He pushed me into the mattress with one hand on my chest, the other caressing my face with the gentleness of a feather. I could feel goosebumps trailing after his fingertips on my skin. I gasped when he sucked at my jaw and collarbone. I tugged at his hair, trying to get him to hurry up and provide me with some relief, but he just smiled down at me with such a tender love that I couldn't do anything but whine. He smirked in response, biting down on my neck and sucking. I'm fairly certain that will bruise, but right now, I don't care.
I groaned and rolled my hips up into his, eager for some friction. He tutted gently and held my hips in place, kissing the side of my face. I knew he was whispering something, but I couldn't hear him. The rush of blood in my ears made such a task impossible. I bit his earlobe and he chuckled at my playful nature, growling with want when I started biting down his neck and across his collarbone. Evilly, I took one of his nipples between my teeth and nibbled, teasing the other while he shivered above me. I sucked on the nub, tender with my ministrations.
I felt something warm trail over my face. Confused, I glanced up in horror to find blood dripping out of his head. My heart dropped at the sight of the bullet hole. His eyes rolled back into his head and he fell on top of me. I felt the tears pricking my eyes. Please, stop this horrible nightmare. Don't you think I feel guilty enough not being able to save him? Why must you remind me that I wasn't strong enough? Why must you rub my nose in this pile of shit, telling me that anything I do won't be enough?
I awoke, gasping and panicked. 'Where am I?' I glanced around wildly, my room was thankfully empty, but I noticed a note on Medic's bed. Still shaken up, I decided to leave it for later. Checking the time, I noted it was 07:30. 'Ridiculous, I finally sleep in and it's because of a fucking nightmare.' I laid back down, my mind still swimming with images from the dream. 'Who the Hell was that, anyways? Every time I have that nightmare, it's the same person who I'm unable to save, but I never remember their face from the dream, nor do I remember my apparent memory of them.' I growled in frustration, digging the palms of my hands into the side of my head.
I was interrupted by the sound of knuckles on my door. Cursing under my breath, I made my way to it, ripping it open and more than ready to pummel whoever was on the other side. My stomach swooped when I was greeted by Sniper who looked just as exhausted as I was, if not, more so.
"Mornin, Mumbles. Did ya read tha note Medic left for ya?" I shook my head. He sighed and smiled despite himself, "Did ya just wake up, or did I wake you?"
*I woke up before you knocked.* He seemed to relax hearing this.
"Well, let me save you tha trouble; the BLU Medic and I have agreed ta trade roommates." My heart stopped, then plummeted to the deepest part of my being.
*What about your room? Are you alright with them being alone with your stuff?*
"Ya misunderstand, mate. I'm moving my stuff in here, too. If that's alright with you, of course." He averted his eyes. 'He's acting weird again. I don't know if I like this side of him, but I don't entirely hate it, either.' I shrugged and opened the door wider for him to come in. He grinned and stepped beyond the threshold.
"You going back to bed, or are ya gonna go get some breakfast?" I snorted.
*Are you serious? I'm milking this vacation for all it's worth and sleeping in.* He chuckled.
"Thought so. Ya don't mind if I sleep too, do ya?" I rolled my head to face him with my most deadpan expression, "Right, dumb question." I nodded while chuckling lightly. 'It's amazing that he can tell what expression I have even with the gasmask. Then again, I think I do a pretty good job of conveying my emotions without facial cues.'
I crawled into bed, this time my roommate was perfectly normal about our setup. No awkward staring. No petrified glances. No invitations to join him. No unwanted advances. I sighed in relief. Finally, someone who understands the importance of sleep.
When I awoke, the first thing I thought was that the room looked a bit less organized. Twisting up to look around me, I saw Snipes putting one of his boxes down near the dresser, while the BLU Medic took another box out of the room. I rubbed my forehead tiredly, trying to wake myself up from this strange dream. My tongue felt sandpapery and had a strange taste to it, so I got up still half asleep and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Even in dreams I lock doors behind me. I turned up the radio and was in the middle of nodding my head to 'House of the Rising Sun' by Animals with toothpaste suds in my mouth when I realised I wasn't dreaming.
