Disclaimer: No. Just no.

Chapter 21 - Mello's Return and Near's Pet Peeve

Aizawa rolled his eyes as the three teens who had stayed in headquarters continued to horse around. He may have accepted their story yesterday, but he still couldn't fully get his head around the idea that they were responsible for such a large portion of the Earth's population at such a young age.

And when they acted as immature as they were at the moment, Aizawa thought, watching as Sayu teased Aryn and Near about their apparent nocturnal activities, Aryn blushing madly and Near appearing to ignore her, it was even harder to comprehend. They looked like they were only teenagers, nothing more.

Aryn glared at Sayu. "Yeah, well, at least I don't have a crush on my brother's ex-girlfriend, who happens to be a model."

"Is it that obvious?" Sayu whispered, blushing.

Aizawa frowned. Since when was Misa Light's ex-girlfriend? Then Aizawa realized that he was beginning to sound like a gossip-hungry teenage girl... or Matsuda. He promptly beat that line of thought down into the 'never-think-of-again' box. He was not Matsuda, and would never be compared to that idiot. Not as long as he had breath in his body. Or even afterwards.

Suddenly, two bodies fell from the ceiling and landed in a heap on the floor. Matsuda shrieked, Mogi twitched, but none of the teens reacted overmuch.

Aryn glanced over at the two-person pile-up on the floor. "Oh, hey Light, Kuromisa. Weren't you supposed to be getting here via normal means, not falling from the ceiling?"

Aizawa was mildly impressed with how well she was taking her brother falling from the ceiling with no warning.

Light sprang to his feet looking around wildly. "Where is it? I swear, if I ever..." Light froze in place, staring at something in the room intensely. "COMPUTER!"

Aizawa frowned, looking from the computer, to Light, who was twitching and staring at it angrily.

"...Light, are you okay?" Near asked after a moment of stunned silence on the part of most of the room, whimpers on Misa's part, and growls on Light's part.

Light glared at the computer even harder, if that was possible. Aizawa was impressed with how well the teen could glare.

"We got fucking eaten by a possessed computer and ended up here," Light growled.

Aryn stared for a moment. "...I'm sorry, I could've sworn you just said that you got eaten by a possessed computer. Care to repeat what actually happened?"

Light was about to respond, most likely with some form of an angry retort, when another person fell from the ceiling. Misa shrieked and hid behind Sayu, but no one else seemed to react very much.

Aizawa sighed. When had the world become a place where no one panicked at the sudden appearance of a full-grown man - or anything really - from the ceiling? Or, more specifically, his world. Aizawa really didn't care if every other person in the world was perfectly fine with things falling from the ceiling, he wasn't!

An average looking man, wearing a suit, stood up from the floor and began looking around, obviously scared out of his mind.

"W-w-w-where am I?" the man stuttered. "T-t-the comput-t-ter..."

Aryn sighed. Yet another innocent bystander getting caught up in one of their plans.

"What's your name?" Light asked gently, trying to get the man to calm down.

"Sh-Shuichi." The man's eyes were darting from side to side like those of a wild animal. "Wh-what happened? I was- The computer- Teleportation?" The poor man didn't have the right words to describe the shocks he'd just been through.

Light sighed. Cue his ability to alter a person's memories. Damn, he hadn't wanted to do this sort of thing in front of humans. This was going to end badly, Light just knew it. "Listen to me." The man, Shuichi, turned to look at Light, only to be hypnotized by ivory eyes. His frightened-rabbit quivering died down, and he stilled completely, staring into Light's eyes as Light informed him of what his day was like now. "You had a completely normal day at Yotsuba, doing... nothing out of the ordinary at all. The only odd thing was the fact that you felt ill at lunch, and went home. Do you understand?"

Shuichi nodded slowly before responding monotonously. "I understand."

"Good." Light would admit that he purred slightly, but altering someone's memories always gave him a slight rush. "Now repeat your instructions back to me."

"I had a completely normal day today. At lunch I felt ill and went home." Still, Shuichi's voice was monotone. Light thought he saw Mogi shudder out of the corner of his eye. Light wouldn't blame him, such puppet-like behavior was mildly disturbing in a human.

"Very good. That's it exactly. Now, you will laugh at your coworkers when they say you were eaten by a possessed computer, and believe that someone in R&D was testing some holographic equipment using your image, but it went wrong. Do you understand?"

