So I've worked all day to get this chapter done and here it is. I hope you enjoy it. It's a bit longer, but a lot more stuff happens. I adore the plot of this chapter :) So read it. I hope you enjoy it. Feel free to review and leave comments.
Chapter 21: Easy
Ellie woke up the next morning, feeling more rested than she had felt in a while. It was nice, she thought, to wake up and not be worried a bottle was going to come smashing at you when you went downstairs. She rolled over and saw the picture again. Her and Sean. Sean and her. Why did he still have a picture of them up? If Jennifer had been staying with him, she would have made sure that that picture was ripped apart and thrown away. There's no way it would still be up in plain sight like it was. It confused her, and now she had even more stuff she had to work through. She sighed. It never ended did it?
She pushed herself out of bed, realizing that she needed to get going. She would have to go home and change before school. Plus she didn't want to stay in Sean's apartment any longer than she had to. Being here brought back memories, and the memories would just confuse her even more. She was already trying to work through her feelings for Craig. The last thing she needed were memories of Sean swirling around in her head on top of that.
She opened the bedroom door to find Sean sitting on the couch. Apparently he'd already been in the bedroom to get clothes. He was already dressed in his usual jeans and T-shirt. "Morning," he gave her a small smile. "How are you feeling?"
"Better," she said. She tossed the gold bag on her shoulder and made her way to the door. She needed to get out of here fast. "Thanks for letting me stay here Sean."
"Woah, where are you going?"
"Oh I figured I needed to get going. I need to go home and do some stuff for school. I need to take advantage of my mom being gone." Sean nodded.
"Okay then. Thanks for coming." He said, running his hand through his hair.
"No thank you for letting me crash here. I appreciate it."
"Hey, listen El," he said, stopping her in the doorway. "If it gets bad again, don't hesitate to come here. You deserve to be able to get a good night's sleep feeling safe."
It was Ellie's turn to nod, and she gave Sean a slight grin. "I will Sean. Thanks again." And then she was gone. To Sean, it felt like she was gone just as quick as she came. Her exit took the breath out of him. She'd been a glimmer in the grayness of his life. And just like a flame burning out, his glimmer of light was gone, leaving him in the dark once more.
Emma could barely believe her ears. "Wait, Ellie showed up at your apartment?" She and Sean were sitting at a table nestled in the corner of the cafeteria, eating lunch Monday afternoon. Emma let her eyes dart around the cafeteria every few seconds, searching for Manny. She saw her in line still. She looked back to Sean, knowing she needed to talk fast. When Manny got to the table, the conversation about Ellie would have to cease or else Manny would go off on a tangent. She still hadn't gotten over Craig leaving her for Ellie. Emma doubted she ever would. Craig was the love of Manny's life, the man she always expected she'd end up with. It was similar to the way Emma had viewed Sean up until recently.
Sean nodded. "Yeah, she showed up at my apartment bleeding."
"Oh my gosh, is she ok?"
"Yeah. Her mom threw a bottle at her. She had a pretty bad cut, but I cleaned it for her and bandaged it up. I mean what psychotic bitch throws a fucking bottle at her own daughter? She could have seriously hurt her." Emma nodded, giving Sean a sympathetic smile. It must be hard. She felt terrible for Ellie. What Ellie had to go to through was something that no one should've had to go through. And the stress that it put on Sean was hard too. Ellie might not see it right now, but Sean still worried about her. He still watched her out of the corner of his eye.
"So how was it? Was it awkward?" She asked, trying to shift the subject.
"Not really. But then we didn't really spend that much time around each other. I bandaged her up and then she went to bed. But who could blame her, the poor girl."
"What about this morning?"
"Well, she kinda bolted as soon as she got up. I was gonna offer to make her breakfast, but she said she had to go and left so fast."
"How was it for you? I mean suddenly seeing her again, having her at your place?"
"It was nice you know. It was the one night that I absolutely knew she was safe. I definitely slept better knowing she was there, knowing she was ok. But then she left this morning and went home. And she said her mother wouldn't be there, but it still made me nervous because you really never know with her mother. But I saw her at school this morning. She seemed ok."
"Well that's good." Emma said.
