shirt on.
"I'm sorry that I didn't warn you more about dating me but the military is my life. Every day I wake up and I am proud of the man I am and that my job is to protect the country and it's something that is worth dying to me but I really do care for you Brooke. I just love what I do.
The tears silently streamed down her cheeks as she felt her heart swell with pride for the young marine she had grown to love.
"I'm sorry," Brooke rasped out. "I just…I love you" she said shrugging her shoulders. "I'm a selfish person because I don't want you hurt, but you make me so happy that I don't know what to say because I'm not sorry that I don't want you to die." She stood there waiting for him to make the next move.
"Come here" Derek, softly, whispered opening his arms as Brooke walked over to the bed and lay down next to him. His arms wrapped around her frame as she clung to his body neither knowing what was going to happen next.
---
After showing Peyton out Haley started cleaning up the kitchen. Putting the butter and the M&M's away she softly hummed to herself before getting ready for bed and falling into a sleepless slumber the letter burned into her memory and the image of Josh on the operating table. The smell of death in the hospital reminding her that this same man was now after her and she had no one to blame but herself for pushing Nathan away so he wouldn't be hurt saving her.
"Hey honeybee," Josh said standing at the foot of her bed.
Haley knew she was dreaming, but she was confused as to why Josh was here.
"Hi," Haley said her eyebrows furrowing as she sat up in the bed.
"You need to tell someone about the letters," he warned as Haley rolled her eyes.
"I'll be fine Josh. Don't worry I'm a big girl I can take care of myself." Haley told him powerfully trying to believe that she could handle anything as she ran a hand through her hair.
Josh walked toward her and sat on the bed. "I love you Haley, you know that but if you don't tell someone you might join me up there he told her pointing to the sky. "And you have so much potential left here on earth! I know you're scared that Nathan could get hurt but you and I both know you need him. Look at you. You're a mess" Josh told her.
"I am not" Haley denied. "I am fine without him in my life." She replied weakly desperately hoping he would believe her lie.
"You love him. You look at him like I used to look at you, with love and admiration and he loves you too" He told her knowingly.
"You mean loved right? Or lusted? Nathan doesn't care about me anymore…" Haley told him shaking her head negatively.Maybe he does care about me but he deserves better than me. He deserves someone who he doesn't always have to protect. He deserves a happy life and not some sad girl with a past like mine she thought sadly.
Josh looked at her like she was crazy. "He loves you honey bee so much and you two need to face this psycho together or neither of you will survive."
"What are you talking about?" Haley asked her body trembling with fear.
"Be strong, confide in Nathan and you will be okay. Tell him you love him and please make sure he never takes you for granted because you are amazing." Josh told her standing up.
"Wait," Haley said frantically scrambling to get out of the bed and standing without falling. "What do you mean survive?" She asked her brain just now processing what he had said.
"To live honey bee. Be safe I will make sure to keep an eye on you." Josh looked at her once more before whispering goodbye and vanishing into thin air, Haley closed her eyes, smelling his aftershave in the room.
The room filled with a beeping noise and Haley opened her eyes, except now she was lying in her bed and the clock said 6:15 am. What just happened? She wondered her mind on over drive trying to process the information from her dream or whatever the hell that was.
She walked into her bathroom her mind on heavy with all these different thoughts as she got ready for the day.
---
Peyton walked into the staff room her ear phones blaring The Cure from her I-pod as she shuffled through her bag looking for her cell phone before and thinking about what she should say to Brooke when she rammed into a hard body knocking her back to the present.
"Watch it," she bit back her loose curls covering her face.
"Sorry," Skills mumbled shuffling through plays for this week's game.
"Skills?" Peyton said looking up and seeing the man in front of her.
"What dawg?" Skills asked irritated.
"Can we talk?" Peyton asked motioning to the table in the room.
"I guess" Skills said following Peyton to the table and sitting down motioning for Peyton to begin talking.
"I'm sorry," she told him sincerely fiddling with a curl.
"For running into me its fine like I said I really don't want to talk to you" Skills said starting to stand up.
"No for what happened between us…and our friendship." Peyton clarified.
Skills tried to get his face hard and unwavering. Crossing his arms against his chest he tried to pretend he didn't care. I do still love her and if we can't be in a relationship I would still want to be her friend. I really miss her but she led me on and instead of telling me she didn't want me to be more than friends she let me believe I had a chance. You know she didn't do it purposely he told himself. But it still hurt and I don't know if I can trust her.
In better days I've been known to listen
I go to waste,
all my time is missing
"I didn't mean to kiss Lucas that night and I didn't mean to hurt you but a part of me has always loved Lucas but I love you too so I needed to know who I was in love with. It wasn't right to lead you both on, but in the end I did and I miss having you in my life. You are my best guy friend and I miss you." Peyton told him trying to fight the tears burning against her eyelids. Please let him forgive me she thought to herself please. "I don't know what I can say or do to get back into your life as your friend but me and Lucas aren't together…I dunno if we will ever be but I am in love with him but I never wanted to lose you as a friend and I really hope you can forgive me." Peyton spoke grabbing her bag and walking away to leave Skills with his thoughts.