Again, Shuichi nodded. "I understand."

"Good. Repeat your instructions."

"When my coworkers tell me that I was eaten by a possessed computer, I will believe that an R&D experiment went wrong."

"Very good." Light was going to say more, but Near interrupted him.

"Light, I believe that is all you have to mess with his mind. That is definitely enough to keep our secret."

Ivory eyes snapped around to meet Near's calm grey eyes. "No," Light whispered softly, before raising his voice slightly. "No, it is not enough. It's never enough! You don't understand, he's still a danger, he could still reveal us! We need to put safeguards into place, make entirely certain that he will not remember something he should not!"

Aryn stepped forward, gently touching Light's arm. Light snapped around to face her, ivory eyes fading to honey. He groaned.

"Odin, I overdid it again, didn't I?"

Aryn nodded, a smirk twitching at her lips. "You really need to stop overdrawing on our old powers, Light. The fact that we have the memories, and have the genetic structure of Angels, doesn't mean that we're able to do everything we were in the past. Different lives are kept separate for a reason. Or at least," Aryn amended when she saw Light quirk one of his eyebrows, "most of the time. Then again, we've always been freaks, neh?"

Shuichi was blinking rapidly and looking around, looking confused, but still too calm to really be frightened. Near sighed.

"Would either of you two be willing to Flash him back to Yotsuba? I'd do it, but I am not a masochist by any means, and Flashing really is painful for me."

Aryn sighed. "I'll go." She grabbed Shuichi's arm and the two disappeared.

Near turned to Light and Misa. "May I ask what happened while you were at Yotsuba? Or would it be best not to ask?"

Light looked up at the ceiling. "Umm... actually, I don't really know what happened. I'd guess Mello did something. You know he can mess with electronics, thanks to the fact that he's got control of electricity, via his control of electrons."

Near rolled his eyes. "I know Light, and I'm fairly sure everyone else is completely lost. So kindly skip to what actually happened."

"Near as I can tell," Light began, gleefully pretending not to notice Near's wince. (Near really didn't like the fact that his name featured in so many colloquial sayings.) "Matt and Mello had some other plan, and they somehow convinced L to go along with that plan. I'd guess that they figured that the distraction Ryuuk could provide was not quite enough. So, Mello messed with one of the computers, making it a temporary gate to here or something. Then, he set his miniature minion of electricity and doom upon Misa and me, transporting us back to here. I'd guess he then forgot to turn off the gate before setting his minion on some innocent bystander."

Near sighed. "Well, if they went along with some other plan, we had better hope that they at least managed to complete the end goals of the mission."

At that point, Ryuuk popped into the room at high speeds. He flew from one end of the room, to the other, and out the other wall, an audible squeal following behind him. Near and Light stared, along with the three humans. After a moment, Ryuuk returned to the room.

"Sorry 'bout that," Ryuuk laughed slightly sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "Kinda jus' flew from Yotsuba t' here in... half a minute flat? That's... speeds of 97 kilometers per hour? Somethin' like that. Too fast for me t' stop that quickly. Anyways, wha' gives, Lighto? You n' Misa jus' disappeared!"

Light sighed and face-palmed. "Ryuuk, we are not entirely sure, but expect to be sure in roughly a maximum of ten minutes."

Aryn Flashed back into the room. "Kay, the Shuichi dude is back where he belongs, without any memories of what happened in the intervening time, and the firm belief that he gave the R&D department permission to use his image in an experiment or something. All the loose ends are tied up."

Misa sighed, looking at the floor.

"Misa-san? What's wrong?" Sayu asked. Misa looked up sadly.

"Misa just isn't used to being able to do nothing. When she was growing up, Misa was always able to do something to help, but as of right now... Misa's powers are still locked away. Misa's parents told her about the seal they used on Misa's powers a while before Misa's parents and her sister were killed, and it will take another three years, at least, before Misa gets her powers back fully. So, at the moment, Misa's just as human as you are, Sayu-chan. And, no offense, Sayu-chan, but Misa doesn't like being human now that she remembers being not human." Misa looked absolutely miserable. "I'm sorry. I don't like burdening others with my problems."

Sayu rubbed Misa's arm comfortingly, leading her out of the room. "It's okay, Misa-san. That's what friends are for, to help a person get through their problems when their problems are too big for them to deal with on their own!"