"I know it seems pathetic, but it made me miss her more, having her there and then she just left so fast."
"I know, but you'll see, everything'll turn out alright in the end. She'll come around." Sean nodded, and Emma and he both fell silent on the subject as Manny approached the table. She sat down and they talked about other things, but all through lunch Emma's thoughts were far away from the conversation, as an idea began to take form in her mind.
"Okay," Ms. Kwan droned on, "Today's the day we pick partners for the English project."
Ellie sighed and looked at Craig's empty seat. He'd gotten in really late Sunday night, exhausted from his weekend road trip, so much so that Joey agreed to let him have Monday off from school to catch up on his sleep. Ellie hadn't even got to see him yet. She'd only been able to have the brief phone conversation with him. But first thing after school, she was going over there to see him. She smiled inwardly at the idea.
"And by 'we pick partners' I mean I've already assigned them." Ms. Kwan said, noticing the students looking around and chattering about who to pair with. This was met by several groans. Ms. Kwan actually looked sadistically happy by the students' irritation as she started calling out partners. "I've decided to do something different this time. I've paired each of you up with people in different classes. So your partner might not be in your grade level. My advice to you: get over it and get the project done. This is designed to help you increase your flexibility. You won't always be able to have it your way in life, so you might as well get used to it." She said as she approached the first role of students. From somewhere in the back, Spinner's voice whispered out, "I know better ways to increase flexibility." Jimmy laughed and Ms. Kwan looked pointedly at them.
"Gavin," she said curtly, "you'll be paired with Liberty van Zandt." Spinner groaned, and Ms. Kwan smiled in a victorious manner. "Jimmy, you'll be paired with Paige." She moved along. "Marco, you'll be paired with Mr. Manning. Make sure you fill him in on the assignment." Marco nodded as Mrs. Kwan walked passed him, giving out partners quickly. "Ellie Nash," she said, looking toward the red-head. Ellie could hear her heart beat in her ears and she thought of Sean, almost instinctively knowing they'd be paired up. "You're with Emma Nelson." Ellie breathed a silent sigh of relief. She wasn't partnered with Sean, but she wasn't sure exactly how much of a step up Emma was. She'd have to find out.
Ellie walked down the sidewalk after the bell rang, excited to get to Craig's and see him. She really did care about him, and she had missed him over the weekend. She'd teased him about his separation anxiety, but was feeling a lot of her own. Suddenly she heard footsteps fast approaching and a voice calling out, "Ellie! Hey Ellie, wait up!" She turned her head to see Emma Nelson fast approaching.
"Hey Emma," she said, continuing walking as Emma caught up and matched her stride.
"So I heard Ms. Kwan paired us up on the English project."
"Yeah, we'll have to get together some time and work on it."
"Yeah, here," she said pulling out a scrap piece of paper with a number written on it. "This is my number. You can text me or call me sometime and we can set up a time to work on it."
Ellie nodded. "Sure."
"You going to see Craig?" Emma asked, uncertainty creeping into her voice little by little.
"Yeah, he was out of town this weekend. So I thought I'd go see him."
Emma was quiet for a minute, choosing her next words carefully. "Listen Ellie, I know that we're not close or anything like that, but I've always considered you a really nice girl." Ellie gave her an odd look and nodded slowly.
"Thanks, I guess," she said in a bland, almost sarcastic voice.
"And I know it's none of my business, but I just wanted to tell you something, which you can choose to believe or not." Ellie stopped now and looked at her, her blonde hair hanging loosely around her face, complementing her tanned skin. She narrowed her eyes slightly at the blonde.
"What Emma?"
"I know you're not going to want to hear this…." She trailed off, losing her nerve. Ellie had a bad feeling about this.
"Spit it out Emma. I don't have all day."
Emma gulped and took a breath before looking at Ellie straight on. "Sean didn't cheat on you." She said it fast, each word spilling out over the one before it. Ellie's eyes widened slightly. She was definitely caught off guard by that. She didn't say anything for a moment and Emma waited for something to happen next. Ellie shook her head and began walking again.
"You're right Emma. It's none of your business." Emma followed, refusing to give up that easily.