Holy Fuck. Holy Absolute Cocksucking Fuck.
Snipes is moving into my room.
I didn't know whether to cry tears of joy or ones of frustration. 'So close, yet he couldn't be farther from me.' I spit out the toothpaste, my mind whirling with all of the horrendous outcomes that could occur because of this. 'What if he hears me while I'm in the middle of a nightmare? Or worse, a wet dream?' I froze at the thought. 'I wouldn't mumble his title, would I? Would he let it slide, or would he be weird around me?' I felt my stomach drop. 'Snipes avoiding me would be unbearable.'
Large knocks on the door startled me, "Pyro, you about done in there?"
"Yeah, just lemme-" I coughed uncharacteristically.
"Y'alright? Not dying in there, are ya?" I rolled my eyes before putting my mask back on.
*No, a bit of toothpaste decided it'd be fun to take a detour down the wrong tube.* He chuckled lightly.
"How ta bring down a Pyro: Bring a tube a toothpaste into battle with you." I chuckled at the thought. I opened the door to find a very smug Sniper leaning against the wall.
*They'd have some trouble getting the paste past my vents.* He sniffed and looked off to the side.
"Not like they couldn't put a bit more effort into their fighting, anyways." I shook my head with a laugh.
*Some put too much effort into it.* He nodded in understanding, *Anyways, I'll see you in the mess hall later on, yeah?* He smiled and agreed.
I was in the middle of a conversation with Engie while sipping my morning smoothie. We were talking about our favorite types of music and what makes a good song versus a classic song.
"Ya get the right cords and vocalist, you're signed right up for the classical list in my book." Engie took a bite of his bacon.
*I disagree. I think what makes a classic is making a rocking song that can have multiple messages for the audience. For example, one person hears a song that's just lighthearted and happy while another person hears a well-hidden warning to keep in control of one's life.* I smirked to myself as I caught his disbelieving glance.
"Y'all talkin' about a particular song there, Mumbles?"
*The Loco-Motion.* He chuckled at my choice in music.
"Yer an odd one, but that's why we keep ya round. Keep things interestin'." I shrugged.
*I have to earn my keep somehow.* We clinked glasses and took a drink.
"Say, have you been relieved of nursing duty yet?"
*Yeah, The Baguette told me he was feeling better yesterday. Turns out he was suffering from stress sickness or something like that, which I didn't even know was a thing.*
"Fella needs to learn to relax if you ask me. He's wound up like a spring ready ta jump."
*Sounds more like a Scout than a Spy. You think he skipped that part of training in Spy School?*
"From what I understand, he's only been like that for the past couple of weeks. Maybe months. His teammates would know better'n me." I hummed thoughtfully.
*You think something triggered the change?*
"Well, he has been obsessing over you for how long…?"
*You're saying I caused a Spy, a cool, collected, reptilian man to suddenly get all warm and fuzzy? We've both been fighting on the same field against each other before this, I don't see how any sparks could ignite a fictional romance in his mind from being burned alive or hacked to death.*
"Maybe it was tha spying and getting to know ya from a distance that lead 'im to target you?" Engie suggested.
*He could've done that with anyone!*
"You're not anyone, though. I think he realized there was more to the Pyro within tha last couple of weeks. Ya think he'd be willin' ta just be friends?"
*You're kidding, right? After everything that's happened? If he does somehow agree to 'just be friends', he'll want to be more before long. When he finds I'm not willing to give that to him, then what?*
"Mumbles, I think y'all need ta take a deep breath. Yer thinking too far into all a this."
*If I don't, shit hits the fan before I can even get my umbrella. Quite frankly, I'd rather not ride out another shitstorm if I can avoid it.*
"Ahem!" Engie and I turned to see the Baguette in the doorway to the mess hall. His expression was neutral, but I could see he was hurt by what he'd heard. "Gentlemen." He greeted courteously. Beyond that, he merely slipped past us and went straight for the kitchen.