He stood there for a few minutes trying to debate running after her or just saying goodbye to their friendship for good. He still had a lot to think about as he left the teachers' lounge and made it to the coach's office.
---
Lucas was sitting in his room trying to write his book but his head just wasn't in it. Things with Lindsey were starting to get serious and as much as he wished that she could replace Peyton in his heart she hadn't even made a dent yet.
A knock on the door quickly brought him out of his reverie and he walked to the door. "Hey," he said leaning down to kiss the cheek of his girlfriend. He knew he should break up with her soon and quit leading her on but a part of him liked the security of knowing someone really did care for him. "So I was just about to start making dinner," he told her walking out of him room as she followed behind him.
"Really? Well good," she chuckled before sitting down at the table.
"What do you want for dinner?" He asked her as he rummaged through the cupboards to see what they had.
"How about hamburgers…with pickles?" She asked smiling.
"Sure I think I have some hamburger here," he said moving to the freezer and taking some out.
"Cool," Lindsey replied. "So how was your day? Get any writing done?" She asked curiously. Lindsey worked at her dad's editing company and smiled when she found out that Lucas was trying to write a book.
"Not really kind of in a rut." He told her honestly making dinner for the two of them.
"Anything I can help with?" She asked trying to be helpful.
"You want to toss the salad?" He asked pointing to the fridge for her to take out the lettuce and other vegetables.
"Sure," Lindsey said. Anything to keep my brain occupied, she thought to herself nervous of his reaction to the news she had to tell him.
The two finished making dinner each of their minds focused on something else. Lindsey's on the news she had to tell him while Lucas debated on breaking up with her. It really wasn't fair for him to be dating Lindsey when he loved Peyton but maybe if Peyton saw Lucas and Lindsey together again she would finally be ready to fight for them.
The duo sat down opposite each other at the small table when Lucas noticed Lindsey hadn't answered his question about what movie they should watch that night.
"Are you okay?" Lucas asked as he caught her staring into space for what seemed like the millionth time since they had sat down to dinner.
"I need to tell you something," she replied her eyes boring into his as her hands shook nervously.
"Okay whatever it is everything will be okay," Lucas told her reaching over the table and grasping her hands.
"I think I'm pregnant." She told him trying to sound confident, her nervous eyes staring into his shocked blue orbs.
I'm mapping out my ending,
it's never gonna happen now
these things are condescending
with everybody backing down
Lucas felt the air whoosh out of his lungs at the news. He certainly wasn't expecting that one.
---
It was Wednesday and Peyton had decided to go and talk to Brooke about what she had witnessed.
Getting out of her black comet, her converses slapping against the cement as she made her way towards the door, she knew she had to hear what really happened that night. Even if Brooke had done something with Owen, she was still her friend and Haley was right, she needed to get Brooke's side of the story.
Knocking on the door she felt the butterflies in her stomach as she bounced on her feet waiting for Brooke to answer the door.
Brooke was looking over some sketched when she heard the knocking glancing at the clock. She frowned wondering who was at the door before getting up and answering it. The stack of sketches still in her hands. Opening the door the smile was wiped off her face as she saw the curly blonde wringing her hands nervously together.
"Peyton," she said curtly still hurtful of the way one of her good friends could think so little of her.
"Hey, can we talk?" Peyton asked.
"I guess. Come in," Brooke said ushering her into her house and to the living room.
"That shirt is really nice," Peyton said leaning over and looking at one of the sketches on coffee table.
"Thanks," Brooke told her, knowing that she had sketched it figuring it could be something that the blonde in front of her could wear to work.
"Look, I know I jumped to conclusion the other day when I saw Owen here without a shirt on and I guess…I guess now I'm here to let you explain" Peyton said throwing her shoulders up before slouching down again.
"I would never cheat on Derek Peyton," Brooke said sitting across from Peyton on her couch. Owen was just being a good friend. Me and Derek had just had a big fight and I was at Tric and Owen was there and he just took me to a playground to let loose and then he came over and we talked and I was making breakfast and we got into a water fight but he was on his way back to his house when you came over…although I really don't have to justify my actions to you. Peyton we're friends but you didn't need to jump to conclusions about me cheating on your brother. I thought you knew me better than that…" Brooke said trying to keep the hurt out of her voice.
"But I am NOT the same girl I used to be Peyton and it really hurts that you can't see how much I have changed since we knew each other in high school. I think you should go," Brooke said standing up and walking to the door.
"Okay," Peyton agreed walking to the door, "but just so you know I can tell you have changed I just don't want my brother to get hurt especially when he's already in the hospital and I can tell how much he loves you even if he hasn't said it yet" Peyton said walking out the door and leaving Brooke to battle with her internal self about whether she should forgive Peyton or not.
---
"I think I'm pregnant." Lindsey had told him two days ago. Now the two were waiting anxiously for the test results from their home pregnancy test. Both Lindsey and Lucas were a bundle of nerves. Lindsey was happy she always imagined having kids and Lucas would be a great dad.