"Ellie, no wait, please listen to me. He really didn't. And he feels terrible about all the pain he caused you!" Ellie turned around, causing Emma to almost run into her. Ellie's eyebrows were narrowed at Emma and she was seething.
"He should be. He broke my heart twice! I loved him! And he just hurt me! He hurt me Emma, bad!"
"Ellie, he would never. Sean came back for you, to be with you. And he meant every word he said. He would never cheat on you or do anything to jeopardize his relationship with you."
"Oh yeah? Emma, I don't know what Sean told you, but you didn't go to his apartment and find him with a half-naked girl."
"He didn't know she was there!"
Ellie looked at Emma incredulously. "You've got to be kidding me? Really, he didn't know she was there. How else did she get in Emma?"
"His door was unlocked. She just walked in."
"I'm sorry if I don't believe you." She walked past Emma. Emma stopped following her, standing firmly in place.
"Ellie, he was leaving!" She called out. Ellie stopped at this. "He packed up and was going to go back to Wasaga with Jennifer. But he didn't because I convinced him to stick around and fight for you. But he won't, not while you're with Craig. He wants you to have a fair shot at a relationship with him. But he's still here, hoping to work things out."
Ellie turned around. "We're not going to work things out Emma." She said meekly.
"He still loves you Ellie. He loves you so much."
"Enough to leave," she shrugged.
"Enough to step back and let you be happy with another guy. It's the ultimate sign of love. It's like that saying, 'If you love something, set it free, and if it's meant to be, it'll come back to you.'" Ellie was quiet for a moment, and then tilted her head slightly to the side.
"Emma, why are you defending him? I thought you were in love with him still. Shouldn't you be happy we're not together?"
"I was in love with him." She acknowledged.
"And why don't you love him now?"
"Because I saw the way he looked at you, and I realized he'd never once looked at me like that. It hurt like hell to let go of him. But I did because I realized he didn't belong to me anymore. He never really did. His heart is with you. He's never loved anyone like he loves you. And I'm not trying to get you to break up with Craig and get back with Sean. I'm just trying to tell you the truth, so you can have all the facts."
Ellie looked at the ground and then back at Emma. She nodded and then turned around. "I'll call you about the English project. I have to go see my boyfriend." And this time, she didn't stop. She didn't turn around. She just kept walking.
Craig was waiting on the doorstep when she got there. He stood up when he saw her and she smiled, quickening her pace. She jumped into his arms, and he kissed the top of her head. "Hey," he laughed. She kissed him a couple of times. "Wow, if this is the kind of welcome I get, I should go out of town more often."
"I missed you at school today."
"I'm sorry. I was just so tired. I had to get some sleep."
"I know," she smiled. "Oh, by the way, you're paired with Marco for an English project."
"Oh, who are you paired with?"
"Emma Nelson."
"Emma? We're not in the same class though."
"Ms. Kwan is trying something new where she pairs people from different classes."
"Oh," Craig said. "Well, at least it's Emma. She's a sweet girl. Now forget about school. Let's get back to you. Joey's not home. He took Angie to the park for a few hours…if you wanted to come in." She chuckled at the way he was beating around the bush about it. In response, she leaned into him and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her before pulling away, taking her hand, and leading her inside.
The further inside Craig's house she went, the more her stomach twisted into knots. She knew she shouldn't have come inside. She knew she shouldn't let things go this far, but she couldn't help it. Emma had said a lot of things and she needed to prove to herself that she wanted Craig. And as she heard herself think that, she knew she needed to leave. That was no reason to do this. But she didn't know how to leave.
Craig pulled her into his bedroom. She looked around. "So this is where the Craig Manning lives." He smiled at her and yanked her toward him. She was about to say something about taking it slow when Craig kissed her. It was a sweet, tender kiss, one full of trust and feeling. It gave her chills. She was surprised by the kiss and how much it affected her. Craig pulled away.
"El, I know you wanted to take things slow, but I can't not say it anymore." She held her breath. "El, I love you." He'd said it. They'd both known it, but now it was out in the open atmosphere between them. She didn't know what she was doing anymore, but she leaned into him and kissed him. Her hands laced themselves around his neck and he walked backwards towards the bed. They fell on it, giggling like the high school kids they were.