After a fair amount of silence stretched on between Engie and I, he spoke up, "I get that what he did was unforgivable, but maybe y'all could give 'im a break? This isn't just hurting tha snake, after all." I furrowed my eyebrows at that.
*What's that supposed to mean? Who else could this be hurting?* He shook his head and sipped at his coffee.
"Ya can't be that stubborn, can ya?" He muttered under his breath.
*Wait, you think that by treating the Baguette this way, I'm hurting myself?* I asked in disbelief. He nodded slowly as if talking to a small or especially slow child.
"Before y'all go off on a rant, lemme ask just one thing: did y'all help tha Snake recover because tha Scout asked ya to?" With that, he downed the rest of his coffee and left me shell-shocked in my seat. 'I did, didn't I? There was no other reason for me to stick my neck out for him. Hell, I should've let him suffer.' I readjusted into my thinking pose. 'So why didn't I? After all the bloodshed between the two of us, how could it be possible that I've grown used to him? Is that even what this is? Do I… already consider him a friend? Sure, I told him that while I was helping him recover, but after everything… Have I become numb to my memories? Or have they abandoned me altogether? I still remember, yet the feelings that followed are blurred. Maybe I just haven't been getting enough sleep lately.'
I sipped at my smoothie, contemplating everything that has happened thus far. 'He hasn't given me a reason to believe he's using me for intel or any other manipulation, then again, he could just be covering very well. Maybe I can give him a chance… If only to be civil to him.'
He came back out of the kitchen and sat down a couple of tables over from me sipping at a cup of coffee. I found myself incredibly humbled. How could I possibly approach him after bad mouthing him behind his back? Shamelessly. The room felt suffocating all of a sudden. Without a second thought, I abandoned my smoothie and jogged outside to get some fresh air.
Through the vents, us Pyros don't get as refreshing an effect from outdoor air, but it still beats the stale air in the Base or the blood-saturated and gunpowder-laden air in the Fort. If I were to describe it, I would compare it to being close to a cold drink while dehydrating, but someone hands you some freshly brewed tea instead. It's nice, but not quite what you want. Not even close.
Still, I gazed up at the sky, chest heaving and desperate to escape the suffocating feeling that crept up on me. If ever in my life I were to describe guilt, this would be it. Problem is, I don't know how to go about rectifying the problem. After all, it's not like I can just go up to Spy and chat like everything is okay. After treating him worse than dirt, I doubt even the worst human would consider that.
I felt eyes on the back of my head and turned to see that Engie had followed me out to the porch. He handed me my smoothie and leaned up against the railing beside me.
"Y'all want my advice?" He turned to me and asked. I hesitated before nodding. He smiled warmly, patting me on the shoulder. "Make him something good to eat. Invite him to dinner or somethin'. Talk to tha guy. If he doesn't want anything to do with ya, then that's it. After all, y'all have been tryin' ta get him offa yer back for awhile now, haven't ya? The way I see things, this could go one of three ways: He outright refuses to join you, he misunderstands it as a date and gets angry, or he accepts the dinner as an olive branch from you and decides to build from there. What's tha worst that can happen? D'ya trust him?" I hesitated again.
*Yes.* I whisper. After all this time, I never thought I'd be able to. Never in a million years did I consider a friendship with the enemy Spy possible. I always thought I'd be too bigoted to give him a chance. But through all of his determination, his persistence, I've found myself trusting the bastard. Literally the one person I shouldn't trust an ounce if I valued my life or took my job seriously at all. How has it come to this?
"What were y'all thinking of makin' him?" Engie asked lightly, seeing I was deep in thought. I guess he didn't want me mulling about in my head too much. I tend to, but I think it's more fun that dealing with reality, anyways.
*You think he'd like chili and cornbread?* I ask sheepishly. Engie scoffs.
"Might be a bit on the heavy side, but I'm sure he'll scarf it down, anyhow. Afterall, you put the effort inta making it just for him."