Misa laughed softly as she allowed herself to be led by the younger girl. "Misa doesn't think that sentence quite made sense."

Sayu shrugged just as the two walked out of the room. "It got the point across, yeah?"

Light shook his head at Aryn. "Ever feel like you're living some crappy soap opera out?"

Aryn nodded. "Especially when it comes to weeks like the past week. Hell, the past half-year or more might as well have been written by some novice fantasy novelist. Everything seems to be fitting into place all at once."

Near nodded. "It does seem rather suspicious, does it not?"

Mello Flashed into the room at that moment, dragging a dead-seeming body with him, and apparently holding onto thin air. Matsuda screamed.

THUD.

Mello dropped the body as he turned to look at Matsuda. "I thought we got that straightened out?"

"I'm starting to think it's a brain disorder of some kind or something," Aryn said matter-of-factly. "It's far too consistent for it to be simply coincidence or cowardice."

"Maybe his brain can only process so much information before it has to shut itself down to assimilate the information it has stockpiled?" Near surmised as Light knelt down beside Matsuda to peel back one of his eyelids.

"Well, he doesn't appear to be harmed in any way," Light said, peering into Matsuda's eyes. "In fact, it doesn't look like he's doing anything more than simply sleeping."

"Shock-induced narcolespy?" Aryn asked. Light shrugged, standing back up.

"No clue. Actually, I don't think that's a real condition. I do know that we might as well get to explanations. If Matsuda's going to keep on doing this, we might as well not wait for him to wake up before we get on to the clearing up of the mud."

"..." Everyone stared at him blankly.

Light sighed. "Just get on with explaining what the crap that stunt with the computer was, Mello." Light turned away slightly, and muttered to himself, "Am I the only one to get metaphors that seem utterly obvious if you think about it?"

It was at this point that Matt and L Flashed back into the room, L stumbling slightly from the sudden change in location. Flashing may have been instantaneous, but it was by no means easy on the inner ear. It was rather obvious to Light, who had reviewed Kira's memories, and been able to decipher most, if not all, of L's minute expressional clues, that L was rather disturbed by something that had happened while he was in Yotsuba.

Light caught L before he could fall to the ground, and pulled the older man into a hug, glaring at Matt and Mello. "What did you two do to him?"

Mello rolled his eyes. "We didn't do anything but come up with a lot more likely of a plan. It was a case of selective deafness on your part. A-frigging-gain. I think L's just not used to acting so much. He might have had a background role, but still. He had to pretend to look up to Matt, and, much as I love him, I admit it would take a hell of a lot to get most people to look up to him, let alone someone with as much pride as L."

Mello did have a point, Light admitted to himself. Matt wasn't exactly the easiest person to pretend to look up to.

The blond man who Mello had dropped on the floor when Matsuda lost conciousness stirred and tried to sit up.

"Oh, my head. Wha-" the man began as he looked about, before being cut off by a sharp blow to the head from Mello.

"Damn that feels good!" Mello muttered to himself, smirking viciously.

Matt sighed, flopping down into one of the empty chairs. "Mel, I think we're gonna have to explain our plan. First of all, that is jack-ass-tard himself, Takahashi, Astarot, whatever you want to call him. I knocked him out and figured, hey, since we're here and he's defenseless, might as well bring him along with us, dissect the Death Note's spirit and all."

Rem choked slightly on her shock. "Dissect the what?" Ryuuk jerked in surprise, not having noticed the fact that Rem was in the room before.

"Rem?" Ryuuk asked. "Have these crazy people gotten ta you too?"

"Indeed," Rem deadpanned, before looking at Matt. "I was told I would be able to see Misa, yet I do not see her. Where did Misa go?"

Matt looked around the room, frowning in confusion. "You know? I'm not entirely sure."

Light twitched. "Matt, what have we said about responding to the voices in your head when they aren't one of ours?"

Matt rolled his eyes at Light. "I'm not going crazier then normal, thank you oh so very much for your faith in my abilities. L found the Death Note that had been in Jack-ass-tard's possession, and we brought it back. Reminds me," Matt opened his briefcase and pulled out a black notebook and tossed it carelessly to Aryn, who yelped and caught it. "here ya go. Pass that around, and everyone should be able to see her. Rem, I think you said she was named, Light?"

