Dear masturbating asshole,
As you might or might not know, SPAIN was the one who gave me that name. And we all know that he has a tomato instead of a brain.
When people actually want a good place to live. Just ask Venezuela's people. They are getting tired of that bloody imbecile, so they are moving into my city. So I guess, yes. People DO want to live there.
Of course you are one of the safest places to live. I mean, seriously, when was the last time you did something a little life threatening? You've never done something like that because you're a pansy.
Guilty of charge. *evil smirk*
Bien. Do it. I don't want to see your ... "face" or whatever you have connected to your neck. So just hit yourself with the hammer. If you can't do it, I can do it for you. I already gave Caracas and Buenos Aires a beating, so I'm free to whack your head in whenever you want.
Oh *sorry*! Did I mention *San Jose*? Well, *San Jose* is fun to talk about. Why can't I talk to you about *San Jose*? Did *San Jose* break up the little yaoi relationship you had with him~? Or did *San Jose* do something else?
...Wow. Alguien está en su periodo del mes. Me odias? Awww~ Gracias! Yo tambien te quiero.
Ah. Y con lo de mi economía, tendras que llorar en una esquina, porque mi querido hermanito es el país con la mejor economía en América Central. Si me muero, no sera por esa razón. Sera porque vi tu horrible y espantosa cara y me convertí en una estatua.
Signed,
Panama City
P.S. Are you and... what's her name... Oh yeah! Are you and Medusa related? Because both of you could turn people to stone with how ugly both of you are.
Hallo~
This is Matagalpa here~ I'm Managua's little brother. And you and I are the same age! But I'm still awesomer than you~
So, what were you and bruder talking about? *reads letter* wow, you really are a bitch to him.
Anyway~ since most of these are insults, I'll just skip past these until it gets to the San Jose part.
San Jose actually did break up with Diego. It was for a really crappy reason too. Which is why he's been more irritable lately.
But! We're thinking that he might start to go out with Hungary's capital Budapest soon. In fact, he's taking care of her right now because she's sick.
And I wonder something. Why do you not like Managua? I don't remember him doing anything to you…
*skims letter* and there are more insults on here, Spanish that I'd rather not answer to, blah blah blah.
Oh yeah!
Wenn ich Ihnen etwas zu tun, wie dies zu meinem Bruder wieder, was ihn aufregen und was nicht alles zu fangen, werde ich Sandinista auf deinen Arsch zu gehen und lassen Sie in die Kanalisation zu sterben. Sie verstanden?
*waves excitedly* Bye Panama City~
Matagalpa (Friedrich Rodriguez)
And Matagalpa starts writing Diego's letters. He's the German department, so he prefers to speak in German than Spanish. But he still can speak Spanish.
Oh, and Matagalpa was where the Sandanistas had their base, which is why he starts talking about going Sandanista.
I wonder if Panama City knows German…
German translation:
If I catch you doing anything like this to my brother again, making him upset and whatnot, I will go Sandanista on your ass and leave you in the sewers to die. You got that?