*Well, not exactly just for him. That's what I'm making tonight. It's my turn to cook. I just thought maybe I could share some with him…?*
"Heck, I didn't know it was yer turn ta cook already! I'm sure he'll love it anyhow, though. Ya have all tha ingredients?" I looked down into my lap and shook my head.
*Can you come shopping with me?*
"Aw, heck Mumbles, of course I will." I beamed behind my gasmask and scooped him into a bearhug.
*Thank you!* I mumbled enthusiastically. *Lemme get my purse real quick, yeah?* He laughed as I ran back to my room, but I'm pretty sure I heard him say he'd be right there when I returned. I near-kicked the door in and snatched the flower-themed purse from atop my dresser before booking it back to the porch, earning a few odd glances from both my teammates and my enemies.
The drive to the town was full of Engie and I arguing over which station played more classic songs and an eventual fight between him and I where we consistently switched the station after one song ended, leaving the other fuming until the end. Luckily, I had my station switched from about ten seconds from the end of one of his songs. I grinned cheekily from the inside of my mask as soon as it ended and reached for the radio, only to have my hand smacked away.
"Don't touch that darn thing." I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest in a huff, choosing to look out the window for the rest of the song. Truth be told, it was damn catchy, but it was country, and I wasn't particularly fond of the lyrics. It had a good beat, though, so I didn't fight too much until the song ended.
The grocery store was measly, to say the least. Compared to all of the super stores in all of the big cities these days, it was more likened to a Mom-and-Pop store. It usually had all of the essentials, but it was sometimes hard not to buy the whole store. Literally. That's why I brought a list! I don't like to, but sometimes I can adult. It counts, even if the list is written in crayon. Multiple colors. In order of color. It's the little things in life that make me happy. I hopped out of the truck and skipped into the store, eager to get more than what was on said list.
The store clerk waved to us, recognizing us instantly as regulars. He changed the station on the radio just for me. I laughed when Engie's face turned sour. Waving back to the clerk in thanks, I began loading up the basket. Ground beef, green peppers, onions, canned beans, chili powder, tomato paste, cornbread mix, plenty of apples and oatmeal. Engie glanced at the last two with a giant question mark hanging above his head. I merely shrugged and skipped down the aisle. We have the rest of the ingredients back at base.
"How's the weather over at the fort?" The clerk, Tom, asked as he rang up each item.
*Same as it is over here. It's cleared up a bit since the ceasefire was called.* At his look of recognition, I waited for him to begin his usual rant.
"Oh yeah! I heard there was some new construction work available in the area! I knew it was in your general direction, but heck, I didn't know you guys were affected by the accident!" I tilted my head in confusion. "Oh, some of the regulars say there was this huge fire near you guys! Now that I think about it, the job listing said it was for a living quarters, so I assume it was a Base that burned down? Was it your base, or the BLU one?" I shook my head and laughed at his constant chatter.
*The BLU one burned down.*
"Oh, good! I'm glad they got attacked and not you guys." He shot a charming smile while bagging the groceries. "You think the Demoman fell asleep while lighting one up? Or maybe the Scout was playing around with the Pyro's flare gun?" He mused almost to himself, handing us the groceries after I paid.
*Nah, I burned the place down.* His jaw dropped and he took on a look of awe.
"All by yourself?" I turned and waved goodbye, leaving him to squeal in righteous fandoming.
I loaded up the truck with all the groceries while Engie got in the driver's seat, watching me curiously. Finally, I glanced up and shrugged.
"Y'all don't normally tell others about what it is ya do on tha field."
*It's what happened. Besides, he probably won't have any other customers for a while. This will at least give him something to sketch or mull over.*
"Y'all know he was flirtin', right?" I reared back and shot Engie a glare.
*No, he wasn't! Just because he was being nice doesn't mean he was flirting, Engie!*
"He definitely was." Engie said with finality. We drove the rest of the way listening to his station.
