Once it hit, the reality was overwhelming. Spock wondered how he had never seen it before. Sure, he'd realized that Nyota was getting more forgetful, but he'd always seen it as something that happened normally with age, something minor. Now, looking back, it seemed so obvious. She had been acting so strangely. Spock couldn't believe that he hadn't realized it until now.

After the doctor finished examining Nyota, he told Spock what he already knew. That Nyota was having trouble forming new memories and was losing the old ones. She was lost in time. She was lost in space. The loss was already fairly advanced and would only advance further.

Spock was in a dark mood as he brought Nyota home. The shock of the realization that she was the best that she would ever be again was almost paralyzing, and then there was the despair in knowing what he had already lost. And worst of all, she didn't even understand what had happened.

"Why are you so angry?" she asked in about an hour, after Spock, who had reached the section on selecting a comfortable diaper in the Home Care Guide he had been given at the hospital, had slammed his PADD across the table in dismay. Eventually, he pulled himself together and called Nadine, who was as shocked as he was. She came over, and they sat together soberly, punctuated by inquiries from Nyota over what had happened.

After a few days the shock wore off, and Spock began to resume his normal routine. But now, he realized he had to be more cautious. He always locked the door when Nyota was out of his sight, and he set the appliances to respond to his voice only. This annoyed Nyota to no end, and the first time she complained, Spock was honest with her. And she screamed at him, accusing him, among other things, of being cruel, unfair and not really loving her. So the next time she asked, he simply stated,

"I will take a look at it," and trusted that by the time he did, she would have forgotten all about it. He felt dishonest, tricking her, but it seemed preferable to having confrontations with her several times a day.

At first, with his new precautions, Spock felt reasonably safe leaving her at home, but as the months went on, he began to worry. Twice, she got out of bed and hurt herself, not remembering that she needed a wheelchair. Once, Spock got home to find most of the oven dismantled. He assumed that being unable to get it to work, she had tried to fix it herself.

The next day, Spock went to a baby store and picked out some child hazard shields and a set of bars he could attach to Nyota's side of the bed. As he looked around, he couldn't help but think about back when he and Nyota had been setting up the nursery. They had only bought cute things, like toys and clothes and mobiles. Sadly, they had never reached the point of having to worry about anything as practical as child-proofing. And then he wondered if T'Annis even needed to child-proof, or if the bond was enough to keep Sunak out of trouble.

"Do you have a boy or a girl?" the man at the counter asked when Spock put down his items.

"A boy and a girl," Spock answered, seeing no reason to lie to a complete stranger.

"How old are they?" the man continued, packing the shields into a box.

"The boy is one and the girl is seventy-nine," Spock stated in monotone.

The man looked momentarily taken aback, before giving Spock a wink.

"You got to be careful about that," he said, "I bet you'd already got rid of the baby stuff and everything."

"Tell me about it," Spock responded, not wanting to elaborate.

As the man continued packing, Spock saw a Music for Children book and, thinking of Sunak, impulsively added it to his order. But as he walked out the door, he wondered what he would do with it. Considering he was never around, randomly sending a book seemed like a rather hollow gesture. Eventually, he realized that Sunak would be one Vulcan year old soon, and decided that he would send it then.

That night, Spock installed the bars at the side of the bed, and the shields in front of the appliances. The next morning, he work up to an angry Nyota, wondering why there were bars keeping her in bed. She eyed him suspiciously as he explained that she needed a wheelchair, but eventually he got her into it.

Spock told Nadine about the safety improvements that he had made to the house a week later, but instead of being pleased, she looked concerned.

"Dad," she said, "I'm worried about you. All you ever seem to do is go to work and take care of Mom."

"What would I do?" Spock asked defensively.

"I don't know, you used to go to services all the time. I remember Mom always saying that if you were going to get a babysitter, you should at least be doing something more fun."

Spock thought about it, but it didn't seem to be so important anymore.

"Let me stay with Mom tomorrow night, so that you can get a break," she implored, and then added weakly, "I mean we need some girl time anyhow."

So the next evening, Spock went to the temple, and it was nice to get some peace, and to talk to all the regulars he hadn't seen for awhile. But when he got home, he found Nadine sitting at the table crying.

"She hit me!" she screamed as soon as Spock walked in. She moved her hands away from her face, and Spock could see long scratches down her cheek.

"She didn't know who I was!" Nadine went on, "She thought I was robbing the place ..."

And she continued to sob, as if she was sure that her mother had never thought her to be capable of much more than that.

Nadine still came by to visit sometimes, but she never offered to care for Nyota again.

A few weeks later, Nyota called Spock at work. He had programmed the Comm. so that she could call him with a single touch, and she often called several times a day. He waited for her to complain that something she had tried to use was broken, or ask if he knew where she'd left something. Instead, he heard a wailing noise in the background.

"There is this noise and I can't figure out what's making it," Nyota complained. Spock felt his chest tighten involuntarily.

"Nyota," he said, sounding much calmer than he was feeling, "That is the fire alarm. You need to get out of the house and call the fire department."

But then, he called himself and made a dash for his car, realizing that she was capable of neither.

The firefighters had already extinguished the fire by the time Spock arrived. It was just a small one, in the closet. Spock and Nyota had always kept a steamer in there, to keep their Starfleet uniforms at their very crispest. Nyota had thrown some clothing on top of it.

Spock had never even thought of the steamer. It seemed like there were so many hazards and he could never think of all of them. For the next few days, Spock stayed home to care for Nyota. But he couldn't relax like he had before. Every moment, he was worried that she was up to something. Even his sleep was disturbed, as he kept awaking with a start, afraid that Nyota had somehow got out of bed.

Spock said that things were fine at Nyota's next doctor's appointment, but when the doctor asked him specific questions, he couldn't lie. Yes, Nyota was starting to endanger himself. Yes, he was anxious. Yes, people were complaining that he had become withdrawn.

"I think that it is time that she be moved somewhere that can provide full-time care," the doctor told him.

"But ..." Spock objected, but he couldn't think of any logical objections. It was just that they had spent so many years, so many decades together that Spock just couldn't imagine life without her.

"She is starting to endanger herself and will become increasingly difficult for one person to care for," the doctor pressed on, "I know that they have room at the VA Hospital in South Bay. I think it's the best for both of you."

Spock took Nyota home. Then, calmly, rationally, not quite letting it sink in, he called Nadine for her opinion. She agreed with the doctor.

"You're burning yourself out for nothing," she said at one point, "Mom'll get good care there, and she'll probably like it better there than being alone in the house all day."

And logically, if not emotionally, Spock had to agree.

So, slowly, reluctantly, he made the arrangements. And afterwards, with a sickening feeling in his stomach, he realized that this was it. After almost eighty-five years of marriage, they weren't going to live together anymore. She would never come home again.

That night, Spock hoisted Nyota into bed, and then lay down next to her. He shifted her on top of him, like they had slept together so many times when they were first married. She was still so light, and she still had the same eyes and there was still the same slope in her shoulders that he had run his hands across so many times. As he stroked her hair and pressed his cheek to hers, soft tears began to flow.

"Don't cry," Nyota squawked, "Or you won't get any ice cream."

And then the tears ran freely.

A/N: Reviews are muchly appreciated :)