Light nodded, absently grabbing the notebook from Aryn. He passed it on to Near before turning to greet Rem. He had an idea of what he had to do to gain the Shingami's forgiveness for planning how to get her to kill herself while he was being controlled by the Death Note.

"Rem," Light intoned formally before sinking down to his knees and bowing his head. "I ask you forgiveness for the despicable things I planned for you to do while I was... being controlled. Rest assured that the Light Yagami before you now is not the same Light Yagami as the one that you first met. And the one before you is the true one."

Rem stared at Light, startled. She had never, never in what would have been her wildest dreams, if Shinigami could dream, imagined that Light Yagami would one day ask for her forgiveness.

"Do you accept?" Near asked, staring intently at Rem.

Rem hesitated for a moment. "I hope I do not come to regret this," she began. Light flinched, anticipating a negative response. "but, Light Yagami, I forgive you."

Light stood up slowly. "I thank you, Rem."

Rem turned away, uncomfortable with this new and strange Light Yagami, who apparently had added the names of Blabdas, Arget and Suino to his own. "Where is Misa?"

"Umm..."

"Oh yeah!" Aryn exclaimed. "Sayu brought Misa back to the apartment, cause she was feeling all inferior cause she can't get her powers back for another couple of years, and she seems to think that we're going to banish her from the Court, even though we'd never do something like that, and so she was feeling all insecure and stuff and... and... yeah." Aryn trailed off, not really sure how to end that sentence.

"Did you seriously just say all of that in one sentence?" Mello asked incredulously.

Aryn nodded wordlessly, smiling brightly at Mello. Mello shuddered slightly.

"Frigging stop it! You know how fucking creepy it is when you start acting all ditzy! I swear, it makes me think you're going to break into a goddamned cheering routine!"

Aryn grinned. "But, Mello, you know that's why I do it!"

"Aryn, it disturbs me too," Near said quietly, knowing Aryn would hear him.

Aryn looked down. "Sorry Near."

Light turned to Rem, who was still confused about what was going on, and Ryuuk. "Ryuuk, can you take Rem over to the apartment? I'm sure she'd like to see Misa and learn everything that's been going on for the past few days."

Ryuuk nodded and led Rem out of the room via wall. Why they avoided the open door, which was two feet to the left of the point where they passed through the wall, was anyone's guess.

Takahashi groaned and tried to sit up again. Mello raised a hand to knock the man back to the ground, but was stopped from doing so by a touch from Matt.

"Leave him. Let him wake up so we can start to get an idea of how his sob story is different from everyone else's. If he actually views it as a sob story, which isn't very likely due to the fact that he pretty much drove your mother to suicide."

Mello sighed, deflating slightly. "But I like to hit him! It makes me feel better!" Mello whined. Matt whapped him on the head.

"Idiot, calm down. you're going to freak him out, and we don't want him to get violent."

Mello quirked an eyebrow at Matt.

"More violent than he's already likely to," Matt amended.

While Matt and Mello were having their whispered conversation, Light, as the most charismatic of the group, had strode forward and stared Takahashi down.

"Eiichi Takahashi..." Light began, before stopping himself. "No. Astarot Keehl. You are under arrest for being Kira."

The blonde man looked at Light in mock-confusion, not fooling anyone. "What are you talking about? I'm not Kira. I don't know why you'd think I am. And what are you talking about, Astarot Keehl? I've never heard that name before in my life."

Near stepped forward. "You are not fooling anyone in this room, Kira. We found the killing weapon, the Death Note. Rem has stated that you are Kira. And as for being Astarot Keehl, well. There's a difference between the human police and us."

The man flinched backwards, but gave no other indication of fright as L-5 simultaneously released their glamours, letting their non-human characteristics show.

A cruel smirk curved Mello's lips as he strode forward. "What's the matter, Takahashi? Don't you recognize your own son?"

Taahashi flinched backwards, eyes wide. "M-Mihael?"

Mello nodded coldly, eyes raising to meet Takahashi's.

"Hello, father."

AAAAAAAAAND, CLIFFIE!

...Okay, not really. I don't think. Can't really remember what happens in the next chapter, given how far ahead of it I am in writing. But it is a dramatic moment.

Please excuse my more insane than usual state. I'm doped up on cold meds cause I'm getting a chest cold and had a fever.

Due to my sicko state, no omake today. Sorry. But, I will most likely be updating on Christmas. So, feel grateful for that, at least.