As soon as the truck stopped, I leapt out to get started on dinner for 10 hungry mercenaries. Luckily, the gasmask prevented most of the chopped onions from stinging my nose. I noticed belatedly, that as soon as I stepped into the kitchen, most all of the mercenaries cleared out of the kitchen and dining room. Pouting slightly, I muttered under my breath, *Rude.*
I turned on a nearby radio and set to work, dancing and jamming out while preparing the supper for tonight. Occasionally, I'd have to consult a list of recipes from my notebook, but I mostly had these memorized by now. Slowly, the mercenaries started trickling back into the dining room. I heard many mumbled compliments, usually followed by a joke about burning the meal. I personally felt scandalized. How could they think that I, The RED Pyro, would waste so much food by burning a meal? Well, maybe if it was someone else's turn to cook and I didn't like the menu, but not regularly!
"Oi, Mumbles." I glanced over my shoulder at Snipes to see him grinning at me. He gave me a quick wink before turning around, "Smells good, whatever you're making!" I felt my entire body go flush at the compliment. Had I not over compensated for my lack of attention, I surely would've burned everything. Kinda hard to burn chili, though. Thank whatever higher being is looking out for me. Must've seen my poor fried nerves and took pity on me.
I began adding the finishing touches, including honey and sugar on the cornbread. I have a bit of a sweet tooth, so sue me. Then I called out, *Dinner's ready!* As soon as I had two platefulls for myself and the BLU Spy. I was nearly to the hallway when Snipes hollered out to me.
"Yer not joinin' us, mate?" Then he glanced down at the two plates I held. I shook my head. I knew he wouldn't like what I'd have to say next, but he'd pry if I didn't say it now, anyways.
*Gotta go apologize to the Baguette.* He frowned and glared at the extra plate with an underlying anger.
"Just because we're on ceasefire," He began, drawing his eyes back up to my own slowly, "Doesn't mean he won't hesitate to betray you. I wish you wouldn't talk to him anymore, but if you feel it's for the best." He gave a half-smile that was entirely forced. I felt bad for putting him through this, but I needed to know for myself where this thing with the Baguette was going. I knocked on his and the RED Scout's room, knowing Scout was in the dining hall, I figured this would be the second best place to find him.
*Baguette? You there?* I couldn't hear anything coming from the other side of the door, but that didn't mean he wasn't just ignoring me. *Well, I'd hate for my words to fall on deaf ears, so if you're in there and can hear me,* I paused, shifting uneasily. *I'm sorry. I know I've been a bit of a bastard. I made us some dinner, it was my turn to cook tonight, but if you don't want it that's okay, too.* Silence. I sighed and sat down outside of the door.
I don't know how long I was dozing, but I was awoken by a slight nudging to my shoulder. Glancing up, I saw the Baguette smoking one of his cigarettes, gazing down at the food impassively. He seemed to be working together what happened.
"Would you like to come in?" He asked in a level tone. I nodded, not knowing what to expect. He smiled then. It was gentle and loving. His eyes had a softness to them that I could never hope to match on my best of days.
The room was still a mess- half of it was, at least. Spy's half was tidy, but Scout's was as messy as you'd expect any normal teenager's room to be. He patted next to him as he sat down on the bed. Sitting, I handed him the cold food.
*Sorry it grew cold before you could take a bite, I didn't know you were busy earlier.* He paused before he resumed eating. *I also wanted to apologize for my behavior recently. I've been a rather awful friend, haven't I?* I chuckled lowly to myself. *Quite frankly, I don't even know where we stand sometimes. Some days I feel like you're the best friend I could ever ask for, other days I feel like ripping you to shreds and screaming bloody murder for you to leave me alone.* A long silence filled the room. I felt his hand rub gentle circles on my back and I leaned against him. *Why am I like this?*
Author's Note: Sorry for the wait, guys! Writer's block is a bitch and life has been rather trying lately. I wanna give a shout out to Corisk for supporting me though. Thought I'd give an extra long chapter for the wait anyhow. You guys deserve it!