An= SMUT ALERT! Yep. Sex is had. I don't normally write smut, but what can I say? It seemed fitting for this chapter. Also, my beta lacym3 is without the web for a while, so I'm posting this without beta awesome. If there are any noticeable mistakes, PM me and I'll fix them. Anyway, enjoy! And review!

Connor POV

I wanted to fucking kill him. That wasn't hyperbole by any means. If it hadn't been for the fact that he was already in poor shape to begin with, I would have beaten my brother within an inch of his life.

My fiancé.

What in the fuck?

"Why?" I asked.

Murph stared at me, jaw set, propped up by his hands on the edge of his bed. "It was an accident-"

"It was an accident you guys slept together? Why her? Why, Murphy? Why?"

"Why the fuck did you leave her?"

"You know why." I said exasperated.

"No, you were gone long before Washburn came to you. You wouldn't look at her, much less spend five minutes in the same room as her! Fuck, Conn! You're clueless!"

"I'm not!"

"The fuck you're aren't!" he sat up fully then, wincing as he did so. "No, you've treated her like absolute shit since we got here! She's not a fucking housewife or a pet or whatever but that's how you acted towards her before all hell broke loose! She wasn't happy before you left, and she's sure as fuck not happy now. You left us here and we dealt with it the best we could. Don't act like it's a surprise that something happened between us." His eyes were chips of cold steel. "If you want to be pissed at someone, it should be you." He shut his mouth, face suddenly pale.

"Murph, you should lay down." I said quietly, backing down from our screaming match.

He grimaced and eased himself back onto the bed. "You've no idea how much this hurts." He said, eyes closed.

"You should just take the damn pain pills."

"Not that, dumbass. Look," he opened his eyes, sincerity written all over his face. "If you really care about her that much, go make things right by her. I'm saying that for Ericka's benefit not yours. I don't think you know have the first clue of how much I've grown to care about her. But I know that somewhere deep down she still cares about you and she'll regret not giving you a chance to redeem yourself."

He paused. "Better not fucking blow it, Connor." He shut his eyes again and put his arms over his face. I took my cue and left, shutting the door behind me. The rest of his unfinished thought lingered with me. "I'm not letting you get another chance if you fuck this one up."

The sound of running water came from the bathroom. I knocked on the door lightly, and without waiting for a response, went inside. It was hot; steam rolled through the bathroom, laying thick on the mirror. Her clothes were strewn on the floor. I watched her silhouette move behind the shower curtain, transfixed. A part of me wanted to see her, to touch her. I kept to the door, hands behind my back. Idle hands are the Devil's hands,as Ma used to say to us.

"Ericka?" I called out.

"Yah?" I cringed at her tone. Angry. Abrasive. Suddenly, the realization that a bathroom was probably the wrong place to have a heart to heart hit me. I'm a jackass. I was about to say never mind but she popped her head out of the shower, water dripping onto the floor. "Did you fucking want something?"

I felt something in me snap. Maybe it was from the fight with Murphy. Maybe it was from knowing he was right and that I had started screwing things up a long time ago. Maybe it was from living with lowlife scumbags for months and having to suppress the urge to kill them all on the spot… whatever it was, I couldn't contain myself anymore.

"Yeah. I do fucking want something." I left the door and walked the three steps to the shower, standing right in front of her. "I want you."

She glared at me. "Fuck you."

"Yes please," I said, bending down to unlace the boots I was still wearing; they were off in record time. I tugged off my shirt and threw it in a corner. Ericka stared at me. "What in the fuck are you doing?"

"What's it look like?" I peeled off my jeans and boxers and yanked the curtain out of the way. It was wet, clinging to her skin as she tried to cover herself up. I stood under the stream of water; it was hot. Hot water was a luxury I hadn't been granted in a long time. It felt like heaven.

She continued to stare at me warily. "C'mon, let it go. Let me see you." Reluctantly, she let go and stood under the water, arms crossed over her chest. I reached out and touched her face, thumb gliding back and forth across her cheekbone. "I won't hurt you, aingeal."

"Little too late for that." Her voice cracked, eyes bright. I felt a wave of shame hit me, but ignored it. Maybe this way, I could get through to her.

Get through to her? By backing her into a corner? Yeah, that's some smart thinking on your part. Fucking idiot.

"I fucked up." I said. "I keep fucking up, but give me a chance to show you…" I looked at her- really looked at her. Bones were too pronounced, and she had random bruises all over body. But she was still beautiful.

My dick hardened even more than it had been, distracting me. My subconscious waged war.

Shit! Not the time for this….

How is this not the time? You're naked with her, in a shower… and you two haven't had sex in months.

She's upset and you're harder than a rock. That's kind of-

Hey, Mr. I Wish I Were Saint-like! Fuck off!

My teeth were on edge as my free hand went to her waist and pulled her closer to me. I wasn't too worried about boundaries or right and wrong at the moment. I just had to have her, right then and there.

I held her face in my hands. "Please?" I was all but begging at that point. She closed her eyes and gave the smallest nod. That was enough for me. I leaned in and kissed her softly. Within moments, it was anything but a soft kiss; hands wrapped in hair, tongues waging war for dominance. I reached a hand down and took her nipple, rolling it around with my fingers. She made a noise; not quite a moan. More like a squeak. A squeak was better than nothing. I'd work with it. I knew just how to touch her to illicit the reaction we both wanted. My free hand roamed down the rest of her body and rubbed her clit. She made another noise; a finger dipped into her as I sucked on the spot right under her ear. She started to move her hips in circles.

That was all the invitation I needed. I couldn't wait any longer. No, couldn't wasn't the right word. I just didn't want to wait anymore. In a rush, I turned her around and pressed her against the wall, angling her ass towards me. She looked back at me, eyes wide. Instead of giving her reassurance or warning, I slid my cock into her and almost immediately slamming into her. She gave a startled gasp, her fingers scraping the tiles surface for something to grasp onto, mouth slightly open and eyes shut. I leaned over and captured her mouth in a kiss.

She began to move with me. It was fast and rough, bodies hot and slippery underneath the water. I slowed down, lingering at her entrance, teasing her, taunting her. "You missed this, didn't you?" I whispered in her ear, winding a hand in her soaking hair, right at the nape of her neck.

She turned around, eyes colder than steel. "He was better." She spat.

I didn't give her or myself time to think about the hit she had just landed. I slammed in and out of her mercilessly. It wasn't about lust or longing anymore or showing affection. No, it was just about making my point now. I had her first. She needed to remember that. I slowed down again to brush the hair from her neck and bite down- not hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to leave a mark. And then it was furious, mindless, emotionless thrusting until I got my release- violent and unfulfilling. I pulled out, rinsed off under the water, and got out of the shower. I left my clothes on the floor and walked out of the bathroom, naked and still dripping wet, heading towards the bedroom, not really knowing if I could call it 'my' bedroom anymore but not really caring.

After finding a pair of boxers in the dresser drawer, I cocooned myself in the blankets on the bed, hiding. I tried to feel guilty, or ashamed, or angry.

I just felt… hollow. No emotion. No feeling.

Just…nothing.