"Why Craig Manning, I think you're trying to seduce me." Craig kissed her lips and looked at her lovingly.
"You bet I am. It looks like it's working too." He laughed and kissed her again. Craig placed a trail of kisses from her lips down her neck.
Ellie's hands were tangled in his hair as she closed her eyes. She inaudibly began to speak. "I love you. I love you Sean." And just like that her eyes flew open and she disentangled herself from Craig. She was in full blown panic mode. Craig hadn't heard her say anything, but she couldn't believe what she said.
"El, whoa El, are you ok? What's wrong?" Craig asked, but Ellie just pushed him away.
"I'm sorry Craig. I have to go. I have to get out of here." She rushed out of his room and out of the house.
"ELLIE!" He called after her, but she was running down the sidewalk now. It had started raining. She hadn't heard the rain from inside, not that it mattered now. She was on the verge of hyperventilating. She needed to calm down. But how could she when she had just said that she loved Sean. She took a few deep breaths, still running down the sidewalk. She wasn't sure what to do or where to go. She was fighting back tears as she made up her mind where to go.
She knocked on the door and movement stirred on the other side of it. But it seemed far away. She fidgeted, unable to keep still. She knocked again. The movement was closer to the door now. Then she wondered why she was here. She shouldn't be here. Ellie turned around and started rushing around the corner as the door opened. She shouldn't have come. This was stupid. It wasn't going to change anything. "Ellie?" The person at the door called.
Ellie rushed down the stairs and out of the apartment building back into the pouring rain. She started walking down the sidewalk when she heard the door open and close right behind her. "Ellie! Hey, El, talk to me."
"Sean, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here. Sorry to bother you."
"No El, you didn't bother me. Do you need to stay with me tonight? Is your mom on a drinking binge again?"
"No." She replied matter-of-factly.
"Oh." He said, not expecting that answer. "That's good. Well then what's up?"
"Nothing Sean, I told you it was a mistake for me to come here."
"El, you know you can talk to me about anything. What's wrong? Are you ok?" She turned and looked at him through red-rimmed eyes. "What's wrong El?" He asked again.
"Emma said you stayed here for me." She started. Sean was caught off guard.
"What?"
"Emma said that you were going to leave with Jennifer, but that you stayed to fight for me."
"To be honest I did."
"But you didn't. You didn't fight for me!"
"I didn't think you wanted me to fight for you. I thought you wanted to be with Craig, so I let you be with him. You deserve every chance to be happy, and it may not be with me. But that's all I want El: to see you happy. I want you to be with the person who you love, and if that's Craig, then it's Craig."
Ellie was silent for a second as she felt anger rising through her. Her breathing quickened and her lips tightened. "Let me tell you something Sean Cameron!" She said a little louder than expected. Sean was actually taken aback by her volume. Sean didn't say anything. "Craig is a great guy!" She practically shouted. "He listens to me! He calls me when he says he will! He's always on time! Craig is an amazing boyfriend! He's passionate about music and driven to reach his goals! He even spent the weekend talking to a music executive about the band! Craig's going places! And he's unbelievably sweet and patient and caring! And Craig loves me. He loves me Sean, in a way that I never have to wonder if he'll cheat on me! And Craig takes care of me. When you broke my heart he was there to pick up the pieces! He fixed me Sean! He fixed me! He wanted to be there for me!" Sean was still quiet, listening to Ellie yell at the top of her lungs.
"And being with Craig is easy! It's easy! As easy as breathing!" She screamed, shaking her head at him. All her anger had left her body with her long rant. She was out of breath. She took a few deep breaths and looked at Sean. His clothes were rain-soaked by now. His eyes were wide with a look of innocence, and Ellie could see the rain in his hair and the drops run down his face. He was beautiful. And just like that she closed the distance and kissed him desperately. She cupped his face with her hands. Sean hadn't expected the kiss, but it didn't take him long to react. He tangled his hands in her red hair and pulled her as close as she could get to him. He broke away from the kiss and stared at her beautiful brown eyes. "Ellie, I love you." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again. They tangled themselves together, forgetting the rain altogether.