A/N: Here's another chapter. I hope you all like it!

Special thanks to Snowbeardolphin, jenny crum, Christiangirl, K8e1, Westie80, Sophia0665, CM Fan, red2013, BAUMember!

I don't own criminal minds!

Chapter 21: Old grudges

About two hours later, Tom drove into the underground parking garage and stopped his car nervously. What was he thinking? Was he really doing this? He knew deep down that he could be making the biggest mistake of his entire life. But what happened was never supposed to happen. He was furious. But most of all with himself. He put JJ in the situation. He was at fault and he couldn't go back to fix the mistakes that had been made. He prayed he could, but time had passed. And so had Griffen. There was no going back for any of them.

And when he heard multiple footsteps behind him, that feeling was confirmed. He couldn't go back. He was there to stay and to talk. He had to do anything to protect JJ. To keep her safe and to give her a piece of her life back. He hoped he could do it.

So he turned around, faced with the people who used to send shivers down his spine and apparently still did. He felt the life drain from his body as they approached him. He was sick at the sight of the three familiar faces. He felt like vomiting or even running away. In that moment he was closer to death than he ever had been.

''You wanted to talk, Murphy?'' one of the man began. ''Well, let's talk then!''

Tom suddenly noticed a younger man, around thirty-five years old, stepping from another car. He was wearing black clothes and looked like the hired body guard, but a moment Tom spent with JJ made him realize who he was. JJ had described the eyes and the expression on his face. Emotionless and cold. Not a trace of good or remorse. ''You!'' Tom said angrily as he leaped forward and tried to punch the man, but he moved away. So Tom fell down on the ground, face down, holding himself up on his elbows. He rose from the ground, only to be pushed back down. Kicks and punches to his body followed as he lay on the floor.

One of the men watched the scene unfold in front of him, not caring about Tom, but he knew this would only make the detective more vengeful than ever before. ''Stop! Please!'' he ordered and Anthony Hall stepped away immediately.

Tom stood up with difficulty, hissing out in pain. But he wasn't going to show his weak side. These people weren't supposed to see any fear. If they did you'd be dead within seconds. ''Why did you this?'' Tom asked angrily. ''Why did you kill him? Why was my niece shot?''

The oldest stepped forward, only inches away from Tom and sighed deeply before answering. ''We made a deal, Murphy!'' he began but Tom interrupted him.

''That was years ago, Murray!'' Tom shot back. ''What the hell is wrong with you people? How many more people have to die so you can go on living the way you do?''

Murray was still standing in front of Tom, not intimated by him at all. Tom could never hurt him anyway. It was the other way around. He was the one with the leverage. ''We made a deal and you didn't hold up your end of the bargain, so it had consequences in the past. And it had consequences in the past. This is on you!''

''One day, someone will figure out what you've been doing all these years and you will all go down!'' Tom warned and he was about to walk away when Murray started talking.

''If anyone uncovers the truth, Jennifer Jareau will die!'' he warned. ''And it won't be pretty. We've given you two warnings before, so I expected that it's enough.''

''Don't flatter yourself.'' Tom said. He turned his attention to the other two, trying to ignore the man who had actually killed Griffen West, the father and husband of Lucy and JJ. ''What about you, Austen? And you, Tucker?'' he demanded. ''Still enjoying being part of The Elite?'' he asked angrily, showing his disgust.

He got no answer, so he turned around to go back to his car and to leave a place what felt like hell. But no matter where he went these people would always haunt him. The fear of being the cause of another death would rip apart his life. Too much had happened already and too many people had died because of his mistake years ago. It wasn't fair, but telling the truth would only cause more damage. He knew JJ would never be able to forgive him when she found out and he wouldn't blame her. So he was keeping it all a secret. He only had to find a way to let the investigation go cold. He had to interject himself in the investigation in order to discover what the FBI and NYPD knew.

JJ walked out the bedroom, hoping no one would be in the apartment. She wanted some time alone, to reflect on her feelings. But as soon as she stepped out, she noticed Emily sitting on the couch, staring ahead of her. JJ hadn't spoken to the agent much, but she looked like a nice person. She hadn't been demanding or angry at all. She was one fine agent.

Emily looked up to see JJ standing in the doorway. So she sat straight up. ''Is there anything I can help you with?''

JJ walked into the living room and dropped down on the couch. ''Not really.'' she answered. ''I hoped I would be alone for a while.'' she admitted flatly.

Emily laughed. ''There's no chance in hell that will ever happen.'' she joked, seeing a small smile appear on JJ's face.

''Let me guess…'' JJ started. ''Aaron insisted that someone should be with me at all times. He really has changed.''

''First of all, it's so weird to hear his real name. We all call him Hotch.'' she explained. ''And second of all, I only know him one way.''

''How is that?'' JJ asked curiously, realizing she felt a sense of relieve for the first time since Griffen had died. She forgot her pain for a moment and that felt absolutely wonderful.

''I know Hotch as the serious, stoic, dedicated man.'' Emily replied. ''He doesn't show much emotion. And he's selfless. He would put any of us ahead of him.''

JJ coughed as she heard Emily summing up what Hotch was like. That wasn't how she had known him, but still loved him for who he used to be. That was the man she fell in love with after all. ''Well, that's not how I knew him.'' JJ began. ''That's not who I fell in love with.''

''Oh, please tell me!'' Emily begged.

''I fell in love with the dangerous, selfish ladies men.'' JJ said simply. ''He was sweet and warm, but when something threatened our relationship, he always gave up. He never really fought for me and that wasn't enough for me after years of heartache.''

''I understand.'' Emily said compassionately. ''Are you still in love with him?''

JJ was surprised by her question and it immediately made her think. ''I don't think so.'' she said honestly. ''But I didn't have much time to really think about him when I was married. I loved Griffen with all my heart. But now old feelings have definitely resurfaced.''

Emily wasn't shocked by JJ's statement. She had already seen that her boss was deeply in love with the blonde detective. But now she was that JJ possibly felt the same way. It was something in her eyes that lit up when they talked about Aaron Hotchner. It was like her grief vanished and was replaced with joy.