You pray to stars that can help you get by
and all at once you forget to try
Please don't let her be pregnant, Lucas begged knowing that even if she was he would still love the baby, but she wasn't who he wanted to be the mother of his child. He could imagine their little girl her blonde locks curled like her mothers and her emerald eyes with his love of literature and her mom's passion for art. She would be perfect. But now here he was waiting anxiously to see if he would be having a kid with another woman. The beeping from his phone let them know that the time was up and Lindsey got off the bed and walked to the bathroom getting the test off the counter, looking at it and then walking back to Lucas, a huge smile on her face.
"We're pregnant." She whispered happily her lips pressing onto his as the image of the beautiful green eyed little girl vanished from his vision. He could never have that with Peyton if he had a child with Lindsey it wouldn't be fair to Peyton to saddle her down with a kid when she had so many opportunities to accomplish in her life.
I'd go there if you let me,
they're never gonna find me now
my life is always empty
and in and out of doubt
---
It was Thursday, the night before the big game, and to say Nathan Scott was nervous would be an understatement. This was a big game for them. He needed to beat Damien West. He had spent the whole week watching games and strategizing how to win. He quickly finished benching the weights and got up grabbing a water bottle and draining it before picking up a towel and wiping his brow with it. Ever since he and Haley had broken up he had taken to lifting a lot more.
You're not coming back for me, these things they will never be
I'm so used to being wrong, so put me where I belong
After moping around the weekend he decided he was being a wimp and threw himself into his work. So what if she doesn't love me I don't care…he tried unsuccessfully lying to himself for the millionth time this week, but his heart ached for her. He loved her and wanted to be with her. Walking out of his gym he moved to the living room to go over the game tapes once again, just like when he used to play basketball he would be wired for the game, something's never changed.
He still couldn't believe he told Carrie to come to the game. As he walked out of the office he realized it sounded somewhat like a date. He hadn't meant it like that. Sure Carrie was an attractive woman but she was nothing compared to Haley. He shook his head trying to rid his thoughts of Haley and instead pressed play on the remote and picking up his notebook watched how Oak Lake Huskies scored and who was their best shooters.
---
Lindsey and Lucas walked out of the hospital together. Lucas tried to have a smile on his face and Lindsey smiled happily and held his hand chattering about everything they would have to get for the baby.
After finding out that the test was positive Lucas had told Lindsey they should go to the hospital just to be double sure. Lindsey agreed telling him she was sure she was pregnant and couldn't wait to tell all their friends.
"So, you will call me once the hospital calls you right?" Lucas asked as they reached Lindsey's car and he opened the driver's door for her to get in.
"Yes and are we still on for after the game?" Lindsey asked getting in the car.
"Yeah I will see you after the game" He told her giving her a peck on the cheek before closing the door and getting into his own car.
I'll get back to you,
God knows I try,
but I still lose
and I get back to you,
these days run by,
but I still lose
---
The day seemed to fly by for Haley, which she was very grateful for. The only problem she had was getting her students to pay attention since most of the students were anxious because it was the weekend and the huge rivalry again Bear Creek. But now it was 3:30 and Haley was grading some papers before she left, knowing she wouldn't want to do them this weekend and straightening up her classroom.
Angels say they can make you suffer
they give and take like a vicious lover
After she picked up some of the stuff on her desk and threw it away she started to put the piles of papers she hadn't gotten to correct and put them in her bag to take home. Maybe she would ask Allie if she wanted to grab Chinese for dinner tonight and then tomorrow work on finishing grading these papers so that her students would know how they did on them and not have to wait anxiously for their grades. Haley had her back to the door as she zipped up her bag.
When all this loses meaning,
You'll never want it back somehow
Awake but still I'm dreaming
And never waking up
---
The man walked down the hallway to where her classroom was. He had made a quick detour to the office to find out what room Haley James was in and now he was finally going to have her. He felt the excitement build inside of him as he got nearer to her door. After he had seen her break up with the boyfriend he knew he had to keep a low profile, but now that the loser hadn't talked to Haley all week he figured he was safe and he could finally get what was really his. He saw her, her back to him as he felt his pants tighten as she wiggled her butt.
Walking in he closed the door behind him and locked it reaching in his sweatshirt for the black revolver he had in there just in case she wouldn't willingly grant him what he wanted.
The door closed and the man stepped up and locked the door startling Haley as she turned around and looked up. Please let it be Nathan she thought hopefully, no you don't want to be Nathan it will just be to hard she reprimanded herself.
You're not coming back for me, these things they will never be
I'm so used to being wrong, so put me where I belong
"What…what are you doing here?" Haley stuttered before she looked down and saw the gun in the man's hand.
"If isn't the object of my desire," the man said his eyes undressing the woman in front of him.
"What?" Haley was barely able to whisper.
"I'm here to get what's mine" The man spoke inching closer to Haley.
"Oh my God it was you!" Haley said her voice surprised as she quivered in fear for her life as the gun pointed towards her.
Alone...Where I'm not alone
Alone...Where I'm not alone
Alone...Where I'm not alone
Alone...Where I'm not alone
Alone...Where I'm not alone
Alone...Alone